Hi everybody. Merry 'Very Late' Christmas and a Happy 'Late' New Year. No growling....I'm sorry for not updating but I've been very busy and quite ill too. This chapter has been like hell to write...literally and was very difficult to put forward since I'm so found of Troy and didn't want him to be destroyed in a single chapter.
This is dedicated to one of my dearest friends on fan fiction, SimplyCuteBambi whose taken the time to help me with this chapter and whose listened to my constant complaining over it. Thanks chickity!
The usual: High School Musical is not mine...it won't ever be unless Walt Disney is actually a long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long lost grandfather of mine. Please let him be! :D
Chapter 20 – The Past Hurts
GABRIELLA sighed and switched on the car radio to find the end credits of some cheesy eighties song ringing through the air. It was 8:15pm and the daylight was already succumbing to the darkness. To many a traveller, the evening was a sense of ease, the impending climb of a new sunrise and a way to end the exhaustion of another day. This wasn't so for Gabriella. She was weary; her body was drained of all its energy, her mind cried out for relief, to sleep, to rest but her resolve to be near Troy kept her going.
Resting on the chair beside her was a small piece of paper with the address for a hotel called The Rose Inn. Lucille had explained that this was usually the place they stayed at when they went down to Placitas.
After leaving a note for her mother which pretty much told her that she was fine, Gabriella had gone straight to the Bolton's where Lucille had sat and talked her through what kind of encouragement she would need to offer Troy. She'd given her the hotel address and the keys to the car and in a wonderful maternal spur of the moment had made Gabriella some sandwiches just in case she grew hungry on the journey. Gabriella had never been more touched by such a kind thought.
As she was driving, Gabriella thought of Troy. She imagined how much he must be hurting inside, finding torment amongst people who had once been his friends. Kyle Hamilton. Kyle Hamilton had been Troy's closest companion in Placitas High School and it was hard to see how something that should've survived past whatever Troy had done had destroyed and withered away their friendship.
Breaking her thoughts was the frantic ringing of her cell phone; she grabbed it from her pocket quickly, hit speakerphone and sat it on top of the dashboard where she could hear the person on the other end of the phone and where they indeed, could hear her.
"Hello?" Gabriella said.
"Jeez, I'm so glad you answered, 'Taylor said sounding incredibly panicked as her voice filled the car, "where are you? Maria just called and gave me a earful. She's demanding to know where you are."
"Hi yourself." Gabriella said sarcastically, rolling her eyes.
"Don't give me that Gabriella. Where are you?" Taylor asked.
Gabriella's mind was already inwardly screaming. She didn't know what to say, how could she explain that she was going after her lover who was having some sort of mid-life crisis without the mid-life part!
"I'm on the road at the moment." She replied.
"On the road?"
"Yeah."Gabriella replied, she looked at the clock and nodded to herself in satisfaction, it was 5:25pm and soon she would be with Troy, she was nearing Placitas.
"But where are you going, 'Taylor asked persistently, "Maria didn't sound the least bit amused."
"I wish I could tell you what's going on." Gabriella said. It ached, Taylor was her best friend and if anyone could be trusted with such a secret it should've been her but Gabriella hated the thought of having to share Troy with anyone. She liked having something that really, truly belonged to her. Her life had always been confusing and difficult, having so many people look up to her in school, losing her father at such a young age, the rifts that sometimes came between her mother and her...it was wrong...and so Gabriella felt she had to have something – Troy – to fill that emptiness.
"Please Gabriella. I'm worried about you. You've been so distant lately...at least tell me where you're going so I can cover for you. I promise I won't tell your mother." Taylor pleaded.
"I...I...look Taylor, don't cover for me. Just tell my mother that he's in trouble and I need to make sure he's alright." Gabriella answered, she felt like switching the phone off and throwing it out the window.
"He who? Whose he?" Taylor asked, utterly bewildered by her friends explanation.
Gabriella said nothing.
"Gabriella? Gabriella? Who are you talking about? Who is he? Gabriella? Gabriella? This doesn't make sense to me?" Taylor cried in exasperation.
Licking her lips Gabriella said, "it won't make sense to you...but it'll make sense to my mother. Just pass on the message, please."
"But –"
"Thanks Taylor, 'Gabriella said quickly, "I'll see you soon."
"Gabriella? Wait –"
"Bye!" Gabriella said and she flipped her phone down and tossed it on the chair beside her, breathing deeply as she focused all her thoughts back on the road.
A second later the phone began to ring again but Gabriella ignored it for she was expecting Taylor to attempt to try and call back again.
Concentrating solely on the road, Gabriella felt the weight of Poppy's necklace against her chest and nodded to herself firmly, "I'm on my way Troy. I'm on my way."
BY the time Gabriella arrived in Placitas it was 6:05pm. It was raining rather aggressively outside and for that she wasn't entirely sure she wanted to leave the safety of the car. After at least twenty minutes of searching she found the The Rose Inn. It was a pretty little hotel, nottoo big or too small, a white and pink coloured building, surrounded with gardens of roses of all colours and sizes. Two doormen waited just outside the doors, dressed in fine black uniforms and when Gabriella finally got out of the car and approached they greeted her with a nod of the head and a friendly 'good evening.'
"Do you have any bags miss?" One of them, the younger of the two, asked.
"Only one but please, in such weather I do not expect you to go and retrieve it for me. I will go out for it myself later." Gabriella replied. She'd packed a small bag of clothes just in case Troy wasn't willing to go with her straight away. It only held three sets of clothing and one pair of pyjamas. She hoped dearly they would not stray past three days in their visit otherwise she was done for.
The doorman nodded gratefully and opened the door for her to let her in. Gabriella had never been more grateful to get in from the rain; the lobby of The Rose Inn was warm and welcoming with colours of gold and red that really balanced each other well. There were sofa's everywhere so that residents could sit and enjoy themselves, books hung on shelves, fine furniture lay everywhere decorated with crystallised lamps and fine authenticated antiques.
"Welcome to The Rose Inn, 'a man at the front desk said cheerfully, "how may I help you miss?"
"Good evening, 'Gabriella said, "I'm hoping that a friend of mine has recently checked into this hotel. We arranged to stay in Placitas for a couple of days so I'm hoping he booked a double room." It was easier to lie; she just hoped that Troy had booked a double room though thinking about it now, why would he? He'd planned this trip alone.
"Well I'm sure we can find him on our system, 'the man replied, "his name please?"
"Bolton, 'Gabriella answered, "Troy Bolton."
At the mention of Troy the worker's face paled over and he swallowed. He must know him, Gabriella thought, and then she remembered that Placitas wasn't as big as Albuquerque. Of course everyone would know each other and so he too must've known about the history of Troy's family. Kyle had said that everyone in Placitas hated Troy.
"No need to search for Mr Bolton, 'the man said smiling nervously, "he did book a double room but of course, The Rose Inn had no knowledge that he planned for a friend to join him. Nevertheless, here is your own key miss. Room 34, third floor."
Gabriella took the key that he handed out to her and smiled, "thank you very much."
"Have a pleasant stay." The man said and Gabriella turned and made her way through the Lobby to the elevator, feeling his gaze following her as she went.
Stepping into the elevator Gabriella pressed the third floor button and watched as the doors closed in front of her. Did everyone know about Troy's history? No wonder he was constantly tortured by it. No wonder the past kept coming back to him. It was like he was not allowed to forget or perhaps he wasn't meant to.
The elevator doors flew open and Gabriella sighed tiredly and stepped out into the hallway. There were doors everywhere with gold numbers engraved into them. As she made her way down the hallway she counted her way up, 30, 31, 32, 33 and then 34! She stopped and stood outside the door, deliberating what she should do. Did she open the door and walk right in? What would be his reaction? Would he be angry? Happy to see her? Did she knock so as not to alarm him that she was there? She didn't know.
"Keep it together Gabriella." She whispered to herself firmly and bracing herself bravely she placed the key in the lock and opened the door.
At first there was nothing. The room was empty and so Gabriella stepped inside and looked around curiously.
"Troy?" She called out but no reply came.
It was a small but attractive little space, in the centre was a large double bed made of pale pink and white. Under the windowsill was a large cream sofa and sitting on either side of it were two oak tables with white cloths placed over them. To her left was another door leading, Gabriella guessed, to the bathroom. To her right was a reasonably sized cupboard where the visitor could put their clothes and other items. On the side of the bed closest to the door was a wall lamp, decorated beautifully with silver rose decorations. Gabriella nodded appreciatively and stepped inside further, closing the door behind her.
On the floor beside the cupboard was a small suitcase. Gabriella sighed with relief, knowing that there was no way on earth Troy could stay longer than a couple of days. He too, like she, would run out of clothes.
Moving towards the bed she sat down and breathed deeply. She was here! Finally!
The bathroom door opened and Gabriella turned towards it. Her heart skipped a beat as she saw Troy come out, his head lowered, his face empty of life and happiness. She stood and only at the sound of her weight shifting off the bed did Troy look up. At first, he looked confused and Gabriella understood that but instead of his face twisting with joy at the sight of her, he frowned and looked angry.
Gabriella hurried over, not caring, and threw her arms around his shoulders, pulling herself towards him and clinging to him, not wanting to ever let him go.
"Thank goodness you're alright." She whispered and then she realised that Troy was not holding her back, in fact his arms lay limp at his side and he made no attempt to try and show her the affection she was showing him.
"What's wrong?" She asked as she pulled away.
Troy said nothing; he simply looked at her blankly, as if he were not even present in what she was saying to him.
"Troy? 'she said again, "Troy? Say something, anything."
Troy breathed and turned away from her, shaking his head in dismay, "what are you doing here?" He muttered.
"I...I came to see you. I was concerned and I wanted to see whether you were okay." Gabriella answered in disbelief.
"Why?" Troy asked darkly.
Gabriella was a little stunned; he was behaving rather coldly to her, something that was usually not in the description of Troy.
"I...I just thought that maybe I could –"
"Why? Why Gabriella? 'Troy suddenly rounded on her looking livid, "I didn't want you here. I didn't want you to see me like this."
"I want to help you Troy. I know that you're hurting right now." Gabriella said gently.
"You know nothing Gabriella, 'Troy hissed, "nothing!"
She moved towards him hoping to ease his anger somehow, "I would understand if you just told me how you feel." She reached out her hand to him but he pulled himself away from her, shaking his head.
"I can't!" Troy said bitterly.
"No. It's not that you can't, it's that you won't." Gabriella replied firmly.
"And why should I tell you anything? If we have no future together, 'he said, "if there is nothing really between us then what makes you think you have the right to know! Huh!"
"Troy, 'Gabriella whispered, she stepped towards him but he turned his head away from her in clear disdain. Reaching up, she touched his arm lightly and leaned up to press her lips to his cheek, "you're perhaps one of my dearest most sweetest friends and I want to help you."
He looked at her and his fine ultramarine eyes were gleaming with so much emotion that Gabriella thought he might die from containing so much of it. She tightened her hold on his arm and the light in his eyes turned dark and deadly.
"Please? 'she said quietly, "I want to help. What does it all mean?"
Troy said nothing.
"God, 'she growled, "stop being so damn stubborn and just tell me! Please!"
"How did you even get here? There are no more trains from Albuquerque to Placitas tonight and I highly doubt your stupid snob of a mother would've let you borrow her car." Troy said, he moved to the windows and pulled the curtains over so the room was covered over by a blanket of shade.
"Why are you behaving like this? 'Gabriella asked, tears filling her eyes, "I've come all this way, leaving my mother with no explanation, lying to my best friend who would've done anything for me to explain what was in my madness just for you to simply shun me!"
At the sight of Gabriella's tear-filled eyes Troy's face softened and he looked almost remorseful for shouting at her. He stepped towards her and reached a hand up to stroke away the tear that slipped down her cheek.
"I'm sorry, 'he whispered tenderly, "I don't mean to be so cold towards you. I'm just...I'm just lost right now."
Gabriella looked up, leaning into his hand and smiled dejectedly, "I know you're lost and I don't know how to help you find your way back to me. Troy...I feel so helpless."
Troy cupped her other cheek and brought her up to him, brushing his lips to hers.
"I'm sorry Gabriella, what can I do to make it better?" He asked.
Gabriella looked up at him, smiling softly, hardly understanding the butterflies in her stomach but not feeling the need to reject them, "kiss me again." She crooned and Troy wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer to him, kissing her with as much fervour as he could.
Gabriella whimpered in pleasure at the sudden contact of her lover. She lifted her hand to his cheek and brushed her fingers against his ruined face.
"Your mother will want to know I'm here." She whispered between kisses.
Troy smiled and ever so gently, he guided her back to the bed and set her down on the softness of the mattress.
"Forget everything right now, 'he said to her tenderly, brushing aside her hair as Gabriella lay back in his arms, relishing the softness of his lips on her neck, "just forget," and at that moment in time, completely succumbing to her desire, Gabriella did just that!
THE frantic rattling of the wind woke Troy from what had been a disturbing nightmare. Lying awake in the darkness, he clung to the blankets that were wrapped around him tightly and breathed heavily, exhausted and terrified all at once. He didn't dare bring his gaze from the ceiling; he was too weary of what was in the shadows, waiting for him. His naked body shuddered unnaturally, every muscle twitched and jolted uncomfortably and sweat engulfed him as he held back the feeling of wanting to be sick.
Beside him, completely oblivious to his suffering was Gabriella. She slept peacefully, her face the picture of innocence and serenity and daring himself, Troy turned his aching body to look at her and smiled softly as he took in her relaxed form. She was cuddled into her pillow, the blankets wrapped around her bare shoulder and her hand pressed beneath her cheek as she breathed evenly.
Troy still couldn't believe Gabriella was in Placitas. It didn't seem feasible and now looking at her, he wondered whether she may feel something, anything towards him. How could she not if she'd come so far to see him and to bring him back.
Leaning in closer, Troy wrapped his arms around Gabriella's waist and pulled her to him. She whimpered in her sleep but must've sensed his desperation to be with her for she nestled into the crook of his neck and wrapped her legs around his and fell back into an even deeper sleep. He hadn't meant to shout her. It had confused him when he'd found her in his room and when she'd thrown herself at him and clung to him like she never wanted to let him go it had made him feel like the wound in his heart was beginning to heal.
Troy sighed and breathed in Gabriella's scent. He wished he could truly forget all that had ever gone on in his past. Wherever he went he'd been haunted by his actions, by Poppy and his memories of her. Even Gabriella made it difficult for him to move on.
When she'd come he'd had every intention of staying angry with her but she'd looked at him so imploringly and matched his fury with twice the amount of passion he could ever give that he couldn't help himself. He had to have her, to be close to her...Troy had just known it would help him forget! Their love making had been slow and gentle and reassuring. They'd held onto one another in sheer desperation, kissing and cuddling, gasping and moaning with the simple pleasure of being together.
Turning to look at the alarm clock Troy sighed with disappointment that it was early morning. 6:30am. He knew indefinitely that he wouldn't be able to sleep again. The nightmare had been too vivid. Every time he closed his eyes he saw Poppy's face, glaring at him, reminding him of the biggest mistake of his life.
Entangling himself from Gabriella, he climbed out of bed and wrapped one of the blankets around his waist. Anxiously, Troy hurried through to the bathroom, feeling rather foolish that he was so fearful of the dark.
He flicked the bathroom light on and made his way over to the shower. He opened the door and turned the taps and heard the relishing whoosh of running water. On such a morning all he wanted was a gentle reassuring embrace and the shower would offer him that.
Stepping inside, the water poured over him and he experienced bliss and was glad to be all alone.
GABRIELLA turned over and reached an arm out to pull Troy closer but was met with the cool sheets of a bed that had been empty for a while. She sighed and sat up in bed, bringing the blankets around her naked body. The sound of running water told her that Troy was showering and she wondered how long he'd been awake.
Getting out of bed, she went straight to her suitcase and pulled out a clean set of clothes. Changing quickly, she grabbed her cell phone and wondered whether she should phone Lucille or whether it was too early to try. Then, the most coincidental thing happened. Her phone started to ring and the caller ID said it was Lucille! Gabriella chuckled at the irony and flipped open the top.
"Lucille, 'she said lightly, "I was just thinking about you."
"Good morning my dear, 'Lucille said, she sounded dreadfully distressed, "I trust you arrived in Placitas safely."
"I got here late last night. I would've phoned but getting the right signal was terrible, 'Gabriella replied, "I was sure to check Troy was okay and when I was absolutely positive he was fine we settled down to go to sleep."
Okay, so maybe she was lying and they didn't sleep straight away...but she didn't want to worry Lucille with the thought of Troy being so depressed.
"How is he?" Lucille asked hopefully.
"He's well enough. Showering as we speak." Gabriella answered. She sat down on the bed and ran a hand through her tousled hair.
"Thank you, 'the older woman breathed in relief, "so, will you be on your way back soon? I'll have a lovely beef casserole waiting for you both when you come in."
Gabriella cringed and lay back on the bed, sighing tiredly, "well...um...here's the thing Lucille...I...I don't think Troy is ready to come...come back yet."
"What?" Lucille cried.
"Troy appears to have some unfinished business that he needs to take care of here. I don't think I'll be able to persuade him to return to Albuquerque until he's done what's needed to be done." Gabriella explained.
"But –"
"Please Lucille. Just let me help him. When he's ready he'll come home." Gabriella said softly.
"But what if he doesn't come home?" Lucille queried desperately.
Gabriella sighed and looked towards the bathroom door, "he will, 'she said resolutely, "I'll make sure of it. Just...trust me!"
"I do." Lucille answered.
The sound of footsteps in the bathroom alerted Gabriella and she quickly fumbled with her phone, desperate to end the call as quickly as possible before Troy walked in.
"I've got to go. Troy's coming." She said.
"Okay. Ring me Gabriella. As often as you can!" Lucille pleaded.
"Bye!" Gabriella answered.
"Goodbye!"
The bathroom door swung open and Troy stepped out, dressed in fresh clothes and looking better than he had yesterday. When he saw Gabriella, his face flushed pink and he turned around sheepishly, as if the sight of her unnerved him.
"I...uh...didn't know you were awake." He muttered, "sleep well?"
Gabriella nodded and smiled at him gently, "yes. Very well. How are you feeling this morning?"
"A little better thanks." Troy said.
He sat down on the bed beside Gabriella and touched her hand awkwardly. It was peculiar to think they'd spent the night making love, sharing such intimacy when they were behaving in a manner of embarrassment and unease.
"Listen Gabi, 'Troy mumbled looking down at their interlinked hands, "I shouldn't have screamed at you yesterday. It was completely unnecessary, completely uncalled for!"
Gabriella shook her head and smiled sadly, "Its fine. You were upset and confused and I should have understood that. I just wish I knew how to make everything good again."
"I can't believe you're here. I'm still waiting to wake up and find this has all been some dream." Troy said.
Gabriella brought her other hand up to stroke Troy's cheek tenderly. Her body quivered unnaturally as she felt the alluring texture of morning stubble but she tried to contain her feelings and breathed deeply before saying, "I know I shouldn't still be trying to pressurise you into telling me what's so important that you had to leave Albuquerque and come to Placitas but it would be helpful."
"I can't!" Troy said bitterly.
"Why not?" Gabriella queried.
Troy's eyes shifted across the room as if he were searching for something. He looked as if he were in tremendous pain and Gabriella could barely understand him as he muttered under his breath quietly.
"What was that? Tell me." She whispered.
"You'd hate me if I told you! You don't understand. What I did...it was...unforgivable." Troy said through clenched teeth.
"No I wouldn't. How could anyone hate you? Please Troy. I want to know." Gabriella answered.
"Gabriella, we're in Placitas. This place is the pinnacle of all hatred towards me. Everyone here knows who I am and what I've done. Everyone hates me!" Troy spat.
"Well obviously everyone here doesn't know the real you." Gabriella said determinedly.
Troy stood and glared down on her, "and you think you do?"
"I know that you're a good person Troy. What else can I say to make you look at yourself differently?" Gabriella exclaimed.
Troy looked enraged. He grabbed her by the arm and yanked her through to the bathroom where he pulled her to the mirror. He stood behind her and said in a voice that was deep and full of rage, "tell me what you see Gabriella Montez?"
"I see two teenagers!" Gabriella said shrugging her shoulders, trying not to show how petrified she suddenly was by her lover's anger.
"Do you know what I see? 'Troy hissed, he pointed at their reflections accusingly, "I see a beautiful young woman, intelligent and fiery, stubborn but surprisingly loyal, and do you know what I see standing behind her?"
Gabriella shook her head.
"I see a horrendous beast! I see no future. Someone who only destroys. Someone who doesn't deserve anything that is considered beautiful and good. I see a murderer!"
Gabriella turned around and gazed up at Troy dejectedly, "why are you always in a hurry to put yourself down?"
"Because I know the true darkness of my soul!" Troy said, staring at Gabriella venomously.
"Then let me know your soul too Troy. Help me understand what you've done that is so terrible. Let me judge!" Gabriella ordered, her own anger increasing.
Troy grimaced and grabbed Gabriella's shoulders, spinning her so that she was facing him. The couple watched one another with a frenzy that was cold and challenging. Troy growled, his misshapen face turning crimson with the inner demons that confounded him, and rounded away from Gabriella, storming out of the bathroom and slamming the door behind him. Gabriella moved after him, opening the door and coming through to the bedroom where she found him throwing his jacket over his shoulders.
"Where are you going?" She demanded.
"Anywhere you're not!" Troy snarled, grabbing his room key from the bedside cupboard and shoving them into his jacket pocket.
"Well that's just charming isn't it? 'Gabriella snapped back at him, "and not so brave! At the slightest inkling of anyone understanding what goes on inside that head and you turn tail and run like the coward that you are!"
"Don't you see that I just want to be left alone?" Troy said, his shoulders hunched over manically as he tried to make himself look smaller.
"And don't you see that I just want to help you. I don't want you to be alone." Gabriella cried, she came and stood beside him and reached a hand up to his shoulder but he shrugged her away from him.
"You won't understand." He said sorrowfully.
"I would if you could tell me." Gabriella replied.
Troy turned to look at her and Gabriella shivered at the sudden passionate twinkle in his eyes, intermingled with pain and grief and confusion. How could it be possible to feel so many emotions at once? His feelings matched her own, she was just as baffled as he, just as hurt and as mournful and for that she wanted him to know that he wasn't alone. She was with him. She could support him and guide him!
"Do you really want to know?" He asked.
Gabriella nodded.
"There'll be no going back on your answer." He continued.
"I know, 'Gabriella answered resolutely, "I'm positive!"
Troy sighed, "get your coat."
"Where are we going?" Gabriella asked.
Troy was already opening the door and in a flash was gone. Gabriella sighed and retrieved her coat hurriedly before she followed him, closing the door behind her and running to catch up with him as he made his way down the hallway.
"ARE you going to tell me where we are going?" Gabriella queried impatiently after sitting beside a very silent, sullen Troy. They'd been driving for at least ten minutes and she was already beginning to grow tedious. Her body was throbbing, her mind was racing with a thousand thoughts and she just couldn't seem to sit still.
Troy said nothing but kept his eyes trained on the road with careful deliberation. Gabriella had not been happy about allowing him to drive, not in such a mood but she had not wanted to cause more arguments with him for they were already resentfully agitated with one another.
"Okay, okay, 'she said, "say nothing at all!"
"Can't you see I'm trying to drive here?" Troy answered.
"And because you're driving you suddenly can't talk. For heaven's sake, 'Gabriella cried out, so much for trying to avoid further arguments, "I know men can't multi-task but even they can drive and talk at the same time."
Troy rolled his eyes and sighed and Gabriella looked out the window dolefully.
"I don't understand why you're so angry with me Troy. I just want to help." She said.
"I'm trying to work through how I'm going to explain everything to you." Troy replied.
"So you are going to tell me everything?" Gabriella asked anxiously, turning in her seat to face him.
Troy nodded, "yes and coincidentally, we're here." He added.
Gabriella looked out the window and frowned, gazing around at the scene before her. The great green pasture before her was covered with large marble and stone shapes, some square and some rectangular, some with the pretty ornate faces of people painted on the front or rising statues of flying angels standing tall and beautiful. In front of some of the stones were flowers, many covered so it was almost impossible to see the ground, others completely empty, lying forgotten.
"The grave yard?" She said, gazing out at the stones as they drove up the long winding path that was overshadowed by a fantastic canopy of oak trees.
"You'll see." Troy whispered.
Gabriella didn't have to see. She knew why Troy had brought her to the cemetery and she was suddenly terrified of learning the truth.
Pulling up outside the edge of the cemetery, Troy switched off the engine and unclipped his seatbelt before looking at Gabriella. It was as if he knew how nervous she suddenly was for he looked at her and smiled tensely.
"It's not too late to turn back now." He offered.
Gabriella shook her head, "I need to know Troy."
Troy nodded, "let's go then." He said and together they stepped out of the car and he led the way, the impending fate of everything resting on the moment that was just around the corner.
Gabriella felt as if she were awake to the entire world. She heard everything, sensed all, felt all, the soft twitter of a bird resting in the trees somewhere, the rush of traffic as it moved through Albuquerque, the deafening beating of her frantic heart.
She almost bumped into Troy as he came to an abrupt halt in front of her. He turned and was looking down at something. Gabriella dared herself to look and her heartbeat increased severely as she gazed down at the pale white tomb stone of the young woman she'd never known but had heard of. The necklace that hung against her skin was heavy all of a sudden and felt as if it did not belong to her. It took all of Gabriella's inner strength not to rip the necklace away from herself and place it on the grave where it belonged.
Sighing sadly, Gabriella read the engraved words...
Poppy Lucille Bolton.
She skipped the date of birth and death and her relations to Jack, Lucille and Troy for it was almost too painful to read and looked at the message below instead...
Tragically taken but now safe in the arms of the angels.
Troy moved away from the grave and went to sit on a bench just behind them. Gabriella continued to gaze at the grave with a sense of loss she'd only felt after her father had passed away. She suddenly longed to know this youngster who'd died years ago and wondered whether they could have been good friends?
"So Poppy is the reason you come home to Placitas every once and while?" She said, turning and walking towards Troy. She sat down beside him on the bench and wrapped her arms around herself to keep warm.
Troy nodded, "It is my duty as her brother to visit her. To let her know how deeply sorry I am for ever hurting her."
Gabriella placed her hand on his knee and shifted closer, "Troy?"
"Yes?" Came his weary aggrieved reply. He was still looking at Poppy's grave, his eyes glittering with tears.
"Are you ready to tell me what happened all those years ago with Poppy?" She asked.
"You'd hate me." He hissed, closing his eyes and shaking his head decisively.
Gabriella placed her hand on his chin and brought his head up to look at her, "Please?" She pleaded.
Troy sighed and nodded darkly, "Fine, I'll tell you, but don't say I didn't warn you. I'll tell you even if I don't want to, 'his gaze flickered to the grave again and with a deep, agonising breath, he began, "maybe its best that I start from the very beginning. Is that okay?"
"That's fine." Gabriella answered.
"It's not going to be easy, 'Troy said, "but I'm asking you to bear with me. I'll try my hardest to explain everything properly."
Gabriella nodded, "take your time."
Troy breathed deeply, his entire body quaking with anxiety and began, "I can't believe Poppy has been dead for three years. It's all gone so quick and although this might not make sense to you, it's also drawn on and on endlessly."
"It all happened here in Placitas. My home, 'Troy said with a weariness that suggested what he was saying was already exhausting him, "I remember my old life well. It haunts me! It sickens me and is a part of me."
Gabriella opened her mouth to protest that he was being too hard on himself but Troy shook his head and silenced her with a hand, "you might be surprised to know that I was popular. I had everything going for me. I was handsome, strong and very athletic. I was Captain of my basketball team; guys worshipped me like I was their God, girls all wanted me as their boyfriend and I abused that power and slept around with as many of them as I could before dumping them mere minutes after sleeping with them, 'Gabriella felt something twist in her stomach at the thought of Troy curled up with different girls. She didn't like to think of him with anyone but her, it wasn't right, "I wasn't plagued by these horrendous scars, 'he spat out the words with disgust and turned away from Gabriella as if he was ashamed of what she could see, "but I was plagued with something much worse, something deadly. I, Troy Bolton, was a cold hearted bully!"
Gabriella frowned, "I don't believe it. You! Bullying?" She cried incredulously.
"It's true, 'Troy said through clenched teeth, "I bullied people. It gave me this great pleasure. I'd knock kids out and I'd feel powerful and unbeatable like no one could overcome me! Kyle enjoyed the power we had over kids too. We were like a terrible double duo! We instilled fear in everyone we met."
"Is that why you don't like to fight? Because you're frightened you'll bring your old self back out again?" Gabriella asked thinking back to all the times when Troy had contained his desire to punch Luke Vista. Her mind was burning with new intriguing thoughts...she remembered Susie Greenwoods party when Rory Grainty had tried it on with her...how Troy had reacted...how violent he'd become.
Troy nodded, "I don't want to be the old Troy Bolton. He was...he was unbearable! Cold."
There was silence for a moment. Troy's breathing was hard and strained and Gabriella sat patiently and waited for him to come back around to himself. She could see he was having difficulty telling her all that had ever happened and she was relieved that he was finally coming clean about his past life.
"I did have a little bit of a soft side but only one person ever experienced it, 'Troy said, licking his dry lips, "my little sister Poppy was the light of my world. She was the most precious thing to grace the planet and I loved her very much. She was thirteen years old and so I felt like I had to watch out for her, I was her big brother, if I couldn't care for her, who else could. No one messed with Poppy; she was safe while I was around. To me, anyone within in a spitting distance of her was a threat! I was her protector."
"Adoring Poppy the way I did, you can imagine how infuriated I was when I realised she'd started going out with some guy. His name was Jake Del Toro and though I couldn't see it at the time, he was a sweet kid and liked Poppy very much. He still lives in Placitas you know. I've seen him during a couple of my visits. Whenever he sees me he bows his head and walks off quickly. I've overheard some say he still comes to visit Poppy, 'he motioned to his little sisters grave and smiled sadly, "I'm glad of that. I believe he might have truly loved her...and I destroyed that! I was so bitterly angry with Poppy for having a boyfriend. Being a warm-blooded, hormonal teenage guy myself I knew that in a relationship the equation pretty much was lust add boy add girl equalled sex. I didn't know that perhaps that was just the opinion of my friends and me. I questioned her many times on it and we argued frequently but she told me to stay out of her affairs. She told me I should want her to be happy but all I wanted was for her to be as far away from Jake Del Toro as possible!" Troy sighed tiredly and looked towards the grave that held the remains of his sister.
"What happened?" Gabriella whispered, her throat contracting.
Troy closed his eyes and shook his head, "I don't think I can tell you." He hissed.
Gabriella brought her hand to his leg and he opened his eyes and looked at her, new tears glistening with the memory he was trying so desperately to be rid of, "you can Troy, 'she said softly, "you can tell me!"
Troy sniffled miserably, "I...I can't!" He turned away from Gabriella, his shoulders hunched over in defeat and whimpered in his distress.
Gabriella swiftly gripped her lover's cheeks and forced him to look at her again, "Please Troy! This is important."
The agony that was reflected upon Troy's face was absolutely heart wrenching. Gabriella could see he was sorry, he was searching for atonement that he could not find and it made her ache terribly to see him in such torture.
"It was a Friday night, party night, 'Troy said, "and I'd been out with my friends, getting drunk as we usually did on a Friday. We'd been wandering the streets for ages, looking for girls to hit on and hopefully, have some fun with when we passed my house. We didn't usually try to come into our the areas where our houses were in fear of our parents catching us drunk but that night my parents were out to dinner and had left Poppy at home on her own. I was supposed to be taking care of her but she'd explained to my mother that Jake was coming over to watch a movie with her and in my anger I'd stormed out and left her alone."
Troy shook his head frantically, "If only we hadn't come that way, 'he moaned, "if only we hadn't been so foolish. We passed by the windows and Kyle grabbed me by the arm, pointed and said, 'well look who's at home with your 'lil sis' and then I saw them cuddled up on the sofa together, kissing. There was nothing serious in their actions, he had his one hand on her hip and she was clinging to him like her life depended on it and yet I couldn't help but feel this bitter sting of fury. How dare he touch her like that! How dare he!" Gabriella gazed fearfully across at Troy, he was breathing heavily, his nostrils flaring and his lip curled in as he tried to contain himself. All so suddenly, he looked like a monster! He looked inhuman!
"I...I...I just wanted to teach stupid Del Toro a lesson! I never wanted to hurt either of them, especially not Poppy. I couldn't have intentionally hurt her." Troy was now babbling, looking frantic, looking frighteningly haunting as he turned to Gabriella and gripped her hard by the shoulders, shaking her as he tried to make her understand.
"I would never have hurt her intentionally. It wasn't in my nature to hurt her...not Poppy...not...not...not my Poppy!" He cried anxiously.
"Troy! Calm down! Calm down!" Gabriella said soothingly, "Please!"
Troy yanked himself away from her, "we devised a plan, the guys and I, to make sure Jake never went near Poppy again. We entered the house just after seeing Jake and Poppy go upstairs together. I was convinced he'd persuaded her to sleep with him but when I look back now I realise that I was so intoxicated that my thoughts were all muddled. I told the guys to bar the doors to make sure Jake couldn't leave and then went upstairs myself, holding a box of matches and a large bottle of vodka."
Gabriella's heart was pulsating so viciously that she felt she could hear it over Troy's tightened breath. When he looked at her, his eyes were full with tears and all Gabriella felt she could do was lean across and offer him her hand.
"I reached her bedroom door and kicked it open and the pair of them leapt apart. Poppy looked really embarrassed and Jake was gazing at me nervously. I staggered in and demanded to know what the hell they thought they were doing, 'Troy sighed, "Poppy was furious. She lifted up her arm and displayed to me a great deep wound, streaming with blood and explained that she'd caught her arm on the zip of one of the sofa pillows and Jake was just cleaning it up for her."
"Of course, I didn't believe them one bit and in my rage I smash the bottle of vodka into the wall and the drink spilt over Poppy's carpet."
"What happened then?" Gabriella queried.
"Poppy was furious. She'd always been quite obsessive over keeping her room clean and presentable. She ran at me, screaming that I was ruining everything and that I was taking everything a little too far but I was barely listening. I was too drunk, 'Troy stood and Gabriella made no move to follow him, he began to pace back and forth anxiously, Gabriella could feel the story coming to a crescendo and the notion terrified her, "because I was ignoring her, Poppy hurried out of the room to get something to clean up the vodka on the carpet. She was muttering under her breath as she went but I didn't care. I was more aware of Jake standing opposite me and with Poppy out of the room; I was hoping to spook him a little."
"What did you do?" Gabriella asked. It was difficult to conjure up the image of an intoxicated Troy. From a young age, Gabriella had developed a keen and fantastic imagination and yet the thought of Troy drinking was something of an unbelievable concept.
"What does any idiot do? 'Troy said shrugging his shoulder, his eyes glimmering with grief, "I struck a match and held it in between my fingers, all the while glaring at Jake menacingly. The kid looked so afraid and I didn't blame him. I held up the match and stepped towards him, 'I'm sure you're aware of my reputation in school, huh Jake?' I said. He just nodded. I circled him, or more like I stumbled around him and I said, 'do you know what I do to kids who mess me around?' Jake shook his head and I laughed and replied, "I burn them! I burn every little pathetic inch of them...and I take pleasure in doing it!' By this time the poor guy was practically blubbering in horror but you don't understand, although I said it, I would never have intentionally did it. I was a bully, sure, but I was no murderer. I just wanted to scare him."
Troy paused, breathing heavily. He'd spoken so much, told such a great deal that he'd grown weary. His pace, as he walked back and fore quickened and although he'd stopped talking he hadn't stopped pacing. Gabriella was worried for him. She didn't like to see him looking so lost, so frantic!
"Knowing that I had Jake in the palm of my hand, 'Troy continued after a couple of minutes of rest, "I decided it was time to take my plan to the next level. I called down the stairs to Kyle and the guys and told them to go on home, and to take the keys on the side of the cupboard behind my front door and lock us in the house. I wasn't going to hurt Jake, I swear...but I was drunk! I...I wasn't thinking right, if I'd –"
"Troy! 'Gabriella cried, standing up and coming to Troy's aid for he was becoming hysterical in his storytelling and she did not want to distress him, "calm down Troy. Please. Please." She grabbed both his cheeks and pulled his face around so he was forced to look at her. When his gaze met hers, the ferocity in Troy's eyes eased and he took a deep breath and nodded apologetically.
"Now continue." Gabriella ordered gently.
"I could hear the guys laughing downstairs, the front door closed, both Jake and I heard it and we heard the lock click into place as well. The house was quiet enough that we would hear a pin drop if we listened really closely. Jake was looking at me imploringly, he said, 'Please Troy. I care about Poppy...and I would never do anything to hurt her,' but I wasn't listening, 'Troy shook his head severely, "I didn't want to listen to him because I never listened to anything but my own fucking voice! 'his teeth were clenched together in his anger, "the light of the match was flickering in my hands and I was approaching Jake with it, not caring that he was frightened. Not caring at all. I told him I was going to kill him but I wouldn't have! Just as Jake's back hit the wall, Poppy walked back into the room with a cloth in her hand. She gasped at the sight in front of her, Jake pressed up against the wall like a terrified little child and me...standing there with a match in my hand. The weapon."
A breeze whispered on the wind and it seemed to say that this was it! It was all coming out!
"I...I turned to Poppy and she looked utterly infuriated. She stormed over to me, demanding to know whether I was in my right mind. I told her I wasn't. She looked at Jake and said, 'I think it's time for you to leave. I need to talk to my brother.' Jake didn't really want to go, I think he was worried for Poppy's safety...and he was right to worry...but Poppy reassured him she would be fine, 'Troy's chest began to heave violently, and he shook his head, "she kissed his cheek and told him she loved him and Jake hurried off as quickly as he could."
"But didn't you say the doors were locked? Kyle and your other friends locked them all didn't they?" Gabriella queried, puzzled.
"Just listen Gabriella, 'he said quickly, he moved away from her and turned to face Poppy's grave, his body quaking recklessly as he re-lived his darkest days. Gabriella nodded and he continued, "when Poppy was sure that Jake was gone, she turned to me and she looked angry. 'I can't believe you just did that!' she spat and there was loathing in her voice, such fury! I ignored her and laughed and she said, 'you've ruined everything! You're an embarrassment.' That annoyed me. I loved Poppy with all my heart, 'Troy explained gently, he shook his head and Gabriella was somewhat relieved that she couldn't see his face for she imagined that he was incredibly distraught, "I moved towards her and said, 'well forgive me for wanting to protect you from that pompous, horrible little twirp! Look at you, behaving like some common slut! Putting shame on yourself! On me!' That was it! She...she...she slapped me and I was so shocked, so surprised by the contact of her hand against my cheek that I stumbled backwards and the match fell to the ground and with the alcohol...and...the texture of...of the carpet...the room went up in a great flash of orange."
Gabriella's heart was pounding and she found herself incapable of saying anything.
"I panicked and grabbed Poppy quickly, throwing her into the other side of the room...away...away from the door. We fell to the ground together but by then the flames were everywhere, they engulfed the room, it was so hot and the smoke was everywhere...couldn't breathe, 'Troy's chest was heaving, "couldn't breathe!" He cried.
"Troy?" Gabriella whispered, leaning forward but he stepped forward, aware that she was attempting to comfort him.
"One of the lights burst and Poppy screamed. Both of us were there...pressed against the wall in horror. She looked at me and her eyes were pleading. There...There was a great crash and the ceiling fell down in front of the door. By then the flames covered the room, Poppy was choking next to me, the light was blinding us, 'Troy shook his head, "I turned to her, 'his chest heaved again and Gabriella suspected he was beginning to cry, the grief consuming him, "I told her not to be afraid. Knowing it was the only thing I could do, I picked her up and placed her in the corner, as far away from the flames as I could get. I said, 'I'm going to get us out Poppy. I promise,' and she nodded and I ran through the flames and at the door."
"What happened?" Gabriella questioned.
Troy shook his head, "I...worked hard, throwing the fallen ceiling pieces aside as I fought my way through to get to the door. The heat...it...it was unbelievable and by then the sweat was dripping off me. I turned to Poppy and screamed, 'press yourself down to the ground Poppy,' because I wanted her to keep away from the fumes. She did as I told her and I continued to yank the debris from the doorway. I'd been drunk...but...but somehow I'd managed to sober up in...the...well...anyway, 'he said through clenched teeth, Gabriella came and stood beside him and by then sweat was pouring down his face, "I threw the final piece of ceiling to the side and threw open the door...and then...the unspeakable happened!"
Troy paused and shook his head, whimpering as he went, "no, no...I...I wish...I wish it hadn't happened. No!"
Gabriella turned to look at him and touched his arm gently, "tell me Troy." She crooned.
"I turned to fetch her and...and it came from nowhere. The ceiling caved in front of her. Everything came down, the entire foundations came around her, great hulking chunks of wood, loads of them and they trapped her into this little circle with no way over and no way through. Poppy shrieked and I ran over to her, I could just about see her through a small opening in between the wood." Troy's face was contorted in repulsion, his eyes were glazed over in his horrifying memories and Gabriela felt helpless, "she looked at me through the gap, she was crying and reaching through, trying to grab. I took her hand in mine."
"Troy, 'she sobbed, 'Troy help me.' I shoved against the wood but it wouldn't budge. I wanted to get through it so much...I would've put myself in her shoes, in her position to save her. 'Help me Troy! Please. I'm frightened.' I gripped her arm and she squeezed mine back in return, 'Don't be frightened. I'm with you. I'm here.' I said. The flames had travelled out of the room, I didn't know how far they'd gone through the house but I was sure I could hear voices outside, screaming, calling, 'Troy's body trembled, "Help me get out of here Troy, Poppy sobbed, 'I don't want to die.' I was suddenly so aware of the flames behind me. I was coughing, suffocating on the smoke that was spreading around the room. My little sister, she dug her nails into my hand and pleaded with me not to go...she knew what I was going to do...and I was spineless...so...spineless! I looked around the room, feeling empty, knowing I was about to do the unforgivable and then I turned to Poppy and said, 'I'm sorry...I love you,' and with that I stood, yanked her arm away from mine and turned, darting out of the room with my hand over my mouth and my nose. I...I can still hear...her crying...pleading with me...DON'T LEAVE ME TROY! DON'T GO! TROY! PLEASE!, 'by now tears were spilling down Troy's cheeks, his body was jolting and Gabriella watched with impending shame and pity as he admitted the horrors he'd committed, "I'll never forget the agony in her voice, when she said, 'but your my big brother.' That made me stop...I turned...and...and I could see her face through the gap in the wood. She was watching me, tears pouring down her face and this look in her eyes that told me she knew she was going to die. I couldn't stay then. I...I fled...darted down the flame-infested stairs but not before I heard, 'TROY! NO!' Then, there was this defeating crash and I knew...she...was...gone."
Troy collapsed to the ground; his knee's squelching into the mud. It had begun to rain but he didn't seem to feel it. He pounded his fists into the grass, punching it violently, a strange, strangled sound escaping his lips every time he did so. Gabriella sat beside him and made to touch him but he pulled himself away from her, "Don't touch me, 'he hissed, "I don't deserve you! I didn't deserve her!"
"Troy –" Gabriella whimpered.
"I kept running through the house. The fire, it was everywhere...up the walls, licking away at my precious home...destroying...destroying everything! I felt blind, all I could see was Poppy's face, her terrified beautiful little face...waiting for death to come for her. I was sobbing uncontrollably...I just...I knew I'd done wrong...and I regretted it but I could not change what happened, 'he turned to Gabriella, his eyes were red with the tears he'd shed and his face had taken on an ugliness that Gabriella had never seen before, "someone ran past me and I saw it was Jake. He'd come back in for Poppy and when he saw me he stopped and called, 'Troy! Where is Poppy? Troy! TROY!' I didn't answer him, I just kept running. I couldn't answer him. If I did he'd know of the reprehensible thing I'd done and the thought sickened me."
Gabriella tried once again to touch Troy but he wouldn't allow her to. He shifted away, shaking his head, "the scars...and the burns...I got them when I was trying to open the door. They were my punishment and I rightly deserved them. The house was completely taken over with flames, I couldn't open the door, it...was too ha...hard. I could hear people outside...trying to push at the door...trying to get through. I figured it would be easier...to get through a window instead so I hurried through into living room but as I opened the door, a great chunk of the ceiling came down and smashed me in the face. It...It was hot, so hot, the materials gouged through my skin, I could hear them tearing at the flesh, I could taste the blood my own blood in my mouth, 'he turned to Gabriella and pointed to his face, "they destroyed my youth. Another great load of ceiling came down again; it threw me to the floor and dug into me. I...I got knocked unconscious...I can't remember anything after that...but...but I'm guessing that is how I received the burns on my leg and the two on my back...and even the scars and burns on my chest. "
Gabriella leaned forward, "Troy...your scars...are not that bad?"
"YES THEY ARE GABRIELLA, 'he rounded on her, turning so he was towering over her, his face burning with rage and suddenly Gabriella could see the murderous flames in his beautiful blue eyes, "I DESERVE THESE FUCKING SCARS! I DESERVE THEM! THEY POTRAY ME CORRECTLY, I AM A SPINELESS, SINFUL LITTLE COWARD!"
Gabriella shook her head, "no you're not Troy. You're not. You were frightened. You just ran."
"And I shouldn't have, 'Troy said, "I was meant to be her protector, 'one single tear slid down his cheek, "and in the end the one person I couldn't save her from...was...me."
"Troy –"
"When I regained consciousness, 'Troy said quickly, cutting Gabriella off before she could attempt to comfort him anymore, "I was in the hospital. My father was sitting by my bedside...he looked old...older than I'd ever seen him before. When he saw me, he threw his arms around my neck and sobbed. I didn't understand...I couldn't remember why I was there but all I could hear this horrible...horrible screaming in the back of my mind."
Gabriella listened, her hands shaking. She wanted to help Troy in some way but she didn't know how. One part of her heart told her that was Troy had done was disgusting and inhumane but the other part, the part that cared for him dearly told her that Troy needed guidance in such a tragic time in his life. He still hadn't stopped mourning for his little sister and without someone there to help him the grief would soon consume him, or worse, kill him!
"My mother and father pretended to forgive me, 'Troy said through clenched teeth, he moved away from Gabriella and stood directly in front of Poppy's grave, "but I knew they were just deceiving me. It took my mother at least a couple of months to actually look at me the right way. She didn't touch me for the first two weeks after Poppy's death...and I didn't blame her. I disgusted myself! 'his shoulders hunched again and Gabriella could see that he was crying once more, his voice slightly higher than usual. She felt as if her heart were being torn from her chest, she didn't know how to console him or make everything better, because suddenly, it wasn't, "things got worse from there. My...my friends...they shunned me. I tried to fit back into normality but I'd forgotten I wasn't normal anymore. They'd all bow their heads when I'd enter a room or move to different tables when I tried to sit with them at lunch. They ignored my phone calls...or house visits. It was torture. Kyle...my best friend...he started to taunt me at school. He called me a murderer...I think sometimes he forgets he was there that night. He forgets that he locked the doors in the house. Girls wouldn't come near me anymore. They were repulsed! I wasn't attractive; I wasn't a nice person...so I had nothing. Even the girls I wouldn't have ever bothered with wouldn't come near me....when before they'd throw themselves at me."
"That's why you moved away from Placitas?" Gabriella asked gently.
Troy nodded, "yes, 'he sobbed, "we thought moving away would help us get over Poppy...help me get over Poppy even, 'he touched the grave in front of him and laughed resentfully, "but I can never escape her. She's there all the time."
"What do you mean?" Gabriella queried.
Troy turned and his eyes were dark and his face was grim and frightening, "She haunts me. Her voice is in my head, her final words are like imprints, I dream about her, returning to murder me, taunting me, always accusing, never forgiving! I see her in my mother's still unforgiving eyes and my father's attempts of a false smile! When I see families in the streets she's among them and most of all...when I look in the mirror...I see her...in my scars!"
He came to stand in front of Gabriella and he reached up a hand to touch her cheek, "now do you understand why I don't deserve to live?"
"No! I don't. What happened to Poppy was an accident, a horrible accident."
"But you don't see what I'm trying to tell you. It was an accident I caused Gabriella. I did it. I murdered my little sister. I left her when she needed me. It was a shameful thing to do. Jake...he went back for her...he went looking for her. That was the kid I believed didn't deserve Poppy and the truth was he did. He must've loved her, if he'd go back for her." Troy explained.
"You're being far too hard on yourself Troy. You did what any scared teenager would've done. You ran. There's nothing to –"
"So tell me something Gabriella, 'Troy spat, he stepped closer to her so his face was pressed up against hers, Gabriella cringed as she felt the searing animosity spilling from his body, "if you had a brother and sister and they'd got caught up in a fire, would you have saved them? Stayed with them?"
Gabriella said nothing; she averted her gaze and kept it locked on her shoes for she knew her answer would've been yes. She would've stayed. Troy knew the answer too it seemed for he sighed angrily and nodded in having won the argument.
"But –"
"BUT NOTHING, 'he bellowed, "I DON'T CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU SAY YOU STUPID, STUPID GIRL! WHY DID YOU COME AFTER ME, HUH? 'he moved away from her and walked over to Poppy's grave again, "I DON'T WANT YOU HERE GABRIELLA! I DON'T WANT YOU NEAR ME OR MY LITTLE SISTER! WHY DID YOU ASK? WHY?" Troy looked over his shoulder and tears were streaming down his cheeks as his body convulsed in fury, "WHY DON'T YOU HATE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE! WHY DON'T YOU JUST LEAVE AND GO AND FIND KYLE OR LUKE VISTA? SOMEONE WHO'S WORTHY OF YOU, NOT A MURDEROUS LITTLE BASTARD LIKE ME!"
Gabriella was crying now too. She didn't know how to help Troy and she was frightened he would hurt himself in his misery. She moved cautiously towards him and reached out a hand to touch his arm. Troy turned to her and glared at her, revulsion sparkling in his eyes.
"Why do you have this necklace, 'he sneered, pointing to the locket that was hanging around her neck, "it's my sisters. It belongs to her."
Gabriella shook her head, "I'm...I'm sorry. Your mother...she –"
"She had no right to give it to you. IT'S NOT YOURS!" He screamed, he held out his hand arrogantly and said with great malice, "give it to me."
"I...I –"
"I...said...give...it...to...me!" Troy said as if he were talking to a child.
Gabriella did as she was told. Putting her hands behind her neck and unclipping the necklace, all the while trembling as she looked up into Troy's face feeling nervous and uncomfortable. She held the necklace out and he snatched it from her, placing it in his pocket.
"Good, 'he said after a moment's silence, he turned back towards the grave and whispered, "now leave us."
Gabriella stood still and watched, her heart pounding. Troy sunk to the ground and placed his hand on the top of Poppy's grave, "Didn't you hear me, 'he whispered darkly, "I want you to leave! Go home."
Gabriella breathed in a shaky breath and nodded. She said nothing as she turned around and walked back to the car. She was still watching Troy fretfully as she started the car up and quietly reversed out of the graveyard. The drive back to the hotel was an unbearably quiet one...Gabriella felt sick.
IT was nightfall and Troy still hadn't returned. Gabriella was worried for him, for his safety for Lucille had told her he'd been suicidal once and she was scared that he would do something irrational tonight.
She was still having difficulty processing all that Troy had told her. So Poppy had been crushed to death under the decaying wood of the burn house and Troy had left her to save himself. She understood why Troy despised himself so deeply and she pitied him for he had truly received his punishment for what he'd done. She was sickened by his friends behaviour towards him, for they should've supported him in his need, not shunned him as they had. She was bewildered by Troy's descriptions of his parent's indifference. Lucille and Jack loved their son with all their hearts and so Gabriella had come to the conclusion that Troy's grief was distorting his vision of them.
His behaviour towards her...well Gabriella couldn't understand it at all. She'd tried to help and he'd behaved as though he hated her. Around her neck, where Poppy's trinket had been, now felt bare and cold for Gabriella had grown used to it and liked it hanging there. It made her feel as though she were a Bolton too...almost!
Curled up warm and comfortable in bed, Gabriella listened to the sounds of Placitas outside. The lights were switched off but moonlight splashed across the room from the open window. Her eyes were sore from having cried so much and her heartbeat was still unnaturally erratic, so much so that she felt as though she could hear it pounding inside her ribcage. When she'd returned earlier that day a strange presence had come with her and though Gabriella did not understand it, it neither frightened nor bothered her. She'd showered and then checked her mobile to find Lucille had tried phoning her twice and her own mother had tried phoning her an unbelievable eleven times! She hadn't replied to any of the calls, she'd simply busied herself, going down to the hotel restaurant to buy a meal she didn't eat and then coming back up to the room where she sat on the sofa and looked out the window for the lost soul she'd left in the graveyard.
The alarm clock on the side of the bed buzzed telling her it was 12:41am and rolling onto her side; she felt her eyes flutter close and her mind go fuzzy with exhaustion...
THE sound of footsteps outside the door woke Gabriella from what had been an uncomfortable sleep. She glanced at the clock and gasped as she realised it was 4:20am. The door jingled and opened and light burst into the room and Gabriella lay there silently, knowing exactly who it was but knew only too well that she shouldn't bother him.
The door closed and the room was cast in darkness again. Gabriella watched as Troy walked past her, looking truly and utterly worn out. He was drenched, his clothes completely soaked through and it was only then, when Gabriella listened closely that she could hear the terrible rainfall outside the window. He went through to the bathroom and she heard him pottering around. Her heart was pounding violently but she continued to listen. For a moment, she thought she heard him crying but she couldn't be sure for after a few minutes the noise died away.
He appeared again in the doorway of the bathroom, wearing a pair of a pyjama bottoms but completely shirtless. He turned to gaze out the window, his face deadly. Gabriella was scared.
After a couple of seconds, he moved again, walking quietly to the bed, unaware that she was awake. He pulled aside the covers and got in beside Gabriella, shifting close to her and putting a hand around her waist. Gabriella flinched at his touch and whimpered and it was then he could see she wasn't asleep.
"You don't think I would hurt you, do you Gabriella?" He whispered. The hostility in his voice was gone; it was layered only in sorrow.
Gabriella said nothing but when he reached out for her again she did not flinch or move away and he pulled her to him and pressed his lips to her earlobe.
"See, that wasn't so difficult, was it." He crooned and Gabriella turned in his arms and dared herself to look at him.
"You...you look different now." She dared herself to say.
Troy closed his eyes, "do I look like a murderer now?" He queried.
Gabriella shook her head, "no, 'she answered simply, "you just look different. It's not a bad thing."
It was true. The darkness might've offered Troy's appearance to look as though it had changed but he did look different. He looked tired, defeated! Bringing up a hand, she caressed the side of his face whilst stroking the deep, thick scar that ran down over his nipple.
"I think, 'Troy said, 'that this belongs to you."
Gabriella frowned and waited until he held up something gold and glittering. She recognised Poppy's necklace and shook her head, knowing that her wearing it must've secretly upset Troy.
"I...no...its...fine. It's not mine." She replied.
Troy sat up, "please Gabi. It is yours. It was my mother's gift to you. I was just...venting my feelings. I should never have taken out any of my frustrations on you."
"No Troy." Gabriella exclaimed but before she could argue Troy was already slipping it around her neck and clipping it into place. Gabriella felt the weight of it resting against her breast and nestled in closer to Troy, breathing in his scent, wanting to ask where he'd been but was too nervous to try.
"There, 'he whispered, "its back where it belongs."
"Troy?" Gabriella said quietly.
"Yes?"
"What happened to Jake? 'she knew it was wrong to bring up the past again when it had upset him so but she was curious, "did he get out of the fire?"
Troy nodded, "and he still lives in Placitas. He suffered a burn to the left leg, broke it too I believe. He was a good athelete, he did a lot of track running. The damage to his leg was so bad that he was told he'd never run again. I am sorry for that, 'he said tenderly, 'He hasn't dated since Poppy. He's still grieving too. I had no idea how much he loved her and now I wished I'd listened to her when she'd told me how much of a nice guy he was."
"Have you spoken to him?" Gabriella asked.
"No. The last time we spoke was at the funeral. If I happen to see him, whenever I come to Placitas he turns away from me. I can never stomach the courage to talk to him...even though I've always wanted to." Troy told her, nuzzling his nose into her hair.
"Maybe one day all that will change." Gabriella mumbled.
"Maybe." Troy sighed.
They lay there together in the darkness, listening to the rain. They were both as calm as the morning itself, content to hold one another in what felt like an eternity. Gabriella wasn't angry with Troy. How could she be?
She heard him sniffle in her hold and she lifted her head from the crook of his neck and looked at him, frowning, "I'm sorry Gabriella, 'he sobbed, "I am so sorry."
Gabriella didn't what he was apologising for – shouting at her or the terrible things he had done?
"If I could go back I would wait with Poppy. I would...I would die with her. She shouldn't have gone alone. I'm sorry. I would've died in her place. Please God...let me go back, 'he whimpered pathetically, "let me go back in her place. I'm...I'm beg...begging you! Let me go back."
"Hush Troy. It's alright." Gabriella said softly, "I'm with you. Its alright."
"Please, 'Troy moaned, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
Gabriella pressed her lips to his forehead and stroked his arm, "I know, 'she told him, "I know you're sorry."
I know that was kind of an abrupt ending but it seemed to fit in really well. I tried to add something to it, to make the end seem more final but something was telling me that was about it.
This was a really long chapter, the longest I've ever written I think. 28 pages! So be pleased for that at least. Now I want to know what you think. Give me nice big reviews guys to fit with this nice big chapter! Pleeeaasssseeee!!!
I'm sorry if you found Troy's past to be disappointing. It was how I envisioned it so in some respects I'm happy with it but in others I'm not.
I'm also sorry if there are any errors or grammatical mistakes. I've been quite ill and am exhausted after writing this so please try to overlook them. PLEASE REVIEW GUYS! I promise the next chapter will be updated quicker. xoxMusicalxox/Si xxx