Twenty: Mistakes

Renee drives me back to my truck, which is still parked in the lot of the Cavern, in silence. For that, I am so thankful, because I don't think I'd be able to answer any questions about what had just happened. Every time I close my eyes and try to think, all I can picture is the barrel of that black gun pressed against Jacob's chest. I shiver at the memory, my head leaning against the cold car window. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. It;s barely 8 o'clock in the morning; the sun is just staring to rise in the distance. Another day starting.

I thank Renee for the ride and get in my truck. It roars to life, and I grip the steering wheel hard, my knuckles white from strain, and replayed what just happened in my head over and over, trying to make sense of it all. My body trembles from the memory – or maybe the exhaustion – and I want nothing more than to pick up Grace and take her home.

But I can't move. I'm frozen, eyes closed, replaying last nights events.

I opened my eyes slowly. There, laying on the dirty, carpeted floor of the hotel room was Mel, surrounded by a pool of her own blood.

The scream that escaped my lips when I realized what had happened was primal. As soon as the scream escaped my lips, the motel door swung open and several police officers, their weapons drawn, barged into the room, screaming and shouting and waving their guns.

"Put the weapon down! Now!"

"Get on your knees!"

I stayed on my knees with my eyes closed, Riley held tightly to my chest. She was wailing; her lungs clearly getting a good workout. A group of paramedics whizzed passed me, screaming a bunch of medical lingo in panic stricken voice as they began to work on Mel. There was so much commotion. I stayed down until I felt a pair of hands on my shoulders and a voice said to me, "Honey, come with me. You're safe now."

I stood up and was guided into the hallway by a female officer. She took Riley from me and handed her to two paramedics, which quickly bundled her up with a blanket and took her outside to the ambulance to be checked out.

"Are you hurt?" the officer asked.

I shook my head, unable to get the words out. At that moment Jacob walked out of the room, a police officer on either side of him as they spoke softly. Jake was pretty beat up; his busted lip was definitely going to need stitches. The T-shirt he was wearing was torn, his hair was a mess, and he had this solemn look on his face. Jake and the officers exchanged a few more words before Jacob nodded to them and then walked over to me.

"Come on," he said, as he put his arm around my shoulders. I nuzzled into him, feeling safe for the first time since we arrived at this motel, and together we walked out the door.

A shot of Novocaine and 6 stitches later, Jake and I were sat on the back of the ambulance, waiting to be cleared by the police before we headed to the hospital. I kept thinking about Mel being wheeled on the stretcher passed us and onto the ambulance. From what I could see, she looked horrible. I knew she was in rough shape; the ambulance left black tire marks on the pavement as they sped out of the parking lot.

When I saw the cops take Aaron out of the building in handcuffs, I had a rush of anger go through my body. If he had his way, Jacob would be dead right now. Riley would be left without a dad, his father and mother without their son, me without my best friend. The thought made me sick, so I rested my head on Jacob's shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, Bella..." Jacob said, putting his head to rest on top of mine. "I should have never asked you to come with me."

I shook my head. The last thing I wanted was for Jacob to feel guilty about what could have been. "Don't, Jacob. We're fine. Everyone's fine. If it were Grace, I would want you to come with me. How were we supposed to know he had a...gun?" I shuttered at the last word.

Jake closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "It's all so messed up." I could see the tears he was holding in begin to cascade down his cheeks. He wiped them away hastily and groaned, slapping his hands down on his legs."I don't like Mel, but I don't know if I;ll be able to live with myself if anything happens to her. I mean, she is Riley's mom..."

I put my hand up. "Don't talk like that," I told him. "I'm sure she's going to be fine."

The paramedics had checked Riley over, making sure she wasn't harmed, and after giving her a bottle she drifted comfortably to sleep in the back of the ambulance.

When two officers approached us, I sat up straighter, suddenly more aware of my every movement.

"Mr. Black, Ms. Swan, you're free to go now. You've both been cleared," said one of the officers. He was a good-looking man, probably in his mid forties. He turned to look at Jacob. "We've been in contact with Billy and Sarah. Their going to go home now to wait for you there."

"Okay," Jake said, nodding. He turned to me. "We just have to make a pit-stop to the hospital on the way home. I have to make sure she's alright."

"Bella," the other officer said now. At first I was surprised that he knew my name. "I know your father. I've gone ahead called Charlie for you. He and your mom know you're safe. Renee said for you to call her when you need to picked up."

I nodded and forced a smile. "Thanks, officer."

I'm jolted out of my reverie when I hear an anxious tap on my truck window. When I look, I see the owner of the Cavern looking at me with a confused look on her face.

"Everything okay, Bella?" she asks. "I saw your truck here last night at closing, and I was surprised to see it still here this morning."

I sigh, running my hand over my face. No point in my trying to explain now; I'm sure it will be all over the this mornings news. I could almost picture it now: a shot of the police cars, fire trucks and ambulances surrounding the motel, the yellow police tape screaming CRIME SCENE: DO NOT ENTER, Aaron being escorted out, a shot of Jacob and I sat together. The police had sent the news reporters away pretty quickly, but not before they got their shot. I can feel a lump rising in my throat at the thought of being gossiped about. I had just gotten through nine months of being the centre of attention in this small town. I definitely don't want that again.

I take a deep breath, trying to think of something I can say that's not technically a lie. "Everything's fine, just had a hectic night. Sorry about leaving my truck, it won't happen again."

The woman just smiles and nods her head at me before crossing the rest of the lot and opening the Cavern doors. I wait until she's disappeared inside before zooming out of the parking lot and onto the main road, heading towards the Cullen's mansion.

I want to see Grace so bad it hurts. Suddenly the thought of her makes my heart pang. I feel guilty for leaving her so soon, especially to be with Edward, who was the one who said himself that he didn't know how to care for a baby. I should have never been so eager to let him in. What if, in the end, he does more harm to her than good? I mean, Edward and I are not a couple, nor do I even think of him like that. What if letting him in her life is just setting her up for heartbreak when he doesn't stick around? Up until hours earlier I despised him for everything he put me through: from the way he spoke to me at school, in front of his friends and mine, to the way he could easily ignore the baby he helped create. Then he comes in, with his charming good looks and velvet soft voice, and said exactly what I what I thought I wanted to hear and I caved. And now, he was looking after our infant daughter, by himself. For all I know, Grace is on the cold, hard floor with nothing but a blanket. I don't know Edward Cullen, and I have no idea what he is capable of.

I try to push those thoughts out of my head and focus on the horizon, all pinks and oranges and blues as the sun rises, and remember how Edward said he changed his mind. He said he wanted to be there for her, to love her and help her grow. But anyone can say anything. Only when you prove it does it actually have merit. And so far, Edward hasn't proved anything.

Mel had said the same about Riley. And look how that ended up.

Another shutter, and this time the truck jolts slightly to the left with my movement. I jump, frightened, and grab the steering wheel with both hands. I can feel my heart racing faster from the scare, and I try to focus on steadying my breathing as I continue to drive.

"Jesus, Bella," I mutter to myself. "Calm down."

When I finally reach the Cullen's house, it's perfectly daylight outside. I quickly turn the truck off and begin to gather my things when I see the front door open and Edward rushing down the front steps.

"What the hell happened last night?!" he nearly shouts as I climb out of the truck. I scrunch my face, hating the way loud sounds reverberated with me right now. "It's all over the news, Bella! The kidnapping, the shooting, the - "

"Stop!" I exclaim. A sigh escaped my lips, and softer I say, "Stop, please. I don't want to talk about it right now. I can't talk about it right now. I just want to see my daughter."

I push past him and head up the front steps. He is right behind me, and before I get the chance to open the front door his hand is on top of mine, forcing me to turn around to look at him. "Bella, you leave the baby with me and go off with that criminal and nearly get yourself killed! What would happen with Grace if anything happened to you?"

I glare at him. "Jake is not a criminal!" I say. "Jacob did nothing wrong, he just - "

Edward cuts me off. "I don't want you to see Jacob again. It's clearly not safe for you to be around him."

I turn now so my whole body is facing him and scoff. "I don't know who you think you are," I begin, "but you have no right to tell me who I can and who I cannot be around."

"Bella, if he's going to be around my daughter, then I - "

It's my turn to cut him off. "Up until 14 hours, you wanted nothing to do with me or with the baby. I can't believe I trust her with you so soon... I don't know what I was thinking... Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to see my daughter."

Edward looks confused, and I can understand why. I had been eager for Grace to spend time with Edward, and now that he's doing it I don't want him to. I had seen the way Mel treated Riley, and she claimed to love her daughter. What if Edward lost his patience? What if he couldn't handle the stress and his family wasn't around to watch him? What if I wasn't there to protect Grace when she needed it, like Jake couldn't be there for Riley. That was out of his control. This, I think to myself, is in mine.

And with that, I turn on my heel and open up the front door, hands shaking. Edward is right behind me, of course, and he greats Esme as she comes to stand in the foyer, Grace awake in her arms. I drop my bag on the floor and go towards Esme.

"Gracie," I say as Esme places her in my arms. I lean down to kiss her forehead, breathing in her sweet, sweet baby smell. God, I've missed her. She's wearing a floral pair of baby pants and a matching pink shirt, a shiny bow placed perfectly in her little tuft of hair. I check her over not once but twice, looking for any imperfection that may have appeared since I've been gone. She is still pristine, with not a single blemish. Perfect.

"See," Edward says softly from behind me. "She's just as perfect as you when you left her."

I don't turn to look at him. Instead, I lean down and begin to strap Grace into her car-seat. I can't wait to get out of there and go back to the comfort of my own home. My eyelids are so heavy I feel like I could fall asleep standing up.

"Hey," Edward says, his voice sounding a bit panicked. "Where are you going so soon?"

"Home," I tell him. "We're going home." I put her blanket across her body and stand up, grabbing onto the handle of her car-seat and lifting it up.

"Don't you think you could stay for another little while?" he asks. It almost sounds like he's begging. "I mean, maybe you could try to get some rest here. You've had a long night, maybe it isn't the best idea for you to be driving now."

I shake my head. "Ill be fine, Edward," I say, and it comes out more curtly than I intended. I clear my throat and add, "I'm sorry for last night; for just putting the baby on you like that. I shouldn't have done that." I reach down and grab my bag, flicking it over my shoulder. I grab my keys from my coat pocket and head for the door.

Just as I'm about to grab the handle, Edward sticks his arm out in front of my, stopping me in my tracks. "I wasn't kidding about what I said," he tells me, lowering his face down next to mine. He smells so good – like aftershave and vanilla. "You know, about wanting to see her and be a part of her life. I meant that when I said it, Bella, and if anything, having her last night confirmed that for me."

I shake my head. "I should go, Edward. We'll be in touch."

"Soon?" Edward asks. His eyes look pleading.

I open up the door now and walk past him. With a press of a button, I unlock my truck door. "We'll be in touch," I repeat, and then I close the door behind me.

A/N: So here is the long awaited chapter 20! I have a couple ideas for this story, but I'm wondering if I should make the Cullen's vampires... so far in the story they are human but since it's written from Bella's perspective it would be easy to change. What do you guys think? Also, I want to say thanks for all the reviews and people telling me start writing again! Just bare with me for a little while as I get back into the flow and my style of writing; it's been years since I've written anything. I was 13/14 when I first started writing this, and now I'm almost 23, so of course there will be some differences, but I'm hoping you will all still enjoy! Please review!