postscript primus

"Hey, Darien. I wanted to make certain I got things right this time." He ran a hand through his hair, just like Darien often did on the Perseus videos. Darien, whom Kevin could feel on the edge of his awareness. If not tonight then soon. Soon Darien would be the one to wake up and he would be gone, so best get this done now to guarantee that this farewell would be recorded for all posterity.

"I know you have questions, but I'm not certain I have the answers you need. I am not the person I would become at Perseus. I wish I was; maybe then I could have fixed the gland... but there wasn't enough time." He cocked his head to the side, watching his... Darien's face on the screen. He looked... tired, like had aged years in the last few weeks. Maybe he had, hosting two minds, two lives in the same body. Didn't help that Kevin had been burning the proverbial candle at both ends, trying to get every bit of useful information out and into those computers for Alyx and her mysterious benefactors to review and, hopefully, use to better the world.

"Trust Alyx. She will always do what is in your best interest even if it doesn't seem like it at the time. Her plans are definitely long range, allow them to come to fruition." Kevin believed that, especially since she'd gone behind the Official's back to build her own lab with the goal of getting the gland out of Darien's head. Based on her notes she would be successful in that, and within a few short months if he were any judge. The woman was tenacious and wouldn't stop until she had succeeded in giving Darien what she felt he deserved: a choice.

Kevin hoped that when the time came Darien would stay. He was a better man since coming to the Agency, a better man since meeting Hobbes and Claire. A better man since meeting Alyx. Hell, a better man period.

How much of the change was due to the gland and how much to the people he found himself surrounded with was unknown, though Kevin suspected there was little his brother wouldn't do for Alyx. Alyx, the one person who asked nothing of him and would do anything for him. She, just by allowing Darien to be Darien, made him want to be better and that was amazing all by itself. Kevin had felt what Darien did for her and it was overwhelming, and so very real.

Kevin wished he had been able to experience anything even close. Sadly, he remained far too dedicated to his work; it would always come first and any relationship, no matter how strong, how real would always come second.

"I know we hadn't spoken in years, and I'm sorry for that. I used my work as an excuse to stay away instead of doing what was right and try to find a middle ground. No, I never liked you being a thief, but I should have tried to understand that you were living up to Dad's image." He shook his head. "Alyx won't leave you, Darien. She's not Mom. She's not Kimmie. And she's most definitely not Liz." Kevin didn't like talking about Liz, the adult woman who had taken the lonely rebellious teenaged hellion Darien had been and molded him into a thief. A damn good one by all accounts, if with rotten luck. He trusted too easily, searching for someone to look up to and emulate. It could have been him, he, Kevin, could have been the role model that his little brother lived up to, but instead he'd shunned him, thinking him to be less that he was simply because he did not have the burning interest in science that Kevin had been unable to deny.

"I should have been there for you. I know, too little much too late, but I was there when you needed me. I saved you, not the gland. You have so much potential, more than this version of me thought possible. You have done so much good and will do so much more..." He shook his head, not wanting to feed his brother pabulum, but truths that he might not be able to see himself. "I did the right thing, the only thing and saved my baby brother that he might have a chance to go on and do the great things I know he had the potential for. I've done what I set out to do and you will take it further than I had ever dreamed of."

"Alyx is right, much like Captain Jack Sparrow, you are a good man, Darien, even if you are still a thief. Just believe in yourself and trust your friends and you'll have the life you want." Kevin had high hopes for his brother now that he had true friends who would support and care for him no matter what may come to pass. "Oh, and I think you should contact Grams. You... we have so little family left that we need... you need to hold on to them. I know Mom didn't take us to see her much after Dad left, but she's still our Grams. Just think about it, please?"

Kevin held up a syringe for the camera to see. "If I'm right, which I usually am, this should remove me from you permanently. That means you will wake up... alone."

He turned to look about the room, the tiny apartment his brother called home even though he could do better. "Alyx is a mess, so be patient with her, she has missed you horribly." That was putting it mildly, Kevin hadn't spoken to her in days, and the last time he'd seen her he'd... well, he'd pushed the boundaries a touch too far. Darien's presence pressing at his mind; forcing reactions upon him that, no matter how enjoyable, were inappropriate.

"I'm glad I got to know you again, got to know my brother and discover that I like the man he has become. But the time has come to move on. I don't need vengeance, or for you to try and live up to my ideals. You need to do what is right for you, it's your life. Even if that means walking away from the Agency. Live your life, Darien, and make certain you enjoy it."

Kevin hit stop on the recorder and dragged the video window to a file marked Darien. Beside it was one marked Alyx, her video already complete and in the file. There was nothing else to do. He simply needed to pack it up and leave it at the storage unit to be picked up with the rest of the equipment. All that remained was to leave a note so that Alyx would know to let Darien watch his video first.

She would understand why he'd gone about things this way. If the Agency got a hold of this computer it would never see the light of day, but Alyx... Alyx would know that, even though there appeared to be nothing of value on the drive, there, in fact, was and be able to retrieve and make use of it.

Alyx was minimum of five steps ahead of everyone at the Agency and she kept her plans very close to the vest. That was okay though, he doubted she intended harm, she cared far too much no matter how she tried to hide it.

Darien would be just fine with her to hold his hand.

Kevin finished packing up the laptop, making certain all the pieces were in the box, then dialed the number Alyx had given him, the same one that had resulted in his use of the Isis drives. All of it would be gone by tomorrow... and so would he.