February, 2006
Michael lay in bed, gradually waking from a fitful half-sleep and turning over the events of the day again in his head. He'd been tossing and turning all night worrying about the future of the company, what he would do if too many family members sold their shares, and, most of all, George Michael's confession earlier that day that he'd made out with his cousin, Maeby. God, it was just like him and Lindsay in high school. At least they were only cousins, not twin siblings, but it was still very disturbing. Was the universe trying to punish him or something by making his son live out the same scenario with her daughter?
He rolled over, then sat up with a start when he realized someone was lying next to him. He turned on the lamp and saw Lindsay lying awake and looking up at the ceiling.
"Are you drunk?" he asked.
"A little," she replied. "We need to talk."
"Yeah, I'll say," he said, turning away from her and putting his face in his hand. "Are you aware that your daughter and my son have been getting physical? I mean, can you imagine anything more inappropriate?"
She suddenly grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled him back onto the bed, then climbed on top of him.
"Hey!" he said in surprise. "I guess you can, what are you doing?"
"I'm not your sister," she said breathlessly.
"What?"
"I'm adopted!"
"Hey, Lindsay—"
"And I'm three years older," she said with less excitement.
"Hey, there must be some mistake."
"No, Mom confirmed it," she said, smiling down at him and pulling at his shirt. "And I know you've always found me attractive. You've been telling me that for the last…forty years!"
Michael pushed her off of him and got up off the bed. "Please, Lindsay, this is crazy," he said. She stood up too and wrapped her arm around him. "Hey!" he said, trying to pull away.
"If I don't get divorced and remarried in the next month I'm gonna sell those shares and I'm gonna cash out!" she said, pulling him closer. "So what d'you say?"
Michael looked back at her in disbelief. Had she just said she wanted to marry him? She must be mistaken, of course she was his sister.
"I'm just not that into…older women," he said, thinking that would get rid of her if nothing else did. Sure enough, she let go of him. He started to walk away, still not entirely sure what had just happened but relieved that she'd let him go.
"YOU BASTARD!" she screamed.
"Ah!" he yelled as she grabbed him by the hair and pulled him to the ground.