A/N: And so we've reached the last chapter of this arc. There are many moments to come in the ConVerse, but for me, so far, this chapter has been the most rewarding. It feels really, really good putting this out there for you guys to read.
And I'm proud of it. Frankly.
Thank you to everyone who's read thus far. And the comments you've all been making have been sending me to the moon more often than friggin' Apollo. So thank you thank you thank you! As always, a hearty thank you to my friend dettiot for her support during this arc. You're a lovely individual.
Disclaimer: I do not own Chuck. Or its characters.
Enjoy!
The sound of Chuck's laughter thrilled her to no end, and at the same time she felt the pull of melancholia. Something deep inside of her that hadn't gone away, no matter how things seemed to be warming up between Chuck and his sister.
Sarah was glad the awkwardness from the beginning of the night had lessened some as Chuck had helped Devon prepare Ellie's favorite dinner in the kitchen while she stayed in her bedroom. It just so happened to be one of Sarah's favorites as well. And while it had been at the tip of her tongue to say so before Ellie disappeared, she instead bit down on her cheek and watched the twosome work together on the massive dish of eggplant parmesan.
It had been a night of tentative glances in Ellie's direction, and reassuring smiles at Chuck. He looked as though he was becoming concerned, and she knew it was because of her general quietude and failure to participate in the dinner conversation.
She wondered that he would expect her to have anything to say. She didn't know him in high school. She had no idea what he was like in college. She couldn't share in the stories, even though most of the ones Devon told were directed at her. So she just laughed along with a nod, sipping her red wine, biting into the savory marinara and cheese smothered eggplant.
Sarah had almost gotten the courage to start a bit of chit chat with Ellie during dinner when the boys started a conversation between themselves. But as she opened her mouth, Ellie pushed herself up from the table and asked if anybody needed more wine. Sarah wasn't sure if the snub had been purposeful or not, but either way, it obliterated her courage to try again for the rest of the meal.
She understood why Ellie was reluctant to talk to her. It wasn't the most comfortable situation. Ellie's brother had brought his girlfriend to dinner for the first time, and said girlfriend just so happened to be a criminal. It couldn't have been worse, if Sarah really thought about it. And what would Ellie say, anyways? So! Sarah! How's the sheik swindling going? Good?
Sarah had learned very quickly that the best way to keep the tension of the other night from pervading the almost happy vibe of the room was to step back and let the threesome reminisce. She felt foolish for allowing herself to be hurt by being left out of most of their conversations. Chuck and Ellie were siblings. They had raised each other, and they protected each other for most of their lives. Devon had been a part of that for awhile—Sarah knew that Devon and Ellie had met in their first year of college.
There was nothing she could say. So she just listened with a small smile on her face, trying not to refill her wine glass as much as she wanted to.
Then Ellie could be convinced she wasn't just a criminal but an alcoholic as well. Joy.
She felt like crap, frankly. Because the memories they were sharing seemed so meaningful to them. They were such small things, things she couldn't imagine ever having much of an impact on her, at least not enough that she would remember more than a decade later. Things like the time Ellie yelled at the umpire during her softball game because he murmured about her female coach being a bitch. Or the time Chuck got a dent on Ellie's car and tried to paint over it himself.
They were good stories. And she enjoyed them.
But they also reminded her of all of the memories she didn't have. Nice memories. Like learning to ride a bike, or something. Instead of what had actually happened. She'd found a bike in an alleyway that some kid had left while he ran into the shop, and she'd taken it, spending the next week in the community college parking lot teaching herself how to ride it and wrecking one of her only pairs of jeans in the process.
How could she tell that story without sounding like she wanted a damn pity party? She knew that normal people like Ellie and Devon would most likely pity her if they heard about some of the things she'd gone through as a child. But the truth was…to Sarah that was just her life. She knew nothing else. It was like feeling bad for someone who was born allergic to peanuts because they could never taste a peanut butter sandwich without getting sick. If you've never had a peanut, you don't know what you're missing.
Sarah had never had a sibling to play with, pester, or protect. Until Chuck, the only person she protected besides herself was her father...and even then, it wasn't a two-sided deal. She'd been left by him to handle things on her own more times than she could count.
Now that she was here, sitting in this apartment with Chuck, someone who shared so many experiences and memories with other people, people he loved and who loved him back, Sarah Walker found herself yearning for something—anything—she could share with them.
But she had nothing.
And it hurt. A lot.
She could never do this. Be normal. Fit into a niche of people who cared about each other, who had a history. Until Chuck, she'd never cared about even one person the way these people cared about each other. She wasn't made for this sort of thing. She was a great white shark, scouring the seas alone, searching for prey. She couldn't survive in a group.
It had taken her forever just to get used to having a partner.
And as the conversations continued throughout the meal, she sank deeper and deeper into the realization that this life wasn't meant for her.
But it was meant for Chuck.
He had made her feel like the happiest person on earth when he told her she was his home, but a part of her resisted now. Now that she was seeing how natural he was here, laughing with his sister and his brother-in-law, enjoying the home-cooked meal. She hadn't even known Chuck was such a good cook. Because the nature of their life together meant flitting between hotel rooms and rentals where cooking just wasn't an option.
Chuck was...a domestic guy.
Who belonged in a domestic life.
And Sarah was anything but.
He belonged here and Sarah felt more and more with each passing minute she spent with these warm, lovely people that she would never really belong anywhere. She knew she'd dug herself into a hole of self-pity, and that she was being selfish and thoughtless.
Chuck had finally found his happiness. He was here in the bosom of his family. His home.
And here she was sitting beside him, silently moaning over her inherent antisocial nature.
She looked up suddenly as Chuck let out a bark of laughter, his gaze shifting over to her. The happiness in him dimmed a little, replaced by a questioning look. She realized she must look incredibly introspective, or maybe even sad—uninvolved certainly. So she beamed wildly and reached over to set a hand on his knee.
"Thank you for dinner, boys," Ellie said, pulling Sarah out of her gloomy musings.
"Yeah. It was really great," she added, watching with a bit of a sense of urgency as Chuck got up from the table and set his napkin next to his plate.
"I call dish duty," he said, lifting his finger with a grin.
Sarah stood up quickly. "I'll help. I mean, you all did the cooking, anyways. And it's Ellie's birthday."
She avoided looking at the birthday girl in question.
"Nope. Sarah, you're a guest. Sit," Devon ordered, waving for her to sit back down.
A part of her felt a bit downtrodden that Chuck somehow wasn't a guest. And then she felt selfish again. It was a good thing that they considered Chuck to be a part of the family again.
And it was only as Chuck and Devon gathered the plates and moved back into the kitchen, chatting comfortably about whether the cheese made the eggplant parmesan too salty, that she realized she was alone with Ellie.
Just like that, her courage was gone, and she stood from the table, taking a step back. "Um. Would you mind if I used your restroom, Ellie?" she asked, forcing herself to meet Ellie's piercing hazel gaze. It was the first time since Sarah first walked into the apartment and said "Happy Birthday" that she'd addressed the older woman. But in her defense, Ellie hadn't made much of an effort either.
"Down the hall, first door on the left."
"Thank you."
Ellie smiled politely and swirled the wine in her glass.
Sarah's lips twitched and she rushed out of the room, rolling her eyes at herself as she swept down the hallway and locked herself in the bathroom. It was a really nice bathroom.
And this was a really fine mess.
She turned on the sink and watched the jet of water for a few seconds.
What made everything worse was that Chuck and Awesome knew she and Ellie were purposefully avoiding talking to each other. It was so obvious. And they kept exchanging looks. And then Devon would pull a "What do you think about that, Sarah?" or Chuck would turn to her and say, "Oh you're gonna love this one, Sarah".
And it had only made everything worse. So much worse.
Because it made Ellie's obvious dislike of her that much more apparent. She wasn't the only one who recognized it. She wasn't being paranoid. They had seen it, too.
She didn't even know Ellie. All she knew were the stories Chuck had told her here and there. She'd seen her wedding pictures. It was stupid that she wanted her approval so badly. Sarah five years ago would never have cared about what someone like Ellie Woodcomb thought about her lifestyle.
But she wasn't Sarah five years ago. She was Sarah now. She was the Sarah who'd met and fallen for Chuck Bartowski. And he'd made her realize there were things she'd wanted for years. She'd smashed them down with a Thor-sized hammer, hidden them, buried them where she'd never have to deal with them. The need to belong to someone besides herself, for instance. The need to belong, period.
He forced her to dig all of that back up again. And as much as she resented being in the room during all of the story exchanges and the laughing and reminiscing, it also made her want all of it that much more.
And she was just so confused and lost in her head and the cold water on her face was doing absolutely nothing at all to make things better. So she turned off the water and dried her face, taking a moment to look at herself in the mirror, fix her smile, and open the door again.
She almost yelped when she walked into Chuck.
He was standing there waiting, his eyebrow raised.
"Jesus, Chuck. You scared me."
"You okay?" No beating around the bush. Which was a bit new for him.
"Yeah! I'm fine." He gave her a flat look. "Um...no?" she amended.
He took her by the shoulder and backed her into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. "I know she's making things hard for you, Sarah. But I can't do this anymore. I can't pretend like things are going well when they aren't."
"They are, though."
"Really." He gave her that same flat look and she let out an annoyed huff.
"Chuck, this isn't…" She looked at the ceiling in frustration. "This isn't for me. Sitting around a table, reminiscing. I don't...I can't do things like this. And Ellie's right to be reluctant to let me in. I'm—"
"I love you."
She really had nothing she could say to that. So she just stared, eyes wide, lips parted.
"Ellie's not right. I'm happy that things seem to be warming over a little between me and her. That's important to me. She's my sister. But it's just as important for her to accept that I—You know how when you go into a Costco?" What the hell? "And-And you get those giant ketchup bottles? And there are two in a package, you know? And on each bottle, there's a little thing on the label that says 'Not for individual sale'? Ellie needs to realize that's me now."
"You're ketchup?"
"No!" And in spite of everything, she smiled a little at the unamused (but still amused) look he sent her. "I'm not for individual sale. She can't have me without you. She can't let me in and trust me again, if she isn't going to trust you too."
As fantastic as it was to hear him say that, one thing niggled at her. "But we can't force her to trust me. And even if we could, I wouldn't want that."
"Then you have to talk to her. Force her to talk to you, Sarah. You deserve a chance. And I'm telling you right now, she'll come around. Maybe not tonight. Maybe not the next time, or even the time after that. But I know she will someday. Once she comes to terms with the fact that I'm never letting you go."
"Not for individual sale," she said quietly, a small smile on her face. She reached up to stroke her fingers down his jawline. "I like that."
He grinned and swept in to kiss her. They were interrupted by a pounding on the door.
Sarah gasped into his lips and pulled back, covering her mouth as Chuck turned to the door. "Yeah?"
"It's really sweet that you two are using our bathroom for—I don't even know—but I actually have to pee," Ellie's voice rang through the door.
Because Ellie didn't already hate her, now she was caught allegedly making out, or worse, in the bathroom. Classy, Walker.
God, and she hadn't even initiated it!
She moved around Chuck and yanked the door open. "I'm so sorry, Ellie. Chuck just wanted—We just talked. We were talking."
"S'okay." Ellie bounced her shoulder and stepped back as Chuck squeezed out from behind Sarah and grabbed her hand, leading her away from the nonplussed doctor. She heard the bathroom door slam shut as they reached the end of the hallway and she groaned a little to herself.
"Want some wine?" Chuck asked in her ear.
"Do you guys have anything harder? Like vodka?" She realized a bit belatedly that she'd said 'you guys', as though in her mind, she'd already slotted Chuck into living here. She was the guest. She was the outsider. The one who didn't live here. This wasn't her home.
Sarah silently repeated to herself, Not for individual sale, and felt a bit better. Because even if she didn't belong, even if Chuck's family didn't accept her into their ranks, Chuck was a different story.
"Any vodka, Captain Awesome?" Chuck asked when they walked into the kitchen.
"You guys were totally doing it in the bathroom, weren't you?" It was really weird how anybody else would have said that and made it sound really creepy and lecherous, but for some reason, Devon just seemed incredibly excited. Like he was just over the moon that his brother-in-law and said brother-in-law's girlfriend would have sex in his bathroom.
It was weird and funny and a little heartwarming. In an odd way.
"No, I don't—I won't be the best company if I have vodka tonight," she giggled a little awkwardly, waving off the short glass Devon was passing her. He hesitated a bit. "I mean, I don't get mean or anything. I'm not an angry drunk." She grabbed Chuck's arm in a vise grip, wordlessly begging him to smooth things over.
"Sarah gets a bit randy when she gets into the brandy, if you know what I mean," Chuck said, lowering his chin to his chest and looking up at Devon through his eyelashes.
Devon barked out a laugh as Sarah spun on Chuck and slapped him hard across his shoulder. Chuck laughed and cowered a little. "It's true!" he chuckled.
It was. But she wasn't about to admit it. Even in good company. She had to admit, this was the first time she felt like a part of the group. It was the only time Ellie hadn't been in the room all night. Strange, that.
And anyways, any moment, Ellie was going to come back. So she extracted herself from the situation, fighting the blush on her cheeks, and poured herself more wine.
"I don't have to be in here for this," she announced, sweeping out of the kitchen and walking to the front door. "I'm getting some air."
She sent a wink at Chuck over her shoulder so that he'd know she wasn't actually upset. Then she hurriedly stepped outside, shutting the door behind her and leaning against it. She slumped and shut her eyes, taking a deep breath of the cool, crisp air.
Sarah looked around the courtyard, scanning the windows around her and making sure no one was in listening distance, and then she treated herself to a nice, hearty, cathartic "Fuck!"
It left her feeling better for only the moment in which it was coming out of her mouth, but then she was just as confused and annoyed as ever as she dragged her feet over to the fountain and sat heavily on the edge of it.
Hanging her head and trying to force her body to relax, which was as counterproductive as it sounded, Sarah let her mind go blank, focusing on the wine moving back and forth as she tilted the glass one way and then the other.
It was almost hypnotizing. Comforting.
She was feeling a little better.
And then the door opened and Ellie stepped out, looking not in the least bit timid, but certainly reluctant, and even cautious. It hurt.
She wasn't feeling better at all.
Ellie shut the door behind her and took a few steps. "You mind if I join you, Sarah?"
"Not at all," she lied, scooting over to make room for Ellie, even though there was all the room in the world for her to sit on either side.
"Thanks."
Ellie sat down about a foot away and pulled her knees close to her chest, resting her hands on her thighs. "Look, Sarah…I've been really difficult tonight and I should apologize."
"No…You've been fine."
Ellie gave her a flat look that resembled Chuck's so much it nearly knocked Sarah right off her seat. "I've been a bitch."
"Well, I haven't been very receptive, either. So I'm sorry, too."
Ellie was silent, gnawing on her cheek, and then she turned to face Sarah head on and Sarah had no choice but to reciprocate. "This is just really tough for me."
"Right." Sarah nodded.
"And it's not just you. It's the thought of Chuck being okay with this lifestyle. He's okay with breaking the law, like that isn't...I don't know, bad. It's not the way I brought him up." She let out a heavy breath.
Sarah fiddled with the stem of her wine glass. "He was put in a difficult situation when he was still at an impressionable age. That's how most people get into the con game. And they're forced to leave home. Eventually it becomes the only way of life they know. It's hard for you to see because you are...different. I guess."
"Hm. It isn't fair that this is what he's chosen. I sound selfish. But it just isn't fair. It isn't fair to me. I made a lot of sacrifices for him to have a good life."
"Chuck knows that. He's grateful, Ellie. But he—he's made sacrifices too. It's difficult to see that because of the profession he's chosen."
"Is it a profession?" she asked bitterly. Sarah looked away and felt herself flush in what might have been shame but she couldn't be too sure. "I'm sorry." Ellie's hand was on her forearm, a ghost of a touch. "I don't mean to be insulting. Chuck really loves you. It's seriously obvious. And I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that he's a…" She lowered her voice. "...con artist. And that he's dating a girl who's just as deep in that business as he is. It's scary."
"It is scary sometimes," Sarah admitted quietly. She bit her lip, then set her glass down at her feet and looked straight into Ellie's eyes. "But it's what he's chosen. I don't know if he'll change his mind. Maybe one day." Maybe one day he'll leave me. She shook that out of her thoughts immediately. Not for individual sale. "But right now, that's just how it is."
"I know. It just sucks."
Sarah nodded.
"I guess since I'm stuck in this situation, I should probably try to embrace it, huh?" Stuck? Sarah could only nod again, trying not to be hurt by the idea that Ellie felt like she was "stuck" with her. Like if Chuck wasn't adamant about having Sarah in his life, Ellie would have no problem casting her off.
Ellie ran her hands over her face and let out a frustrated moan. "Can I ask you something?"
No.
"Anything."
Ellie looked at her and smiled a little. "What happened to you?"
"I'm sorry?"
"I mean, the whole con artist thing. Chuck was tricked by his bastard professor and got trapped into it. But what happened to you? How'd you get into it?" She paused and Sarah looked at her lap, wanting to just get up and run away and never turn back. "I'm sorry. I know that's really private. But you're my brother's girlfriend. And it seems like he's really serious about you, you know? Like, really serious. And I just want to know a little bit about you, I guess."
Sarah nodded. "No, I-I know. I just—I don't talk about myself all that much."
"Wait, does Chuck know?"
"What?"
"How you got into the con game? Have you told him?"
"He knows. He knows everything. For the most part. I mean…"
"A girl's gotta keep some mystery in the relationship," Ellie finished for her with a small smile. "I get that. So...I guess I could ask another question instead. If—"
"No. It-It's okay. You'll just be the second person I've told. Maybe that'll make it easier," she said a bit lamely. Ellie's smile was suddenly warmer and it was nice. Really nice. "I was actually born into it, believe it or not. I was a part of my dad's cons ever since my mom left us."
"Oh. How old were you when she left?"
"God, maybe—I must have been four or five. My dad's behavior was a bit much for her to take, I think. And for some reason, I must not have fit into her life plan. So she left me with my dad."
"What do you mean, his behavior?"
Sarah knew she should feel some sort of sting of regret from it, but her past was just...how it was. So she shrugged, seemingly nonplussed. "He wasn't really a one woman type of guy. And he drank sometimes."
"Your mom left you with a womanizing drunk?" Ellie asked in disbelief.
The younger woman had no urge to defend her mother. Because it was true. She had left Sarah with a womanizing drunk. "Yep. And my dad was already a con artist by then, so instead of being able to disappear and leave me with my mom, he had to find an alternative. Which meant I had lots of babysitters until I was old enough to handle myself."
Ellie looked like she was afraid to ask, but she did anyways. "How old were you?"
"Nine or so." She looked away from Ellie, unable to handle it if there was pity in the other woman's gaze. "I was totally fine on my own when my dad went away, and that was only when he didn't take me with him on jobs. I was a good asset to a con man."
"Cute little blonde with big blue eyes, huh?"
Sarah smirked. "Guess so. But a neighbor found out I was home alone a lot of the time and reported my dad. I got taken away and got tossed around facilities for awhile. My dad always found me, though, and took me away. It was always like a vacation. I'd get a new name. I'd get to pretend to be somebody totally different. It was fun."
Ellie was sitting beside her, not saying anything, her lips pressed tightly together and her hazel eyes quivering with emotion. But Sarah was glad there wasn't any pity. It said a lot about Ellie's character, and it was no wonder Chuck turned out the way he had. His sister was just as special as he was.
She shouldn't have been surprised.
"So that's about it, really."
"This is all you've known. Your whole life."
Sarah shrugged one shoulder. "Yeah."
"What do you think would happen if somebody threw you into a waitressing uniform and stuck you in a restaurant? Oh my God, that was so sexist!" Ellie blurted. "Instead of making you a waitress, let's go with, um, a newspaper editor?" She shook her head and Sarah was reminded of Chuck a little. He tended to think out loud just like this sometimes. It was cute on him. And cute on Ellie.
"Whether I was a waitress or a newspaper editor, I could pull it off for a bit. But I'd go stir crazy."
"Are you one of those thrill seeker type people? An adrenaline junky?"
"I can be. But that's not why I do this. I do this because I'm really good at it."
Ellie bobbed her head once. "Chuck told me what you did."
Sarah felt a spike of nerves. "What I did?"
"To get him here. How you punked those dickheads who wanted to hurt him." Sarah smiled in amusement at that. "He didn't tell me how you did it, exactly. Only that you—you didn't kill them. He was telling the truth, right?"
"Would I be allowed to date your brother if I had killed them?" Sarah couldn't help but ask, half-serious.
Ellie shrugged, her features a bit guarded. "They wanted to kill my brother. I don't know how easy it would be for me to keep myself from really doing some damage. At the very least. But…" She chuckled mirthlessly. "Sarah, I could never tell my brother who to date."
"Yeah. He's kinda stubborn."
"So am I. But we tend to cancel each other out. He can't tell me what to do and I can't tell him what to do." Ellie shook her head. "But the point is…I'm grateful for what you did. And appreciate everything you went through. And I…" She sighed. "I kind of admire you for keeping him in the dark about it for as long as you did. I was thinking about it yesterday morning after I got off the phone with Chuck and...Chuck's so annoyingly selfless. He'll do anything for the people he loves, sometimes to a fault if the last seven years are any indication. But when someone tries to do something for him, especially something as big as what you did, he refuses to accept their help."
Sarah nodded emphatically. "Exactly."
"I was just thinking you must...you must really, really know him. Because if you'd told him what you were doing while you were doing it, he would never have let you go through with it. And then he wouldn't be here now."
The con artist gave Chuck's sister a secret smirk. "I can be pretty stubborn, too, though. And persuasive. I think I would have eventually gotten him here."
Ellie laughed. "Persuasive, huh? I bet. Don't take this the wrong way, but I never expected Chuck to end up with a girl as gorgeous as you are. You're seriously gorgeous. If I hadn't been so focused on The Ghost of Brothers Past standing in front of me, I think I would have fainted from the shock."
"Hey, Chuck's not exactly Quasimodo," Sarah said, unable to keep from blushing at Ellie's compliment.
"No, of course not. He's a handsome boy. He's related to me, after all, so he's bound to be good looking." She smirked and Sarah chuckled. "I just mean, you're seriously stunning and Chuck's—Well, he's always had a bit of an issue with self-confidence. Confidence in general."
"He's gotten better."
"Apparently."
Sarah couldn't help but let out an amused smile at that. "Maybe I'm...This might not be something I should say…"
"Please. Sarah. My brother is a con artist and he's been funneling money into my bank account for my med school tuition through a phony foundation he created himself. Don't hold back now."
Biting her lip, she nodded. "It's just that...Chuck's unbelievably brilliant. And he's a great partner. Better than great. If you knew the things he's done…" Ellie raised an eyebrow and Sarah grimaced a little. "Well, maybe we'll ease you into that."
"That's probably for the best."
"Yeah." Sarah nervously tucked her hair behind her ear. "Listen, Ellie. I know it seems like your brother has maybe gone nuts in a lot of ways, and maybe you think he's changed a lot from the guy you knew seven years ago." She made sure to catch Ellie's eye and keep it as she continued. "But I can tell you without a doubt that he is still the best person I have ever met." Ellie looked a bit dubious. "I know. I'm a con artist. I lie for a living. But you're Chuck's family and he's...he's my family." That sounded so good, calling Chuck her family. And she thought maybe this might have been the first time she'd said it out loud. "I wouldn't lie to you, Ellie. Because you're Chuck's sister. I wouldn't lie to you any more than I'd lie to Chuck. I mean...not anymore."
"I just don't know how Chuck could still be the same guy I knew. Not if he's willingly doing this stuff."
"I didn't know Chuck when he was at Stanford. We only met a little over three years ago. But I know him now. And I get that I may not have been surrounded by the greatest people throughout my life, starting with my dad who might be one of the biggest louses to ever exist." She let out a sad huff and looked down at her hands. "So maybe I'm not the best judge of character. All I know is that when I need him, he's there. No exceptions. He doesn't ask for anything in return. He's just—He's there. Always." Her voice quivered at the end and she had to stop to collect herself. "There has never been anyone in my life like that. Not before Chuck. I've never had anyone just be there for me. So, yeah. He is a good person. I think he's the best person. You say he was a better person back then and I can't dispute that because I didn't know him then—but I really can't imagine him being any better of a person than he is now, Ellie."
Sarah didn't realize there were tears leaking down her cheeks until she sniffled and looked up at Ellie. The older woman had that concerned line between her eyebrows, the one Chuck got sometimes. And it was so familiar that she just barely stopped herself from crumbling into Ellie's arms.
Instead, she wiped at her face and pressed her hands between her knees. "Sorry."
"No, don't—It's okay. You don't have to apologize for saying nice things about my brother, Sarah." Ellie sat back a little, mimicking Sarah's pose unconsciously. "He's always been unfailingly selfless. I'm glad he still has it where his loved ones are concerned. Even if he's a con artist." She laughed and covered her face. "God, that sounds so weird."
"I promise you, that story you told about Chuck being sent to the principal's office when he was eight for punching that kid sounded pretty weird." Picturing little curly haired Chuck sticking up for his best friend was one thing. But imagining him actually hitting a bully was another.
"Poor Morgan." Ellie snorted softly and shook her head.
There was a momentary silence between them. Sarah snuck a glance up at Chuck's sister and found the woman's eyes on her. She refused to look away, even when Ellie narrowed her eyes thoughtfully. "This is really hard."
Sarah nodded. "It is hard." Ellie raised an eyebrow and Sarah pushed her hair behind her ear again and ducked her head a bit timidly. "But Chuck was...He was devastated when he found out he missed your wedding."
Ellie's hazel eyes quivered with emotion again. "Yeah, well. I walked myself down the aisle on my wedding day. So there was that."
"I'm sorry, Ellie."
The young woman just shrugged and looked at the stones beneath her feet. "Still the happiest day of my life. It was like I'd imagined it since I was nineteen years old. When I met Devon. Just...without Chuck. That was something I'd never thought would be in question. But..." She shrugged again.
"It was hard watching him when he found out. He tried to hide it from me but I knew he was hurting." Ellie opened her mouth to defend herself, Sarah thought, so she cut her off quickly. "He never resented you. Not even for a second. He knew someday you two would have to get married. And I mean, Devon told Chuck in Santa Clara two years ago that he was going to propose."
"What?"
Sarah's eyes widened. "Um…"
"He knew he was going to propose way back then? He waited a long time before he actually did it, that jerk…" Ellie giggled. Sarah liked the sound. It made her smile to hear it, to see Ellie's happiness. The muscle-bound positivity machine that was Devon Woodcomb really was Captain Awesome. "I knew I was gonna marry him when we met, though."
Sarah could only nod, because this was getting slightly uncomfortable. She wasn't used to talking about things like this. Chatting with another woman about domestic things like marriage and settling down.
"What about you and Chuck?"
Sarah felt her heart seize in her chest. "We haven't—I don't—I mean, we've never…"
"Sarah." Ellie laughed. "Don't freak out. I wasn't talking about wedding bells. Which...Actually, I'm kinda surprised I wasn't. Sometimes weddings are all I can talk about. It's a thing. But I meant how'd you meet? I mean, how do con artists meet and fall in love?"
"Uh...oh. Um…" Sarah shrugged for what felt like the hundredth time. "We both went for the same con, I beat him to it, and uh…"
"What?" Ellie was leaning close.
"He tried to sneak into my bedroom to steal the money from me."
"Are you kidding me?!"
"Nope. And he failed. I was, um, fortunate enough to have been wearing almost nothing and I got the drop on him because he was…"
"Distracted?" In spite of Ellie's obvious distaste for the profession, she snorted, her eyes far-off as if she were imagining Chuck in that situation. "What a dumb ass."
"I know, right?" Sarah heard a giggle come out of her own mouth and almost clamped her hand over her lips in surprise.
"Did you kick his ass?"
She smirked. "Kinda. He was...confusing. And weird. And...surprising. So it was difficult to kick his ass as hard as I wanted to."
"Surprising?"
"He came in with a tranquilizer gun, first of all. Which was...new for me. And then he was just...He somehow managed to charm me into...not hurting him." She thought it would probably be a bad move to tell Ellie the full truth about that night. That she'd meant to kill him for trying to steal her take. God, what would her life be now if she'd followed through? She felt sick just thinking about it, so she moved on quickly. "He only needed a few minutes to get under my skin."
"You guys became partners."
"No. I left him there and took my money. But he somehow tracked me down a few months later for a team gig. It was after that when I decided having a partner with his skill sets might prove to be beneficial."
"And you loved him."
"I don't really know. I can't remember." She could remember. And she had loved him. Maybe not completely. Maybe it was only a spark. But she'd known in London that night, when she looked up at him in the dim streetlights, that she needed him in her life. She just didn't know the full extent of what that might mean.
She knew now.
"Wait, so you guys were just partners? Really?"
"Yeah."
"I can't imagine that. Chuck…"
"What?"
"It's just that I know him. Even after all of this time. And the way he looks at you, it just seems like he's loved you for years."
He has. I'm just a stupid ass.
"I didn't think it was a good idea for us to be involved and I didn't really have those feelings for him."
"And now?"
"I care about him. I have feelings for him. I changed my mind." She shrugged.
"Just like that?"
No, not just like that. It was gradual. Well, not the loving him part. But the changing her mind part. And it had taken seeing a trail of Chuck's blood on the floor of that hotel room, seeing him battered and bruised when she'd feared he was already dead, torn between being relieved that he was still alive and heartsick that he was injured so terribly. She'd loved him for so long, but something snapped that night.
"I guess I just had a realization."
"That is kinda how it works."
"Yeah."
They were silent for a few moments and Sarah saw Ellie idly play with the hem of her blouse. She really was very pretty, with the way her hair framed her face, her vibrant eyes, and a figure that had been partially hidden by the frumpy scrubs she'd been in the other night when Sarah first met her.
"If I ask you a question, will you be honest with me?" Ellie asked, breaking her from her reverie.
"Of course."
"I mean one hundred percent, complete honesty."
That made Sarah nervous but she nodded anyways. She was, after all, the best liar in the world. And that thought made her feel a little guilty.
"What you guys do...is it as dangerous as Chuck refuses to tell me? I mean, have you guys done...time?"
"You mean have we gone to prison?" Sarah asked, hoping to deflect the question for as long as possible. Because she wasn't sure if she could tell Ellie the truth. How many times Sarah had set Chuck's dislocated shoulders, or treated his wounds. The people who were dead now instead of her, because she'd been quicker to draw than they had been.
"Yeah."
"No. We haven't. I came close once or twice before Chuck was in the picture."
"But you can get hurt."
"In any line of work, you can get hurt. You can get hurt crossing the street or merging on the freeway. You can get hurt going to a baseball game. There's no way to protect yourself from everything all the time."
"Come on, Sarah. You guys are stealing. Federal crime. If you're caught, you both end up in prison."
"It's a risk, yeah. But life's full of risks."
It sounded lame even to her, but Ellie just sighed and leaned her elbow on her knee, holding her chin in her hand. "When my mom left I made a promise. I promised to take care of Chuck. Then Dad started going off doing who knows what, disappearing on us. And I promised Chuck I would protect him from everything. I know it was stupid. Promising to protect him from everything. But I tried. And I succeeded for the most part, but then—God, how do I protect him from this? How do I protect him when he's out there purposefully throwing himself into risky situations? I can't." She shook her head. "I can't protect him from this and that drives me crazy."
Chuck had called Ellie a control freak once. And Sarah saw it now. With Chuck being involved in something that included so much risk, Ellie no longer had the ability to keep things the way she wanted. She no longer had the ability to make sure Chuck was safe. And like hell would she trust someone else to keep him safe. Like hell would she trust Chuck to keep himself safe.
Sarah couldn't judge her for it. In a lot of ways, she herself had some control freak tendencies.
"That's where I come in," Sarah replied.
Ellie just turned her head to look at her, the older woman's gaze appraising as she studied her closely.
"I swear to you that I will never let anything happen to him. I swear on my life." Sarah meant it with every fibre of her being, and she stared right into Ellie's eyes to make sure the doctor got the full force of her promise.
"I just can't lose him. Again. For good."
Sarah took a deep breath. "Neither can I. I understand why you feel like you can't trust me. But at least believe me when I promise you that I will protect him."
"I don't want to lose him," Ellie breathed, her chin shaking.
"I'm not going to let that happen. I'll die first."
Ellie blinked, and then something happened. Sarah wasn't entirely sure what it was. But she saw the tension in the other woman's shoulders fade slowly, her face soften. "I believe you."
"Thank you."
"I should be thanking you. It's because of you that I've got my brother back."
It's because of me he isn't staying for good, Sarah thought to herself. She still had some doubts, but she pushed them off to the side. "Devon sending your wedding photos was what convinced me. I couldn't just sit by and watch him when he was like that. He was...filled with regret and guilt. It hurt so bad seeing him that way."
"I can imagine." Ellie's voice was heavy with emotion, her eyes lined with tears that hadn't yet fallen.
"When you love someone that much, you do anything to make them happy."
"I'm glad you feel that way." Ellie scooted a bit closer. "Thank you for bringing my brother home, Sarah." The doctor's hand settled on her arm and squeezed. "You have no idea how important he is to me."
Yes, I do.
Chuck was literally the most important thing in the world to her. The only important thing. As imperative as eating and breathing.
"You think you two will be alright?" Sarah heard herself ask quietly.
"Yes."
"Even if he continues to be a con artist?"
Ellie shrugged. "As ridiculous as it is, as much as I hate it right now, he's my family. My only brother. There isn't anything in this world that will keep us from being alright eventually. I'm still unbelievably pissed at him, don't get me wrong. He fucked up." She blushed a little. "Sorry."
"Please," Sarah snorted. "Don't apologize."
Ellie smirked a bit. "Chuck and I will be fine."
"And...Maybe it's too soon. And I totally understand if it is. But do you think someday in the future...maybe you and I will be alright?"
The doctor was quiet, staring at her feet for a long while, leaving Sarah to sweat.
"Maybe. I have to figure out a way to get over the fact that you're probably a big reason why Chuck is choosing to stay in this life he's chosen. But in all honesty, I feel like he couldn't be safer than he is with you. And that's comforting, at least."
That was so much better than Sarah had expected, so she beamed in a way that caused Ellie to light up a little. "He is safe with me. I promise."
"My brother's apparently trusting you with more than just your partnership. He's a complete goner over you."
"I'm not much better."
"I can tell. I couldn't before. But I think I resented you too much." Ellie winced. "Sorry."
"It-It's okay." Sarah shrugged. "It's difficult for me to say because of...so many reasons, really, but...I'm really and truly in love with Chuck. Nothing will ever change that."
Ellie smiled. "Good."
The door to the apartment opened suddenly and Chuck's tall frame was silhouetted in the light streaming out from behind him. "Captain Awesome is making root beer floats and he would like to know if either of you lovely ladies would like to join. I'm having two, sooo…"
Sarah felt ridiculous for the sudden flood of emotion at seeing him standing there. It was so powerful that she was almost a little dizzy. His grin was so infectious that she felt herself match it with a glowing smile of her own.
"I'm not a fan of root beer and Devon knows this," Ellie deadpanned.
Sarah was unable to keep from marveling at the slight similarity between herself and Chuck's sister. She hated root beer. And apparently they both had a thing for eggplant parmesan, too. Perhaps there was hope. Basing that off of soda and Italian food felt a bit silly, but at the moment she didn't care, because Chuck looked incredibly happy.
"Yes. He knew this, El. Which is why he's got ginger ale at the ready!"
"Ginger ale?" Sarah asked dubiously.
"I know you hate root beer, too, you beautiful bad ass, so there's a can of G.A. for you too." He winked and put his hands against either side of the door frame. "Come on! The bubbles will die before you two get your keisters in here."
He disappeared back inside, leaving the door open.
Sarah stood up and brushed at the back of her jeans, turning to watch as Ellie did the same.
They walked inside together, enjoying their respective floats and chatting over some indie music Ellie turned on in the background. Ellie eventually tried to wrangle her husband into breaking out the hard liquor for her birthday, but by that time, all four of them were ready for the night to end.
Ellie's morning shift had been hectic, she explained as she walked them to the door at a quarter to one.
The foursome stood at the open door and Ellie shifted her weight back and forth, her hands clasped in front of her. "So you guys—Uh, how long you in town?" she asked, her big eyes hopeful.
Chuck's brown eyes were just as hopeful as he turned them on Sarah and she couldn't help but exchange a warm smile with Awesome at their Bartowski's. That thought made her feel more optimistic than anything else had that whole night.
"We don't have any plans," Sarah answered easily.
"So you'll stay for a bit?"
"Absolutely."
She could feel how much Chuck wanted to gather her up in his arms, even standing a few inches away from him. He was radiating warmth. And she forced herself not to meet his gaze.
Instead, Ellie flew over the threshold and hugged Chuck tightly. "I'll see you soon, Charles Irving."
He chuckled and returned the sentiment as Devon darted around the siblings and gathered Sarah up in a bear hug that felt really, really good. Even though her arms were a bit smashed against her sides. And her feet dangled a few inches above the ground.
And then Chuck and Devon were hugging and Sarah was looking at Ellie.
She almost stuck her hand out for Ellie to shake, but the woman's arms were around her. The hug was tentative, sure. But it happened just the same.
Before the tears threatening showed in her eyes, Sarah pulled back and thanked them, walking with Chuck across the courtyard, holding his hand so tightly she thought both of them might be losing circulation.
But he didn't complain.
And when she leaned over the console of the car and kissed him with everything she had in her, he didn't complain.
Instead, he wrapped her up in his arms until she was drowning in him.
Things weren't perfect. Maybe things would never be perfect. But God, she felt like things were the closest to perfect they'd ever been in her life. And if she could just hold onto this feeling forever, she'd be okay.
Sarah Walker found a place to belong after all. In the future. Someday.
And it was never too late to make memories.
A/N: That's it!
For now.
Please let me know how you liked it! I'd love to hear from you! Thanks again!
SC