Jeanine
- Well. - Natalie sat next to Andrew and looked me straight in the eye. - What's the plan, if there is one?
Her concentrated expression, her curious and determined eyes reminded me Caleb. It was the same expression he had when he said that would help me save Beatrice.
''Yes.'' He had said after our long conversation in the privacy of my lab. ''If your desire is to save my sister, then we have exactly the same goal. In this case, yes, of course I'll help you. "
The moment he said that, I had two lonely tears running down my cheeks. That was the first time I cried in years, but my relief was bigger than my shame.
And now here was his mother, with the same determination and with the same goals. Comparing it to Caleb, I could almost feel sympathy for Natalie.
Almost.
- There is a plan at Beatrice's side - I said turning away. -I leave it clear that I never agreed with it, but you should know well your own daughter to know that I could not do anything.
The ghost of a smile formed on Natalie's lips.
- Yes, I understand perfectly. Beatrice is a person who lets nothing and no one to come between her and what she wants. Not even a person she loves.
I noticed Andrew's jaw clench a rigid line to hear that Beatrice loved me.
- She wants to go through a sympathizer of the Bureau and its ''ideal'' - I can not help convey my contempt for those place through my voice. - She wants to win the sympathy of David, that he believes that she is reliable. Thus, she will can act with more freedom and security.
- Act? - Andrew looked at me for the first time in a long time. - What does this mean?
I took a deep breath, trying to undo the knot of anxiety formed in my chest every time I thought about it. Say the words out loud did not help.
- One of the greatest weapons of the Bureau is the Memory Serum. I believe Abnegation knew it very well - I throw an incisive look at Andrew and Natalie. -They use it to restart the experiments that are going out of control. Tris had the idea to use this Bureau's weapon against itself.
-Use the Memory Serum against Bureau? - Natalie frowned. -How does it ...?
Natalie's face freezes. Her eyes widen and she seems to finally understand. Andrew looks at her expectantly, waiting for her to say something.
- Memory Serum - she says. -Of course. The weapons laboratory.
Suddenly, my heart races and hope lights up in me like a fire fed by fuel. I looked Natalie like she was my lifeline.
- Do you happen to know where it is?
- No - she answers, and my hopes dissolve in a puff of smoke. - As much as David trusted me, he never gave me access to this special place. And I also never had the curiosity to explore on my own.
I give a long, frustrated sigh. I tried to understand that it's not Natalie's fault, there is no reason for to be angry with her, but my frustration got the worst of me.
-Tris want to find the weapons laboratory and spread the serum of memory within the Bureau. Of course, not before inoculate herself and her friends so they are also not affected. Thus David will no longer be a threat to non-pure.
- I have to admit that a great idea - Angela pronounced for the first time, causing Andrew and Natalie looked at her. -We just need to find a specific way to help her.
- If we could find out where is the weapons laboratory... - I continue - ... we could spare her to risk trying to figure out.
- I really want to know - Natalie now appears as frustrated as I am. I can see in her eyes how much she regrets not having sought this information while she was still within the walls of Bureau. -But I don't know. I have no idea.
- So we need to continue with the original plan - said Angela. -Let's watch Beatrice and her companions while they discover vital information. If anything wrong take before that, let's intervene at any time.
- How can you monitor the Bureau here? - Asked Natalie, looking at Angela, confused.
- Well ... We, emphasis on the ''we'', can not. Jeanine can. Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Prior. Your son is a genius.
As expected, Andrew and Natalie look to me for answers. I told them about the invention of Caleb, and the ability to share dreams with Beatrice. In the end, Natalie has a proud smile on her face.
- I'm not surprised about that - she said. -He was always very smart. Smarter than desirable for Abnegation, although he hid it very well.
- He made the right choice by leaving the Abnegation. - I told her - No person should have their talents repressed.
Andrew looked at me furious and I just ignore him.
- Let's be aware, if is all we can do - concluded Angela. - Jeanine will speak with Beatrice again tonight, and we may have some news by tomorrow. When the time is right, we'll know what to do.
Andrew and Natalie were undecided a moment, then nodded, resigned.
Natalie told us everything she knew about the Bureau. Though perhaps things had changed, but the information was useful anyway. Andrew remained calm silence until his wife stopped talking.
To my surprise, later Andrew helped Bellatrix and Ava and other scientists in their projects in the sector 4. I should not have been surprised. At the end of the day, he was an Erudite-Borned. One of the best, but he always hated math. But I did not think he remained so smart after all these years.
I left there and went back to my computer.
I reviewed the plan of the Bureau hundreds of times, reviewing the outputs, inputs, doors, offices. Somewhere in that place, he was hidden the weapons laboratory. If only I knew where ...
-Are you fine? - Angela does not look at me, she was involved in some papers.
-I will be. - I do not look at her.
-Maybe you should fix things with Andrew.
My fingers froze on the computer.
-Why should I do that? - I barely whispered.
-He was your best friend. And now, your "father-in-law".
-So what? - I answered curtly.
-And, eventually, Tris would have to choose between her father and you. And I'm sure you do not want that - she do not look at me yet.
I turned my chair and stared at her.
-She would not do that.
For the first time, Angela looked at me. Her eyes were calm.
-Love is not selfish.
I was about to answer "What do you know?" but I did not. In part, because I knew she was right. I was being selfish, and proud. And sore. After so many years I still hurted losing my best friend.
I still remember our screams, the big fight the day before the Choosing Ceremony. Then silence. And I felt like someone had been ripped an arm.
I did not answer to Angela, I returned to my business. In the end she did the same.
I took off my clothes, staying in my panties and bra, and went to bed. I took the glasses from my bedside table and put them on.
A few seconds later I was beside a narrow lake, on a beautiful autumn evening. The leaves fell slowly and the breeze blowing in my face.
Caleb Prior and Cara real thought has gone into this. It feels very real. I stretched my hand and caught a firefly flying in the wind, feeling its touch in my fingertips. Very real.
Beatrice did not see me at first. She was under an oak tree, sitting on a red blanket, playing with her "powers" of simulation. She did appear a sandwich, then orange juice, and then three hamburgers and ice cream.
-You're hungry. Do not they feed you? - I said approaching.
Beatrice saw me and smiled a little. I love her smile, because it's special. She does not usually smile a lot, but she smiles when she is with me. And that makes me smile.
I sit next to her, and she shrugs.
- I didn't want to eat when I'm there. And at the end of all, this is just a simulation. Besides being a lot of fun.
Unable to wait a moment longer, I lean and caught her face in my hands and kissed her.
Her smile vanishes, giving way to concentration. She seems to be one hundred percent delivered to that kiss, as if not wanting to miss even a second of it with anything else. Not a word, not a smile or any other distraction. Sometimes, I feel smug as I realized how much she wants me.
Once she move away, she is breathing quickly. Her face is red and the blue of her eyes looks even more incandescent.
It was hard to believe it was just a dream, the result of an invention. It was too real, too sensorial. As a scientist, nobody had never come close to creating something not even like that.
For a moment, I felt jealous of Caleb.
- It's hard, is not it? - She said for the first time in a long time. - It's almost surreal to believe that we are here, and while we aren't ...
- Yes - I said. -I was thinking the exact same thing.
She moves away a bit, trying to compose herself.
Beatrice brings out two glasses next to the orange juice. She fills them and puts one in front of me.
- I hope this isn't too sweet. I don't know if I can control these things through simulation.
I picked up the glass and drank a sip of the orange juice. It's perfect.
- It is right - I answered. -How was your day?
She takes a deep breath, somewhat frustrated.
- Tedious. Totally useless. We visited laboratories, and made a stupid genes test -she rolled her eyes.
- And your result ... One hundred percent divergent, right?
Beatrice nodded and pursed her lips as if she was worried about something.
- Yes. The surprise was result of Tobias. We found that he isn't divergent. His reaction ... let's just say he's not well.
The surprise and curiosity stirred within me. That was normal, considering who I was, but lately I have not been having time to feel a curiosity so uncompromising.
- I can not deny that this young man has always intrigued me. He always had such divergent characteristics as non-divergent. And I've never been able to understand why.
- Do you remember the day of the attack to Abnegation? - She asks uncomfortably. I can see her become pale for a moment, and a cold shiver runs through my body.
It was not a day that I could forget.
- Yes - I answer, in a voice too low.
- Well ... when we were captured, Tobias and I, and we were with you in that office, you told us you had a theory: that his divergence was weaker. Well, you were wrong. He doesn't have any divergence. He is only able to handle some simulations. They said it is an interesting anomaly. God! It is correct to refer to people like that?
- No. - I say with sorrow - And that's why this place should not to exist.
I feel that she can see the twinge of irritation that started to form in me.
- And on your side? Did something happen important?
For a moment, I wanted to tell her no, and convince her that my day had been as tedious as hers. But I could not do that. If I wanted to become the person she deserved, the lie was not the right way.
- Actually yes.
She looked at me curious, hopeful.
- True? And what is it?
- Your parents - I said with disgust. - They found us and joined us.
Beatrice's eyes widened at the same time as her mouth opened.
- My ... my parents? How ...?
She seemed unable to utter a complete sentence. She was in shock.
- It is a very long and complicated story. I can not fully explain it in one conversation. But only for clarity, your mother was from the Bureau. She was not born in the experiment, but was placed on it.
It took five seconds that Tris's face was completely pale. Then it was colored red.
-What?
I did not answer.
-What!? And nobody came up to tell me it could be important or something? Why did not anyone tell me? Why she did not tell me?
Anger exploded in her face. I had almost forgotten her burning anger.
-Bea...
-Don't "Beatrice" me! I'm sick of secrets! It is assumed that a family has no secrets, Jeanine! Why did you not tell me?
Honestly, because it never occurred to me. The times in which Wright was in the Bureau are so remote that I barely remember. It is not easy to relate the correct Natalie Prior from Abnegation to the brave and impulsive soldier Natalie Wright.
-Because it is not for me to say, Tris.
-Liar.
She got up and walked out along the lake. Without thinking twice I followed her. At first she tried to ignore me. But then she turned around and glared at me.
-Stop following me!
I followed her anyway.
I could not think of nothing else to say, so I remained silent. Tris stopped suddenly near the lakeshore. She began to appear stones and kicked it hard.
After three minutes, she stopped with the stones and turned to me.
-I'm not angry with you- she said looking the grass.
-Really? - I asked somewhat surprised. I had expected some more shouting.
-I should be accustomed to secrets- she stuck her hands in her pockets. - And to have no idea who they really are my parents.
-They are two people who love you.
Why the hell did I bother to defend Natalie and Andrew? Perhaps I just wanted to make Beatrice feel better.
Tris looked at me intently with her blue eyes. She was very serious.
-I know. I also know that I will forgive them when I see them again, because I love them too much to lose them. But I won't stand being lied to. Anyone. Never. Even you.
-I know - I smiled and stroked her hair, she relaxed a bit. -I know.
I kissed her cheekbone and hugged her. I could not help it, she looked so sad and angry. I just wanted to hold her in my arms, but that did not fix anything. Tris hardened a few seconds, and then gently hugged me, tickling my neck with her nose.
-I love you.
And I was surprised to find it was the first time I said it, after all we went through. And I said so naturally, because she was there and I wanted to tell her.
-I know.
This was my Beatrice. The girl of my nightmare did not existent. This was my main reason for wanting to be good again.