A/N: Thanks so much for your patience. The final chapter is always the hardest for me to write… I can't believe this is the end guys. I hope you like it.

*sniffle*

Chapter 21: The End is the Beginning

Oh I do believe
In all the things you say
What comes is better than what came before

And you'd better come come, come come to me
Better come come, come come to me
Better run, run run, run run to me
Better come

Oh I do believe
In all the things you say
What comes is better than what came before

-I Found a Reason, Cat Power

~August~

Exactly one year after the quiet, strangely perfect civil ceremony at the Clallam County Courthouse, Edward and I said our vows again, this time on a small beach in La Push. There was none of the old itchy desperation that had driven me that day, that need to get it over with, to have that piece of paper that said he was mine before Edward came to his senses and realized how crazy we were being.

Instead, as I stared up into Edward's eyes I was overwhelmed by a sense of rightness, every last lingering trace of uncertainty I'd felt since Edward had first whispered "marry me" into my ear the night I'd come back to the cottage was gone. I squeezed Edward's hand, remembering my first wedding day, which despite its complete insanity had been perfect, a moment that hadn't needed a fancy dress or flowers or a hundred guests, a moment just for us.

"And we'll always have it Bella," Edward had murmured, as we lay spooned together in our dark bedroom after I'd tried to explain my reluctance, how it seemed like a betrayal of the day that had changed my life, redefined and reshaped me. "But I'm not the same person I was back then. I want to see you walking down the aisle, knowing that we're both there for no other reason than that we love each other; I want everyone to see how much I need you. It's so different for me this time Bella – for both of us. It's our new start."

And it was different; I couldn't deny that, I didn't even want to. Edward loving me, being honest with me, the lifting of our deadline had changed things between us, created a new kind of closeness that I hadn't even known was possible. And the more time that passed, the more I recognized that we were not the same people who'd rushed into marriage for our own separate, probably flawed reasons…. So I'd said yes.

Over the next three months I questioned that decision a hundred times, especially when Alice started sending daily emails of dresses and cakes and flowers, threatening to blow the intimate day I'd dreamed of completely out of proportion. But as soon as I'd stepped out onto the beach that she'd doubtlessly spent all night working on I knew we'd both gotten it right. Pots of wildflowers were scattered everywhere, bright spots of color against the monochromatic sand and white chairs, popping against the blue sky. Everything looked effortless and romantic and was exactly what I'd wanted.

As I'd walked down the aisle that Alice had created for me out of flower petals and looked up at Edward I understood: The first ceremony had been the beginning of us, of learning how to fit together, how to need each other…. This was the beginning of our forever.

Reverend Webber's deep voice was soothing and powerful; rationally I knew that he must have said these words a hundred times in his career to a hundred different couples – but in this moment it felt like he was saying them for the first time, for Edward and me only.

"Do you, Isabella Marie Swan, take Edward Anthony Masen Cullen to be your wedded husband, to live together in marriage, do you promise to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, and forsaking all others be faithful only to him so long as you both shall live?"

My heart thudded in my chest, a mixture of excitement and emotion. And all I could think was finally.

"I do."

…

I stood by myself further down the beach, watching the sun go down, the surf licking at my bare feet. Lifting the gossamer fabric of my dress higher so it wouldn't get wet, I thought wistfully of the last time I'd jumped into the water in my wedding gown; for a while I'd wanted to wear my old grey dress before I decided that that was being a little too nostalgic.

So I'd dutifully gone shopping with Alice and to my surprise had fallen in love with the first dress I'd tried on. It had a slightly old-fashioned, romantic feel that had me imagining it was a hundred years earlier and I was sipping lemonade on a porch somewhere. An intricate lace overlay covered the top half of what would otherwise have been a simple strapless dress; it had a deep, square neckline and tight three quarter length lace sleeves that I was glad for as it offered extra protection against the cool wind blowing off the ocean.

Despite the breeze, it had been a gorgeous day, the sky a vivid cloudless blue that hadn't seemed real after the long rainy summer we'd had. The sun was so bright it stung my eyes even though they'd almost gotten used to the glare of the Los Angeles sunshine. The day was ending just as spectacularly as it had begun in a gorgeous riot of a pink and orange.

The sound of laughter drifted towards me and I turned my head to watch the small group of people who'd been invited to the wedding. Just the minister, our families, and Alice and Jasper were present, though I knew from Renee that half the town of Forks had been dying to attend since the truth about Edward's identity had leaked out. Also my mother's doing no doubt.

Renee had been thrilled to discover that the son-in-law she'd always been suspicious of was actually Dr. Carlisle Cullen's son, instantly forgetting every bad word she'd ever said about him. It was amazing how quickly her frowns turned into coquettish smiles; in her eyes now he was perfect, the son in law she'd always wanted.

I tried not to hate her for that.

It wasn't as if Renee was alone – many of those who'd delighted in talking about Edward behind his back had suddenly changed their tune, conveniently forgetting all the petty gossip they'd spread since he'd first moved to town. The stares and rumors, which had died down a little over the winter, were suddenly back full force as people tried to figure out how Edward could have possibly kept his identity secret from everyone or why he'd even wanted to.

I hadn't told Renee or anyone else about my misdiagnosis and I knew I never would. She'd only end up with her feelings hurt, especially once she found out that I'd told Charlie first. The last thing we needed was another wedge between us.

I'd fully sensed the distance that had grown between us when I told her about the second wedding ceremony, the first time we'd seen each other in a year. I had changed so much during my year away, felt so different that it was shocking to see that my mother was exactly the same – still repeating the same old gossip, with the same superficial worries and Suzy Homemaker attitude. It was the same way with Phil, who hadn't even bothered to look apologetic or sheepish even though it was the first time we'd seen each other since the disastrous night at Alice's apartment when he'd grabbed my hand, trying to force me to move back home.

Curiously, when I looked at my mother and stepfather, looking ridiculous in her high heels and his suit when everyone else was wearing casual sundresses and sandals, I no longer felt the anger and resentment that had burned inside me growing up, when I'd wanted so badly to be included in their bubble. It hit me that I'd outgrown them, that I no longer needed anything from them, not even an apology.

It made me feel sad.

But I smiled when I saw my dad grinning widely, standing beside Sue with an expression in his eyes that almost hurt to see. It made me realize how rare it was to see him animated, happy. Sue wore her own diamond now and in a few months, Edward and I would be coming back for their wedding.

Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper and Alice were standing to one side, chatting together. Since Rosalie had come to the cottage, we'd formed a tentative friendship of sorts. She would never be the kind of best friend that Alice was to me, but I no longer looked her with a mixture of awe and envy either.

Earlier she'd kissed my cheek, complimented my dress and watched my wedding with a note of wistfulness in her expression that made me wonder if, for the first time she wanted something I had. I hoped so; I knew she was waiting to marry Emmett until after her residency was finished, a decision neither Emmett nor I understood. I hoped she didn't feel any regret when she looked back.

Inevitably, my gaze returned to Edward who was standing with his parents. His mother was clutching tightly onto his arm, beaming whenever she looked up at her son. Edward's face has a special softness to it that I'd learned he wore only for Esme. I'd been so nervous the first time I'd met Dr. and Mrs. Cullen in their gorgeous, huge house, but they were so obviously grateful to have their son back and me by association, that I'd felt immediately welcomed and included.

And I'd watched as another fractured part of Edward slowly began to heal. He was almost unrecognizable these days from the shadowed, tired man I'd first known.

God he looked beautiful. He was wearing simple linen pants and vest, with his sleeves casually rolled up to his elbows, a soft smile on his lips that widened when our gazes met. It wasn't long before Edward was excusing himself from his parents and coming over to stand beside me.

He caught my hand in both of his and raised it to his lips, kissing first the center of my palm and then my wedding ring. I smiled to myself when I saw the flash of his own gold band, remembering the how satisfied I'd felt when I'd finally slipped it onto his finger.

"Happy?" Edward asked, his lips curving in a satisfied, crooked smile as he wrapped an arm around me, running his fingers through my loose hair. I nodded, laying my head against his shoulder. We stood silently for a few long minutes, watching the sunset.

"I love you Bella," he bent to whisper into my ear.

I smiled, squeezing his hand in response as I hugged the words tight. Edward still didn't say I love you very often, but I didn't mind as much as I might have. I'd learned to recognize that he said the words with each kiss and light touch and how every morning he filled the kettle with water and left a cup and teabag out on the stove for me so that when I woke later, all bleary eyed and muddled, I didn't have to bang around the kitchen for a half hour. His I love you was in the way he held me – tight, like he could never get close enough, and how he always seemed happiest when it was just us curled up on the couch watching TV together or making dinner.

It had been there all along, even if neither of us had realized it until it was almost too late.

Still, I couldn't help the little thrill that shot up my spine whenever he said the words. I knew it was their rarity that made them so powerful, that made every time he chose to say it extra special; with Edward I'd never wonder if saying I love you had become a force of habit, never get sick of hearing them. When he said the words, I could trust that he really felt them. Every single time.

"It's almost time to go," I said softly. "We should probably start saying goodbye."

Edward and I were spending the night at the cottage, then driving to Seattle in the morning where we'd catch a flight to England for the honeymoon. Our tentative plan was to spend the weekend in London, then rent a car and just drive, stopping at little inns along the way. I wanted to see the Lake District and the moors and the seacoast, even Wales if we had enough time. When we came back we'd be going straight to the little house in L.A that we'd just rented – for good this time, not the back and forth we'd be doing all summer to get things ready.

Once again everything in my life was changing, potentially spiraling out of my control, filled with maybes that I couldn't hope to answer. Maybe Edward would begin touring again in a few months, maybe the manuscript that I'd just gotten the courage to send out to a few agents and publishers would be accepted, maybe once I was living in L.A I'd get horribly homesick…

Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.

But instead of being terrified by it all, the way the old Isabella Swan would have been, I felt exhilarated, ready to experience everything.

I wasn't the same woman who'd stared out into the rain, watching a man she didn't think she could ever have. I wasn't the same woman who, every day for four years went home to house that had never felt like hers. To a life that had bearable only because I could dream of something far off and impossible, my very own blue castle.

Tomorrow I was going to wake up to a life that the old me would never have thought possible, had never thought I was capable of living. And the best part was that I had forever to make my mistakes, to be happy, to live with the man that I loved and who loved me.

I could feel Edward's hand, warm and strong in my mine. And I smiled. Bring it on, I thought to myself. I'm not afraid.

*sniffle* Epilogue will be up soon XD