Hey everyone thanks for reviewing! I'll try to make this one less jumpy than the last chapter :) Maddie and Mila are 12 in this one, and Andrew is 2. Enjoy! P.S. This one is more Wemma centric and less about the kids, even though they're definitely in it :) Also whoever told me A Separate Peace was a good book, they were right! The Cliff Notes weren't that good so I read it and it's really good!! :) yayy haha
"Em, are you sure you want to do this?"
"I-I... I'm sure. I have to do this, Will, I-I just have t--"
"Em honey, you don't have to do anything, you know that right?"
"No, Will, I-I do have to do this b-because... I don't know, Will, but I need this. F-for me."
"Emma I don't th--"
"Will I need you to be there for me. And not let me b-back out or get scared, I need you to k-keep me strong because I know t-that I can't do this by myself," Emma pleaded, her eyes turning glassy. Even though she was forty four years old, Emma Schuester didn't look a day older that when her husband had first kissed her. Will wrapped her in a loving embrace and hugged her close, reassuring her.
Emma was right. She needed him to keep her strong through this. She needed to do it for herself, she needed closure. It was the only way to truly get over it, to face it again. "Okay, Em. I promise," Will whispered, kissing her forehead.
"Get a room," Maddie said, passing by her parent's bedroom. She tapped her foot and rolled her eyes. Will could see the buds of her iPod sticking into her ears, her red ringlets crazier than ever and poking beautifully out of her ponytail. Maddie was dressed in destroyed Abercrombie Bermuda shorts, a lacy tank top, and a zip up sweatshirt that said Hollister across the front. Her feet were clad in Converse, classic teen shoe attire, and Will couldn't help but smile. Maddie was becoming a teen in every sense and was growing up to be a gorgeous young girl. She might have a teen attitude to match, but Emma, ever the guidance counselor promised this too shall pass.
"You know," Maddie snapped her bubble gum. "If you two keep on messing around in here then we're never going to get to Virginia anyway, and apparently this vacation is 'going to give Mom closure' so we'd better get going. Not that I'm looking forward to it, or anything.
"Closure? What closure?" Mila asked as she passed gracefully by. Mila had taken up ballet as a little kid and it showed in every step she took. Maddie took the classes too, and excelled alongside her sister, but Maddie had done her best to look anything but the angelic ballerina. Maddie shrugged, "Something about Mom," and walked away.
Mila leaned against the doorway. "Want some help, Mom?" she asked, walking into the room. Emma took in her daughter's scoop neck shirt and sweater, high waisted floral skirt, and ballet flats. Sometimes, she wondered how Maddie and Mila could possibly be twins. It showed through in the small moments, but in times like these the girls couldn't be more different.
"Sure, sweetie, that'd be great," Emma smiled, "but I've got all my packing covered. Could you just go get Andy from his room? And I'm sure he'll want to bring his trains..."
"'Kay," the girl waltzed out of the bedroom. Will looked down lovingly at Emma and laughed, "Remind me again how we have twins..."
X
The car ride to Virginia was long, but Will never let go of Emma's hand. He knew she was scared. Terrified. She knew that he knew her better than anyone in the entire world. The summer heat seeped into the car, and the leather seats began to feel sticky with sweat. They needed to stop anyway to stretch their legs and go to the bathroom, so Will pulled into a rest stop.
"This is going to be funny," Maddie snickered as they climbed out of the car. Mila took in the disgusting conditions of the rest stop and its contents. There was a Cinnabon, and TCBY, and a McDonald's inside. She saw her mother cringe and look sadly up at her father. Mila truly felt sorry for her mom. She had problems, real problems and fears, and no one seemed to understand this except for her dad. I guess that's why she guessed her parents were still so in love, because her dad got to be the hero all the time, and her mom needed a hero all the time.
"Mommy I have to go pee-pee," Andrew wrinkled his nose and Emma quickly scooped the toddler. He had been chugging a juice box for the last twenty minutes in the car, and it was just a matter of time.
"I've got it, Em," Will smiled, taking Andrew into his firm grasp. Will knew that if Emma had one mortal enemy (that wasn't his ex-wife or Sue Sylvester) it would be public restrooms. At first, Will had thought she just hated them. Or that they grossed her out. Both of these things were true, really, but it was deeper than that. Emma feared them. They were a breeding ground for germs and diseases.
Bathrooms had lots of a certain germ called "e coli". Emma really hated that one in particular, it was in poop and made people very sick. Emma had never eaten a a fast food restaurant, but once she heard about the e coli scares throughout them, she made her husband swear off of them as well. He complied gladly, they had always grossed him out anyway. And based on Emma's friendship with their colleague Ms. Hoffmeyer, Will knew this was no such germ that his wife planned on coming in contact with any time soon.
A few minutes later, Will and Andrew emerged from the Men's restroom. Emma looked relieved as Andrew opened up his palm and pushed them towards his mother. Will chuckled as Andrew rubbed the dollop of sanitizer on his palms, thinking about what a good mother Em was, despite her problems.
X
Finally, the Schuester family pulled up to 110 Willsmore Lane in the heart of Virginia. Will could imagine Emma growing up here, in the little rancher with her family. Sure he had been to Virginia to visit the Pillsburys, but Maddie and Mila hadn't come since they were ten, and Andrew had never been at all. Emma was pregnant with him the last time they had come to visit.
"Oh come in, come in!" Amelia Pillsbury squealed, wrapping her grandchildren in a warm hug. She smiled up at Will and hugged him, too. "Emmie sweetheart! I haven't seen you in ages!" she kissed her youngest child on the cheek and pulled the family into the kitchen. Bo Pillsbury was slapping peanut butter and jelly sandwiches-- a family favorite-- together with ease and passing them out to the hungry kids.
"No thanks," Maddie said, pushing her plate away. "I'm still a little woozy from the car ride."
"Are you okay hon? Do you need to go lay down or--"
"I'm fine, Gramma," Maddie said quickly, looking absently into space. Emma wondered what she could possibly be daydreaming about, but eventually gave up. Maddie had been nearly silent for the entire drive, and Emma was surprised all of her elaborate daydreams weren't all used up already.
It was two in the afternoon when Bo said kindly, "Emmie, if you want to go today, you'd better go soon. It's already hot and you don't want to be there too late... the hotter it gets the more prominent the... the smell is." Emma had told her father earlier what she intended on doing during their quick vacation, and Bo had offered his full support. Sure, he didn't think it was a very good idea, but Emma was the guidance counselor. She was an expert and minds and closure and fears and stuff, so he guessed she knew exactly how to get past her own.
Emma nodded, and Will wrapped his arm around her gently. She was anxious and scared, unsure of what was going to happen that day. Maybe she would come back a changed girl, maybe she wouldn't. But she knew that this was something she had to do to find out. "Alright," she whispered finally, then, a little louder, "Mom, could you watch Andy while we're out? I-I don't think it's a good idea to bring him." Mrs. Pillsbury nodded and smiled down at her grandson who played happily on the kitchen tiles with his Thomas The Train toy set. "Maddie, Mila are you guys coming?" Will asked his daughters who were currently gossiping at the kitchen table.
"Sure," Maddie said. "Sounds fun." Mila elbowed her sister, "fun" was not exactly the best word choice, but nodded in agreement. Forty five minutes later, Emma, Will, Maddie, and Mila pulled up at Johnston's Dairy Farm-- The Best Dairy For Miles Around! Emma gulped. Maybe this hadn't been a good idea, not here, not today... Was she ready to face this place?
"You can do this, Mom," Maddie said finally, seeing her mother become paler and paler in the face. "You're ready." Emma was a little shocked. Maddie was the more moody daughter, the quieter and more opinionated child in the family. These small sentences were compassionate and encouraging, which Emma knew that her daughter was underneath, deep down somewhere. They were all the elder redhead needed to know that Maddie was right. If her daughter could find it in her moody, almost-teenager self to encourage Emma, Emma could find it in herself to be strong.
Her floral Wellies squelched in the mud and Will grabbed her hand. "You've got this, Em," he whispered, kissing her cheek. Emma was really, really grateful for a guy like Will Schuester to be in her life at that second. She always was, but there was something about Will that made Emma feel lucky every single day. Even though she knew that he was hers, and that the shining band on his finger promised that, but she still felt a surge of happiness in her stomach that followed each gesture of kindness and love.
She was a lucky, lucky girl.
X
Emma recognized the farmer, much older now of course, immediately. His tanned skin now was wrinkled, and his blondish hair had turned gray. His beard had salt and pepper flaking it now, but this was certainly Mr. Bill Bryant, the same Bill Bryant that had fished her out of the runoff lagoon to her left thirty some years before. He recognized her, too. "Oh my Lord... Emma Pillsbury?" he asked, astonished.
She nodded, her brown eyes huge. Will came to her rescue, again, and extended his hand. The farmer had obviously noted Emma's latex gloves and Germ-X portable bottle in her pocket. "Hi, I'm Will Schuester. We arranged for the private tour today?"
Mr. Bryant nodded. "I... I understand this isn't the, err, easiest thing to handle for Ms. Pillsbury at the moment, but as soon as I heard that you all were coming--"
"It's fine, really," Will assured the man who was obviously nervous. During the yogurt tasting, when the twins had pulled Emma off someplace, the man came up to Will. In a hushed tone he asked, "S-She never recovered, did she? When I pulled her outta that runoff, the kid was still, totally. She was sobbing and vomiting but the kid just wouldn't move and she got all stiff and stuff. Garrett and Bo and Amelia have been back to get things occasionally. But they don't like to talk about it, about what happened."
Will swallowed. "She's getting better, really. She's OCD and Mysophobic, but she's getting better. She says it's the smell that really made it hard to forget." Will's eyes grew sadder. He hated talking about what happened to Emma, but in a way, he was glad. He wasn't happy that Em got hurt in any way, no, that was his worst nightmare. But what happened that day at the farm made Emma his Emma. Her Mysophobia was something that Will loved about her. He had once told Rachel, sixteen at the time, that the things you hated most about yourself would be the things that someone, a special someone, would love best about you. And that proved true with he and Emma. Sure, her problems had gotten in the way a little at first. When they attempted sleeping together for the first time, Em had run crying from his apartment.
But gradually, he'd begun to make her better. And she forgot about germs whenever she was with him or their family. Fears like that had made Emma the wonderful woman she was, and though Will never wanted to see her hurting to scared, he doubted he would go back and change what had happened if he could.
"I always felt bad about what happened," Mr. Bryant said. "But I'm glad she's finally coming back. We've all been waiting, we knew one day she we'd see Em again." The farmer chuckled, Will smiled.
X
Maddie and Mila were walking with their parents now. Bill Bryant led them past the cows and the warehouse, then suddenly stopped. Emma let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding. "A-are we...?" she asked, knowing they would understand. She clung to Will's arm for dear life.
"Yes," Bill said finally. "We're coming up on the... the runoff lagoon. It smells a little," he added, nodding to the twins who had never before faced the stench, and to Will, who'd only heard about it. Emma looked at Will, terrified.
"Honey," he whispered, "I'm not going to let anything bad happen to you. We're here, I've got you." She nodded.
"Thanks, Will. I-I... I don't know w-what I would do if--"
"Shh. Don't think about it, then. You'll never have to worry about me not being here, Em," he whispered, kissing her gently. She gulped and then smiled, trying to be brave.
The family approached the runoff. It was disgusting to look at, filled with brown poop and disgusting red swirls that Will did not even want to think about. Chunks of other things bobbed at the top. Emma closed her eyes, counted to ten, and forced herself to look over the edge. The overwhelming urge to vomit took over her, and she tried to gulp it down.
"It's okay, Mom," Mila said, taking her mother's hand. "Just … count to ten okay? Like Ms. Greene told you to do, remember?"
Emma managed a smile. Ms. Greene was a phobia counselor who tried to help people get over their fears. One day last year, Emma and the girls had gone to one of her seminars at the local community center. Counting to ten was a trick that Ms. Greene promised never failed you. Emma did.
Ten long seconds later, Emma popped her eyes open. The runoff looked disgusting from where she stood, feet away. It was surrounded by a pristine white picket fence. Despite the filthy conditions of the rest of the farm, the fence was immaculate. Emma smiled, then she noticed one dark scuff mark on one of the posts. It was near the middle of the post, high enough that you would have to have climbed the fence to reach its place. Emma gulped. She remembered climbing the fence all too clearly, she remembered the awful feeling of her foot dragging along its wood as she fell into the runoff, feet below.
"Em, honey, is... is that where you fell?" Will asked.
She nodded, blinking back tears. Emma knew her Mysophobia wasn't going to go away in just one visit to the farm. She had finally faced her fears, but she knew it wasn't going to happen like that-- where they magically dissolved after over thirty long years. Emma swallowed the growing lump in her throat and decided that this was it, she had to be brave. Being brave, though, was harder than it looked. This was the very place all of her childhood hopes and dreams had come to a screeching halt. Emma felt like she was shrinking. Maddie held her hand, and Will held the other. She let herself take one last look into the depths of the runoff lagoon. She wished she'd never ever seen this place, wished she'd never fallen over the edge.
She liked to think she had fell, even though it wasn't the truth.
"I think we should go now," she said quietly. She heard her Wellies squish the mud as they walked to the gate.
"Come again!" Bill Bryant called out to them, knowing that maybe, just maybe they would. He hoped so. Ever since he saw Garrett Pillsbury push his little sister into his runoff thirty some years ago, Bill had always hoped she'd come back. He had been friends with Bo Pillsbury for years and still was. They had been close with the family, including doe-eyed Emma, since the day the family moved into town from Ohio. The little girl had come to the farm for her birthday, and her dad had buffed it up to be a huge ordeal. Apparently, the little kid had been dreaming of being a dairy farmer for a few months. The whole day had come crashing down when Garrett pushed her in. Only Bill and the family had seen it happen, and the town didn't need to know that little detail. The town still didn't all they knew was that the littlest Pillsbury fell into the Johnston's runoff one afternoon and was "the crazy one" ever since.
Bill remembered how the town was bustling with the news. It was, after all, one of the smallest towns in Virginia, and everyone knew everybody else's business.
Did you hear that Red Pillsbury fell into the runoff at Johnston's?!
Or
Yeah! The little Pillsbury girl fell into the runoff lagoon!
Who?
You know, the little redhead with the Bambi eyes?
Oh the poor dear!
And so on. He had never seen the girl again, except for today. He hoped she'd come back. He'd always had a soft spot for the little girl who had her whole life ruined in one small moment.
X
Will lay awake in the Pillsbury's guest bedroom, Emma in his arms. She was awake, too, and he finally whispered, "Em?"
"Yeah, Will?"
"Thanks."
"F-for what?" she asked, confused.
"For being you, I guess. For being brave today... It made me want to smash that fence, everything, just to see the spot where you fell. But I'm sort of glad I got to see it. It makes me feel like you I know you a little better. But Em? I don't think I would change it, what happened, even though I-I... I hate to see you scared."
"Why? Will, if I could change w-what, what happened to me that day--" her voice cracked and suddenly she was crying, all of the thoughts she'd kept bottled up for so long finally escaping, free into the Virginia wind.
"Shh, baby... Emmie, honey, it's okay..." he ran his fingers through her hair and kissed her forehead. He loved her so, so much. "Em, I wouldn't change that day because it brought me you. You would have never been a guidance counselor, much less a beautiful one in crazy Lima, Ohio, if you hadn't fell in that lagoon. Well, you'd still be beautiful, or course," Will felt her blush. "But I never would have met you, or got to be your Prince Charming. And sometimes, a lot of times, what people hate most about themselves is the thing someone else is going to love best. I... I love you for a lot of reasons, honey, really. But you being scared of germs has just brought me that much closer to you, has made you that much more loveable. You wouldn't be my Emma if you had never fallen in that day, and even though I still would have found you somehow... I love you just the way you are. And I wouldn't change one thing about you, even if I could... because I've never seen someone more perfect than you."
Emma felt tears slip down her cheeks. "W-Will I..." he kissed her before she could finish her sentence, and when she finally pulled away, she nuzzled closer into him until if he was holding her any closer, they'd surely break into a million pieces. Emma liked the weight of his arms on her, the way that when he held her, no germs could penetrate the force that surrounded her. "Will?" she whispered, hours later, when she was sure he was asleep.
"I don't think I would change it, either. I-I... I don't falling in. It didn't ruin my life... b-because in the end... it brought me to you..."
He kissed her forehead. "I love you, Emma Schuester." Will's voice filled the dark room with warmth, and she let his words hang in the air until she wondered if they'd even been said at all. But it didn't matter, she felt the words and the thoughts surrounding her anyway. Sometimes, when you really mean something, you don't have to say it. People just know.
Love, love, love... Aw. This chapter had a little tad of drama and a little tad of fluff, which is a really good balance, I think. Next one should be up soon and I've been planning it for a while! Is it okay if the next few chapters revolve more around the twins? (Of course there Will be Wemma goodness, obviously in them) Because I got this idea and my imagination sort of went wild with it... haha. Expect drama!!!!!! But cute drama, nothing bad!