FIVE MINUTES OF TITS OR GTFO
by an awesome blossom
Girls can't join boy clubs.
The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess is property of Nintendo and co.
"This is sexist! SEXIST!" Beth nearly wailed in frustration with her hands balled at her sides. "You can't have a 'boys only' club! I'm telling!"
Talo crossed his arms. "We can, too! You and Ilia have a little club, and so do we!"
"What? What are you talking about? We do not have a club!"
Malo squinted his already beady eyes. "You two talk to each other."
"That's talking! TALKING! TALKING IS NOT A CLUB!"
"Either way, you're not joining ours!"
Colin looked worried and finally spoke out. "Guys...why can't Beth join?"
"Because she is of the female persuasion and I do believe this is a XY-chromosome club," Malo answered.
Talo raised his brow. "What the hell'd you just say?"
Sighing, Malo rolled his eyes. "'Cause she's a girl, and girls can't be in a boys only club."
Colin continued to look worried. "What's the difference?"
"Between boys and girls?"
"Yeah."
Beth scoffed. "Boys are stupid, and girls aren't."
"We also have penises!" Talo offered brightly.
"And girls," Malo finished, "have tits."
"T-ti...hey!" Beth said angrily, "what do you guys know about those anyway?!"
Colin shrugged while Talo scratched his head. "I don't know, they're like...moms have them...or something."
"They rock," came Malo's answer.
"So...if tits rock, why can't Beth join our club?" Colin said with great hesitation, not even knowing what exactly he was asking.
Malo scratched his chin. "Good point. Beth, show us your tits or you can't be in our club."
"WHAT?" Beth nearly screeched as her face turned an embarrassed and angry red. Fortunately she spied Link coming around the corner. "LINK! Help me please! The boys are saying I can't join their club unless I flash them!"
Colin looked confused. "That's not what we..."
"You know," Link began with a strange look on his face, "I don't think you have any yet..."
"Oh," Talo murmured, downtrodden.
"So," Colin began cheerfully, "this means Beth can join our club then, right? Because girls have tits and Beth doesn't have any."
"Well fuck that," Malo murmured, "This club sucks; I'm leaving."
Link sighed and covered his face, hoping he wouldn't hear more of this story later from one of the parents...