Chapter twenty-one - Breakfast is served
That night I don't sleep, despite the fact that my eyes are drooping to an inch of their life. I don't go back to the dormitory. I don't stay in Four's room with Tris. Instead, I walk the compound. Endless circles of hallways that don't seem to end, some that have no opening and some that lead you to a completely different location at the completely other end of Dauntless.
I can't sleep. It's more of a choice, knowing that if I do the nightmares will start. It's an endless cycle, the nightmares won't leave. It's amazing how a near death experience can plunge your thoughts into the sea. Tris apologizing to me, the fact that she could have died I think made it easier for her to do it. And me to forgive her. Don't get me wrong, I still feel slightly off about the whole thing, but somehow I know she means it. I know that she is sorry. We're on speaking terms but I'm sure it's going to take awhile for us both to adjust to the situation, especially with what has happened. Just because she has said sorry, doesn't mean it filled in the cracks.
Though, the nightmares are more intense now, it's not just losing Tris. It's watching her die, watching her be killed. It's very distasteful. Her thin tender neck being strangled by Peter and not being able to do anything about it is not something I want to dream about.
It's getting close to 6:30 am. The halls I walk seem to get longer and longer with each step, but maybe that's just because I don't want to find an exit. Because I know that once I do, I'll hunt down Peter. Al has already took a beating from me, not sure how everything is going to pan out once they find out that I did in fact find him. I feel some guilt, but I know that he deserved what he got.
I glance down at my knuckles, they're still swollen. Sighing, I reluctantly find an exit and find myself at the cafeteria entrance. It's quiet, not many people are here yet. All of the tables are pretty much empty, except maybe a few with an odd couple of people spotted about.
Walking past the tables I go over to the one of the counters, picking up a banana muffin. I take a small chunk off and plop it in my mouth; it's sweet. I take a seat somewhere in the middle of the cafeteria, watching as it slowly fills up.
It's all quiet and peaceful until someone sneaks up behind me yelling 'roar'...In the process I let out a less than dignified squeak and drop my muffin. I narrow my eyes and turn around to see the monster that killed my muffin. Uriah stands there with a big grin plastered on his face.
"You're Tris' brother, Andy, right?" He slaps me on the back.
"Y-yeah…" I breathe, trying to recover from the force that has just set between my shoulder blades.
"Ya'know, for twins you and Tris are not alike at all."
"Maybe it's buh-because I'm not a g-girl…"
He stares at me for a moment and then laughs. "Yeah, that could be it."
I chuckle with him.
"Anyway, where is she? Never seen her all last night, she okay?"
My smile fades and he notices my shift of mood. Uriah comes around and sits next to me, head tilted.
"Andy?"
"She, uh… sh-she got attacked last n-night…" I say, biting my lip. "M-maybe you should ask her yourself when she comes in… She's a little sh-shaken up."
He offers me a small smile and nods. About ten minutes later, Christina comes in with Will, sitting on the table next to mine and Uriah's. Christina doesn't look at me, and if she does it's nothing more than awkward glances.
Will gets up and to go and get a few slices of toast for everyone, while Uriah, Christian and I sit in a weird silence. To save myself from the awkwardness, I get up and get another muffin; chocolate this time.
"You can't just live off of muffins, Andy." Will says, piling up toast on a plate.
"C-c-can if I w-want…"
He shrugs. "It's your cholesterol," he says and then walks back in the direction of where our table is. I frown and put the muffin back, swapping it for a slice of slightly burnt toast. Biting down on it I grimace, should have stuck with the muffin. Sighing, I make my way back over to the table and see that Tris is now there.
Uriah is sitting next to Tris, who is sitting next to Will. The only seat left is next to Christina, I give out an awkward breath before taking a seat and she shuffles.
"What happened?" Will says, his voice hushed, moving in closer.
I watch as Tris looks over Will's shoulder, I do the same, only then do I notice Peter sitting next to Molly. My lip twitches and my hands automatically clench themselves into fists. It takes me all my might not to go over there and make him choke on the toast he is eating.
"Peter, Drew and…," she says quietly. She stretches over for some toast, grunting from pain. "And…Al…"
"Oh God," Christina says, she shifts and her leg brushes mine. Her eyes are wide as she looks at Tris.
"Are you alright?" Uriah asks.
Tris looks away. I can tell that she is taking Four's advice about being more vulnerable than she really is. She is making herself look all small by hunching herself up. Her dull blues never staring at anyone for too long.
"Not really…" She says softly, eyes cast down.
I shift a little and take another bite out of my toast that tastes more like cardboard. I grimace and place the slice onto the table.
"But you're just…" Uriah purses his lips. "It isn't fair. Three against one?"
"Yeah, and Peter is all about what's fair. That's why he grabbed Edward in his sleep and stabbed him the eye." Christina snorts and shakes her head. "Al, though? Are you sure, Tris?"
Yes. I want to say. Yes, I saw him. Yes, I… I beat the crap out of him. But I don't, I don't say anything. I just watch how Tris sighs as her tiny shoulders hunch.
"Yeah," she says. "I'm sure."
"It has to be desperation," Will says. "He's been acting… I don't know. Like a different person. Ever since stage two started."
Al was lucky at the end of stage one. If Edward and Myra had stayed, he wouldn't be here right now, he wouldn't have made it past stage one. The fact that he is last place is irrelevant, he shouldn't have turned against his friends in the first place. He was a coward. He is a coward.
"It's because he's a c-c-coward." My voice comes out all croaky, like I haven't used it in years. "He said he was s-scared and thought…" I stop talking, they're all looking at me like I am some sort of extinct animal.
"How would you know what Al had said?" Will tilts his head. "And what happened to your knuckles, I notice that they are bruised. Andy, what did you do?"
"Nuh-n-nothing. I d-didn't -"
Just then, Drew shuffles into the cafeteira. So that's what Four had done to him. He looks like he had been thrown out of a window… ten times and then pushed down the stairs five. His face is deep purple and swollen into an inch of its life. His eyes are so bruised it's hard to tell if he even has them open.
"Did you do that?" Will hisses at me, his brows narrowed.
"No, I duh-didn't."
"It was someone… I had never seen before, they found me right before… I got tossed into the chasm."
"They were going to kill you?" Says Christina in a low voice. Will is still staring at me and I shift under his gaze.
"Maybe. They might have just been planning on dangling me over it just to scare me."
I swallow hard. From what Tris had told Four and I last night, they had done a lot more than just scare her. The way she said that they had touched her, still floods my mind. Anyone trying to just scare someone wouldn't try to grope and prod her, then choke her against the railings of the chasm. They knew what they were doing and it wasn't for the fear factor.
Will's leaf green eyes bare into my soul and it's starting to make me uncomfortable. Does he have some sort of a problem with me? He has been like this with me since the beginning, yet I don't know why.
"We have to do something about this," Uriah say in a hushed tone.
"What, like beat them up?" Christina grins. "Looks like that has already been taken care of." I smirk.
"No. That's pain they can get over," Uriah replies. "We have to edge them out of the rankings. That will damage their futures. Permanently."
I like Uriah. I now understand why Tris hangs around with him. He speaks the truth, he's funny and someone who seems to be very loyal.
I see Four get up, coming over to stand in between the tables. Everyone's conversations cease abruptly.
"Transfers. We're doing something different today," he says. "Follow me."
We stand, and I see Uriah's forehead crinkle. "Be careful," he tells Tris.
"Look after her, Andy," he says giving me a pointed look.
"Don't worry," I say. "I w-will."
A/N: Thanks for reading :)
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