Worship the Writer! Ch4

Miku: "Look, Kaito's back."

Luka: "So how did it go?"

Kaito: "I... have no idea. I've tried to wipe that experience from my mind. I don't even know how I got back here. Last thing I remember is Wolfie being ready to give a 'divine message.'"

Miku: "What? How?"

Kaito: "Via a microphone located on my throat apparently."

Luka: "Why was there...?"

Kaito: "Don't ask."

Meiko: "Does that mean he heard...?"

Kaito: "No, he had them turned off."

Miku: "Them?"

Kaito: "He wrote one onto all of in case of an emergency."

Miku: "So my husubandu has bugged us all?"

Misty: "He's always bugging me."

Miku: "Shut up Misty."

Luka: "I knew he was as paranoid as..."

Miku: "Don't do another comparison, it didn't work last time."

Luka: "Okay, he's super paranoid, but I didn't think he was that paranoid."

Miku: "Really? I'm not surprised really. Well actually I am, I'm just surprised he didn't attach yaoi-sensors to us all."

Misty: "But then you'd have your gaydar going off whenever you went near me."

Miku: "Point, but I thought I told you to shut up."

Misty: "You didn't pass your diplomacy check."

Miku: "It was an intimidate check, and yes I did."

Misty: "Hang on, 15+5+13=33. My DC is 32... ah, okay you wi..." Suddenly goes mute.

Miku: "Better."

Luka: "Haven't we slightly overdone the D&D references?"

Miku: "Maybe, but they're easy to throw into just about every situation we end up in."

Luka: "Why don't we try to go a whole chapter without making them."

Miku: "But that will involve making will checks against the temptation to make them, but then we have to take a will check to stop ourselves making the will check reference, and then..."

Luka: "Okay, we get the idea."

Kaito: "How did you just waste over 100 more words on more D&D?"

Miku: "Because the plot progression in this is complete shit, thanks largely to Wolfie not pre-planning what's going to happen in the story."

Kaito: "That might explain it."

Miku: "So... did you find anything out in there?"

Kaito: "Well, I found out that the majority of the people worshipping Wolfie are Nico Nico rejects."

Miku: "Nico Nico rejects?"

Kaito: "Yeah. Do you have an idea?"

Miku: "Yes actually. Misty, do you have your laptop?"

Misty: "…"

Miku: "You can speak now."

Misty: "Yes I do."

Miku: "I need you to go onto Nico's site, and start downloading as many of their songs as you can."

Luka: "Oh dear..."

Fanatic1: Among a large group of fanatics all with TVs, "Wow, that divine message telling us to stop singing was really an eye-opener. I mean if I hadn't heard that, I might have wasted my life singing when I should be doing the Wolf's bidding."

Fanatic2: "I know, I'm so glad that the lord gave us a new aim in life."

Fanatic1: "So... let us continue."

Fanatic2 presses a button on his controller, and they both prepare to play. The title 'Tales of Symphonia' comes up on the screen.

F2: "So... this should only take 80 hours according to the box."

F1: "I heard the lord and a friend of his managed to play through in 14 hours."

F2: "The lord is truly praiseworthy!"

F1: "So... here we go."

F2 selects 'start game.'

Voice of Kratos: "Once upon a time, there existed a giant tree..."

F1: "Wow, this is awesome already!"

Miku: Bursting into the cathedral, "STOP EVERYTHING!"

F2: "Hang on, let the man finish his speach."

Miku: "Oh... okay..."

Kratos: "...and that marked the beginning of the regeneration of the world."

F2: "Okay, continue."

Miku: "Okay... STOP EVERYTHING!"

F1: "Why, oh great wife of God?"

Miku: "Because, I have an important message! Misty!"

Misty: "Okay... here we go."

Misty hits 'enter' on his laptop.

Laptop: "I... just wasted... ten seconds of you life."

Misty: "Oops.. wrong set of tracks... hang on... right, here we go!"

Misty hits 'enter' again.

Laptop: "Watashi wa koi wo..."

F1: "What? That's... NICO NICO?"

Miku: "Yes, oh, and guess who found the input for your speaker system? LUKA!"

Luka: "Okay!" Puts a cable into the speakers' control.

Speakers: "Papa to Mama ni oyasumi nasai..."

Fanatics: "NO~!"

Miku: "Yes!"

Bob: Running into the room, "What is this?"

Miku: "By the decree of Wolfie, this set of music is to be played thrice each day in order to praise him!"

Fanatic1: "I refuse!"

Miku: "Oh, we have I Refuse on here as well."

F1: "NO!"

Bob: "My fellows... I apologise..."

Fanatic2: "Father Bob?"

Bob: "I believed that Wolfie cared for us, his flock, but it seems he's a traitor to our feelings of reverence. We must seek him out, and slay the false god!"

Fanatics: "HAI!"

Bob: "And first, we must slay the whore with whom he lies!"

Miku: "Do you know how big a mistake you just made?"

Bob: "What?"

Miku: "First, now that you aren't worshipping Wolfie, he can leave the mansion. Second, you just called me a whore."

Bob: "So?"

Wolfie: "NOBODY CALLS MY MIKU A WHORE!" Bursts through the ceiling cutting it apart with his sword, "At least, nobody has and lived!"

Bob: "F***... FANATICS, CHARGE!"

Fanatics: "FOR... um..."

Fanatic1: "What exactly are we fighting for again?"

Fanatic2: "Um... great justice?"

Bob: "Me of course!"

F1: "But why should we get our asses handed to us for you?"

Bob: "Because... um... er... I'll show you a new path."

F1: "But you got it wrong first time."

Bob: "Er... well you feel betrayed by Wolfie right? In my next religion, he can be the devil."

F2: "Sounds good by me."

F1: "Yeah... but still, what exactly are we fighting for?"

Bob: "The Big Bad!"

F1: "Odd name for a god, but okay."

Fanatics: "FOR THE BIG BAD!" Rush at Miku and Co.

Miku: "This'll get hairy."

Misty: His bow extending from his bracelet, "You know, it's far too early for our final battle, what in Fiction is going on here?"

Miku: "I dunno... Black Rock Shooter!" The huge gun materialises on her arm, "Rin! Back up!"

The roadroller bursts through the the wall, Rin laughing maniacally from the top, while Len tries to hold on.

Misty: "Did you know this would happen or something?"

Miku: "I just came prepared."

Luka: "Ri~ght, you were hoping for this weren't you?"

Miku: "Perhaps, now let's go!"

Over near the altar.

Wolfie: "So, Bob, you work for the Big Bad eh?"

Bob: "Yes! Of course I do! The whole religion thing was to weaken you and then take you down. I didn't expect you to have built a religion-resistor in your mansion."

Wolfie: "Well I conveniently did so. I'm surprised I actually had the luck that my paranoia paid off for once."

Bob: "Anyway... so you're going to attack an unarmed man?"

Wolfie: "No, because you aren't actually unarmed are you?"

Bob: "Okay, you got me." Pulls out a shotgun, "You know, guns are so much better than swords."

Wolfie: "True..." His blade transforms into an assault rifle, "You have a point."

Bob: "F*** YOU!" Points his gun at Wolfie and pulls the trigger.

Bis Bald

BW