AN: Thank you guys for reading/reviewing my story. I appreciate the feedback and I am happy to see that some are enjoying it as much as I am writing it. It's a been a helluva slow burner. I probably should have mentioned that before. Anyways, thanks for the support & love!
Chapter 21 – Panic
One week, seven days, 168 hours, 10,080 minutes. However you put it, however you'd like to spin it, that's how long it had been since Arizona last seen or spoken to Callie. She had been avoiding this woman like the plague.
One, agonizingly painfully long week. There was no reason for it, there was no justification for it; she just wasn't ready to deal with anything yet. Everything she kept locked away in a tiny little box in the back of her mind came pouring out in the form of two one night stands, vodka and the occasional angry crying episode. All because this one beautiful Latina strolled into her life, opened said box and hid the key.
It wasn't fair and it was very unlike Arizona to lose her shit like this over a woman, but she had it bad. She did everything to prevent the feelings from bubbling up to the surface. She didn't want to deal with heart break again and more over she didn't want to break this woman's heart.
So, vodka, sex, and crying for any damn reason seemed to be a good remedy. Until her plans were abruptly hindered…
XXX
"Seven days Addison. SEVEN freaking days and she hasn't texted, said hi, nothing! It's like I have a bad rash or chicken pox. She's avoiding me! She won't even come on any cases I'm on. What gives with this woman?"
Callie was pacing back and forth in Addison's room. She apparently had a hot date and needed to look 'drop dead' gorgeous. So Meredith took the liberty of straighten red hair while the woman rushed to put her best eye make-up on. Curse the damn mothers who choose to go into labor the night she had a major date. A date in nearly four months.
"Cal, I think you're over reacting her. From what you said, this poor lady has been put through the ringer already."
"Meredith is right Cal. She's getting out of a nasty engagement with an even nastier woman. God, I can't stand Joanne."
"I fricking met the woman, guys, she's awful. Just full of piss and vinegar. But I don't care. Why would I care? Have you seen my ex?"
"Actually no, I haven't" Addison chuckled out.
"Screw you Addison, you know what I mean."
"Maybe she just freaked out. I mean, she was exposed in so many ways in one, from the ex, her best friend's drug addicted sister, the deployment thing. That's a lot to face all at once Callie. Especially in the infancy of a relationship."
"Meredith, where do you get all of this wisdom?"
"It's the gigantic globe sized head she has – OUCH, don't pull my hair!"
"Don't make fun of my big head, big red. And it's not wisdom so much as being an outside observer to thing you know? Sort of like a third party. All I know is that if I was in the same room with someone I was dating and my crazy ex fiancé, oh and a drug addict I haven't seen in several years I'd look for the panic button."
"You can say that again sista." Addison hopped up from her vanity bench to check her makeup and hair, "Ah, perfect! Thank you Meredith. Now, what to wear! Skanky black dress or skanky red dress?"
"Wait – where exactly are you going all skanky dress too?" Callie looked puzzling at her friend.
"She's going to get laid, that's where." Meredith laughed, "But, she won't share who this mystery date is, but apparently we know them."
Simultaneously Callie and Meredith say, "Skanky black dress."
"Thank you ladies, but I will no longer be requiring your services." Addison shooed them out of her room so she could finish getting dressed.
Meredith and Callie sat down on the couch in their living room to await the mystery man's arrival.
"What do I do Mer? Do I move on and date other people? Should I be mad?"
"Maybe you should try to talk to her before you do anything drastic Callie. You wouldn't want to do something you'd regret. And yes, it's okay to be upset but not forever. You've dwelled on long enough, you need to give her the ultimatum."
"Yeah, you're right. I can't play games. I would like to get to know her, but I refuse to chase after her –as much as I love looking at her ass. And we haven't even slept together yet. And I'd really like to do that at least."
"Big head Torres, not little head."
*DING-DING*
"Ut-oh, the big date is here! Who do you think he is? I bet she met him online. He's probably a stalker."
"Meredith that's terrible to say. He's probably being paid to be her escort for the evening."
Their laughter filled the first floor of the home. Meredith hopped up to answer the door while Callie called out for Addison.
"Okay, okay I'm coming." Meredith opened the door to an all too familiar face. "What the fuck are you doing here?"
Oh that face was all too familiar. "Wow, Meredith, way to greet house guests. You should probably work on that. Where's Addison?" The guess stepped into the house as if they owned the place.
"She'll be right down –" Callie stopped talking when she saw who was standing in her doorway. Meredith and she had the same shocked look on their faces…
"Hey Callie, how are you?"
Callie didn't say anything. She was actually dumbfounded as to how this, this person was actually going on a date with her best friend.
"Um, I am. Good." Nodding her head to take in the person in front of her. "Um, good."
"Both of you doctors really suck at welcoming guests. Ah! And there is my date, Addison! You look stunning."
"Save the theatrics and admiration for later, I am starving!"
Grabbing Addison by the waist the two made no haste exiting the Victorian home to enjoy the rest of their evening. Meredith and Callie stood completely dumb founded in the living room. Jaws nearly dropping to the floor at the revelation of Addison's date.
"Did that just really happen Meredith? Did-did?"
"Did Addison Montgomery just go out on a date with a woman?"
"Was that-that..Was no…I am dreaming. Nope"
"Oh YES, Callie. That was in fact G. The same one you dated. Just took our seemingly straight roommate on a high end date. What-what. Did I miss something?"
"No, I just wow. Addison is on a date with a woman. Wow. I guess anything is possible now."
"Listen, G was really trying with Addison while you were on your date. Apparently she even visited her a couple times at BWH for coffee. More power to Addison. She needs a booster."
"Yeah I guess." Callie sat down on the couch again, looking more bummed out than ever.
Meredith plopped next her, "Don't be so bummed Callie. You can't be mad over someone's childish behavior. You deserve someone better than that."
"I know, but it doesn't make it any better Mer. I mean I feel crazy but it's just I felt this awesome connection with her. And too think we didn't even have a chance to really explore it, just stinks."
"I know Cal, but you'll find your person."
XXX
"Arizona, wake up." She was standing above a really hungover blonde, half on the couch and half on the floor ass naked.
"No, sleepy Teddy, please. I have work in the future, please."
"Yes, Arizona, go 'sleepy' in her room, you're butt naked in our living room. Communal areas. Get that ass up."
"Nooooo, please Teddy. I am in bed. So warm and soft" she began to cuddle a sofa cushion, "Mm, love bed. Night night Teddy." Arizona gained a sense of where she was when she went reaching for the nonexistent blanket. "Teddy, blankie, pweaseee?"
She sat next to Arizona now who had her back facing the woman, "Arizona, please. Open your eyes. You're talking to the ottoman. Get up."
She began to rub her face and the reality unpleasantly sank in. "Shit, Teddy, when and why am I here?"
"You're the ass naked surgeon on our floor. Henry nearly collapsed when he saw you."
"WHAT!" She groaned and rolled her head in agony "Why, WHY does this shit happen?"
"Please wrap your body in that blanket and go to your room. We need to talk."
Arizona grumbled and moaned the entire way to her bed. Wrapped in a throw blanket like a toga, she flopped on her bed face first.
Teddy shut the door and stood at the foot of the bed. "Arizona, what are you doing?"
"Sleeping, now go away." The dull pain of a headache began to settle in between her temples.
"No, not until you can explain why you've been acting like a child for the last week. What happened?"
"Teddy, sleepy please." Arizona felt and probably looked like death. But Teddy was relentless.
"No, not until you can explain to me why my boyfriend is mortified, why some lady left the apartment at 3 in the morning the other night, and why you've been drinking Vodka like a Russian. No. This stops now."
The unfiltered attitude of Arizona began to pour out unintentionally but maybe a tad bit intentionally. Teddy had asked for it. She didn't bother to move or raise her voice, she knew the tone of it would hit the woman hard, "Theodora, I am 30 years old. I can drink like a Russian if I want too if it doesn't affect my work. Which is doesn't. I can sleep with whoever I want to and they can leave whenever they want too. I pay exactly one third of rent in this home. And excuse me for Henry seeing my better side."
"This is all bullshit Arizona. What's really going on?"
"Nothing."
"Come on, Arizona since our signing day you've been in a funk. What's wrong? Are you getting cold feet? Because that's totally normal. We're going to a war. Are you still bummed about Tim?"
She whipped around fast, tears now stained the ivory cheeks, pointing a finger at Teddy, "Don't you DARE say this is about him. Don't even bother. You can leave right now if that's what this is about. I don't need you prodding at me for emotions I've decided to deal with on my own thank you."
"Then why are you crying Arizona?"
Why was she crying, that was a really good question. She didn't even realize it until Teddy mentioned it. "I just, I am angry. At everything."
"Well that's called vodka Arizona. I think the real question is what are you trying to conceal? Don't give me that look Zona, you only drink vodka to forget, whiskey to cope, and tequila to party. So spill it"
Her head was dizzy from the vodka hangover and lack of sleep but she could clearly see what was wrong. Why she was acting like a fool. "It's not fair Teddy."
"Well, yes, but no…what are you saying?"
"Why do I get to meet this amazing woman by chance, stumble back into her life by fate, and have to lose it all to my stupidity? Why?"
"Who are you talking about?" Teddy sat next to her friend.
"Callie. We-we had a date, and I guess you could say a second date on the roof of the hospital if that counts. She brought me a hot chocolate. For no reason other than it was cold out."
"I know, I told her you'd be up there."
"Let me finish. Please." Teddy nodded. "She met fucking Joanne, and didn't flinch. I told her about the infidelity, the wedding, my brother, everything. She didn't move once from that bench. I told her how we signed off for combat and she said nothing. Didn't cry, smile or anything. It was weird. She just hugged me. And hugged me hard. We stayed like that for I don't know how long until I got paged. And I haven't seen her since."
"And that's it?"
"What do you mean? Yeah, that's it."
"You realize you're crying because you hypothetically dumped a girlfriend you never had right?"
"What? No, get out. No Teddy."
"'No Teddy, get out'? Arizona what's gotten into you? You do realize that you clearly like this woman, wherever and however you met her. There is a reason why she came into your life the way she did. And again for a second time." Arizona looked down and away from her friend. "Is this because you're going to combat next year?" She meekly shook her head.
Teddy got it. Completely. Henry and she were going through the same things; the fear, the anger, the guilt, the pride, the honor. It wasn't easy. Especially when you could have the world by the balls, so to speak.
"Listen, you can't think like that."
"Teddy how? Do you know what it's like to lose someone you love because of this war? To watch your parents live with that guilt? Forever. To know that they'll never live to see the things we'll get to see."
"I can't empathize with you but I can sympathize Arizona. My mom never got to see me graduate med school. She never met her first grandchild. She'll never be there to plan my wedding. So no, I don't know what it's like to see my parents lose a child to war, to lose a sibling, but I know damn sure what it feels like to lose someone because of it."
Tears streamed down Teddy's cheeks. She hardly ever spoke about her mother and it was still the source of an aching wound, but she had to say it to Arizona to let her know she knows.
"I could never do that to anyone. I mean even when Joanne and I were getting married, I struggled so much with it. I just imagined Joanne burying me. But then she cheated and it changed me so much. I can't let my feelings cloud me like that again. If there was anything I never understood why G did, I get it now. Why she refuses to engage in a woman for more than sex."
"I am going to stop you there." She placed her hand on the opposite cheek, "Arizona, you need those feelings to ground you. You can't run around like G does and serenade every woman you see, having empty relationships. She lives knowing she is going to die there and she anticipates it. You, you are not that person Arizona. Maybe the serenading women." They both laughed, "You need something, someone, to hold onto while you're there to keep you going. To keep you alive. To fight for. And even if that is just a friendship so be it. But suppressing you're more than blatant feelings by getting drunk and having sex with strangers is not how this works. You, you fight Arizona. And you don't get to get trashed and have mediocre sex anymore. Or let Henry walk in on you naked on our floor." Teddy laughed.
"Okay, okay. You got me there. I am an idiot am I?"
"No, you're just some pathetic love sick teen who should probably go whisk her Juliette away before someone else does."
"SHIT, Teddy, I haven't spoken to her in over a week. What am I doing?"
"You tell me Robbins. It's 7pm on a Tuesday, do you know where you're kids are?"
"Get out of my room you goon!"
"You can thank me later Arizona!"
And Teddy headed out of Arizona's room to leave the blonde to mull over her thoughts.
Why do you make things so difficult for yourself Arizona?
XXX
Meredith and Callie made themselves comfortable on their plush sofa, watching cooking shows and eating take out. What a better way to spend a night off.
"You know, people really take the branding of 'dive bar' to a whole new level with this show. It's like their proud they own a dive bar…think, it used to be an insult at one point." Meredith stated between bites of Pad Thai.
"Yeah, I never understood that either. But some of these places are cool. Like who wouldn't want to get served by Elvis in an Area 51 themed bar?" they both laughed, "Okay, maybe that one was a little bit ridiculous."
*DING DING*
"God, who could be at the door at this hour?"
"I have no idea, I'll get it Meredith."
Looking at the silhouette of what appeared to be a woman, so Callie open the door. Shocked to see the woman who has been occupying her thoughts for the last week standing on the opposite side.
"So, you ever just freak out? And panic because so much fucked up shit has happened to you? And-and you automatically think everything is going to be all fucked up if you do anything else because you know how good it is and there's no way it could get any better without it being screwed up? Well, that's what I did. I panicked. I ran. And-and I don't want to run from you Calliope. In a world where I feel like my pants are on fire and its raining gasoline you are my fire extinguisher. And-and, I, I am sorry. I am sorry I am afraid of screwing up something –"
Callie thought to herself; "What in the world, how does one person talk so fast? Those lips, need to stop talking, but she's so damn cute rambling and spilling out her guts. Oh Arizona, you are adorable sometimes."
Taking the spotlight away from the blonde, she grabbed her face and stole a deep, heavy, heated kiss from those perfect pink lips. Arizona nearly buckled at the knees; she thought for sure she was going to fall down if it wasn't for Callie holding her face up. Only releasing her grip to pull the blonde into her house and shut the door she pinned her up against a wall. Their tongues met again; exploring the depths of one another, massaging observantly.
Arizona pulled back this time. Taking in the sheer beauty of the woman before her; her lips where full and plump, eyes a shade darker than normal, breathing was ragged. Callie didn't want to waste any more time in a drafty mud room, she grabbed Arizona's wrist and led her to her upstairs.
Not trying to be the nosy neighbor, Meredith couldn't help but laugh at the two woman, "Well looks like I have a hot date with this couch and the last eggroll."