Chapter 21

The group stared in awe at the huge room Harry had made appear. Harry paid no mind and started rooting round the piles of forgotten and unwanted things. He saw quite a few things he liked and discreetly stowed them away in his trunk.

'Over here I've found it!'

The goblins rushed to his call and carefully they began to cancel the charms. Once done the head brought out a box and placed the diadem inside. It shone for a brief moment and that was all professor Flitwick needed.

'Is that what I think it is?!'

Harry grinned.

'Yep. The lost diadem of Lady Ravenclaw. I wanted to have the dark magic on it cleaned before letting you see it but I figured after my outburst that it was best you all saw it now. Lady Hogwarts told me it was here'.

'So that means…?!' professor McGonagall breathed.

'You really are the heir of the founders?! Only an heir or the headmaster would be able to speak to the castle!' professor Sprout finished.

Harry thanked the goblins and asked Lady Hogwarts to ensure they left safely.

'It took me by surprise as well professor. So did speaking to Lady Hogwarts. Although she's not really happy with Dumbledore at the moment. He's not been a very good headmaster' he replied.

He turned to Flitwick and bowed.

Professor, once the Lady Ravenclaw's diadem has been cleaned of its taint I wish to present it to you to display in the Ravenclaw common room'.

The little professor nearly fainted in happiness.

'That…that would be wonderful Lord Potter Black!'

Harry smiled at him then bowed to the other heads.

'I also have in my possession the sword of Gryffindor, the chalice of Hufflepuff and the locket of Slytherin. I would appreciate if you could all keep this quiet until the diadem is cleaned and then I will present all four of them to you to display in their respective common rooms'.

The ladies had been rendered speechless. Severus already knew most of this, though was surprised at Harry finding the diadem and speaking to the school building.

'Well now, I've stunned enough people today. Good thing it's a weekend. Now I've likely got a pair of red head twins to see to and will most likely not be seen until dinner. So I shall bid you all a good morning' Harry said.

As he walked out the Room of Requirement he could clearly hear McGonagall whine at knowing Fred and George were back in Hogwarts.

His amusement was once again interrupted by a red head moron.

'So where the hell were you off to then?! Gone to cosy up to the teachers?'

Harry groaned and went to the nearest wall, proceeding to thump his head off it.

'Why *thump!* am I surrounded *thump!* with morons *thump!* do the fates *thump!* hate me *thump!* what have I *thump* ever done to them?!'

Feeling concussed enough to handle the idiot he turned back.

'You never learn do you?' he sighed.

Ron was confused enough by his thumping his head off a wall. The jibe against his intelligence finally connected and he started to turn red.

'LIKE YOU'RE ONE TO TALK YOU BLOODY GIT! IF I HAVEN'T LEARNED ANYTHING IT'S BECAUSE OF YOU ALWAYS DRAGGING ME AWAY FOR ONE OF YOUR BLOODY ADVENTURES! I'VE NEARLY BEEN KILLED BECAUSE OF YOU, THAT MORE THAN ENOUGH OF AN EXCUSE FOR FALLING BEHIND! YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A HALF-BLOOD ORPHAN! OH EVERYONE SHOULD FEEL SORRY FOR HARRY BLOODY POTTER CAUSE HE'S GOT NO PARENTS! YOU MIGHT AS WELL BUY NEW PARENTS WITH ALL THAT MONEY THAT YOU'RE KEEPING AWAY FROM PEOPLE LIKE ME WHO DESERVE IT FOR PUTTING UP WITH YOU!'

Well if that wasn't the straw that broke the thestral's back.

'All righty then clearly my words aren't getting to you so I'll do something that does. Lady Hogwarts. This student has been rude, lazy and extremely arrogant within your walls. He is a thief and a backstabber and I feel it's time he knows how I felt growing up. I hereby decree that Ronald Prewett is to become a house elf for the Gryffindor boy's dorms. To ensure he does it right he will be governed by those elves that work here. He will also wear this…'

Harry conjured up a rather odd looking hat. He had thought about the best way to humiliate Ron and came up with a rather fitting idea. On top of the green and silver wizard style hat was a stuffed skunk, backside facing forward, tail up. It was charmed to spew out noxious gas if Ron mouthed off. Hanging from the tail was a stuffed Scabbers lookalike which was charmed to squeak if Ron didn't do as he was told. Both these charms were keyed to only Ron. Harry wasn't punishing the other boys for the red head's stupidity. To finish it off the skunk was lying on a bed of fake cockroaches which would squirm and wriggle around. He thought about making them spiders but then Ron would never get anything done. It may be overdone but the red head needed things to be overdone to understand them. Giving the hat a quick once over Harry nodded and slapped it onto Ron's head.

'Not bad. Anyway, this will be worn at all times while in the common room. Should his mouthing off continue it will extend to the weekends, then meal times during the week, and finally any time Ronald isn't in class'.

Not much point having the teachers laugh their asses off and not teach.

'Does this agree with you Lady Hogwarts?'

A loud dong sounded as she accepted these rules. Immediately two elves appeared and popped away with the fuming red head.

Chuckling Harry went on his way, then groaned as he was interrupted again by Fuckerbore.

'Harry I am the one in charge of discipline and I hereby decree that the cruel punishment you placed on Ronald is lifted'.

They both waited for Lady Hogwarts to respond. She didn't.

'Looks like the Lady Hogwarts doesn't agree with you'.

Albus was furious. How dare this brat of a boy come in and attempt to take over.

'Well then I'm afraid this is something I will have to take up with the minister'.

Perhaps a dose of dementor will shake the boy up enough to come back under his control. All he had to do was give enough hints that he was becoming a dark lord to Fudge'.

'You do that Sir. It's good to know the adults are starting to handle things, instead of leaving it to us kids' Harry replied mockingly and walked away, quickly ducking into a hidden passage to ensure no one else tried to stop him. Lady Hogwarts told him of Fuckerbore's plans and he scoffed, asking her to allow the man to contact the minister. If he could hold off a hundred dementors then he could certainly hold off the pitiful few that were still under ministry control.

It would appear dinner was going to be even more fun than breakfast.

P.A.G.E.B.R.E.A.K

He had a quickie with the twins before they flooed back to work, he then spent the rest of the afternoon with Neville, Luna and Hermione. He'd caught up to her and explained that while she still wasn't off the hook, she'd be safer bunking with them. She gratefully took the offer and her things were moved into a spare room. She felt Helga's room was too personal for her to take. It scored her a couple more points with Harry. They all had a pleasant lunch while Harry explained Ron's punishment. Hermione and Luna left afterwards for the library, most likely to find a quiet corner to laugh themselves silly. Neville was not so reserved and did so immediately after Harry told him. He wasn't one for torture, but even he could see the red head had gone too far.

When dinner time rolled round the group all met up and headed to the great hall. Harry had warned them there may be fireworks and to have their wands on hand. He had only sat down for five minutes when the doors burst open and Fudge came in with a squad of Aurors. Harry did a quick scan of the grounds and found that there were indeed a few dementors with them. He grinned and watched as Fuckerbore stood to greet them.

'Minister Fudge. I trust your journey was pleasant?'

Oh yeah, Moldywart's on the loose and he's asking if he had a pleasant journey. Idiot.

'Uh yes yes… I am here to arrest Harry Potter for the crime of becoming a dark lord' Fudgy replied, standing all high and mighty.

Clearly he's forgotten just how crazy Harry was.

The entire hall went quiet at this. Ron gave a smug smirk. So did Draco.

Albus put on a sombre expression.

'Yes. I'm afraid the boy's starting to go into the dark side'.

Weird? Harry was sure he just heard Darth Vader's heavy breathing.

'However arresting him may be a bit extreme minister. I'm sure the boy just needs a stern talking to about his rebellious behaviour'.

The boy was right here!

'I'm afraid the boy's done more than enough to warrant his arrest' Fudge replied with a sneer.

Yep. Definitely forgotten about crazy Harry.

Fudge glanced around until he caught sight of his target.

'Aurors arrest that boy!'

Harry rolled his eyes, a strong wandless shield up before the Aurors had begun to move.

'Perhaps you could give me a list of offences I've apparently done?'

Albus decided to take this one.

'I have seen you kill with my own eyes. It was you who killed professor Quirrell. You who attacked a teacher in your second year. And attacked professor Snape in third year…'

Harry had already apologised for blasting Severus away. The man gruffly accepted, since he was now sleeping with one of the marauders.

'We have yet to see proof that it was not you responsible for killing the Diggory boy in the tournament. And you attacked and seriously injured several upstanding members of the public last year. Then this summer you killed most of them! And we have reason to believe you are responsible for the disappearance of Lord Malfoy' Fudge piped up.

'Not to mention the other crimes you have committed. Like the crime upon young Mr Prewett' Albus continued.

Harry scrunched his face in confusion.

'Prewett? Never heard the name before in my life'.

'That's me you git! You can't even remember breaking my family apart?!' Ron yelled.

'Oh right…Prewett! Now I remember!' Harry exclaimed.

He then put on a bored face.

'Well now all that's very interesting, but we've got a bit of a problem. First off professor Quirrell was being possessed by Voldemort and it was Voldemort who killed the man. Professor, if he could even be called that, Lockhart was an idiot and a fraud who attacked us first. I have apologised to professor Snape for his attack, however he merely wished to have my godfather thrown back in Azkaban and wasn't prepared to listen to reason. If you wish proof for Cedric's death then I have the memories. As for upstanding members of the public, what a load of bullshit! Most of these men were nothing more than sheep to Voldemort. As for Malfoy, it would appear that he finally got the message and left the country. And then of course there's Ronald, who has from the moment we stepped foot onto the train been harassing me when he was the one stealing from my vaults. I have told him several times to back off and he insists on not listening. So I found a way of making sure he realised that he's pissed me off. Quite frankly there are plenty of others who have done much worse than I have and are parading around like the world owes them'.

Fudge had had enough. The Aurors hadn't been able to get to the boy because of some shied of sorts. It was time to call in the help.

'POTTER I SHALL SEE YOU KISSED FOR YOUR CRIMES! DEMENTORS!'

The air started to get chilly as the creatures answered the call. Some students began to panic and flee as far away from the doors as possible, making the teacher's table very crowded. The ones Harry taught had drawn their wands. Harry quickly had Lady Hogwarts place a shield over the student body. She wasn't all that happy to allow these creatures in but he's asked so nicely. He planned on showing Fudge just who he was dealing with.

The six remaining dementors closed in on him. He smirked.

'EXPECTO PATRONUM!'

Prongs had a grand old time scaring away the buggers. Prancing around it tossed them around and gave a couple a good kicking. The dementors knew they were beat. All but one fled the scene, the remaining one backed into a corner.

With Prongs at the ready Harry approached the last one.

What happened next would go down in history.

'Hey buddy, want a hug?'

'...'

'Aww come on gimme a hug. You know you wanna'.

'….'

'I'll be your best friend'.

His joke backfired when he suddenly had an armful of sobbing, he thought it was sobbing, dementor. Prongs jerked towards him, before realising Harry wasn't in danger and faded away. The dementor was letting out wails and other such noises that Harry couldn't understand, but he was pretty sure the creature was talking. And he'd be right. If he were able to understand dementor speech, he'd hear:

'You called me buddy! *sniff* No one's ever *sniff* called me buddy before! *sniff* No one's ever even *sniff* hugged me before! I just want a *sniff* friend! Everyone runs away *sniff* from me! I'll be your best buddy for ever and ever! *sniff* I won't steal your soul or *sniff* make it all cold! I'll be good *sniff* I promise!'

The entire school population stood in astonishment as Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, stood soothing a wailing creature of darkness.

It would appear that Potter manor would be having another house mate.

Fudge and the Aurors began to back away slowly until they reached the corridor, where they proceeded to run all the way to the gates and apparate to the ministry.

Arrest Harry Potter, not bloody likely!