Author Notes: Hello everyone! Sorry for this late update, I've been busier than before but I promise I'll have lots more free time come June -hugs herself in glee- Thank you so very much for all your reviews, favourites and alerts. This next chapter's necessary but pretty boring, I fear. Oh well, it's late and I have to post and get some sleep so I hope you enjoy it all the same. Happy Mother's Day to all you wonderful mothers out there! Cheers.
San Juanita, I hope you enjoy this chapter too! :D
- Chapter Start -
Kaname fell asleep within minutes but Zero wasn't so fortunate. His body was at peace after that long awaited release but there was too much turmoil in his heart to find any sort of rest. He was confused, embarrassed, exasperated and utterly chagrined all at the same time.
So much for wanting to avoid any further closeness with Kaname...!
Honestly, if what he had just done to Kaname was not 'closeness', then Zero obviously had no idea what the word meant. He pressed his lips tightly together, trying very hard not to remember that he had just sexually pleasured another male. It was something he had never before in his whole life even imagined and yes, it was the revered, respected and very attractive Kaname Kuran who was, just by the way, addicted to his bite. The pleased snicker inside his head just made it all the more embarrassing. Well really, it seemed to say, is there another male you wanted to pleasure?
Zero groaned silently, wishing it would leave his head and leave him the hell alone.
Crap. Why was all of this happening?
Why was it that each time he was resolved to take one step back, he ended up closer to Kaname than before? Look at what had just happened, for Pete's sake! Even now, Zero was practically wrapped around the pureblood's naked form with only a towel separating their lower bodies - one didn't get much closer than that, did they? Zero took a fortifying breath and groaned silently again as he took in the sweet, slightly musky scent of Kaname's passion lingering in the air and on the sheets. It only made a fresh wave of embarrassment flood Zero's face and neck, leaving him agitated and befuddled. What was even more shocking was that the thought itself didn't disgust him at all.
It should! Why didn't it?
Zero gritted his teeth, on the verge of shouting out his frustration. His body tensed for a moment and Kaname shifted in his arms. Zero froze but the pureblood didn't awake. With a resigned sigh, Zero sagged onto the sheets and shut his eyes. He tried to push his jumbled thoughts away and tried to make himself more comfortable but sleep continued to elude him. The fragrance of the damp silky locks teasing his nose and the smooth warmth of the body in his arms were enough to make his body stir with interest. Zero pushed the thought away abruptly. He had accepted the fact that biting Kaname was sexually arousing particularly with the latter's adorable responses but right now he was only holding the pureblood - surely there was absolutely no reason to feel anything!
Zero huffed and ground his teeth in frustration. His thoughts were getting him nowhere at all. Finally, he gave up on rest. Ignoring the pureblood's earlier entreaty to stay with him - and Zero was honest enough to admit to himself that part of his heart had melted at that particular phrase, having brought up three children who like all others were experts in wheedling - he carefully eased himself away. It was proof of how deeply Kaname was sleeping that he didn't even stir. Perhaps he had once again been burning the candle at both ends for the past week and was just plain exhausted but the fact remained that he trusted Zero and the small ache in the hunter's heart persisted as he got out of bed.
Why? Why did Kaname choose to trust me and obey me this much? I'm nobody!
Frowning deeply, Zero went to retrieve his crumpled jeans from the bathroom. He stepped over Kaname's clothes and walked back into the room, purposely avoiding looking at the large bed as he walked past it. Halfway, he grimaced when his right foot encountered a suspiciously damp patch on the carpet. Scowling, he shoved his feet into his sneakers, hitched the towel higher up his hips and hastened to the door. He opened it a crack and peeped out. The long corridor was empty as he had suspected. That was good - he couldn't imagine looking Seiren in the eye if she caught him coming out from Kaname's room clad only in a towel, holding a soiled pair of jeans in his hand and wearing a hot flush on his face.
It might pull an interesting reaction from her though...
As Zero escaped to his room to clean up, he wondered - hypothetically of course - if the embarrassment would be worth the risk of seeing her surprise. Kaname had asked him to stay but there was no telling how long he would sleep and Zero wanted to be alone. He needed to be alone to sort out the mess in his head before he next saw Kaname otherwise he was afraid he would lash out again in his confusion or worse, indulge in a repeat of what had just happened. Besides, he needed another shower and of all things, he was hungry again! Zero sighed as he whipped off the towel and stepped into the shower stall. Kaname's blood could work wonders - it could heal, strengthen and arouse... but it couldn't fill him up. Zero glanced at his waterproof watch, ignoring the implications of what an interest in food actually signified to him. He didn't want to think in that direction right now.
Well, it was ten past nine at night - too early for another meal even though he knew that all he had to do was head down to the kitchens to get something to eat. He showered briskly with hot water, pushing away the painful, guilt laced memories of seeing Kaname kneeling in his own bathroom earlier. Zero forced his thoughts along more mundane things... such as what he would like to eat and how he was going to pass the time while waiting for Kaname to wake up. Perhaps he could take in a movie; Kaname had mentioned an indoor cinema on the top floor. Or he could walk down to the village to see what if had to offer. Still musing on this, Zero dried off and wore back the same long sleeved T-shirt he had cast down on the bed earlier and a clean pair of slacks. Perhaps he would just go for a walk on the grounds instead - the night air might help clear his head. Zero nodded to himself and ignored the disappointed rumbling of his stomach as he made his way downstairs. When he reached the bottommost stair, Seiren materialised out of nowhere as was her habit. Zero just only managed not to look startled.
"Would you like something to eat, Kiryuu-san?" she asked in her usual expressionless voice. Zero blinked, wondering if she had read his mind... or merely heard his stomach growling.
"Yeah," he admitted. "I was just going to check out this place," he added, gesturing vaguely at the front door. Seiren nodded as if it were a perfectly logical thing to do.
"I'll have coffee brought out to the barbeque area - it's at the back of the villa. There's also freshly baked apple pie," she offered. Zero could feel his mouth starting to water.
"Thank you," he accepted with a small smile. Seiren was an excellent bodyguard and a definite mind reader then. Zero found himself uneasily hoping she wouldn't ask him where Kaname was. He had no idea how to answer that one.
Oh, he's sleeping, Seiren. Physically and mentally exhausted after I bit him, teased him, flung abuse at him, fished him out of the shower, sat him on my lap and gave him an apparently mind blowing -
That stupid flush was starting up again. Zero quickly nodded at Seiren and moved towards the front door before she could sense his agitation.
- o -
As expected, the grounds of the villa were spacious, beautiful and well cared for. The tress and flowering bushes all bore the results of being lovingly tended. Zero pushed his hands into his pockets, looking around him as he strolled along the smoothly pebbled pathway, softly lit by shaded garden lights on each side. The path led past a small man-made river over which there was a bridge and even a tiny gazebo on the other side. Zero smiled wryly - trust Kaname to hire the best landscaping artist for his property! A moment later, his smile faded as a sense of melancholy settled lightly over him. Yuuki would have loved coming here... and Yuko and the boys...
Resolutely, Zero pushed the thought away. He rounded the corner and ambled on until he came to the barbeque area. It was large enough to comfortably accommodate a party of twenty. There were six wooden picnic tables with benches situated around the circular pit. Zero sank down onto the nearest bench and looked around, absently thinking that he should have brought along his jeans jacket to ward off the night chill. A few moments later, he heard the soft sound of a door opening nearby. A maid approached him bearing a tray. Zero smelled the mouth watering aroma of freshly brewed coffee and buttery pastry as she set the tray down in front of him with a polite greeting. He thanked her and poured a cup of the black coffee before tucking into the generous slice of apple pie. It was delicious. The golden pastry was so light and flaky, it practically melted on his tongue. The filling was piping hot, sweet and redolent with cinnamon. Despite the confusion in his heart, Zero polished off the large slice in six minutes flat. He put the fork down on the empty plate with a satisfied sigh and poured himself more coffee. Cradling the warm cup between his palms, he tried to attend to the jumbled thoughts in his head.
All right, so he had just given a hand job to Kaname Kuran - pureblood, business tycoon and his brother-in-law, and been given full permission too right after shouting insults at him. Just how did one top that, really? Zero shook his head, still bemused by his actions. Slowly, he released the coffee cup and stared at the calloused palms of his hands as if he had never seen them before. They had both been very intimate with Kaname's body earlier and he still couldn't quite wrap his mind around it as well as the fact that the memory still didn't arouse any feelings of disgust... just a certain degree of embarrassment and a very annoying return of sexual interest. Zero scowled and shifted on the hard bench. So much for not wanting them to get close! Something had obviously gone very wrong somewhere. Exactly where, he wasn't too sure.
A plaintive meow interrupted his exasperated thoughts and he looked up, caught off guard for the second time in less than half an hour. A pair of round eyes that softly reflected the nearest garden light were watching him from behind a bush next to a smaller path that most likely led to the kitchens. It would certainly make it easier to transport food and dishes to the barbeque area and do the cleaning up after.
"Hey there," Zero called out softly, his lips automatically curving into a soft smile. He had been turned into a vampire at age twelve but that had never stopped animals - herbivores or carnivores - from taking a liking to him. He spared a fleeting, wistful thought for the late White Lily of his schooldays, the large ferocious mare who terrorised everyone except him. He had thought she was an exception only to find out later on that that wasn't the case - not by a long shot. Now, Zero watched with resigned amusement as his latest unintentional 'conquest' came padding out from behind the bush, meowing softly as if it were a starved and neglected stray.
"Want some company, do you?" he murmured wryly as the snowy white female approached him. He waited patiently as it delicately sniffed at the hem of his slacks. Finally she looked up at him with her head cocked to one side as if to say 'you'll do' and then leapt up lightly onto the bench. She climbed into his lap with the air of one who wasn't going to leave anytime soon and proceeded to make herself comfortable. Zero chuckled softly, looking her over as he ran a gentle finger down the back of her head. She was obviously tame and well fed so she probably belonged to one of the staff here. He sighed and started stroking the silky fur on her back as he continued pondering over the latest development in his relationship with Kaname and what he would say when they next met. Kaname had been unsurprisingly docile earlier but Zero had no doubt his pureblood pride would surface sooner or later. Kaname Kuran might be the most - all right, the only - approachable pureblood he had ever known but he was also a successful businessman and could be ruthless enough when he had to. He would probably be justifiably furious at Zero after a good rest and the hunter unconsciously squared his shoulders at the thought. He deserved Kaname's anger... but even thinking about that couldn't erase the deep satisfaction he had felt in bringing about the pureblood's sexual release earlier. Just recalling how Kaname had looked and felt like on his lap, just bringing to mind those soft moans, passionate writhing about and unashamed thrusting of those slim hips culminating in those ecstatically voiced screams were enough to make Zero a little hot under the collar... and more than a little hard between the legs.
Damn, who could have ever guessed that under that gracious, composed and picture perfect exterior of Kaname Kuran lay such a tempting and wanton creature begging to be undone like that? Zero found himself grinning in a rather embarrassed fashion. Kaname had obviously enjoyed that and Zero had to admit it wasn't any hardship to himself either. It looked like he would have to be very careful the next time he bit Kaname otherwise the same thing just might happen again. The question was, would Kaname expect it to happen? And more importantly, did Zero want it to?
He looked up and stared unseeingly into the dark surroundings, his hand absently continuing its slow stroking of the cat's fur, feeling the soft vibration of her purring. Even without thinking too hard about it, he knew the answer to that. Zero shook his head in self disgust. So much for wanting to keep his distance... he was getting in well over his head despite the promises he had made to himself - that if any feelings of lust arose during their biting sessions, they would take care of it. By themselves. In private. After all, Yuuki was no longer here... Zero ignored the bittersweet ache in his heart and the familiar sting in his eyes. Well, he had kept his promise in a way - he had used his own hand to bring himself release but only after taking care of Kaname. Frankly, what on earth would the pureblood think of him now?
One minute declaring that nothing of this nature was to happen and the next, initiating it himself.
One minute promising that what they had was just a platonic arrangement and the next, teasing Kaname to get the most adorable reactions from him.
One minute insisting that any 'feelings' were to be resolved in private and the next, literally giving Kaname a hand.
It was no wonder the pureblood was confused! It was no wonder that Zero himself was confused. He sighed, nowhere near finding a solution than before. He had no idea how long he sat there in the cool air and on that hard bench... but at length, the cat on his lap stiffened and raised its head. Zero looked up, his senses belatedly warning him of Seiren's quiet presence. She was standing about twelve feet away. The cat immediately jumped gracefully down from Zero's lap and gave Seiren a disdainful look before stalking away. Zero suppressed a grin when it looked back at his lap with a rather wistful look - he had no doubt she would accost him again later... when Seiren wasn't anywhere around.
"Kaname-sama is at the balcony on the first floor, the place where you had lunch yesterday," Seiren said quietly. Zero nodded before glancing at his watch, startled to find two hours had gone by without him realising it. Like it or not, it was time to face the music. He dutifully got to his feet. Despite his outward calm, his heart had started beating a little faster. He had behaved differently in the heat of the moment and so had Kaname. Now that they had both cooled down, it was time for him to tender a proper apology... and find out how things stood between them now.
- o -
Zero walked through the dining room and quietly opened the door that led outside despite knowing that Kaname would have already detected his presence long before. The balcony was lit with the same golden lights that illuminated the garden. Zero's eyes found Kaname instantly. The pureblood was dressed in a long sleeved cream coloured silk shirt left untucked over dark wool trousers. He stood at the balcony with his left hand resting gracefully on the carved stone railing and his right in his trouser pocket as he stared out at the darkened valley, seemingly unaware that he wasn't alone. Zero paused at the door and gazed at that perfect profile silhouetted against the night sky. He had found out so many things about Kaname in the past couple of months but right now, he felt as if he didn't know him at all.
Half a minute ticked by... and then the other half. Still, Kaname didn't move and Zero kept silent, trying to ignore the questions still chasing around inside his mind. He finally took a deep breath and stepped out onto the stone floor. As if that was the cue for him to move, Kaname slowly pivoted around to look at him. The look they gave each other this time was wary. Almost immediately, the air thickened with tension as the intimacy they had indulged in earlier loomed over them, adding to the awkwardness. What had happened in Kaname's room was so sudden, so profound... neither man knew what to say.
Zero swallowed as he continued to stare at Kaname as if mesmerised. The pureblood's face was as perfect as ever but it was the look in his eyes that made Zero's heart skip a beat. The dark chocolate pools were no longer warm and open. They were cool. Remote. Distant. Zero opened his mouth... and closed it again. He really wanted to apologise for his behaviour earlier but the almost stern look on Kaname's face left him strangely tongue tied and awkward.
In the end, it was Kaname who broke the silence.
"Zero. Did you rest well?" he asked quietly, the tone of his voice unfailingly polite and courteous. Zero almost flinched. He dug his hands into his jeans pockets, shoulders hunching over a little. A part of him wasn't surprised at encountering this distant stranger, knowing that Kaname's pride would surface sooner or later but the other part of him had rather hoped to meet the blushing, clingy pureblood of before.
"Uh, a little," he lied. This Kaname looked like a person he didn't know. Where was that flushed, passionate, vulnerable and utterly enchanting creature who had writhed about so passionately on his lap just a few hours ago? Zero closed his eyes briefly, cursing his traitorous thoughts. He had to stop thinking of Kaname that way! It was ironic how he had gone on for months now without once thinking of his physical needs but could be so easily turned on by the memory of what he had done to Kaname earlier. Zero had a sinking feeling that his body was now programmed to act in this utterly mortifying way.
Damnit...!
He cursed silently again, feeling his face warm with telltale colour. It was horrible timing - he could tell his reaction wasn't appropriate right this minute. Kaname's chin had lifted a notch, delicate nostrils flaring, slender fingers tightening on the railing. It was obvious he knew what Zero was feeling and why. Before the hunter could think of what to say, Kaname spoke again.
"What you said to me earlier... that was unacceptable."
Kaname's tone was still quiet but the tone had gone icy. The sudden flash of anger in those usually warm brown eyes made Zero blink. It wasn't totally unexpected but it still made him want to shrivel up with guilt. With an effort, he forced himself to stand up straight and to meet that remote gaze head on. Kaname's back was even straighter, the tilt of his head regal... haughty. He looked both proud and furious. There was a reddish glow to his eyes that Zero didn't care to see. The angry aura pulsing in his hunter senses told him that Kaname was holding it in check but just barely.
"Kaname," Zero began awkwardly, "look, earlier I-"
"I don't ever want to hear you speak to me that way again," Kaname interrupted him, each one of those perfectly enunciated words falling from his lips like jagged chips of ice. Zero felt his face flush hot. His heart was pounding inside his chest. The hunter in him rebelled at spoken to like this, and by a pureblood. It insisted that he wasn't to step down from this challenge. It didn't like the unpleasant memories those words brought surging back. The last time Kaname had told Zero off was over thirty years ago but in an instant, he felt like he was back at Cross Academy again, an angry and desperate sixteen years old grappling with his unending need for blood. Zero's eyes narrowed, amethyst gaining a faint crimson hue. Righteous anger was building inside him. He never asked to be turned into a vampire. He hated taking blood and he hated being scolded for it. Scolded for taking what Yuuki freely offered with no strings attached.
Yuuki...
Zero gasped. A sudden shiver shook him hard and he squeezed his eyes shut. Yuuki... Nothing but that precious, precious name could have touched him then. It called to him softly but insistently and it reached inside him with loving gentleness, surrounding his pounding heart with familiar warmth. In an instant, Zero's anger evaporated, leaving only remorse in its wake. He took a deep breath and ran a none too steady hand over his face.
Yuuki...
The girl he loved most in the world had looked up to this pureblood as her saviour and as her onii-san, her cherished and respected older brother. Kaname Kuran wasn't just family to them all. He was their benefactor and their protector. He was the beloved uncle of Yuko, Ichiru and Isamu. He was the reason why Zero was still alive and sane. But most importantly...
Yuuki would never want us to fight. Besides, Kaname is right. I went too far. If it were anyone other than him...
Zero knew he would already be dead. It looked like he wasn't going to be physically punished after all but he was definitely being verbally flayed. It was embarrassing and a bitter pill to swallow but Kaname had every right to say that despite what the annoyed hunter in Zero might think. Slowly, he opened his eyes. It was an effort to meet Kaname's gaze but he did it anyway. Kaname shook his head, his unblinking stare pinning Zero to the spot, making the latter feel even more tongue tied and awkward.
"I don't want to pretend that your bite doesn't do anything to me, Zero. I refuse to pretend anymore."
Contrary to the previous time when he had shyly stammered out his craving, Kaname's voice was now as steady as his gaze. It had a ring of finality to it, almost as if he were issuing a warning - take it or leave it. Slowly, Zero nodded.
"I know," he replied as steadily as he could. "I under-"
Once again, Kaname appeared not to have heard him for he went on speaking.
"In any case, I - I can't pretend. Not anymore," he added. The note of almost desperate frustration in his voice tugged at Zero hard. Impulsively, he took a step forward.
"Kaname - "
"I don't want to have to put up a front. Not in front of you, Zero. I - I just..."
Kaname broke off and shook his head, a look of intense frustration crossing his face. With a soft groan, he swung around, turning his back on Zero once more and gripping the railing with both hands. He was trying desperately to hold onto his control. He had planned every single word he was to say when Zero appeared. He had held himself in perfect control then but almost as soon as he opened his mouth, it all started to go downhill. He hated seeing the guilt on his beloved hunter's face, he hated causing the shocked dismay in those beautiful amethyst eyes, he hated sounding as if he were angry at Zero... when the truth was that he was more hurt than angry. Kaname gulped in breath after breath of the cool air, struggling to maintain his composure. It was the hardest thing he had ever done, keeping himself cold and aloof when what he wanted was to throw himself into the hunter's arms. He was so shiveringly, desperately, achingly aware of the person standing behind him that he could barely speak.
Do you know what I'm trying to say, Zero? Do you know that I... that I'm begging you right now?
To Kaname, just trying to make his stand like this was so much more difficult than - than negotiating a tricky contract or solving a problem involving many different parties or brainstorming for a solution. He could run his business with his eyes closed simply because his emotions weren't involved but with Zero, every part of him was involved - his heart, body and soul. He wanted so much for Zero to love him and care for him but at the same time, he didn't want a situation where he had to accept whatever insults the hunter close to fling at him. He knew that Zero had only said those things because he felt betrayed by his own body but Kaname just couldn't take it. He was floundering in the dark. He didn't know how he and Zero could come to an amicable agreement where he could get what he wanted without sounding like he was begging... or sounding like he was issuing a command either. He just wanted Zero to understand his situation. If only Zero could see how difficult this was for him... how he was practically confessing how he felt inside.
Right now, Kaname felt as if his pride was the only thing holding him up. He just prayed that it wouldn't make things worse, that Zero wouldn't take his words the wrong way. But had he said it correctly? It had sounded so rational and understanding earlier... but now it sounded like he was forcing Zero's hand. He didn't want Zero to feel forced. He didn't! Kaname hung his head and closed his burning eyes, desperately trying to hold himself together.
God, I am such a mess!
He had woken up earlier, a little surprised to find himself in bed and without a stitch of clothing on. He knew it was night and he rarely slept past sunset. He was still tired and yet his body was surprisingly relaxed. Kaname turned over and that was when he caught Zero's beloved scent on the pillows and everything came rushing back all at once. He had been through heaven and hell... if not exactly in that order. Kaname closed his eyes as he went through all those emotions all over again starting from the quivering anticipation of Zero's promised bite... leading to the most sensual experience of his life with Zero hugging him from the back and teasing him mercilessly... leading to him unintentionally getting Zero aroused... and ending with the shocked hunter lashing out at him and ordering him to-
Kaname sat bolt upright in bed with a gasp, his wide eyes fixed unseeingly on the chrome and polished wood of the sliding doors of his wardrobe standing against the wall. His head was echoing with the angry words Zero had flung at him. Kaname knew why they had been said but that had not stopped them from hurting him. In fact, Zero - despite his honest caring nature - had offered him a grave insult. A strange little shiver borne of both righteous anger and pain ran through Kaname. His pureblood pride had awakened and was demanding retribution. It rarely ever surfaced in Zero's presence but this time...
How could Zero have said that to me? All I ever did was help him! Instead, he shouted at me and I... oh God.
Kaname shook his head. He swallowed, trying to breathe normally.
He didn't mean to... he just didn't think. But don't think of that now, think of what happened next...
But the memory of that only made Kaname blush deeply in self disgust and mortification, his heart squeezing sharply in protest. He had behaved like Zero's slave, driven to obey his master's every command and what was worse, he hadn't been successful. What was even worse than that was that Zero had gone to find him and had caught him in the act, looking a miserable pathetic sight. No doubt the hunter had stopped his useless action but it had shattered his pride completely. Kaname wrapped his bare arms around himself, shivering even harder. He forced himself to skip those immensely painful and frustrating minutes in the shower.
Don't think of that. Zero found me, didn't he? He helped me...
Kaname pounced on what happened next and felt the vice tightening around his heart let up a little. Zero had been wonderful then. Perhaps it was remorse and nothing else but Kaname knew it had to be much more than that. Zero cared for him and it showed in how he had stopped his futile actions with firm words and a firmer touch. Kaname's eyes fluttered closed and he blushed again. This time though, it was for a sweeter yet more embarrassing reason. He had heard Zero use that parental tone on his children so many times but secretly, Kaname adored it when Zero spoke to him that way. It was strange to be spoken to as if he were no more than a child when he was actually a year older than Zero, when he had always been the one in authority, in control. It was stranger still to like that behaviour instead of taking offense but truthfully... it was the sheer affection behind those words that Kaname craved. It was that which his starving heart soaked up, when it felt like he mattered. He had reveled being carried in Zero's strong arms. He couldn't remember the last time he had been carried like that.
Like he was special.
Like he was cherished.
Like he was perhaps even... loved.
Zero had cuddled him close then and Kaname was too exhausted to do anything more than sit on his lap as the remorseful hunter bit him again but so tenderly, a gentle bite that gave such warm, needed comfort to Kaname. The delicate blush on his cheeks deepened as he at last came to the memory of what had happened next - Zero's gaze, so intent. His voiced out request that Kaname hadn't thought he would ever get to hear. Zero's strong hand on his heated flesh and his breathless voice coaxing Kaname to let go and experience the most intense orgasm of his entire life. And he had, of course. It was... sublime. Dear God, what he wouldn't give to have Zero touch him there again!
Kaname took a deep breath, both hands gripping the stone railing hard. Just thinking of those explosive moments were enough to make his heart beat faster with wanting the impossible again. He hung his head lower, aware that he was shaking. His paper thin composure was already starting to crumble.
Please know what I'm saying, Zero... please!
The hunter's behavior earlier should not be tolerated and yet, Kaname didn't want Zero's apology. He just wanted a promise that the hunter would never act like that again particularly when it was obvious he wasn't truly disgusted with the pureblood's reaction. Kaname didn't want Zero's obeisance despite the cold and angry pureblood vibes he was giving off. He didn't want abject apologies or groveling subservience from this proud caring hunter. He just wanted...
Just accept me as I am, Zero. That's all I'm asking right now.
Still, the tense silence continued. With every passing second, Kaname grew increasingly terrified that Zero would think it necessary to apologise for his knee jerk reaction earlier or worse, call the whole arrangement off and leave. Kaname didn't know what he would do if that happened... it could very well be him on bended knees then.
Zero continued to stare at the pureblood's rigid back, at those shoulders that were so tense beneath that silk shirt... at the slender body that was starting to tremble. Kaname's words spoken in that cool remote voice had hit him hard. They sounded like a warning. Like an ultimatum. He had sounded cold and arrogant but... no, Kaname wasn't like this. He was never cold or arrogant with any of them. He loved them all.
And quite suddenly, the realisation hit Zero so hard he almost gasped aloud. Of course, that was it! Zero shook his head in chagrin at his own stupidity. He had humiliated Kaname earlier - the pureblood was justifiably embarrassed and angry. He was giving Zero a stern warning but truthfully, if that was all he was giving then Zero was being let off very lightly and he knew it. Zero shifted as an uneasy feeling of awe rippled through him. He hadn't really thought that Kaname would actually punish him but to be shown irrefutable proof of this was still a shock.
Still, Kaname had done the right thing in bringing this up. Zero preferred things to be upfront. Absently, his gaze travelled past the rigid shoulders and the taut back, down to the slender hands that were gripping the railing so tightly. Kaname was obviously waiting for his reply and at long last, Zero finally realised what it was his brother-in-law wanted. It was after all, what everyone wanted...
Kaname wasn't issuing him a command or a warning despite his words. He just wanted to be accepted. He had been shamed earlier and was now hiding behind the only thing he had left - his pureblood mask. He couldn't very well deny Zero his blood since he was addicted to the hunter's bite but he didn't want to alienate him further by ordering Zero to bite him again... so really, what other choice did he have left? Zero shook his head as a sheer wave of pure, soft emotion washed over him, making his throat close up. He wondered how he could have been so obtuse. Kaname was begging him in the only way he knew how.
Kaname, you...!
Zero shook his head slowly, somewhat embarrassed to find his eyes starting to smart, of all things. It looked like Kaname was truly incapable of punishing him. Zero knew that the pureblood treasured their friendship and the trust between them but at this very second, he hadn't realised how deep it ran. He also couldn't help the uneasy thought that perhaps Kaname felt something more than mere trust or affection.
Could it be? That Kaname perhaps... no. No. I'm just being ridiculous. He likes my bite and he's a vampire. It arouses him, that's all. He can let go with me because we're family. Because he trusts me. That's all there is to it.
Of course it isn't! Zero's mouth tightened. He ignored the voice in his head, took a deep breath and squared his shoulders. Resolve was growing in him, chasing away the numbing guilt, warming him up and urging him to act. He wanted to make it up to Kaname and it wasn't solely due to guilt but because he wanted to. He just... wanted to.
Yes. I want to.
Zero exhaled loudly as he came to this decision. The sound startled Kaname into swinging around. His eyes widened as Zero started walking towards him, shoulders back and no longer hunched, silver head held up and clear amethyst eyes meeting his fearlessly. Without quite meaning to, Kaname found himself taking a step backwards, stopping when the small of his back bumped into the stone railing behind him. Unconsciously, his hands fisted by his sides. With easy grace, Zero slowly but purposefully wound his way around the small tables and chairs and stopped a bare foot and a half in front of Kaname, all the while holding the increasingly startled brown eyes.
"Kaname," Zero murmured at length with another rueful shake of his head. There was a world of tender exasperation and relief and familiarity in just that one word but it was the sheer, brimming affection contained inside it that made Kaname almost break down right there and then. His breath started to hitch in his throat. He was trying very hard to hold his body ramrod stiff but it was already trembling unforgivably. It was so, so unfair - he was just putty in this hunter's hands...
"Zero-" he tried and broke off with a curse when his voice came out shaky. He hated himself for being so weak. Zero shook his head just once, the starting of a slow rueful smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. It held Kaname completely entranced and he forgot what he was going to say.
"Let me speak now," Zero said quietly, gazing into the brown depths that were now holding just a hint of fear. Kaname stared mutely at him, aware that he was only seconds away from breaking down completely. He stared helplessly into the amethyst depths that now held gentle understanding, resignation and oh, wonders of wonders, a very tender regard.
"You're really something, you know that, Kaname?" Zero said softly. "You... are... really... something."
Kaname gave a shaky sigh of relief at those words but it sounded more like a sob. The brittle cracking facade of his poise vanished and Zero saw the stiff stance relaxing, the creamy skin gaining a soft flush and the dark eyes glowing with hope. Yes... this was the Kaname Kuran he had gotten to know recently.
"Zero, I - I just wanted-" but the rest of Kaname's halting words were cut off when Zero gave a groan and hauled him close, pulling him into an embrace that was much too sudden, much too tight and infinitely, incredibly wonderful. Kaname shuddered as he pressed his face into Zero's shoulder, his shaking arms coming up to encircle the hunter's back.
"You should kill me for what I said earlier, Kaname," Zero whispered into his ear, his voice huskier than he would have liked. "You really should."
The dark head shook adamantly.
"I don't want to," Kaname whispered back. "The last thing I want to do is hurt you, Zero."
Zero pressed his lips to the damp freshly washed hair, taking deep breaths of the shampoo fresh strands.
"But I had hurt you," he mumbled. "I'm sorry. You'd already told me how your body would react but Kaname, I didn't say those things because of that. I... I... I was just so ashamed of my own reaction."
Zero flushed as his confession hung between them. There - he had said it. He had tendered his apology, his olive branch. It was up to Kaname to take it... or step on it. Kaname lifted his head and gazed into the open, intense amethyst gaze, feeling the truth of Zero's words washing over him, softly soothing away the deep hurt carved onto his heart.
"I know that," he whispered. "I know why you said that."
"I'm sorry," Zero repeated. Kaname nodded.
"Zero, do you realise how much - you are the only one who can get away with that, you know?" he whispered. The unbearable sadness in his eyes called to Zero, tugging at his heart painfully and forcing him to face the immense power he unintentionally wielded over this one person whom others would give their right arm to possess. Impulsively, he dragged Kaname into his arms again and held him tightly, burying his face in the dark tresses. "I know I crossed the line. I swear, I won't ever do that again," he vowed. Again, that bone deep shudder went through Kaname.
"I'm sorry too," he whispered.
"It was meant to be the perfect session for you and I bungled it up. Again," Zero murmured, regret evident in his voice. Kaname nodded and then he shook his head. He pulled back a little, a shy smile flitting about his lips as he met Zero's eyes.
"Well, that came later," he murmured and his cheeks grew enchantingly flushed under Zero's startled gaze. In the resulting silence, Zero read the unasked question in the moist brown depths but still, he hesitated.
"Zero...?" Kaname breathed, his heart aching to know Zero's reply. He had finally gotten a taste of heaven and dear God, he would die if he never got that again. Surely Zero wouldn't be so cruel as to deny him just a few crumbs of physical pleasure? It wasn't as if that would make them lovers even if that was what Kaname yearned for but if Zero wasn't... then he was fine with whatever the hunter wanted it to be, even if it was just... comfort. Finally, Zero sighed and met Kaname's expectant, worried eyes.
"I'll still bite you, Kaname, you know that. As often as you want me to," he murmured. Kaname nodded but a wary, almost fearful look had entered his eyes. Zero's shoulders slumped and he sighed again.
"I'll also hold you at the same time. As long as I can. As long as you want me to," he reiterated his promise. A small quivering smile tilted Kaname's perfect lips at those words and Zero was momentarily distracted by that... and by the way those chocolate eyes were starting to glow with hope. Kaname was starting to quiver with sweet, sweet anticipation. Zero was literally torturing him like this, giving him hope in tantalising bits and pieces but the sincerity in those beloved eyes... oh dear God, could Zero be offering just a little bit more? Kaname prayed in his heart, as if he had never prayed before. Then wonders of wonders, Zero smiled. He leaned closer to Kaname, putting his lips right at the pureblood's ear.
"I'll even help you... after... if that's what you want," he mumbled, the innocent words made unbearably erotic by their meaning. Kaname sucked in a breath. He stared wide eyed at Zero when the latter straightened up, looking rather embarrassed.
"Zero - really?" Kaname whispered. The hunter took a step back and shoved his hands in his jeans pockets. He nodded diffidently as he looked rather pointedly at the dark surroundings outside. It wasn't an impulsive decision for him. Not really. It wasn't a guilty reaction either for hurting Kaname. It was just... just something that Zero himself wanted to do, something he only truly admitted to himself once the words were spoken. He was making this decision for Kaname and for himself. It was just... comfort. For both of them. That's all it was. Surely it wasn't enough to burn in hell for, was it?
"And I can... I can help you in turn?" Kaname whispered hopefully. Zero immediately scowled and blushed then shook his head resolutely.
"Nope. I'll take care of it myself," he said firmly. Kaname was disappointed but not really surprised. Instead, he let out a soft, shaky laugh of delight and relief that made Zero look at him suspiciously. Before he could do anything more than blink, Kaname bent forward and pressed a swift kiss onto his cheek.
For now, my beloved hunter. For now.
- Chapter End -