A/N: Yeah, I know! 2 in one day! Yippee!
Yet another one inspired by my friend HouseMDLove, while talking about what to put next in her recent fic, You Betrayed Me. Please… don't ask about the state of our sanity.
Vampwolf
Edward: OMC! Bella!
Bella: OMC! What?
Edward: OMC! Bella!
Bella: OMC! What?
Edward: OMC! Bella!
Bella: OMC! What?
Edward: I'm going to change you!
Bella: Umkay.
--Edward bites her--
Bella: Ow! My fact that I was alive a second ago! (another TGS reference!)
--3 days later--
Edward: Now you're a beautiful vampire…
Bella: That hurt!
Edward: Told ya so.
Bella: It hurt more than the usual change!
Edward: How would you know?
Bella: Good point.
Carlisle: Bella… you must be… a vampwolf!
All: …?
Carlisle: For some odd, obscure reason, your vampire power is to change into a wolf!
Bella: But… that doesn't even make any sense.
Carlisle: Blame the writer's strike.
--Carlisle suddenly disappears--
Esme: That was weird.
Edward: Anyhoo, let's continue with our boring lives.
--doot do doo, insert cheesy vampire lemon here, doot do doo--
Jacob: 'Tis I! The ugly werewolf!
Edward: Gah! 'Tis him! Bella! I'm suddenly paralyzed! Do something!
Bella: Wolf power… activate!
--nothing happens--
Bella: Wolf power… activate!
--still, nothing happens--
Bella: F-cking wolf power! Just go already, dammit!
--Bella explodes, then shrinks--
Edward: …?
Jacob: …?
All: …?
Carlisle: It appears poor Bella has turned into a potato.
Esme: Oh dear. Hey, you're back!
--Carlisle suddenly disappears again--
Potato Bella: Help me! Help me!
Jacob: Do you hear anything?
Edward: Nope.
Jacob: So… Bella's dead?
Edward: Yep, pretty much.
Potato Bella: Edward, the fire of our love… if you kiss me, I will live again!
Jacob: I could swear I heard something.
Edward: I don't.
--later, at Emily's--
Sam: Mmmm, these mashed potatoes are really good! What'd you put in them?
Emily: I dunno, Jacob brought the potatoes…
Embry: Mmm, tastes like vampire!
A/N: Couldn't resist adding some Embry. Hoped it was funny.