A/N So Bella knows about Emmett now what?

branchirps: I was sick yesterday, and hubs gave me some weird pills last night. aka NyQuil and the freaky color green only made me think of... that's right Edward who else. So I had lovely dreams and woke up refreshed and ready to face my week! Funny how everything can lead back to thoughts of The Pretty or Twi...

maxipoo1024: Don't let him fool you. They're called roofies. I took them once because I wanted to get laid, but I fell asleep.

b: lol umm...I'm a sure thing, for hubs. He wouldn't need to slip me anything. Mainly he wanted me to STFU because I couldn't shut my brain down.

m: I think that's how we come up with this shit. Our brains run wild and NyQuil adds that little extra oomph...how else would we come up with "Hugabear?"

b: hahah some of my favorite lines are coming soon...

m: In the words of a snazzy, blue eyed crooner that my 2 year old daughter absolutely adores, "The best is yet to come..." oh and we are so doing this my way!

b: You make us feel all warm and fuzzy like freaky green NiQuil! Okay enough of our rambling...go read Eddie's.

Disclaimer: We do not own Twilight. All publicly recognizable characters are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended. But we do own all the mistakes, we are human, and not being paid for this. So go drink some artificial colored NyQuil and forget about the errors.

Collide

Chapter 20

WTF? Need I Say More?

EPOV

I'm amazing—in bed apparently—according to Swan! I can live with that. I wish I could remember more of it. Pizza, there was pizza? Bar condiments possibly?

Clearly, she has no clue that Emmett is gay and when he lets me in on his plan for a little practical joke, I cant resist. Emmett seems to be more than a shrewd business man and very perceptive about people. I think it will be funny to see her expression, plus it is something I typically wouldn't do, so it seems fitting. As he strips off his white shirt in the parking lot and proceeds to strut like a drag-queen peacock, even I'm a bit uncomfortable. Swan seemed truly shocked as she began to process the information, and I wonder briefly about their past together. I find myself wondering about much of Miss Swan's past now.

She always seems to knock me off my intended path with one shocking thing after another, so I agree to the completely unprofessional display. She's speechless now, and I am feeling a twinge of guilt. Somehow this utterly chaotic, graceful bird has gotten under my skin, and now I have more fucked up thoughts floating in my head than I can even make sense of.

She has a tattoo of a bird…that I licked? Christ. And I'd really like to do it again. I need to open a new document and start filling in the boxes of a massive spreadsheet to make sense of the last twenty-six hours.

I help Swan in the car feeling slightly ashamed for blindsiding her back there in the office.

I slide in behind the wheel and give a small apologetic smile before I start the ignition. My hands on ten and two, I check all the gauges and mirrors then pull out slowly, carefully following Emmett. His gay pride sticker catches a few of the rare rays of sunlight Washington has to offer, causing it to sparkle. I stifle a laugh still feeling a tad remorseful for the childish antics back there.

"So you think something is fucking funny?" She tries giving me the scare-the-shit-out-of-you look she gave to Emmett in the office. Yeah, I noticed that! But it's softer and I can't help replaying her words in my head again. "That's right. I fucked Cullen and it was amazing!" So I just give her a smirk.

"Well you have to admit that Emmett pretty much is a walking cliché. I mean all he needs is a disco ball for his rear-view mirror."

With that, her tough act seems to crack and she begins to laugh with me.

"I know right! We should totally get him one of those bumper stickers that says 'I love men that sparkle!'" She even makes tiny air quotes with her hands. Her hands felt good, really good on my body. I remember that.

"Watch it. He was hitting on me, you know? And I definitely do not sparkle," I deadpan.

"No, Mr. C, you do not. But you do like your board games that light up don't cha? Or maybe they only had the non-electronic version in your youth."

I narrow my eyes, glancing her direction, then I'm silent for a moment not sure what she is hinting at. God, I am sure there is some kind of meaning I should be attaching to this, but I'm only drawing a blank. Time for a subject change.

"Seems this was an interesting place to grow up?" I hedge.

"I'd really rather not discuss it," she mumbles switching on the music.

We are silent the rest of the short drive, and she has her hand on the door handle as if she is ready to escape, as soon as I pull in behind Emmett. Her knuckles are white, but she turns to face me before she opens the door.

"Look, Mr. C, um...I'm sorry for what I said. I guess I let Em get under my skin, and I just wanted to prove a point back there, but I guess it sorta back fired on me. So don't feel like…" she gestures between us "...this is something and you have to protect me or some weird shit. I'm not one of those girls. It was just sex. Really, I want to apologize for all this. I know you only wanted to get the papers signed." She is out of the car before I can respond.

So maybe I'm not amazing in bed? Was she just trying to make Emmett jealous? Shit...fuck…Why the hell did I drink so much last night? WHY DO I FUCKING CARE? Seriously, who the hell am I? Maybe it has something to do with this damn town. Forks: a detour off the path of sanity!

Emmett is standing by my door as I open it to step out. "Hey, Ed, we haven't scared you off yet, have we? Bells will chill out. She just needs to realize things aren't like when she left and everyone around here loves and misses her. Come on, looks like you need a drink."

"Uh, no, I think that's the last thing I need right now. Food couldn't hurt, though." I try to avoid the direct references of Swan, although I take in every word he says. Somehow, it is another piece to the elusive Isabella Marie Swan. What a lovely name.

She has just made it clear, in no uncertain terms, that there is nothing between us. Why I'm still lamenting over her, blows my mind. Maybe I am a pussy? Bella's hot pussy…my fingers inside her, playing her, stroking and taking her higher. Okay, focus no more thoughts of pussy. Clearly my dick didn't get enough either. This is not professional. This is not professional… I repeat the mantra in my head as we walk towards the front porch.

"Whatever, Ed, having a drink always helps the hangover but to each their own. Let's do this."

"Puuuusssss…puss, puss, puss…where are you?" A sienna skinned, long haired woman with a kind smile is calling out over the front porch as we approach.

Christ, this seriously can't be happening. My head goes straight to thoughts of Swan's pussy and my dick stirs again with the mere mention of a fucking cat. Am I twelve?

"Did you boy's scare her away like a pack of wolves again? Where is Puss?" her voice is serious, but sweet and soft spoken.

Oh this should be interesting.

E/N So now where do they stand? Seems Edward's memory is returning bit by bit, but he is still missing some important ughm...maneuvers. What will happen at lunch? Music for the chapters can still be found on the profile if you are interested.

Leave us your thoughts (are they as colorful as Eddies?) until next time!