Hey guys, I'm sorry it's been so long. True is, I had another tragedy strike my life and it has been hard to concentrate on writing. This probably isn't the best chapter and I apologize for that but I wanted to get something out to you guys. I hope you enjoy it.
Here we go….
"Have you been here long?"
The voice snapped Susan out of her daze; she looked behind her to see that Aragorn was draping a cloak around her shoulders before coming to stand next to her.
"Thank you." She whispered before adjusting the cloak around her more securely. "And I am not really sure."
He leaned on the rail, completely taken by the night sky that had captivated Susan since her arrival in Middle Earth. Both knew that so much needed to be said but did not know how or what these words could be.
Susan bit her lip nervously as she decided to turn to look at the future king of Gondor, who returned her gaze. "I assume you talked to Gandalf."
Aragorn nodded. "He thinks you are very upset."
Susan chuckled humorlessly. "And what do you think?"
The man looked over at her, the same seriousness that he always carried in his eyes present. "I think you have the same feelings as I on the matter." Aragorn turned his entire body to now face Susan. "You are not alone in this, Susan, you must remember that we are going through this together."
Susan nodded before looking back out into the distance. What was she supposed to say? A deep, shaking, breath escaped her lungs as she fought to find words.
"Susan," Aragorn's words called her eyes back to him. The man met her gaze for a second before he had to look down, fighting, as Susan had, to find some words of comfort. It was in that moment that Susan realized that, for the first time since they had met, Aragorn was showing vulnerability. Like her, he did not know how to grasp at the situation. "You need to know that I truly care about you and I will not force you into a situation that you cannot live with." He paused before looking back into her blue eyes. "You are a great friend, Susan, and I will not judge you if you say you cannot fulfill the prophecy."
Susan nodded again, but this time she was able to find words to verbalize. "And if I say no, then your country, your cities, and your people will fall into ruin and suffer..." It was a statement, not a question.
Aragorn pursed his lips and just stared at the queen for a moment. How was he supposed to tell her what she wanted to know? How was he going to tell her that she was the key to the future of Gondor?
"We do not know that for sure." He finally decided on. It was not exactly a lie; he really could not say that Gondor would fall if Susan would not help him rule.
"But we do not know that it will not happen." Susan paused to take yet another deep breath. "I will not be selfish, Aragorn. I will not let people feel pain and suffer because of me...but at the same time people will suffer either way, won't they?"
"Are you talking about us?" He asked, a raised eyebrow settled toward his forehead.
"Among others...Arwen...and..." She did not want to say his name, not when she had just convinced herself that this was for the best, that she was better off without him. The elf made her unlike herself, he made he something different that she could not yet describe, and that scared her.
"And Legolas?" Aragorn finally said the name for her.
Susan felt her chest tighten slightly but the sensation went away as quickly as it came; she had to harden her heart to it now. The queen smiled slightly and nodded. "But I guess we must sacrifice a few for the greater good, correct?"
"I suppose that is true." Aragorn agreed.
"Alright, then. It is settled?" Susan shot back, wanting to be done with this conversation. Aragorn nodded before Susan did the same. "Well, then would you mind if we continued this discussion another time? It's been a long while since I have had any sleep and would truly appreciate some."
"Of course, my lady." Aragorn told her knowingly.
Susan nodded to him, one final time, before turning from him and walking as quickly as she could back toward the Great Hall and away from him. She rounded the corner, back closer to the activity but still far enough away to have her space, and stopped, leaning heavily on the wall.
Why was she letting this affect her so? The old Susan would have dealt with this gracefully- no fuss, no complaints-but the new Susan? The Susan who had appeared randomly in Middle Earth and become the Great Defender of a world she knew nothing about? She felt an ache in the pit of her stomach knowing that she was going to give up love in order to insure the happiness of everyone else. Susan knew that she could be happy with Aragorn, he was a great friend, and she cared for him deeply; however, it was not what she hoped for.
But what had she expected?
In Narnia-during the Golden Age-she was willing to marry Rabadash, a man she did not know, but was willing to try to create a life with in order to keep her country and it's people safe. But, upon finding out about his true character, she had decided against the engagement-that mistake had caused an entire battle to be fought for her, because of her.
Then, she was being selfish and she realized her folly was that she was thinking too much about her self and not enough about her people. But, even now, was she not thinking selfishly? Because, now, she wanted to back out of her agreement with Aragorn, not because he was a bad man, but because...because she was in love with another.
"Susan?"
She looked over to see that, of course, Legolas was standing several feet away from her with the same concerned expression he always seemed to have when his gaze met hers. It was not until he spoke that she realized tears were rolling down her face and she could not force them to stop.
The queen looked at him for a moment before shaking her head, unable to confront him just then, and storming past him and down the stairs that led away from the castle on the hill.
"Susan!" He called after her, the sound of his footfalls on the stairs behind her caused her to try and move faster. "Susan, would you please stop!"
She felt his hand go to her shoulder and the queen automatically spun back towards him, collapsing against his chest and covering her tear stained eyes as she leaned into him. The elf stood stunned for only a second, now becoming more comfortable with coming in contact with the beautiful queen, and wrapped her tightly inside of his arms; he wanted nothing more than to make whatever pained her go away.
"Shh, it is going to be alright." Legolas told her as he ran a hand through her hair. "Everything will be alright."
"I doubt that." Susan let the words out in a gasping breath before taking another, deep, calming one. She moved away from Legolas, slowly, and looked up into his eyes with a smile that did not seem sincere playing across her face. "But thank you all the same." Susan paused as her blue eyes connected to the worried elf's. "I will be fine."
"Are you sure?" His words turn her that he would not be convinced even if she did reassure him that all was fine. "You can tell me, Susan. I give you my word that I shall try my best to stop whatever it is that causes you pain."
Susan's eyes widened at his statement. Did he not realize that this pain she felt was because of him? Did he not see that for once love was ruining a life instead of enriching it? The queen shook her head in his direction at the idiocy of it all. Love was creating conflict once again as it had when she met and realized her feelings for Caspian. Perhaps a life without love would be easier; of course, it would not seem complete but it would be simple.
Susan felt Legolas's gaze burn a hole through the top of her head and she was forced to look back up at his piercing eyes. "All is well, or at least, it will be in the end." The dark haired girl gave the man a slight smile before turning and beginning to walk away from him, only to be stopped a second later by a hand on her small wrist.
"Susan, do you not think that we should talk of what is going to happen? What is to become of me and what is to become of you…and Aragorn?"
His voice sounded pleading to Susan, causing her to pause and turn back to him. The queen nodded. "Yes, we should…but not now." Because if I do I do not know what will become of what I have left of my sense. She turned back around to walk away, making it several feet before Legolas's voice called her back to him.
"Then when?" His voice was no longer concerned and pleading but furious and desperate.
"Soon." She called over her shoulder before climbing back up the stairs to the Great Hall that was now beginning to settle. "When I can wrap my mind around the idea that my life is no longer my own." She whispered the words into the late night air, letting them carry off into the distance.
Susan Pevensie was no longer a girl with dreams-she knew she could not be anymore-she was a girl of logic and duty who would grin and bear whatever was to come despite how much she wished to fight it.
Susan was all situated, nice and warm, within Great Hall of the castle. A couple of the men had dragged out two long couches for Eowyn and herself and settled them nice and close to the burning fire. The men had occupy all of the bedchambers within the castle and, surprisingly enough, the only way for the two women to get privacy was by being out in the middle of a public room.
It was just before dawn and still Susan was wide-awake; how could anyone expect her to sleep when she had so much on her mind? From the room closest to the two, Susan could hear the sound of the door opening. Opening her eyes ever so slightly, she found that the man emerging was Aragorn. Quickly, she snapped her eyes closed again and hoped that he did not see that she was awake; it was too early and still too awkward for the queen to discuss anything with Aragorn.
Susan heard the sound him approaching the fire and then stoking it, creating a slight increase in warmth to spring forth. The man stopped for a mere moment, exchanging a few whispers that were so low that the queen's ears could not pick up the words they were saying. The conversation only seemed to start by the time in had finished with two words from Aragorn that were loud enough for Susan to hear.
"Sleep Eowyn." The man said before the sound of his steps sounded in the room in the direction that Susan assumed to be of the door. Nothing happened then for a while, just Susan's restlessness consuming her as she listened to the crackling of the fire.
There was a point, however, several minutes after Aragorn left, when Susan could not lie there any longer. The girl threw her legs over the side of the long couch and stood up quickly. She did not know where she was going to go all that she knew is that she had to get out of that room.
The queen took a quick look around before deciding that the only reasonable place to go was outside to avoid walking the others. So, Susan headed towards the outer doors, forcing her to walk quietly past the closest room that Aragorn had previously inhabited, but stopped short when she heard a soft voice come from in.
"Pippin! Put that down!" The voice-was it Merry's?-whispered angrily.
Susan raised an eyebrow but did not move toward the door; other men were in there and she would not be responsible for disturbing them…the two hobbits could be the ones who get in trouble.
She took another step to get outside.
"Pippin!" This time the voice was louder and Susan knew something was wrong. Instantly, she ran toward the door and threw it open.
It was filled with men, laying on beds and on the floor, and in the midst of all of serenity was Pippin: laying on the floor with the spherical object of Saruman's in his hands as he wreathed in pain.
"Pippin!" Susan cried, waking several of the men, before rushing over to him and grabbing the orb from the hobbit's small hands.
Instantly, a surge of pain rushed through her, sending some sort of image to her brain. It was of an eye, one that was on fire, and made Susan feel almost frightened and weak to look at it.
"I see you." It breathed out, if that were even possible for an eye to do. "You grow weaker as I grow stronger, Great Defender. You. Will. Die."
The image disappeared as quickly as it came to her vision. The pain ended and she fell to the floor, completely exhausted by the experience she had just had.
Strong arms caught her and their owner fell over with her.
Susan watched as the orb rolled across the floor of the room before stopping against the wall; not even a second later, Gandalf ran past her, a blur of white, and covered the object with a gray cloak.
"Fool of a Took!" The man shouted as he turned around to chastise Pippin even further; however, his face fell and took his anger with it.
The girl's eyes darted over to see what the aging man was looking at and saw something that terrified her completely: Pippin lied there, eyes wide and staring. The hobbit was dead? So soon after they had found him? This could not be possible.
Merry was hovering over his friend only until Gandalf pushed him out of the way and knelt before the hobbit. The graying man shook the boy several times until he realized that he would never react; then, he put his hand over Pippin's eyes before closing his own and beginning to chant.
Several seconds past before something happened: Pippin woke with a start, inhaling sharply in the process. The terrified looking hobbit's eyes went to Gandalf and then Merry as he fought for breath and then words. It was not until then that Susan let out a breath that she had not realized she had been holding.
"I-I" Pippin started, only to get cut off instantly by Gandalf.
"Look at me." Gandalf told him forcefully. Pippin's eyes flinted to Gandalf's and then Merry's and then Susan's. "Look at me!" Gandalf repeated and this time Pippin complied to his command. "What did you see?"
"I saw a white tree…in a marble courtyard…it was burning…" He lost his words as he became wrapped up in the memory of what saw. "And I-I-I saw him. I saw him."
Gandalf stared at him for a moment as if trying to figure out what he had said. Eventually, he nodded to Pippin and helped him to stand. The wizard's eyes darted around the room before they stopped and locked onto Susan's.
The queen's eyes burned under the intensity of Gandalf's gaze in a way she had not felt since they had first met in Rivendell. Susan did not understand what she had done but she would not look away. "Susan…you saw something too." It should have been worded as a question but they all knew that he did not need to ask to know the truth.
Whoever was holding on to her, helped her stand to better meet Gandalf's gaze. The queen simply nodded, not daring to try and conceal the horror she had seen when she had touched the orb.
"What did you see?"
Susan bit her lip, feeling that her vision was completely foolish to voice aloud. She turned to look around and saw that the man behind her was Aragorn. She paused and met his eyes; the man gave her a small smile and nodded to her reassuringly.
Susan turned back to Gandalf. "It's going to sound ridiculous but I saw…an eye. An eye that was surrounded by flames. It spoke to me…saying that it grew stronger as I grew weaker…that we would fail and die."
Gandalf's eyes widened. "He spoke to you? He addressed you and spoke directly to you?"
Susan nodded again. "Yes…why what does this mean? Who was that figure?"
Gandalf looked around to all of the men, seeming as if he were trying to give them strength and comfort, before returning his gaze to the woman. "My queen, you have just come face to face with Sauron…or, at least, what is left of him after his last defeat. He knows you now…you are no longer safe."
Susan tilted her head to the man. "I did not realize I ever was."
The room remained silent for a moment as Gandalf figured out their next move. "Alright, someone go and wake the king! We will meet in the Great Hall and discuss what we are to do now."
None of the men questioned his authority and began to move and fan out throughout the building to find and wake the rest of the men. Susan stayed put for a moment as she allowed the room to clear; Merry and Pippin came to stand by her side.
"Miss Susan, I am so sorry for what happened. If it was not for me you would still be safe." Pippin said, looking down at his feet the whole while.
"Pippin, do not think on it. All will be alright, you shall see." She gave the hobbit a one-armed hug. "Once everyone is awake we will figure all of this out… I mean, who knows? Perhaps you have helped in aiding the movement against Sauron? I promise all will be well."
The hobbit smiled up at her, visibly calmer.
Susan smiled down at him too.
She did not realize just then how wrong she was about everything being well; in fact, everything now was more impossible that it had seemed before.
I know, it's short, but I promise the next one will be long. I hope you enjoyed it though. Thank you so much for reading and please tell me what you think if you feel inclined!