Instead of going to the beach at night, Maya went to the only bar in Raidville, and for a few hours every day she found that she could feel better. She always felt worse in the morning, but as long as she knew she could make it all go away, it wasn't so bad.

A month passed. Two months, maybe? Time didn't matter so much. It moved fast whether she was miserable or not. Maya sat on the barstool by herself. It was easy to keep her balance. For now.

"You shouldn't drink so much," Tammi had said that morning. "Another girl we had used to drink during her break like you do, and she got fired."

Who is Tammi to judge me? Everyone should mind their own business.

The bartender knew how to mind his own business. The other people there did too. The bartender brought her order, and Maya finished it before the bartender could blink. She had gotten a lot better at drinking. She hadn't really gotten drunk before she moved to Raidville. There was that one time on her 21st birthday when she and Katy had gone out, but that was only two drinks so it couldn't really count.

Katy…

Maya finished her second drink.

A middle-aged man on a stool a few yards away glanced at her, then glanced back.

The heaviness inside of Maya began to lift, and she laughed a little because she could. The man who was watching moved a stool closer, said hello, and introduced himself. His name was Dan. He was visiting Raidville on business. Maya said hello and introduced herself. He asked her how long she had lived here and what she did. She answered, but she didn't pay a lot of attention to what he said. After that, she let him talk, and she focused on feeling good.

She deserved to feel good, didn't she? She was the only person on this earth that she could really look out for. She deserved to get everything that she wanted, and what she wanted was not to feel bad about her mom or about…

No. That was over.

She deserved to drink, and drinking deserved her.

That didn't make any sense.

She deserved to drink, because she wasn't a bad person. No one was really a bad person. Look at how nice Dan was! He was getting her another drink, because that's what made him happy. His hand was on her shoulder. She was happy to be getting another drink.

Drink is a weird word.

Drink, drink, drink.

If you think about a word enough it doesn't really seem like a word anymore. It seems made up. But of course all words are made up anyway.

Dan's hand was on her waist now. He was leaning in closer, talking earnestly. She could feel his breath on her face. That didn't make her happy, but the bartender had just gotten her drink.

Maya reached for it, but she never got to it.

Lucas's hand grabbed her wrist.