Deeks tossed his head restlessly from side to side, mumbling incoherently.
"Marty – open your eyes. Just open your eyes for me, okay kid?"
Nate was at the door, calling for a doctor, but Callen ignored him. His entire focus was on the younger man lying fighting the tight bindings of unconsciousness. Leaning over the bed he placed one hand on either side of Deeks' face and held it still.
"Marty. It's Callen. Stop struggling and listen to me. I want you to open your eyes and look at me." His voice was low, firm and steady, but inside his guts were churning.
Deeks struggled weakly for a couple of moments before the message seemed to permeate through. "Wassup?" he managed groggily. "Tired. My head hurts."
"Nothing, everything's fine now," Callen said soothingly. "Just open your eyes and look at me. Then you can go back to sleep for as long as you want."
Reluctantly, Deeks cranked open one eye and squinted balefully at him. "Okay?"
"Sure. Good boy. You can go back to sleep now, buddy." A rush of medical personnel pushed him aside, but Callen didn't mind. Standing in the background, he could hear Deeks responding grumpily as they asked various questions. It seemed too good to be true. Pulling out his cell, he called in the news.
"Eric? You're gonna want to share this. Good news for once. Our boy finally woke up."
"Really? No kidding?"
"Come on. Give me a little credit. Would I joke about something like that? Deeks honestly woke up. Just a moment ago. You want to tell Hetty and the others? Let them know I'm going swing on by Kensi's place and tell her in person."
Ending the call, Callen suddenly realised the room was spinning. He gave a small gasp and staggered slightly. In an instant, Nate was at his side.
"Take it easy. You've been under a hell of a lot of strain these last few days."
"I'm fine," Callen protested, trying to push Nate away.
"I know you are. But sometimes even you can't cope with everything, G. It's not a sign of weakness to admit that you care. And no, I am not counselling you. I'm talking to you as a friend, that's all."
Sometimes it was easier to keep going rather than to admit defeat. No matter how much crap happened, you shouldered it and you kept on going. You didn't let anyone get close, because then you gave them the power to hurt you. So you distanced yourself over and over and over again and told yourself you were fine, even when you were dying inside. And then something else happened, and life snuck up on you from behind and the simplest thing knocked you for six and you were as helpless as a kitten.
Callen looked at Nate for long time and felt this incredible rush of emotions that threatened to overwhelm him. He felt completely helpless.
"It's alright, G. I'm here. I understand. You can let go now. Everything's alright. Everything is just fine."
And then Callen did something he had not done for many years, far less in another man's arms: he broke down and wept.