CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

Brian Albe

Erin spoke little at first when she had slipped in beside me but she seemed more awkward than usual and winced with every movement. Her arms were bruised and I was waiting for the right moment to question her.

She'd stalled the car twice now and we were hardly out of her estate. Her appearance seemed worn and I noticed a dark shadows under her eyes.

"I heard back from a University. It's a way-away. Out in New York. Noah will want me to take it. It looks like I might get a scholarship" she tensed even as she spoke.

"People tend to say that with a little more enthusiasm" I mocked and she turned even sterner.

"New Yorks a long way-away" she repeated.

"Well Dorothy your not in Kansas anymore" I teased but she remained unamused.

"No ones pressuring you for a decision Erin. Your still young. You've got your whole life to figure this shit out" I assured.

"I have to right a piece. A journalism piece. I have to cover something, something personal to me" she noted picked at the steering wheel. I let the silence sit trying to consider how to respond to that. I knew exactly what she should write. She should write about herself. But somehow I sensed to her, that would be the greatest insult of all.

"Do you ever have this sinking feeling?" She questioned her hands loosening for the wheel and I watched her face become red.

"What, like when I think my numbers are coming up on the lotto, and then they don't?" I asked trying to get at what she was suggesting.

"No" she shook her head her hair falling loose from it's tie.

"A sinking feeling like something's wrong?" I tried again and she nodded.

"A feeling like something is about to go terribly wrong and theres nothing you can do about it. Like all of a sudden your just overwhelmed by this emotion. By these feelings. I just feel suddenly overcome by this sadness. My heart is aching, like something is suddenly missing from my life" she began to explain and even as she spoke I watched a tear run down her face. Then before I knew it she had dissolved into sobs.

"Purser?" I asked suddenly panicked at what had set her off.

But this didn't seem like her usual panicked attack. The tears were falling as I flapped for the tissue box and thrusted it towards her trying to silence her emotions. She took one limply but continued to ball her body shaking with every sob.

"Erin. Erin listen to me. Nothing bad is going to happen. You were doing a good job, sure you stalled a few times but you've not ran anyone over yet" I teased and she sobbed harder and my eyes watched her hands.

The habit seemed almost instinct now as her hands clenched to fists and released repetitively.

Her sobs continued and so did her hands jolting about. Erin's body pressed into the seat and her face turned a deeper shade of red, standing out against her pale sweats. I wanted for a moment to push her from the car, to get her outside in to the cold air which might have shocked her into sense but I remained frozen.

The street was desolate and I was glad for the lack of audience.

Erin's emotions had becoming normal to me, normal to her. But to others, they were strange. They made her different. There was something wrong with Erin Purser.

"My wife brought tickets for this concert. It's for a band I don't like. You should go with her. They're called Fall Out Boy, I think you'd like it. She's nice. My wife. You two would hit it off" I mused trying to draw some conversation out of Erin. "You should come out for dinner with us sometime" I suggested but my words had no affect.

Her breaths were haggard and I watched her mouth try to form words but all that came out were soundless sobs. I watched her frustration as she pounded against the steering wheel and her feet collided against the mat.

These emotions seemed to peak and suddenly she stilled the space being filled with an eerie silence. I turned my head towards her nervously, anticipating another blow out. But she seemed composed.

"I'd like to go home now Brian" she announced her voice strong despite the slight crackle of emotion.

"Kay" I nodded glad for some reaction.

"Okay" she agreed moving to place the car in gear.

The whole house seemed quiet, eerily so. I walked Erin to the door for the first time in a while and no one greeted us there.

"Anyone in?" I asked as she fumbled to open the door her grip slipping every time she reached for it.

Her shoulders hunched as she looked clueless for a moment. I got in that moment that it didn't particularly matter if anyone was, she would still feel alone.

"About today" I tried but her face was already clouding with emotions again, the porcelain of her skin seeming to shatter. "Never mind. I'll see you next week then" I nodded straightening my shirt and running a hand through my receding hair. I swear she'd send me grey by the time we were through with each other.

I left her at the porch and it was a good four lessons later when I heard the news. That Erin's sinking feeling hadn't quite been as fanciful as I had assumed.

Authors Note:

Hello readers, apologies for my rather long absence I've been delaying putting up this chapter because of the memories it brings back to me. As you know this story is influenced by true events in terms of Erin's driving experience and this chapter is almost full fact and the one following. So I was a little bit emotional about it all, but I hope you thought it was okay and I will update soon with Erin's POV to give you the answers you are all wanting!

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