Hawkeye and Margaret stood on her porch as they shielded themselves from the rain. She leaned on the railing as she blankly stared out at towards the house next door. Hawkeye sat on the bench behind her and watched her for a moment. They had both been silent, but that was only because he had no idea of what to say to her. The more he got to know this girl, the more complicated her life seemed to him. He was used to staying in the one small town where every one knew each other and virtually nothing bad ever happened. All he did was wake up, go to school, and do the same thing every day. Margaret on the other hand had to always worry about moving, her father being gone, making friends, getting used to another school, and now, obviously her parents had been fighting.
"You alright?" he asked.
Margaret shrugged as she continued to just stare out. "I don't really know," she stated with out showing any emotion. "I'm sure either way this Christmas will turn out just like any other holiday usually does."
"They can't always be that bad," Hawkeye said trying to make her feel better.
"I don't know. It seems like it to me. Then again, what do I know?" she asked. There seemed to be a tone of despair in her voice. The only thing that bothered Hawkeye was that he couldn't see her face. The only thing he had to go off of was her voice, and right now, she was sending him mixed messages. Then again, if some one has their back to you, it doesn't usually mean that they're happy. Margaret sighed as she dropped her head. "I don't know anything," she said as she finally turned around to face him.
"What do you mean? Of you know something, I mean, you're grades aren't that bad. I should know, it's no coincidence that we usually have the same grades," he said.
Margaret just rolled her eyes at him. "That's not what I mean. I mean, I don't know what it's like to have friends that actually know who you are, I don't know what it's like to have your own father around all the time. I don't even know what it's like to have a normal family get together," she explained. "Just from seeing my own family, what do you think it's like around here when the relatives come into town?" she asked.
"If you can sit here and tell me that the way you spend holidays isn't normal, then you must know something about them. There has to be something that you're comparing it to," he said staring up at her. Margaret looked at him for a minute as she thought about what he had just told her. She lifted her head and started to stare off into space. "But of course you're right," he said getting her attention. "You don't know anything about how you're supposed to celebrate a holiday."
"I thought you just told me I did," she said.
Hawkeye sighed as he stood up. "Maggie, no one knows. You know why? Because there is no right way, there is no normal families. What do you think? We all get together and discuss how we're going to spend the holidays and then all agree to do the same thing?" he asked. Hawkeye then laughed. "Come on, what you saw at my house on Thanksgiving was them behaving for company. We fight to. I'm stuck there with the two terrors, evil and eviler, who's names I've really got to learn sometime," he said.
Margaret gave him a small smile as she nodded. "I wish my family could put on an act like that when other people come over," she said.
"Why? It's fake," he said.
"Yeah, but it does cause fewer injuries. We're all known for our tempers," Margaret said.
They stood there silently for a moment. Hawkeye could tell that Margaret had begun to lighten up and loved it.
"Well, I better get inside before my mom gets too mad at me," she said.
"Okay, bye," he said as he watched her go into the house. There was something about her that he liked, and today there was something different that he liked even better.
"You're FINALLY home! Where were you? You had mother pacing through out this entire house!" Tara said.
Margaret had thought about everything that both Hawkeye and Becky had told her and then stood up straight as she glared at her older sister. "I don't have to answer to you," she said.
"Well you can at least apologize. Everything around here went crazy all because you decided to take a walk!" Tara yelled.
"Oh, poor Tara, did I ruin YOU'RE day?" she asked and then shook her head. "That doesn't mean that I have to apologize to you. If anything I'll apologize to mother. She's the one that was worried. Besides, I don't feel one ounce of pity for you. All you ever do is boss me around and look for attention," she said.
Tara's eyes opened wide with anger and shock. "You little brat! You ran out in a storm leaving every one to worry and then you come back and yell at me? And don't tell me that you don't go looking for attention," Tara said.
"What do you mean! I barely ever even leave the house let alone flaunt myself around the boys every day!" Margaret argued.
"What about you? Daddy's little girl! How is that not looking for attention? 'Oh yes daddy, anything for you.' He would do anything for you! He never dropped what he was doing for either me nor Becky! Yet you get into the Christmas play and he makes sure that he is there front and center to see you," she said.
"Maybe that's all I had," Margaret said.
"Don't give me that, you know that you an go out and make friends as well as any one else. You just choose not to," Tara said.
Margaret stood back and thought about that. She was right.
"Okay, you're right. But before I go upstairs, think about this. The only reason that I get the attention from him that I do is because I was willing to try to please him. My attention is not out of love, it's just out of pride. Quite honestly, I could never see you going for that," Margaret said and then went up stairs.
Tara stood there and watched Margaret as she walked up the stairs. A blank expression on her face, she shrugged and then walked back into the kitchen.
Margaret got to the top of the stairs and turned into her parent's room. She saw her mom sitting on the bed and staring at a picture of her and daddy together. She jumped when she noticed Margaret in the room and looked up and forced a small smile. "Hey there Margaret," she said trying to sound happy.
"Hey, I'm sorry that I left earlier, it's just," Margaret started to explain, but was cut off by her mother shaking her head.
"I understand," she said. "Odds are, I would have done the same thing too," she said.
Margaret just looked around the room with a concerned look to her face. Sighing, she went over and sat down at the end of the bed. Fiddling around with the loose blanket in her hands, she looked up at her mom who had went back to the picture. "Why are you two getting a divorce?" she asked more forcefully then she would have liked.
"I don't really know how it all started. For the past few years we have been fighting more then usual and I guess that it had just kept getting worse," Elisabeth explained finally looking up from the picture that she held tightly in her hands.
"But the phone call, it was all so sudden," Margaret said.
"No it wasn't. It was like normal times, when I would yell at him for being away and then he would yell at me because I knew what I was getting myself into when I said yes. But this time just went a little too far," she said.
"A little too far?" Margaret asked with disbelief. "Mom! You two are splitting up! How could you say that it was just a little too far? Isn't there anything that you can do to fix things?" she asked starting to form tears in her eyes.
"I wish it were all that easy, but you've to remember that we have tried things already. Remember that one year that your father and went away? We left so that we could discuss what was happening to us. Honey, there's nothing to do anymore. His life is the army and my life is here with you three," she bluntly stated while she dabbed her eyes making sure not to ruin the make up.
"That's it? No more? It's all done?" Margaret angrily asked while she stood up.
"Damn it Margaret!" she snapped which caused Margaret to calm down and soften her expression. "I know you think that this is all simple. Well, that's pretty far off from the truth, and quite frankly, this is just a little too complicated for you right now."
Margaret nodded and then left the room. She had no idea what was going on and wanted desperately to know.
Elisabeth sat on her bed as she looked back down at the picture. "I wish that you would just forgive me," she said starting to cry. "I sure screwed this one up."