Chapter 21: Nightmares

Thankfully, there was no relapse. Instead, over three more days the Doctor's speech progressively returned back to normal, and so did his dexterity. It was somewhat of a relief for him. Having the ability to rant was something this regeneration really couldn't cope without.

Brax had hung around, seemingly assuming the position of the Doctor's own shadow, keeping his eye on him. It almost felt to the Doctor like Brax wanted him to relapse so he could immediately swoop in and save him. The Doctor wasn't quite sure how he felt about that. Rose clearly had come to abide Brax again, but the Doctor wasn't quite so sure. Shooting him with a harpoon again to save his life was forgivable, but the fact the Doctor had stood there and listened to Brax belittle the human race to his face wasn't something the Doctor could just disregard. Maybe he was getting a little sensitive in his old age, he thought, yet the thought continued to linger.

Torchwood had been a little quiet, so the Doctor had returned to finishing the regeneration simulation machine, suddenly feeling quite motivated as soon as his dexterity had returned. He wasn't quite sure what had brought on the sudden determination to finish the machine, but he had a gut feeling that he knew he had to get Leah practicing.

Eventually, he finished it. With Rose's assistance he checked it was working, and thankfully this time it didn't short out the whole Hub. Once he'd checked the machine's connections a thousand times and tested it another hundred, he was finally confident enough in its safety to let his daughter have a go.

Brax arrived as the Doctor was finalising everything. 'Jack said I'd find you in here. What are you doing?'

'Regeneration simulation machine,' the Doctor replied.

'Really?' Brax asked.

The Doctor paused in his work, looking at his brother. 'It's for Leah, so she can practise regeneration. Theo too, when he's ready.'

'Oh. Good idea,' Brax replied. 'You really could have done with one of those when you were learning.'

Rose laughed. 'Did you just make a joke?'

Brax let a ghost of a smile appear on his usually quite stoic face. 'Perhaps,' he dismissed. 'Is it ready?'

'Yeah,' the Doctor said, nodding. 'I was just about to get Leah.'

'I will fetch her, I think she's in the vault playing with the Rubik's Cube.'

'Okay, thanks,' the Doctor said, and his brother left. The Doctor paused for thought.

'What?' Rose asked.

'Does he seem a bit … off to you?' the Doctor wondered.

'What d'you mean?'

'Ever since he came back it's like he's … playing a version of himself,' the Doctor mused.

'I don't understand.'

'It's like he's acting just to please me.'

'And you're surprised?'

'Pardon?'

'He said some really horrible things. He's probably regrettin' everythin' he said and he wants to make it up to you,' she pointed out.

'That's the problem.'

'What?'

'My fraternal bond is completely normal. If he's regretting anything he's not feeling it.'

'But that's good, isn't it?'

He shrugged. 'After everything that's gone between us you'd think something would happen to it. But no. It's completely normal.'

She thought about that. 'Maybe he's shut you off? I mean, just temporarily shut off the bond to you?' she suggested.

'Why would he do that?'

'Doctor, I know he's this logical person but he can't be completely emotionless. He's your big brother, he's gotta be way too embarrassed by knowing that you can feel what he's feeling.'

'I … suppose,' the Doctor muttered, just as the door opened and Brax came in with Leah, and the conversation ceased.

'Sleeping in the barn, again?' Braxiatel's voice asked in the dark.

The little Doctor choked back a sob and peeked out from under the blanket. There stood his brother, staring at him with his arms folded.

'Braxiatel, you came back.'

Braxiatel nodded. 'You know, Father is getting pretty frustrated with you. I mean. it's anyone's guess who he hates more at the moment, you or me.'

'I don't care about him,' the little Doctor cried.

'If you say so,' Braxiatel replied, unconvinced. He climbed up the ladder, and stood next to the bed. 'Your mother is saying you have nightmares. Is this true?'

The little Doctor buried his face under the blanket again.

'Well?' Braxiatel persisted.

'Yeah,' the little Doctor choked out.

'Well, sleeping in this scary old barn isn't really going to help, is it?' Braxiatel pointed out. 'I understand. You don't want the cousins to see you cry, do you?'

The little Doctor didn't replied, his face still buried under the blanket.

'I know what's happened. I know what they've done to you. But running away and hiding isn't going to help.'

'Running away always works,' the little Doctor replied quietly.

'Did it work last week when they threw you into the mine and locked the door and left you there?'

'I shoulda run faster,' the little Doctor replied, shaking.

'Look at me,' Braxiatel said.

The little Doctor didn't move.

'Look at me,' Braxiatel repeated, firmer.

The little Doctor reluctantly peeked his head back out from the blanket to look at his brother.

'You can't just cry and run away all the time,' Braxiatel said firmly.

'You sound like Father,' the little Doctor sobbed.

Braxiatel hesitated, his face falling at that. 'Do you know why you dream?' he suddenly asked. 'Have the hospitallers told you?'

'No,' the little Doctor muttered.

'So they haven't found out what's wrong with you?'

'No one tells me anything,' the little Doctor replied.

'You're pretty special, you know,' Braxiatel stated.

'I'm wrong,' the little Doctor corrected. 'Glospin told me I'm an evolutionary throwback and my brain isn't right.'

'I really hope you're not listening to Glospin,' Braxiatel said sternly. 'He came out of the loom the wrong way round, so he can't help speaking through his ass.'

The little Doctor laughed a little, and Braxiatel smiled.

'There's something abnormal with you, we know. But it doesn't have to be something bad,' Braxiatel said. 'No doubt they'll find a cure for you, but in the meantime, you have to remember that dreaming makes you special. You are one of the very few gallifreyans now who dream. I've never had a dream. I long to have what you have. Every time I close my eyes, to have some magical images appear. Yes, sometimes they are scary, but they also are good. So what I thought you should do is encourage the bad ones to fly away, then you are only left with the good ones.'

The little Doctor looked at him, confused, before Braxiatel reached into his pocket and pulled something out. It was a carved wooden trunkike. The little Doctor stared at it, wide-eyed.

'I hope you appreciate this, I had to go to the lowtown black market to get it,' Braxiatel said. 'I assume you know the stories. Carved trunkikes take away bad dreams in their claws and fly them far, far away.'

'That's just a story,' the little Doctor said.

'Of course it's a story, but there are many stories that are true,' Braxiatel countered, smiling at his little brother. 'Give it a try.'

The little Doctor reached out his hand and took the trunkike. Braxiatel widened his smile. The little Doctor gazed at him for a long moment.

'Thank you,' he finally said.

Braxiatel nodded.

Suddenly and without any apparent cause, something sparked under Braxiatel, and then he was abruptly on fire. He screamed a harrowing scream as the little Doctor watched, frozen with utter terror, as his brother began to melt before him …

The Doctor jerked awake, his eyes snapping open, wide and terrified. He gasped in air, panting, abruptly realising he was in the TARDIS in his bed, and Rose wasn't there.

He took a few moments to breath, thoughts rushing through his head. He'd just perfectly dreamt one of his memories, except Brax most definitely hadn't burst into flames originally.

He looked to his left, and saw the trunkike on his bedside table. He'd forgotten to give it to Leah. He took hold of it, flipping it over in his hands. 'Well, you worked well, didn't you,' he muttered sarcastically to the carving.

'Wonder if the Doctor's awake yet?' he suddenly heard Rose ask from beyond the door.

'Yeah, just getting dressed,' he replied, pushing the dream out of his head, placing the carving back on the table before getting up.

He arrived in the kitchen when Rose and Leah were. That surprised him – usually Brax was already there, stalking him.

'Where's Brax?' he asked.

'Torchwood in London, Martha needed him,' Rose replied. 'Oh, Jack wants to talk to you when you're ready. Rift gettin' some weird readings apparently.'

'You'd think he could sort that out on his own by now,' the Doctor mused, looking at Leah, who giggled.

'Toast or cereal?' Rose asked.

'Toast, please,' the Doctor replied.

Oh,' Rose said, sounding surprised. 'Okay.'

'What?' the Doctor asked, looking at her. '… Sorry, what did you just say?'

'I didn't say anythin',' she said.

'Sorry, thought you asked,' he said, shrugging slightly. 'Toast anyway, please.'

'Daddy, can we try the regeneration machine again?' Leah asked eagerly through a mouthful of cereal.

'Sure,' the Doctor answered, smiling.

She beamed. 'When?'

'Err, this afternoon?'

'Okay!' she said happily, finishing her cereal and rushing off. The Doctor watched her go.

'I wish you didn't have to put her through this,' Rose said suddenly.

'I know, but she has to learn,' the Doctor replied, looking back at her.

She turned, pausing in the toast-making. 'Um, what?'

'She has to learn or she'll have problems regenerating,' the Doctor clarified.

Rose was looking at him strangely. 'Are you feelin' all right?'

'Um, what?'

She moved to him, stooping to gaze in his eyes and check his forehead temperature. 'Have you taken your pregnancy medication today?'

'Not yet,' he said, confused.

'Go and take it, you'll feel better.'

'I'm fine,' the Doctor replied, puzzled.

'Just go and take it,' she said.

'Rose, I'll do it after breakfast, you know, like I always do?' he said.

She sighed. 'Okay,' she said, and gave him a cup of tea and some toast, taking the seat opposite. The Doctor could sense her boiling over slightly.

'I had the strangest dream,' the Doctor said, trying to change the subject to qualm her irritation. He knew from years of experience that he and Rose should never start the day with an argument. Things never went well after that. Several planets had nearly been felled in the wake of one of their arguments.

'Yeah?' she asked, not really sounding interested.

'I dreamt about the night Brax gave me the trunkike. Absolutely exactly how it happened.'

'Cool,' Rose said dully.

'Then Brax burst into flames and melted on the spot.'

'Nice.'

He sighed a little. '... And then you stripped naked, turned into a fairy, and danced the tarantella.'

'Great.'

He sighed again. Turned out they were already in an argument. 'Okay, what's wrong?'

'Nothin',' she said, getting up to retrieve the butter, but as she was turned away she spoke again, 'you think I'm an idiot, don't you?'

'You're a dumb human,' he stated in a deadpan voice, trying to get her to laugh.

Her reaction to that was nothing that the Doctor could have anticipated. She spun around, her expression somewhere between shocked, horrified, and hurt. Her voice was barely audible, 'what ...?'

He stopped, stunned. '... What?'

'... Why would you say that?'

'I was joking,' he said, confused. 'Calm down.'

She stared at him, looking so hurt and lost. Seconds later, she stormed out of the room.

'Rose!' he called, but already knew she wasn't coming back anytime soon. Somewhat puzzled, he chewed on his toast thoughtfully. She was probably just having a bad mood day, he reasoned. She'd come round later.

After breakfast, the Doctor headed out into Torchwood, where Jack was busy kicking the rift manipulator machine.

'What are you doing?' the Doctor wondered, stopping next to him with his hands in his pockets.

'It's giving us readouts that we know aren't real. Piece of sh–'

'Hitting is isn't going to help,' the Doctor interrupted.

'Works for most things,' Jack countered. 'And don't act all innocent, I've seen you kick the Tardis.'

'And weirdly enough, it's never worked,' the Doctor replied. 'Okay, tell me what's happened from the start.'

Jack sighed and handed him a clipboard. 'Readings for the past eight hours. They don't make any sense. What do you think?'

The Doctor checked the chart. The line representing the amount of feedback they were getting from the rift was looking like an outline of the landscape of the Rocky Mountains.

'Looks like the refractor's come loose,' the Doctor commented, and moved to the offending object. He checked it. 'Look.' He moved the antennae-like object with one finger from side to side.

'Oh,' Jack muttered. 'I swear to god I checked that.'

The Doctor whipped out his sonic, getting to work.

'What's happened with Rose?' Jack asked. 'She stormed out here all in tears.'

'I have no idea,' the Doctor confessed. 'I made a joke and she flew off the rails.'

'It was a pretty mean joke, Doctor,' Jack said.

'It wasn't that mean,' the Doctor protested. 'She asked me if I thought she was an idiot and I joked she was a dumb human,' he said, looking back up at Jack. 'That's not mean … right? It's not like I haven't joked about that before. She's always laughed.'

Jack frowned. 'She said you just called her a dumb human for no reason.'

The Doctor thought about that. 'I think she's conveniently forgetting the set-up to my punchline,' he replied, and finished the repair.

'So you're not in a pregnancy mood? I figured it was that.'

'I feel fine,' the Doctor replied, smiling at him.

'Good,' Jack replied. 'Hey, she's probably just woken up in a bad mood. If you wanna go and see her, she's at Jackie's.'

The Doctor chewed his lip thoughtfully, projecting a situation where Jackie would beat him to death with the nearest blunt object for upsetting her pregnant daughter. 'I'll let them get on with it,' he concluded, straightening up and slipping the sonic back into his pocket.

Jack smirked a little, clearing reading his thoughts. 'Well, feel free to leave at any time, cos there's nothing happening here.'

'I think I'd rather take my chances on dying of boredom than meeting Jackie,' the Doctor jested.

Jack's smirk widened. 'Okay.'

As had been the case for the past few days, absolutely nothing was happening for Torchwood. No alien invaders or rift activity. It was almost lunchtime, and Rose was still at her mum's. He must've really annoyed her, the Doctor mused.

He was so bored he was almost considering suggesting they all took a trip in the TARDIS to alleviate his boredom, when Gwen came to find him.

'Sorry, have you got a minute?' she asked.

'About seven hundred and twenty if nothing happens before I go to bed,' the Doctor replied idly, pausing in his boredom task of continuously opening and shutting his desk drawer for no reason whatsoever to look at her.

She smiled at that. 'My computer's not working.'

The Doctor jumped up. 'Lead the way,' he said. Gwen took him back to her station, where all of the monitors were dead. He whipped out the sonic and quickly scanned it. 'GPU is dead,' he said immediately. 'Hold on.'

He pulled out the base unit, opened the case and located the GPU. With another quick buzz it was fixed. He put it all back into place, rebooted the system, and the monitors sprang into life.

'Thanks,' Gwen said. 'I know this is really boring for you.'

'Most excitement I've had all day,' he assured her, checking the wires.

'Are you and Rose okay?' she asked.

The Doctor shrugged. 'I made a joke earlier and she didn't take it very well.'

'Yeah, she told me. You in one of your pregnancy moods?'

'I'm fine. I think she was in a bad mood since she woke up.'

'Really? She's been fine with me this morning before you two argued,' Gwen said.

'Oh, must just be me, then,' the Doctor jested. 'And I thought I was the one who was allowed to emotionally overreact these days.'

'I dunno, it was quite mean.'

'What did she tell you?' the Doctor wondered.

'That you called her a stupid human for no reason.'

'She's really got a selective memory,' the Doctor said. 'She set me up for a joke I've made a thousand times.'

'Maybe she didn't want to hear that joke at that time?' she mused.

'Oh no, that's not how she works,' the Doctor said, shaking his head. 'If she likes a joke and wants me to do it more, she grins with her tongue between her teeth, and shoots a joke back. If she wants me to be less cheeky, then she laughs and usually touches me like straightening my tie or something. If she doesn't want to hear it, she smiles and then nods a little without saying anything.'

Gwen smirked and took her seat. 'You've really got her totally figured out, haven't you?'

'Not completely,' the Doctor confessed. 'I'm still having trouble telling whether she wants barbeque sauce or brown sauce on her bacon sandwich.'

Gwen laughed. 'Oh, she'll come around. Well, if anything exciting happens here I'll let you know.'

'Please,' he said, and left back to his station.

Another hour of absolutely nothing passed. The Doctor was so hugely bored that he was flicking rolled up balls of paper into the bin. The only interruption to his work day had been Leah, bounding up to tell him she was going to Torchwood Tate. He waved her off, and resumed flicking the balls of paper into the bin.

'All right?' Jack asked, stepping up to him about twenty minutes later.

'I'm so bored,' the Doctor complained, spinning around in his chair.

Jack grinned a little. 'I just talked to Rose. She's still seriously annoyed at you.'

The Doctor sighed, and stopped spinning. 'Great.'

'You know, you don't have to be here. There's seriously nothing happening.'

'Where am I gonna go?' the Doctor asked seriously.

'Take a trip with Leah?'

'I can't take Leah and go without Rose. She'll break my arm, the mood she's in.'

'I'll tell her I ordered you,' Jack said. 'Say you're having some R and R to make sure you're in a better mood for her.'

'She's the one in a mood, not me.'

Jack sighed. 'Be reasonable. Clearly you think she's wrong and she thinks you're wrong. You resolve this by pretending that you were wrong, and then she's happy. Take Leah, have a trip, come back tomorrow.'

The Doctor took the transmat to Torchwood Tate to find his daughter. At quite the polar opposite to Cardiff, this Torchwood was absolutely brimming with activity. Martha and Mickey were chatting into a communicator at their stations, seemingly naming random London tube stations, Brax was saying a string of numbers and Leah was sitting at a desk, pressing the numbers that Brax was dictating. No one had noticed him arrive.

'Can I help?' the Doctor asked, stepping up to Martha and Mickey.

'Oh! Hello,' Martha greeted.

'Doctor,' Mickey acknowledged.

'Can you check the stacks?' Martha asked, pointing to another computer. The Doctor nodded and moved over to it, next to Leah.

'Hi, Daddy!' she said happily as Brax continued reading out numbers, nodding to greet his brother. Seth arrived, looking rushed and out of breath.

'Oh, hey Doctor,' he said, and looked at Brax. 'I'm ready.'

'Go, now,' Brax ordered.

Seth looked at the Doctor. 'You wanna come?'

With the day he'd had so far, the Doctor couldn't resist a bit of excitement. 'Yes,' he said immediately, despite knowing absolutely nothing about what was going on or where Seth was going. He finished the stacks.

'Can I come?' Leah asked eagerly.

'No,' the Doctor replied, heading to join Seth, letting Martha and Mickey put a load of equipment on him.

Leah jumped off of her chair and ran to him. 'Daddy, I wanna come!'

'I said no,' the Doctor repeated as Mickey stuck a comms unit on his ear.

'Frequency 4.9,' Martha told him and he quickly adjusted it. 'Have you got a torch?'

'Left it in my coat,' the Doctor said. Leah tugged insistently on his trousers as Martha darted off to get a torch for him.

'You never let me do anything!' Leah complained.

'Leah, we've talked about this …'

'Here,' Martha said, handing him the torch. 'Get to the tube station, right now.'

'Pohh,' Leah said, still tugging on his trousers and looking up at him with those big eyes that had a knack of reducing the Doctor to Leah's Plasticine.

He forced himself to look away from her, avoiding her adorable gaze. 'Don't "daddy" me, you're not coming.'

'Theta,' Brax called from across the Hub. 'Take her.'

'What?' the Doctor asked, stupefied.

'Yeah, take me!' Leah said eagerly.

'Is she goin' or not, cos we haven't got a lot of time!' Mickey said, already holding up another comms unit for the girl.

'Yeah!' Leah said, jumping up and swiping it from his hands. She put it on. The Doctor gave up.

'All right, but next to me at all times, okay?'

'Okay!' she said happily, as they both joined Seth and ran out of the door into the London street.