A/N: Hey everyone, I just want to say thank you so much for reading. It means the world to me! I hope you enjoy. :)

Chapter 21

"This isn't right."

"Mmhmm."

"We need to stop."

"Yeah, okay."

"Seriously though—"

"Okay, seriously?" Kurt pulled away, exasperated. "You're literally saying that with my shoulder in your mouth."

Blaine looked up guiltily. Kurt's skin shined where Blaine's tongue had made a path from his neck to his collarbone and, as Kurt mentioned, to his shoulder.

"Do you even want to do this?" Kurt asked, sounding more hurt than angry. He crossed his arms over his chest.

Blaine sighed. Kurt had every right to ask him that question. It had been four days since he kissed him, and they'd hooked up every day since then, each time with a constant stream of denial and guilt being issued from Blaine's mouth.

Each time Kurt either ignored him or agreed with him, doing whatever it took to make sure Blaine didn't stop, but enough was enough. Kurt wanted Blaine back, but not if it meant constant second-guessing from Blaine and insecurity for himself.

"Yes, I do," Blaine said firmly. "It's just…I don't know…"

Kurt stood up from the bed. Usually it was Kurt who would seek out Blaine at his home over the last few days, but this time Blaine came to him, which made Kurt all the more upset about Blaine's vocalized doubts.

"Well let me help you out," Kurt stated, knowing that he was endangering all of the work he'd put into recommitting to Blaine. "You like screwing me, but you don't want a relationship with me, did I get that right?"

"No, I mean yes, I like…making love to you—"

Kurt scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"But yeah, maybe I'm not ready to, you know, be with you yet. In a relationship."

Kurt's jaw hung open. He couldn't believe Blaine just admitted that. If he thought about it though, of course Blaine admitted it. He was never much of a liar, because he never really tried to lie. Blaine was the most honest person he knew, almost to a fault.

"Unbelievable. So you're using me then, that's it?" Kurt replied in a shaky voice on the edge of yelling. He started pacing the room.

Blaine stood up and put his arm out to stop Kurt in his tracks.

"I was under the impression that we were using each other," he stated firmly. "You're the one who sought me out, you're the one who showed up at my door—"

"With a plate of cookies," Kurt retorted incredulously. "You're the one who kissed me. Where have I heard that one before?"

Blaine threw his hands in the air in frustration.

"You know what? This is exactly why I can't be in a relationship with you. It's either fight or screw, that's all we're good for together."

Blaine knew he'd gone too far when he saw the look on Kurt's face. "I—"

"We were more than that," Kurt said softly, hot tears welling up in his eyes. "You know we were more than that."

Blaine wanted to leave. He wanted to storm out and forget the last few days, but he forced himself to stay. He'd been running for too long and he was tired of it. Instead, he went back and sat on the edge of the bed, gesturing for Kurt to join him. After a few reluctant seconds, Kurt sat beside Blaine silently, their thighs touching, his arms still tightly crossed over his chest.

"I know we were," Blaine admitted. "But sometimes it feels like all I can remember is the edges of our relationship. The best and the worst. Don't you feel that way? You even said it to me before your first mission with Rescue, don't you remember? At the end there, all we ever did was fight and make up."

"The end," Kurt repeated with a heavy sigh. "It was hardly the beginning. We've known each other for less than six months, and look where we are."

The look of despondence on Kurt's face nearly broke Blaine's heart. It was hard to believe that six months ago, Blaine had been in the dormitories, preparing for graduation and his new life. He hadn't met Kurt, let alone fallen in love with him. At the same time, it felt like he'd known Kurt his whole life.

"Time doesn't matter," Blaine said. "I've known you forever, in my heart."

Kurt looked up at him skeptically.

"Okay, that was really, really cheesy," he said with a laugh, earning a small smile from Kurt. Blaine took that as a sign to keep going. "I really want to make this work with you. I wasn't sure about that until the other night when you came over. But it scares me, Kurt. I don't like who I became trying to please you."

"You shouldn't have to change who you are to make me happy," Kurt replied.

"You're right, I shouldn't," Blaine agreed. "So if we're going to try this again, I need to know that who I am is enough for you."

Kurt stopped himself from answering too quickly. He didn't want Blaine to think he wasn't listening to him.

"Of course you're enough," Kurt answered after a few beats. "You've always been enough. I was too dumb and blind to see it, but I'm really trying to be better for you."

Blaine shook his head.

"What? What did I say?" Kurt asked.

"You can't change yourself for me either," Blaine answered. "Of course, I'm relieved you're not doing Rescue anymore, but if you made that decision for me, then you're just going to end up resenting me. I'd rather you go back than know you're making yourself miserable on account of me."

"No," Kurt shook his head. "That came out wrong. I'm making myself better in general. The rescue team isn't healthy for me, I see that now. It took losing you to realize it, but I'm starting to learn how to take better care of myself. And I hope that changes how you see me too."

Kurt reached out tentatively and grabbed Blaine's hand, half expecting Blaine to pull back. Instead, Blaine squeezed his hand hard and put his other hand on top of it.

"Are we doing this?" Kurt asked, deathly afraid of the answer.

Blaine drew a deep shaky breath. "I'm ready to try."

Kurt felt like his heart could leap out of his chest at any moment. He was sure that Blaine could see it beating against his ribcage.

"With a few conditions," Blaine added. This time, Kurt couldn't stop himself from nodding immediately. He didn't trust himself to speak just yet.

"First, you sleep here, and I sleep at my place, for at least three months."

Kurt swallowed hard. He was hoping they would be able to jump right back in and pick up where they'd left off.

"We need boundaries, Kurt," Blaine added, as if reading Kurt's mind. "At least while we're figuring this all out."

"Agreed," Kurt affirmed reluctantly, biting his lip.

"Second, I want to go on a date at least once a week."

"A date? But how? It's not like there's a movie theater around the corner."

"That's for you and me to figure out. Every other week you'll take me out and every other week I'll take you out," Blaine explained. "I want to court and be courted."

Kurt still didn't quite understand, but he chuckled at Blaine's explanation and nodded, "Okay."

"And third, I want complete honesty. I don't want to have to guess at what's on your mind or what you've been doing with your spare time. You know I'll be honest with you, but I need to have the same assurance from you. I need to know I can trust you."

Kurt stared into the eyes of his beloved and solemnly nodded. "You have my word," he stated firmly, squeezing Blaine's hand for emphasis.

"Okay," Blaine said shakily. "Okay then."

And with that Kurt knew that all of his hard work was starting to pay off. He knew that the hardest part lay still ahead of him, but the first hurdle had been cleared. Blaine had agreed to give him another chance, and he would not wreck it this time. This time, he would have Blaine back for good.