Snippet 21/Challenge 5

Salem Gives Up Evil?!

Genre: Humor

Pairs: Implied Bitch and Bastard

Parody: RWBY

AU-Type: Canon-eqsue AU

Tags: It sucks to be Cinder, Anti-Villian!Salem, Trollem, Ozpin is confused, Peaceful?Remnant, ButtMonkey!Adam, It sucks to be in the White Fang

Cinder Fall, Mercury, and Emerald were at a sleepover with Teams RWBY and JNPR. They were all gathered in the AV Room flipping through television channels. Ozpin and Glynda were in the back row watching along having nothing better to do.

"Ugh, what happened to television? All the animated shows so far are either reboots or complete trash." Glynda whined having seen one of her favorite shows as a child rebooted.

"This is why I go online for anime." Nora mumbled flipping past Loafwinners using the remote. "Maybe the news has a cool documentary or something

On the news, Lisa Lavender was going on about a White Fang riot, but the reporter was about have an unexpected guest. The door to the studio was kicked open as Lisa looked to see a scary sight.

"I…uh…." Lisa said spooked.

The camera was turned to reveal Salem, the Queen of the Grimm.

"Oh, don't lose your nerve now, my dear." Salem said with a smirk.

Cinder's jaw dropped, and Ozpin spilled his coffee on Blake's head. Salem strode plopping down in the chair next to Lisa.

"Who and what the hell are you?" Lisa said shuddering.

"Ladies, gentlemen, boys and girls, and that technicolor rainbow in-between, I am Salem. You may remember me from all the Grimm attacks that I cause. Yes, I am the mistress all things Grimm. But that's not why I'm here. I'm here to make an announcement!" Salem said making her introduction.

Everyone was on the edge of their seat wondering what was going to happen.

"As many don't know, I've been at war with Ozpin and his huntsman for years. Many lives lost and the like. I'm here to say that I'm done." Salem said flatly. "I tire of this war. Making Grimm, commanding my followers, killing huntsman. It's boring to me."

Cinder looked mortified.

"Wait, so you're not going to make any more Grimm?" Lisa asked.

"Well, the Grimm can breed to produce more." Salem waved off.

"So, why else are you leaving this war?" Lisa inquired curiously.

"My followers are driving me nuts! Ozpin at least has hundreds of people at his side to swap out. I have to have the most annoying people in my group. Tyrian's crazy and tends to please himself using my underwear while watching me shower, Hazel whines about his sister and how Ozpin's responsible, Dr. Watts is obsessed with his mustache, Adam's a hypocritical nuisance thinking the White Fang working with me will get them Faunus rights, and Cinder's a freaking brownnoser acting a supervillain from a cheap Saturday morning cartoon!" Salem ranted clearly stressed out.

RWBY, JPNR, Ozpin, and Glynda promptly glared at Cinder who was sweating.

"I swear she acts like I'm going to make her my right-hand woman when I'd rather surrender to Ozpin than do it." Salem ranted sipping at her flask.

Cinder was heartbroken.

"Besides, I had goals and other aspirations before I even started this pointless war with Ozpin. I could be doing better things with my time. Besides, Ozpin full well knows he won't be able to please the gods if he doesn't beat me in battle. So, I'm purposefully throwing the towel." Salem said as Ozpin twitched.

"That….she….just…she can't just!" Ozpin stammered.

"Woohoo! The world is at peace now!" Ruby cheered innocently.

"NOOOO!" Cinder wailed. "My plans…my beautiful plans!"

"But before I announce my future plans, I personally want to apologize to Sienna Khan of the White Fang. Personally, all the murders of Faunus and men Adam was not all on me as he was under Cinder's employ." Salem said earnest.

Blake gave Cinder the look that said that she was going to get mauled. Adam would meet a similar fate when Sienna Khan came crashing into his hideout.

"Now for my future plans, I've decided to follow an old passion of mine and….

(Challenge Rules)

Regardless of Salem's choice, Cinder Fall and Adam must end up the butt-monkey of all of this.

Salem is actually giving up being evil for reals, but she's also trolling Ozpin doing so.

Pairs are up to you, but to avoid clichés, I'd rather not do White Rose or Bumblebee.

Blake gets called out by Sienna on her actions.

Ozpin must be wary of Salem's "heel-face turn" before realizing it is legit.

Have fun doing this.

(Here's a few examples that you can use.)

Ending A – Ice Creamery

run an ice creamery!" Salem said cheerfully.

"What." Cinder said with her eye twitching. "She wants to give up evil to run an ice cream shop!"

"FUCK YES!" Neopolitan screamed out in joy.

The cute mute's screams could be heard all over Vale, and many were shocked that Neo was speaking. Weeks later, Grimm Ghoul Cones had opened in Vale which Salem deciding to troll Ozpin by making it free for huntsman of Beacon Academy for the first day. Thus, said huntsman were in line. Ruby was excited for free ice cream as so much as Neo.

"Oh, my Oum, look." Blake said pointing out someone in a goofy ice cream costume handing out flyer. "It's Cinder!"

Cinder, after getting kicked out Beacon and blacklisted, was stuck taking the job of mascot by Salem. The hours were long, the pay was lousy, and costume was silly. Cinder balked to see WBY laughing at her misery. Emerald could only snicker with a bit of pity as Salem made the jade theif a manager and given Mercury the job of being security. Finally, the doors were open, and everyone piled inside. The place was decorated as a haunted and foreboding castle. Blake was surprised at Adam in a uniform at the counter.

"Adam?" Blake asked.

"What do you want, Blake? Don't you see I'm working?" Adam complained.

After the beating he got from Sienna, she had him kicked out of the White Fang along with everyone else in his sect.

"So, the mighty Adam is stuck in a creamery?" Blake sniped smugly.

"Don't get so smug. Sienna's coming for you too soon enough. I made sure to tell her you were my second in command. Sienna will be paying you a visit real soon." Adam said in a low whisper.

He snapped back to an eerily chipper tone asking for her order, and Blake lost the will to enjoy some ice cream. That did not stop Neo from shoving her aside and making her order. One by one, the line dwindled until it was Ozpin. Salem decided to take his order personally.

"So, Ozpin? How does victory taste?" Salem asked cheekily.

"Hollow." Ozpin growled.

"Aw don't have an issue, here's a tissue." Salem said handing Ozpin a tissue. "Now, what can I get you?"

"I'll have coffee and rocky road." Ozpin growled slamming lien on the counter. "Please tell me I can add alcohol to it."

"Not until noon." Salem teased going off to make his order.

Ozpin wanted to scream.

Ending B – Huntsman Academy?!

run my own Huntsman Academy!" Salem said enthused.

"Are you shitting me?!" Cinder and Ozpin yelled at the same time.

It would be a month later before the Grimm Hunter Academy was formed right in Vale…next to Beacon Academy. Ozpin swore she was mocking her and was actually getting students to join her school, including his own. Jaune's fake transcripts wound up exposed and Salem swooped in with an offer to join her school to save his dream. Thus, he was now a student of her. Insult to injury was his team going over with him. Ozpin now had a renewed rivalry to deal with her and he was going to need brandy in his coffee this time.

(A/N: This idea has leeched in her head for weeks, and I had to make him. The idea of Salem doing this was too good to keep to myself.)