A/N: Thank you all for your wonderful thoughts.

Betad by the lovely Michelle Renker Rhodes. (All remaining mistakes are mine).

Most characters belong to S. Meyer. The rest is all mine.

Chapter 21 – Guilt is Also Relative

For a few seconds, she is bewildered beyond the ability to speak.

The terror coursing through her limbs at finding herself taken prisoner to the castle is multiplied when she lifts her eyes to the men holding her bound as she is led into her father's great hall. A moment earlier, it was Lord Jakob's vile hand wrapped rigidly around her right arm, his fingers digging into her skin. But now, it is no longer he; rather, a simple, unknown guard holds her in his grip. She moves her eyes to her left, seeing if in her fright she has confused on which side Lord Jakob walked. But no; it is just a plain guard to her left as well. Yet she knows….she knows it was previously Lord Jakob holding her captive.

"What manner of trickery is this?" she asks. The guards merely sneer down their noses at her.

Either way, she has no time to puzzle this mystery any further, for she is within the great hall. Her eyes quickly scan the room for her husband. She sees her father first, seated in his place of honor at the head of the table, corpulent and avoirdupois, with a grin on his face that makes her blood run cold. To his right…Christ's love, to his right is Lord Jakob! She catches sight of a man to her father's left, with yellow hair and eyes so blue they almost light up the room, and she looks between them wildly, lifting her gaze upward once more to the men holding her and then back toward the table.

All this occurs in a matter of seconds because her eyes finally locate her beautiful husband. Despite all else, she exhales in relief. He is seated across from the three men, and his eyes grow round with shock as he beholds her. She is unable to keep her voice from quivering when she calls out to him.

"Edward!"

"My lord! My lord," Jasper yells from behind her, where he is dragged in by guards, "they arrived under cover of darkness, in numbers and with swords drawn! They have slain the rest! Forgive me, my lord, for failing to defend my lady!"

Her heart clenches at the guilt evident in Jasper's words and tone, but she cannot comfort him, for all her concern is engaged by her husband, who shouts her name.

"Bellaria!"

He lunges from the table in the next instant, and she watches as he instinctively reaches for his sword. But he has left it at the cottage. Terror grips her limbs once more and makes her knees go weak. Her heart burrows deeper into her throat when, nonetheless, with no weapon, he engages the guards in combat.

"Edward," she barely mouths in horror. "Edward."

Yet he is a strong knight, an incomparable warrior. He defeats many of her father's guards with his bare hands. Then, relieving one guard of his sword, he does what he must. With skillful and deft movement, he swings the sword and cuts down all who dare approach him. Hope begins to swell in her breast, for her husband is a mighty sight to behold in his righteous fury. He is brave. He is honorable.

However, those gathered around him are not.

In a viciously craven manner, the remaining guards all fall on him as one. She hears a loud-pitched scream resound throughout the hall before she realizes that it is her scream. The view of her husband is blocked by all the bodies surrounding him. By that point, she has lost all sensation in her limbs, and 'tis only the guards hold on her arms which keep her upright. When those guards encircling her husband finally dispel, she sees him. He is alive! She sobs in unspeakable relief despite the manner in which they now hold him, prone to the ground, his face against the cold stone while their knees dig into his spine.

"Release her!" he howls as he struggles to free himself. "Release my wife!"

"Edward!" she cries. "I pray you all, do not harm him! Edward!"

"Release her or I will kill you all like animals! Let her go!"

Her dreams suddenly return to her – those nightmares of late where she sees rivers of blood and her husband…her husband with eyes of that same color. She wants to tell him not to struggle, not to give them any more excuse to harm him, but she will not distract him with her fears. Besides, she knows it will do no good. As long as she is held bound, he will fight with his last breath to free her, to preserve her life in any way he can, just as she will do anything within her power to preserve his life.

She sees him struggling to lift his head, to catch sight of her, so she calls his name once more to assure him she is well.

"Edward!"

He is not appeased.

"By my troth, I will cut off every single one of your COCKS AND FEED THEM TO THE PIGS! RELEASE MY WIFE!"

Jasper makes the grave error of attempting to go to his sworn knight's aide. He receives many blows for his effort. Yet all the squire's grunts and groans fall to the wayside as she watches her father slowly approach her husband. He crouches casually in front of her knight, and her breath catches in her throat. It cannot bode well that he has ignored her throughout.

Instead, she listens in growing dismay and incredulity as her father makes her husband the vilest offer imaginable in exchange for her release. For one moment, she fears he will accept if only to win her freedom.

"Edward, no!" she pleads.

"You bastard, I will not!" her husband replies and follows this up with an attempt to wrap his hands around her father's throat, but there are too many guards on him. They drive their knees into his back, and she whimpers as she hears the breath leave his lungs in a sharp hiss.

"No, Father!" she screams. "I will never renounce my husband! I love him!"

This, she prays, will convince her father of the futility of his attempt so that he will either release them or kill them. Either way, they shall be together as a family for eternity.

Her father merely snorts like a boar. For the first time that evening, he forces his attention toward her. Instead of granting them mutual death or freedom, he calls for Cateline.

With a long pull of breath into her lungs, she looks up and spies Cateline being escorted into the room, guards on either side of her yet not touching her. She has made her choice, her deal with the devil, and she is now afforded the treatment reserved for a high-born lady. Nevertheless, she dares spill tears as she stands and waits to be pronounced Sir Edward's next wife.

But her husband proclaims in no uncertain terms that he will not have Cateline, no matter what her father offers or what lies he tells. They shall remain ever faithful to their love. In spite of the madness surrounding them, a defiant smile tugs at the corners of her mouth.

"They are lies, Father," she hisses. "I know what you attempt with your cruel lies, and it will not work. You will not shake my faith in my husband."

However, Lord Karles refuses to quit his attack on their union. He calls for Father Michel, the priest who married them. In a matter of a few treacherous moments, undeterred by her assurances that her union with her husband has indeed been consummated countless times over the past months, the priest annuls their marriage.

"Nooo!" She is mad with both fury and despondency, for if her marriage is annulled, then…then…

Everything happens quickly afterward. The entire room dissolves into madness. Edward is half-crazed with rage. He curses her father, refusing to submit. In turn, her father renounces all pretense at humanity.

She screams in impotent rage, held bound and forced to witness her husband's beating, to watch his blood being spilled - his beautiful, rich, strong blood. She struggles against her captors, but their grip is unyielding, almost unnaturally so. She is powerless to do naught but watch as her husband and her father battle over her.

And all the while, Lord Jakob…or someone resembling Lord Jakob, sits at the table, watching and grinning, believing he has won when her father proclaims that he will give her to him regardless of Edward's violent revolt. The other man at the table, the one with the bright blue eyes, watches the scene with apparent impassivity.

This…this is when she unleashes her wrath, when she divulges that which she has held close to her breast, what she did not know for certain herself until recently, what she was waiting to disclose to her husband in the privacy of their cottage, while they made love, while he filled her and their bodies writhed and joined as one - just as their souls already were. His rich and strong seed had taken hold within her and created…life.

"You cannot give me to Lord Jakob, for I am with child!"

The lunacy in the room suddenly comes to a halt. Only the sound of her husband's labored breathing penetrates her eardrums. Perhaps, in her periphery, she spies the fury and hatred which spreads across Lord Jakob's face, but it cannot signify nor compete with her husband.

"I am with child," she repeats through her tears, heartbroken that such news must be delivered here yet elated by the pure joy which infuses her husband's handsome mien despite their current predicament. "I am with child, Edward - our child."

"Bellaria…" he breathes, choked with emotion. "We will have a child."

"No, you will not."

She is in her husband's arms of a sudden, warm everywhere he touches yet chilled to the bones where his touch does not reach. All other faces and voices are a blur to her, all except her husband's. He commands all her attention with his broken sobs.

"I am sorry." His warm hand palms her cheek. "I am sorry, my Bellaria."

She opens her mouth to speak for she must tell him what she sees in this moment, all she now knows. But she cannot make a sound.

"Wait for me, my wife. Wait for me as you promised - as always…for always. I will find you, Bellaria, wherever you go, and we will be together for eternity."

A smile spreads across her mouth as she reaches for the small hand waiting for hers…and then…nothing.

OOOOOOOOOO

"Bella..." With painful and cautious motion, Edward guided our entwined hands off of my lap, over my ribs, and settled them on top of my stomach. All the while, his face wore a mask of pure agony.

In that moment, the entire scene flashed before my eyes. That part of my past life repainted itself in my mind, in my memories, and I knew what she'd felt right before her death, what she'd ached for, what we'd lost – more than just one another, so much more.

"No," I choked. "God, no."

"You were with child when you were murdered," he said in a tortured voice, his features contorted in such a way that I knew if he could cry, he'd be doing so. "It was early in your pregnancy, and I did not know…and your dreams…your dreams were just beginning. You warned me not to meet with Karles. You wanted to flee, and I refused. Had I listened to you, none of it would've happened. We would not have lost each other or our child. So you see why I had to avenge not only you…but our child."

I pulled him against me and wrapped my arms tightly around his neck, burying my face into his shoulder as a strangled sob escaped. "Oh, Edward."

"Bella, I am so sorry. I am so sorry, my love. I failed you both."

"You didn't fail us. It's not your fault, Edward," I assured him through my tears. "God, it's not your fault. How could you have stopped any of this? It's not your fault."

"How can you say that after what I've just told you?" he hissed.

I pulled away and met his eyes. "Because I just saw it, Edward," I cried quietly. "I just saw it, and I felt it. And I know it wasn't your fault. I didn't believe so then, and I don't believe so now. God, please don't tell me you've been carrying this perceived guilt around for almost a thousand years?"

He dropped his gaze between us. "I might as well have reached into your womb and killed our child myself."

"No," I breathed in horror, fisting the hair at his temples and forcing his eyes back up to mine. "Listen to me, Edward Masen. Don't you ever, ever think that. I never blamed you because you were not to blame," I said, infusing the words with as much conviction as possible. "We were betrayed, my love, by many people. And if you want to lay blame, maybe you should lay it at my feet."

His eyes blazed. "What?" he spat.

"Maybe I shouldn't have yelled that out. Maybe I should've known that the Baron Karles would've never accepted that."

"What would have been your other choice?" he growled. "Would you have married Lord Jakob?"

"No, of course not!" I protested. "But maybe that's the point, Edward. There was no solution. We were fucked the moment we both walked into that castle. We were probably fucked long before that."

Edward held my gaze silently, studying me, gauging my sincerity in my absolution. And, of course, I meant it completely, yet the overpowering sense of loss was bewildering. Not only because it was a loss which had occurred almost one thousand years earlier, but because even in this life, children were never something I'd given more than a cursory thought. But now…now it felt as if my womb had just been ripped to shreds.

And his next words speared right through my already destroyed hopes. "Bella…you must see it was my only chance of ever giving you a child."

"Maybe there's another way," I whimpered.

"No, my love." He shook his head slowly, his voice stronger now, his hands cradling my face. "No. There is no way. It cannot happen. There is nothing alive within me, Bella. My kind cannot create life. We only create death."

"Then we can adopt, can't we?" I said defiantly, baffling myself with my sudden need for a solution. "After all this is over, we can adopt a child and-"

"How would we do that, my love?" he interrupted. "How would we explain to any child that his or her father is a vampire? Yes, we could disguise some aspects of the affliction, but what would we say to this child when I had to leave to hunt or when I returned with red, glowing eyes? How would we explain why my eyes blacken in anger or desire? How would we explain my frigid touch? How would we explain my failure to age like a normal, human man?"

"I don't know, Edward! I don't know," I sobbed openly now. "But we'd figure it out!"

"Bella…" he swallowed thickly. "I wish I could change this for you…but I cannot."

"Are these the real reasons why you won't consider changing me?"

"No," he replied emphatically. "No, Bella. Not now. Not like this. Bella, I am no angel. I am a selfish creature. The only pure thing in my existence has only ever been my love for you. After the solstice, we will decide; once all this is behind you. Then, you can choose what you really want…what you truly need. Perhaps…the best thing for you is someone who can give you what I cannot." He held my gaze meaningfully.

Desperation bubbled inside me, welled up so powerfully that it was like a fire burning through my very core. My heart clenched as a sense of dread coiled itself around my chest. It made it hard for me to breathe, yet at the same time, I wanted to scream at the unfairness of it all.

But, despite all the insanity, I knew one thing.

When I pulled off my blouse and threw it aside, Edward watched me silently. Reaching behind me, I unclasped my bra and let it fall, and still, he said not a word, his eyes on mine. I pushed him back against the mattress and straddled his hips, and he guided me upward, pushing up my skirt with one hand while unfastening his pants with the other. Lifting my hips, I sank over him, taking him deep and exhaling in relief as I stretched around him.

With no pause, I began rocking, pressing my palms to his chest for balance as Edward gripped my hips and eased me back and forth along his length.

"You are all I need," I breathed, holding his dark gaze.

"Then take me for I am yours," he replied huskily.

Our hips moved together in a perfect, frantic rhythm, a rhythm which, in a short time, had become my solace, my rock, a pure way to lose myself and forget the madness consuming me. Edward lifted my hips and eased me down, over and over, sometimes hard and fast, sometimes so slowly I wanted to cry with need. Instead, I threw back my head as he filled me hard or tender, fast or slow, as his upward strokes and thrusts took me away to a place where none of this insanity existed.

"Edward," I sighed, "Edward…your love is all I need."

He sat up under me, gripping my jaw in one hand while his other hand opened on my back, fingertips dancing along my spine. Our hips moved together and apart while my soft breasts pressed against his unyielding chest. We were as close as two people could possibly be.

"Take it," he hissed. "It is yours."

We groaned and sighed, his black eyes penetrating, only breaking away from mine to capture my mouth, to brush his lips over my neck and my breasts.

"Edward," I whimpered, my movements growing desperate. "Edward, your love is all I need."

He grabbed my hips once more, thrusting upward while he pulled me downward and held me there, joining our bodies and souls as one. The coil within me snapped and released the most intense rush of heat into every extremity, all the way up to my scalp and down to my toes. I fisted his hair as I tried to keep my heart from imploding.

"Then take it, my love. Take me," he growled, capturing my mouth, inhaling every last whimper and shuddering exhale of my perfect orgasm, "for I am ever yours."

"For always," I breathed against his mouth. "I've made my choice, and it's you for always, Edward, for an eternity."

He came inside me with one long groan of fulfillment, his heat rushing through me and bringing me pleasure once more while he buried his face against my shoulder. "Then it will be you and me as always…for always, my love."

OOOOOOOOOO

I awoke a short while later. I hadn't realized I'd dozed off. I was cocooned within Edward's hold, his chest to my spine and his breath on my neck, warm and reassuring.

"I would like to ask something of you," he murmured carefully, having sensed my short nap was over.

"What is it?" I whispered.

"Do not return to your apartment. Stay here with me."

A few weeks ago, even a few days ago, his request would've been received with indignation, with a sense of loss of autonomy, with resentment at the implication that I couldn't take care of myself.

"Alright," I breathed.

Quickly, he flipped me onto my back and hovered over me, supporting his weight on his palms. His eyes almost glowed in the darkness of the room, bright and green and shining. It made a flicker of a memory dance in the back of my mind…

But Edward's next words chased all other thoughts or memories away.

"And then…marry me, Bella. After the solstice, become my wife. All other possibilities we can look into after the solstice."

I held my breath for a few seconds. Despite the beauty of the moment, I dreaded what might be the last word attached to that proposal, the yet unspoken…again. Yes, it was stupid to still be jealous of my past self, especially after everything she'd…I'd gone through. But as the seconds ticked by, and that last word wasn't uttered, and Edward began to look anxious at my delayed response…I exhaled and smiled softly.

"Okay."

OOOOOOOOOO

When we finally emerged from the bedroom later that evening, my dad was waiting in the sunroom. He was gazing out of the glass wall that opened and overlooked the medieval garden below. His left arm was in a sling, and his right hand was buried deep in his pocket. Despite his condition, his entire stance still commanded respect.

While I approached my dad, Edward remained a few feet away. Emmett and Jasper were in the room as well, seated at the table on the opposite side.

"I've been told this garden was planted for you," my dad said, still facing away from me. I watched his head tilt upward to the gray clouds hovering over the cherry trees. "I've been told…your gift is far beyond what I've ever seen or imagined."

"Yes," I said softly. "It is."

He expelled a heavy breath. "It's…quite a lot to take in, everything I've been told over the past twenty-four hours."

"I know it is, Dad, but you don't have to concern yourself with any of it anymore. In a couple of days, your arm will be better, and you can just return to Forks."

"So I'm supposed to return to Forks, resume my work, and forget all about this."

"It's for the best, Dad. Jasper says your shoulder will heal soon, and you can simply put everything-"

He finally turned to face me, his chest heaving. "What about what your mother said? She told me to take you to the cabin. Bella," he leaned in closer, "I'm not leaving you alone with these three…men, no matter how much you trust them."

"Dad…" I sighed.

"Sir," Edward said through a tight jaw, "I assure you that nothing is more important to any of us-"

Before Edward could finish, my dad raised a palm in his direction. Yet as he spoke, his eyes remained on me.

"Son, I've been told my daughter was your wife in a different lifetime. I've been told quite a few things by your friends here, and as insane as it all sounds, it's no more shocking than the things I've seen in these past twenty-four hours. So, unless I'm willing to accept that I've lost my mind completely, I'll accept your word for now."

Even from across the room, I could feel Edward's tense indignation multiplying, even more so when my dad leveled his cold gaze in his direction.

"But you need to understand one thing: she may have been your wife a thousand years ago in another life, but she's been my daughter for twenty-four years in this one. So, would you please allow me the courtesy of a discussion with her?"

I could only assume Edward nodded despite the cold fury I could sense. Without another word to Edward, my dad swept his gaze back to me.

"Bella, I'm not leaving," he said firmly. "These other two young…men have filled me in on the solstice and its significance, and we've been discussing…" He drew in a deep breath and squeezed his eyes shut, exhaling as he reopened them. "I believe that perhaps, your mother meant for all of us, including these men," he added begrudgingly, "retreat to the cabin – the one we used to go to when you were a little girl. She said 'take them all to the cabin.'"

I swallowed thickly. "Alright," I conceded. "Maybe that is what she meant-"

"Then let's go!" he followed up hastily.

"But not right now, Dad. I've got a week and a half of my class left. I can't go anywhere right now."

Again, he squeezed his eyes shut as if he were trying desperately to rein in his temper. And when he reopened them, I wasn't so sure he'd succeeded. "Damn it, Bella. With all this going on, how is finishing out the quarter a priority?"

"Bella, I must say that I agree with your father on that," Edward abruptly said.

"I do too," Emmett added.

"And me," Jasper said.

"Why shouldn't it be a priority?" I frowned. "If the aim is to get through this alive and well, then maintaining my career should be a priority."

"Perhaps you can request a leave of absence, my love," Edward suggested. "The time you spend teaching is time better spent working on your gift. We are down to less than two weeks."

I rounded on him. "If we're going to go to the cabin and try to hide there until after the solstice, that's fine by me. But I need to finish this quarter. I'll practice every moment in between, but I need this bit of normalcy to maintain my sanity."

Edward squared his jaw and pressed his lips together. And even though I could tell he wasn't thrilled with my request or my reasoning, and that he would've preferred to leave to the cabin right then and there, he conceded with a tight nod.

"Fine," my dad said. "Either way, I'm not returning to Forks until this is over. I'll request a leave of absence from the hospital. I'll blame it on my injuries from my clumsy fall," he scowled sardonically.

"Dad, I'm moving in here," I said. "Edward and I just discussed it a few minutes ago. We're…getting married," I smiled. "After the solstice."

I watched the blood drain from my dad's face, yet he replied as stoically as possible. "Alright. I don't know that I can offer congratulations on that just yet. Let's get through the solstice first. I'll stay in your apartment then."

"Perhaps it is best if you stay here as well, sir," Edward said impassively. "At this point, I would prefer if we were all under one roof."

I turned around and shot Edward a surprised look, quirking a brow. He merely responded with a shrug, but after a few moments, I could see the sense in his offer. I only hoped my dad could see it as well as I turned back to him.

"What do you say, Dad? Do you think you can tolerate living under the same roof with three vampires until the end of the quarter, followed by another couple of days up at the cabin until the solstice?

For a few long moments, Carlisle Cullen took in my question silently. I couldn't even imagine all the things running through his head. The shock of all he'd learned in the past day or so had to be even greater for him than for me. At least what I'd learned was about my own past, but my poor Dad had been pulled into this world by his love for a woman who died over two decades earlier. When he drew in another breath and suddenly closed the space between us, wrapping his good arm around my shoulder, I felt six years old again.

"For you, Bella, I could tolerate that and much more. I know I haven't been the best of fathers for a…well, for a long while. I handled it all wrong, but you're my little girl, and I'll do whatever I can to keep you safe."

"Oh, Daddy." I slid my arms around his waist and held him tightly, making sure to be careful with his shoulder, feeling warm and safe…and loved.

It was another one of those rare moments that happen in between a storm, one brief respite when the sun peeks out and shines its rays. Somehow, I had the four most important men in the world under one roof, and somehow, they were willing to try to make peace with one another for my sake. In return, if I accomplished nothing else with my life, I would learn to use this gift so that I could protect all four of them and keep them in my life…forever.

"Looks like having her dad here might be a good thing after all," Jasper murmured.

Pulling away from my dad, I looked up and followed the trajectory of all their gazes.

Outside of the windowed wall, the sun had indeed emerged.

The gray clouds were dispelled. The cherry trees bloomed. Suspended in mid-air and hidden by the tall trees and trellises, the flowers danced around the perimeter of the garden in an explosion of shapes, colors, and sizes. Inside their circle, the fountain's sparkling waters had taken flight and now bounced from flower to flower as if they were all in a game of tag, their crystalline transparency reflecting the sun's rays in a prismatic light show.

"Oh, boy," my dad sighed unevenly, running the hand on his good arm through the length of my hair.

"Alright, then!"

We all looked up at Emmett's loud boom. He was grinning widely, and once he had all our attention, he clapped his large hands together once.

"Now, let's show your pop here what else you can do, little sis."

A/N: Thoughts?

Twitter: PattyRosa817

Facebook: Stories by PattyRose

See you soon!