Chapter 21: Of Internal Debates and Howlers
Jade's PoV:
I should tell someone . . . her parents or something . . .
Lily hadn't been mad at us, but she made us promise not to tell anyone about her outburst.
"No you shouldn't. You promised. She'd see it as a betrayal, and then she'd hate you." Bob was back. He always showed up just in time for these internal debates.
But I can't leave Lily alone in this!
"You're not leaving her alone. She'll have you two, and her brother. Besides, if anyone should tell her parents it's him."
Al would never do that. I like him a lot, but he needs people to approve of him, especially his family. You know that. He wouldn't risk his relationship with Lily.
"He's a Gryffindor. Aren't they the brave ones? The ones willing to risk things?"
Yes, but you can't expect them to be superhuman.
"Then why should anyone expect you to be? If Lily wanted help, she would have asked for it."
I suppose . . .
"It's settled then."
Somehow, I didn't think it was.
-DT-
"Alright, so how are we going to get back at Shell?" asked Lily. It was after dinner and we were in the Lair, making Plans of Vengeance (™). Lily was trying, very successfully, to act as if nothing had happened.
"You mean besides having Venom make her scream so loud that everyone in the castle probably heard?" asked Ava dryly. Apparently Venom had a dramatic streak, and had hidden himself in the basket of rolls in front of Shell's usual seat, emerging right as she reached for one. By the time the resulting chaos had died down, he had slipped away, leaving no evidence to connect the incident to Lily in any way.
"Of course," said Lily with a smirk.
"We could do something like you did to James last year," I suggested, deciding – for the moment at least – to follow her lead and act normally. "That thing with the hair?"
"Except make hers a really nasty, greenish sort of color," added Ava.
"No, someone else would have come up with that already," said Lily with a frown. "We have to think of something creative. Something unconventional."
Translation: something utterly evil that only Lily would ever think to do.
"Are you thinking big bang, or slow and subtle?" asked Ava, a thoughtful look on her face.
I think that I am in a room with the two most frightening girls at Hogwarts. God help me.
"I'm not sure."
"Everyone else will probably go for the big bang," I pointed out, ignoring the part of me that was screaming not to give them ideas. "And subtle would be harder to get you in trouble for."
"You're right, that's a great idea! Will you help me research, Opal? Some sort of potion, probably, they're best for the subtle work."
"Okay," I agreed. "But we can't do anything really bad."
"Aw, mum," whined Ava with a fake pout. I shot her a half-hearted glare before turning back to Lily.
"I'll help you research, but since I'm doing that, I won't be able to help you two with your homework."
Lily shrugged. "That makes sense. I can get Scorpius to help me anyway."
Ava gave a dramatic sigh. "I suppose I'll just scrape by as best I can and hope I don't fail," she said in a dejected tone.
"Drama queen."
-DT-
The next day would be spoken about for generations as an example of what happens when you get the entire Weasley clan pissed off at you.
First there was the general hostility towards Shell. There were enough Weasleys running around that most people were friendly with at least one, with a tendency to take their side in things. Even the Slytherins were a bit more antagonistic than usual, perhaps because of some weird sense of loyalty to Lily, perhaps simply because it was an excuse to have a go at a first-class snob.
Then there were the simple pranks. The ones played by the younger Weasleys or the less experienced. As Lily had predicted, someone had cursed Shell's hair a rather interesting shade of puce, along with a few other alterations to her appearance. There was nothing drastic or permanent (as far as I could tell), but enough to have her in tears when she caught a look in the mirror.
Last of all were the more advanced pranks. Someone (I was guessing James' friends or Molly and Lucy) had slipped something into her breakfast that made her sing rather terribly when ever she tried to say something. Someone else (probably whoever hadn't done the last) did something that made her belch everything she said, resulting in what sounded like someone very drunk trying to turn their life into a musical. I hadn't known that it was possible for anyone to turn so many shades of red.
All in all, the Weasley clan (minus Lily) set a new record for detentions handed out in one day, and Slytherin was very quickly put in the lead for House Cup. Everyone knew, of course, that Lily must have done something, as she was looking far too smug not to have, but no one could prove anything. Proof, Lily informed us, was sometimes the only thing separating a criminal and a successful business man (or woman).
-DT-
The Weasleys appeared to like setting records. Along with the Most War Heroes in one family, the Most Detentions Handed out in one day, and the Unofficial Worst Singing Resulting From a Bet (a perfect example of someone having too much pride to retain any dignity), on the morning after the – ahem – series of unfortunate incidents involving Kathleen Shell, they (with help from James' friends and Ava) set the record for the Most Howlers Received in One Day.
"Bloody hell," I muttered as I watched over a dozen owls bearing scarlet envelopes settle in front of their recipients and hastily take off again.
"You can say that again."
"Bloody hell," I repeated, invoking a few weird looks from the people around me.
"At least when they all go off at once we won't be able to hear what they're saying."
Somehow, I think the senior Weasleys are smarter than that. I was right. The apprehensive silence as the Weasley children (plus some) stared warily at the smoking envelopes in front of them was broken by only one voice.
"ROSE HERMIONE WEASLEY, I AM SEVERELY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU!" And so it continued, one after another, until we were all mostly deaf and there was only one left. A rather pale Lily flinched as the letter before her exploded.
"LILY LUNA POTTER, DON'T YOU TRY TO PLAY INNOCENT! YOUR FATHER AND I KNOW PERFECTLY WELL THAT YOU HAD SOME HAND IN THIS!"
"Well, that was loud," commented Bob in the ringing silence that followed.
Thank you so much for that insightful observation, Bob.
"Sarcasm? You've been hanging around too many Slytherins."
Speaking of which, Lily seems to be taking it well. Lily was calmly buttering a piece of toast as if nothing had happened, and as I watch she muttered something in the ear of Rhea Nott, who smirked.
"Of course she is. Did you expect her to burst into tears? None of her relatives even look anything beyond half-deaf and embarrassed." I glanced around, noting that the other Weasleys were indeed showing no hint of remorse.
Well, I just hope Lily isn't taking it worse than she's letting on. It would be just like her to act perfectly normal when she's really feeling like crap.