Disclaimer: South of Nowhere and the characters affiliated with it belong to Tom Lynch and The N. I own nothing but my own plot twists.

A/N: So last chapter was pretty depressing, so I think you might like this chapter to lighten things up...a little bit at least. Also I just finished a one-shot called Change, so check it out :)

-Thank you to my lovely readers and reviewers!!!!

-

Chapter 21: Out of the Blue

"When something is pure

how can people just say we're not meant to be?

And when something is true

how can people just keep me away from you?"

Aly & AJ

-

During my time of wall gazing, I absently heard the doorbell ring. Even though I hadn't left my room in two days, my mom still hurriedly raced to the door, as if convinced I might find random motivation to leave my cave to open the door and break free.

"What do you want?" I heard my mom say 'sweetly.'

"I'm here to see Spencer." My heart stopped as I heard Ashley's voice and I quickly got up and went to the top of the stairs.

My mom held the door with one hand, apparently ready to slam it at any given point. "I told you to stay away."

I silently begged Ashley to look up at me. My voice wasn't working, so I prayed telepathy somehow would.

Ashley looked up at me as if hearing my thoughts. "Spencer," she whispered quietly, our eyes meeting for the first time in three days, even though it felt like forever.

My mom turned towards me. "Go back to your room, Spencer," she ordered.

I ignored my mom's request. "I'm so so sorry," I told Ashley, wanting nothing more than to run down and hug her.

Ashley shook her head and gave me a small smile. "Don't say that Spence. Ever." It was horrible hearing her use my nickname. It only served to break my heart more. "It's gonna be ok," she promised.

I prayed it wasn't an empty one, a false hope. We stared at each other for several moments, conveying so much with our locked eyes. Finally I broke the stare as I made up my mind up.

I walked down the stairs, feeling my heart beat faster with every step that brought me closer to Ashley. My mom stepped in between us. "Spencer go upstairs. You are forbidden to have anything to do with this girl!"

"This girl?" Ashley scoffed. "I am still in the room and I do have a name, Paula," she spat out. It fell on dead ears.

"Don't do this Mom," I begged. I just needed to hold Ashley, to breathe in her scent and know that everything really would be ok.

"I'm not the one who is doing anything wrong Spencer."

"God Paula, can't you see that you are killing her?" Ashley ran her hands through her hair.

"Me!? You are the one who made her this way," my mom pointed accusingly at Ashley.

Ashley glared at her for a second before turning to me. "I just opened her eyes." Her voice softened. "Her heart. Now if you could just open your eyes and open your mind."

"Why can't you accept me?" I pleaded weakly.

"Because this isn't you," she said adamantly. "You're confused and- and…and experimenting, that's all."

"I'm not that one in denial Mom, you are. I love her and I just want to be with her."

My mom gasped and put a hand up to her mouth. "Don't you ever say that again! Glen has told me stories about her. She's not right for you."

Ashley intervened. "And I suppose that's for you to decide? Not Spencer?"

My mom crossed her eyes defiantly. "It is when Spencer can't decide for herself."

I didn't even try to fight the tears. "It kills you that I'm gay…that I don't fit into your Hallmark life. You think I like knowing you can't accept me? Do you think I woke up one day and decided, 'Hey you know what, I'm going to be gay. That'll really set Mom off!' ?"

I paused and took a deep breath before continuing. "I wanted to tell you for so long, but I'm glad I didn't, because it gave me that much more time to be with Ashley. And no matter what happens now, you can't take that back." I didn't know where my confidence came from, but I wasn't going to question a good thing.

"Spence," Ashley smiled at me and moved past my mom and hugged me tightly. "Well be ok." She squeezed me tighter.

"I just want to be with you," I whispered to her, wondering how I survived three days without her- without this.

I felt myself being pulled back. "That's enough. You need to go Ashley," my mom again ordered.

Ashley gave me a defeated look and nodded. "I came to give you your present, Spence." She held up the small gift. "Sorry it's late."

"It's ok," I choked out, giving her a watery smile. My mom took the gift with surprising gentleness and held the door open wider for Ashley.

"I guess I'll see you later," Ashley said with a final look at me, and then she was gone, taking my heart with her.

My feet managed to take me back to my room, where I exhaustedly fell to my bed. I looked longingly towards my window, wondering if a two story jump would be fatal. And if not, wondering how far I could drag myself with two broken legs before I was caught.

I quickly crossed out that option as I realized that not only would I be further delayed from seeing Ashley, but I would be hospitalized, meaning I'd be spending even more time with my mom, and I knew no amount of morphine would trump that.

A light knock drew my attention to the door where my mom now stood. "Spence?" she said hesitantly, shifting my gift between her hands nervously.

"Just set it down," I croaked out as I turned my attention to my teddy bear.

"That's a cute bear," my mom attempted small talk.

"Ashley got it for me," I said shortly, feeling pleased as her eyes widened.

It was silent after that, and had I not felt her weight on my bed, I would have thought my mom had left. I saw her play with her fingernails, inwardly debating with herself before finally saying, "It's not right."

I looked up at her and gave her a hard look. "You're right," I agreed. "This isn't right," I gestured to her.

"I just want you better," she said softly.

I stared at her incredulously. "I'm not sick, Mom, I'm gay."

She hesitantly picked at the bow on the wrapping paper. "Well once Ashley is gone you'll-"

"I'll what?" I cut her off. "I'll change my mind? I didn't choose this. God, after seeing what happened, why would I?"

She acted like I hadn't spoken. She was in her "blame everything on Ashley" zone. "She's pushing us apart."

I scoffed, "Ashley? No, Mom, you are. This whole time it's been you. YOU got a job and moved us here. YOU are having problems with Dad. YOU can't accept that the reason everything is falling apart is YOU." Honoring my mother was not on my to-do list. I wanted her to feel a fraction of how shitty I was feeling.

I slowly brought a hand up to my stinging cheek. The slapping noise was still resounding in my head. She slapped me! My mom had never hit me before.

She raised a hand to her mouth, obviously as surprised as I was. "Spencer, I…"

"Leave!" I breathed out through my tears.

"I didn't mean…God I-" she tried again, flinching in hurt as I shrugged off the hand she had put on my shoulder.

I grabbed my bear and turned on my stomach, pulling a pillow over my head to block her out. She took her cue and left, leaving me to my thoughts, tears, and regrets.

Hours later I looked over to the nightstand where the present sat. I maneuvered myself until I could grab it, cradling it gently as if it were precious china. The colorful wrapping ripped as I tore into the gift, finally making me feel something akin to excitement.

I laughed as I saw the card she had picked. It had three well built, hot guys in Speedos on the front. On the inside it read, 'With these guys here, why would you want to waste your birthday crying?' while the song It's My Party played.

On the left side of the card was a note Ashley had written.

Spence, I know how much you'd appreciate the card. I saw it and immediately thought of you. Now you can live your fantasy every time you look at this card. You are welcome.

I laughed hard for a few moments. God she was too much. She always managed to cheer me up. I turned to the DVD I had opened up and put it in the player.

"Ok, so even though I'm filthy rich and gorgeous-" I laughed, "I couldn't think of what to buy you. You are freaking hard to shop for. I mean I looked all over and couldn't find a Church-Clothes-R-Us anywhere."

She smiled at her own corny joke. "Then it came to me. Ok, I lied, so I asked Chelsea…and Clay, and Glen, and your dad…and when that didn't work, I asked Jeeves. They don't lie about him, he really knows his shit." I smiled again and laughed, shaking my head at her craziness. "Anyway, so I bought you some flowers- I know, I about threw up from the cheesiness. But…since I forgot to water them-" she dropped off, letting me know they had wilted.

"-so then I decided to write you a song and sing it. You know," she said shyly, "since you've never heard me play before. So here it goes." She gave a pretty nose crinkling smile. "Oh, and it's called 'Until Then.' Ok, here it goes. No, for real this time. Ok," she breathed nervously and took a deep breath before beginning.

.

"September twenty second seemed like an ordinary day

But little did I know that it wouldn't end that way

I'm glad that things don't always end the way that they begin

I remember (remember) the twenty second of September

Because my life didn't start until then

.

I can't pick my favorite memory, because in my mind they all stick out

You would walk into the room and I'd forget what I was thinking about

My heart would just stop beating, but I couldn't pinpoint exactly when

But I remember (remember) the twenty second of September

Because my heart didn't start beating until then

.

People would constantly tell me that we would never last

That I would never change my ways and let go of my past

That no one could ever tame me and I wouldn't let any one in

But I remember (remember) the fifth of December

Because I didn't know how to love until then."

.

Her beautiful voice finished the last stanza and her expert fingers strummed the final cord. "Ok, so there you go. I hope you liked it. And even though Hallmark probably had a field day with the romanticism of it all, I meant every word."

"Ok, so I guess I can explain some of the lyrics, and not just because I need more time on this DVD." She gave the camera a pointed look, causing me to laugh again. "September 22nd we've talked about. That's the day we met. And December 5th, that's the day I realized I loved you. You probably didn't even know you did anything different- and maybe you didn't- but I fell in love all the same."

She put the guitar in its case and faced the camera again. "I was upset because my mom was getting on my nerves more than usual- she apparently decided to take herself out of running for Mom of the Month." Ashley laughed bitterly. "Anyway, so I text you and told you I was upset, and you helped cheer me up with your weird Spencer humor." She genuinely laughed.

"-and then a knock at my door revealed you. Well, and Ben and Jerry," she added with a smile. "All we did was talk, and when you hugged me and whispered it would be ok, I truly believed it for the first time in my life. And I knew I wanted to feel that safe every day. I knew with you I could feel that way every day. And just like that I was in love."

"I love you Spencer, forever." Ashley gave a loving smile to the camera. "I hope my awesome speech and song make up for the tardiness. Bye!" She leaned in and gave a dramatic kiss to the camera lens.

I smiled happily as I turned off the TV. I knew I had fallen even more in love with Ashley. I didn't think it was possible to feel any stronger for Ashley than I did already, but the beautiful brunette never ceased to surprise me.

Despite my wonderful gift and the laughter that accompanied it, sadness still flowed through. How could anyone think that being with some one like her was wrong? How could my mom not see through Ashley's tough exterior like I had? It was people like my mom that made Ashley put up those walls. It was any wonder I was able to break them down.

A noise at my window interrupted my thoughts. Ashley? I dared myself to hope.

"Spence you there?" Ashley whispered from outside.

"Ashley?" I asked as I approached the window.

"Nah, a burglar," she retorted.

I snorted with laughter and opened my window to help her in. "You're one fine looking burglar."

"Oh you?" she asked as I stepped over to her. "Damn, wrong house." She walked back over to the window, only to have me pull her back and meet her lips in a kiss

She kissed me back passionately, her mouth opening to accept my tongue. "God Spence, I missed this so much. Missed you so much." I put my hands on her hips and nodded my agreement as I pressed into her more.

We broke apart and rested our forehead together as we held each other tight, both of us afraid to lose contact. "I hated not seeing you," I whispered to her cheek.

"Me too," she nodded lightly. "It's been torture not seeing you. Not hearing you. Not touching you." She stroked my face lovingly.

I grabbed her hand and led us to my bed to lie down. "Tonight you can. Tonight time stands still." I kissed her gently.

"Mm," she contently agreed, closing her eyes. We laid in silence for a few moments, basking in each others presence and love.

"So I watched my birthday gift," I said softly.

Ashley turned over onto her stomach and hid her face into my side in embarrassment. "Yeah?"

I ran a hand through her soft hair. "I loved it. It was the best gift I've ever gotten," I told her sincerely.

She turned back on to her side and smiled at me. "I'm glad. You deserved it."

"And my song," I kissed her cheek. "You have such a beautiful voice. You are so talented."

Her smiled widened. "Thanks. It's easy to sing and write about something you love," she shrugged.

"And do you love me?" I questioned with a nudge of my shoulder into hers.

"Hmm," she debated with a pensive look. "Yeah I do," she laughed as I hit her arm playfully. She pulled the chain of my necklace. "You sleep in it?" she asked sweetly.

I nodded and put my hand over hers. "I like having you close to my heart."

"Spence," she smiled. "I love you. So much." She gave me sweet kiss which I happily returned.

I goofily smiled as we broke a part and stared into her eyes. "I love you too, Ash. Nothing my mom does will change that," I promised whole-heartedly,

She kissed me again and wrapped her arm around my waist as she rested her head in the crook of my neck. She placed a light kiss there and I shivered in delight. "You like that?" she asked huskily, her warm breath tickling my neck.

"Yeah," I moaned out, arching into her instinctively.

"Mm, you smell so good," she purred into my neck, continuing to place feather light kisses there.

"Ash," I begged desperately.

She lifted her head slightly. "Yeah Spence?" she asked, her voice even raspier than before.

"Don't tease," I softly pleaded, pulling her face up so our lips could meet.

She smiled into the kiss. "Yes ma'am." She lightly bit my lower lip, making me groan.

I rolled over and moved so I was straddling her, our bodies fully connecting. I felt her moan her approval, the sound sending heat straight to my core.

"God Spence, you never manage to stop surprising me."

My breath caught as her hands ran from my thighs to slip underneath my shirt. "Good thing?" I managed out.

"Fuck yeah," she answered quickly before claiming my lips once again. I moaned under the wonderful assault. It all felt amazing. The way her tongue danced with mine, the way her hips rose to mine causing my center to burn even hotter, the way her soft hands left trails of fire wherever they went.

We heard footsteps and broke apart quickly as we remembered our last encounter with mysterious footsteps. "Shit," I panicked, "what do we do?"

"Act natural?" Ashley supplied unhelpfully and received an eye roll from me.

Deciding for us, I quickly pushed Ashley off the bed, shushing her 'What the hell!?' that was angrily whispered

"You ok Spencer?" my dad asked as he poked his head through the door.

"Y-yeah fine." I gently kicked Ashley's hand that was running up my calf.

"I heard you moaning. Were you having a bad dream?"

I blushed in mortification, extremely grateful for the darkness. "Yeah, it was the clowns again," I lied, hoping that reminding him of an old recurring dream would help convince him of the lie.

He laughed quietly. "Ok honey, well sleep tight. And remember, clowns don't have that big of a spoon in real life to eat you with."

"Night Dad." I silently breathed a sigh of relief as he began closing the door.

"Night Ashley," he called out through the crack. BUSTED!

"Night Mr. C," Ashley laughingly answered from the floor. My dad smiled again and closed the door softly.

"Sorry I pushed you off," I said with a guilty look as I pulled her back on the bed.

"It's all good. Though I have to say, I much prefer your dad's reaction to us than your mom's."

I laughed and pushed her gently. "Well both are mood killers for sure."

Ashley gave me a seductive look. "You a-mean you don't a-still a-want me?" she said in a poor Italian accent.

I laughed loudly. "Go to sleep, Mario."

She laughed and then looked at me seriously. "I'm just glad I'll finally be able to sleep." She gave me a significant look, leaving me know doubt what she was saying.

I smiled and nodded. "Yeah, me too," I whispered. "I love you, Ash."

"I love you too, Spence." She began threading her fingers through my hair, and I quickly fell asleep, finally complete again.

Thus began our nightly ritual. Ashley always left early so she could get ready for school…and mostly to avoid my mom. My dad didn't ever bring up our sleeping arrangement up, but he always gave me a look to remind me that he knew.

I didn't care that he knew, but he could have at least let me lock my door. No, not for that reason, I just didn't want a repeat performance of my birthday if my mom walked in. I'm sure Ashley didn't either considering she was the one who was shoved out the door.

Mom finally allowed me to go back to school after I continually told her that I'd never be able to catch up. I knew playing the failing card would convince her.

I was just glad she didn't have me transferred. Apparently she forgot that Ashley and I could find ways to see each other. Apparently she also forgot that Ashley and I had class together and that we both knew how to use hall passes. But hey, I wasn't going to complain about her senile tendencies- it worked out nicely for me.

My mom just didn't realize that she couldn't stop us. Couldn't stop this. I just wished she would have given up trying.