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Chapter 21 – Doctor Helga

Rose woke up lying on the Doctor's chest. She felt his fingertips move up and down her bare back as the warmth from the silk sheets and duvet caressed her skin.

"Hey." She heard him say as she rolled her head up and saw him. He was wearing his glasses that he kept by the bed and sat a tablet on the nightstand that he had just been looking at.

"Are you working?"

"Nah. I was Christmas shopping." He told her as he took off his glasses and laid them on top of the tablet.

He wrapped both of his arms around her and kissed her head. "How do you feel after your bottle of wine?"

She giggled, "I'm fine. I think you have finally accomplished something I need to tell you about."

He smiled as he held his lips to her head, "What's that?"

"I feel, thoroughly shagged."

He chuckled proudly, "It's a red letter day then."

She smiled as she lay on his chest and closed her eyes again. "I could lie here all day. This is the best."

He rubbed her back with his fingertips, giving her skin goose bumps. He pulled the duvet back up to her shoulders and held her. "Yeah, this is wonderful."

"Did you sleep?"

"Nah. I just wanted to watch you sleep."

She smiled, "You are worried you will have another nightmare. Baby, are you alright?"

"I'm always alright, Rose."

She didn't move. "Oh, you drive me mad saying that. It's never true. Tell me what's on your mind. Let's try that."

"Phhh…. A lot. I don't even know where to start."

"You know, I shouldn't tell you this, but I want you to be honest with me so I'm going to be honest with you."

"Alright. What is it?"

"Dad is ready to cave on you going to the psychologist because he wants you to come back to work. Well, he is ready to accept you just going once."

"Oh, bloody hell. I'm not going at all! He's mad if he thinks I'll go. Absolutely barking."

Rose giggled as she rolled over and looked up at his face. "He said you told him you didn't need to go because you talk to me. I'll talk to him if you talk to me."

He looked confused at her as he ran his hand through her hair. "How do you mean?"

She smiled and cleared her throat. She spoke in a German accent. "I will be your Doctor. We will have our first session now. Tell me your name."

He smiled and felt her playful mood. She kissed his chest. He chuckled, "You know my name. The only one in the universe that will ever know my name."

She smiled up at him and continued in her German accent. She lay in the pillows and he turned to face her. She rubbed his chest. "We will call you Doctor for our little meeting today."

He smiled, "No. Call me John. You will be the Doctor for our session."

Rose smiled and ran her hand across his cheek. "This beard. It is very sexy."

"My wife thinks so. I believe it is because it tickles her thighs, but that's unprofessional."

She giggled, "You are right, we should focus more. We only have a certain amount of time-"

"We have nothing but time. I'm the one in charge of time." He laid his hand on her hip and smiled.

Rose continued in her terrible accent. "Tell me of your meeting with your boss on Plentitude. Have you read his proposal?"

"I have."

"And."

"I have to talk to my wife about it. There are some things about that I need to explain and I'm worried she will be proper cross."

"Your wife loves you very much, and she will not be cross if you will just tell her. You shouldn't think everything is a huge deal."

"Remind my wife of that when I tell you then, Doctor. Sorry, what was your name?"

Rose smiled, "I am Doctor Helga."

He raised his eyebrow. "Helga? That's a rubbish name."

"You offend me, John. Now, tell Helga what is this you are on about?"

He bit his lip. "I am the Princeps of Plentitude, but I'm also a partner with Tuwo Wenck. That's the only way I would agree to let him keep that machine after I altered it for Pete. I didn't want to have a boss to breathe down my neck and threat me like a child. We share the hospital business there equally."

Rose nodded, "And you thought you couldn't tell your wife this, why?"

"She would worry I was taking on too much. It really changes nothing. It's just some legal stuff there that I'm part of."

"Do you feel that you are taking on too much?"

He took a deep breath as he rubbed her bum, "His proposal has me taking a bigger role which will require us to travel more. But, to different planets for me to do my work. Never for very long, but-"

"More travel?" She smiled, then returned to her Helga voice, "Your wife would probably enjoy that. Would it be safe for your family?"

"Indeed. They have offered to give us a home on three other planets, but I'd prefer to live on our ship instead. At least for now. Homes on these worlds are equipped with the same safety precautions that our ship has, but…I don't know."

"You seem to be used to living on a ship. How does living in a house make you feel?"

He smiled, "I haven't thought of that. I suppose I am used to living on a ship. Helga, you're not bad."

Rose giggled, "So, we return to the question. If you accept this new position, will you be taking on too much? Remind me, John. You are Princeps of Plentitude. A partner there and what else?"

"A husband. A father. A Quauhtin with the Prime Guard of Earth. Co-Director of Torchwood in London. Partner with my father in law. I think that's all. Seems like I forgetting something."

"You own all of those bars in my country of New Germany."

He smiled, "That's right."

"Seems like a lot to Doctor Helga."

"It is. I thought about talking to my wife about it. I wonder what she would think about me stepping down as co-director of Torchwood?"

Rose looked surprised, "Stepping down?"

"Yeah. I never wanted to do it in the first place. Damn Pete tricked me into it, and then I tricked him back into it. I could step down now and he would still run it. I'd help him with anything he got into, of course. I just don't like being in charge and sending agents out."

"Knowing they might not come back?" Rose asked seriously.

"I've had to do too much of that in my life. I know I might have to return to that role one day, but I just don't want to do it now. I want to enjoy my family. Spend time with my wife. I'm still amazed she puts up with me."

Rose smiled and returned to being Helga. "Your wife loves you. You shouldn't worry about how much she puts up with. I'm sure you put up with as much from her."

"Oh really? Like what?"

Rose rubbed his chest, "I bet you didn't know your wife doesn't even know how to cook."

He smiled, "I had wondered about that, but didn't want to ask. It's not a big deal, even if it was 1934. I still find her amazing."

She smiled, "You shouldn't be frightened to ask your wife anything, John."

"She is frightened to ask me things. I'm sure of it. She's so worried she's going to make me angry."

"Well, it is a good thing she has me to speak for her then. I know her very well."

He chuckled, "Probably better than anyone."

"Tell me something you are frightened about telling your wife. I will tell you how she will react."

He sighed as he thought. "Something that I worry about telling my wife. Ummm…"

"How many things are there?"

He nodded, "A few things. Things I should tell her. Things I want to talk to her about, but she's not ready to hear them."

"Sometimes they need to be said."

"We have time. They can wait until she is more comfortable. I'm not dragging her into conversation."

Rose continued with her German accent, "Do you feel like she drags you into conversations you don't want to have?"

He raised his eyebrows, "Do I have to answer that?"

She giggled, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't do that. Just tell me you don't want to talk about it and I'll stop."

He kissed her lips quickly, "No. It's alright."

She smiled and rubbed his chest again as she returned to being Helga. "Your wife worries about this new life she has. She is scared of it and doesn't know how to even form any questions about it to you."

"My wife can talk to me about anything. I know a few things about what she's going through. What she will go through. It's not easy."

"Living so long. Will she age?"

"In my visions, she looks exactly the same. Even many years in the future. She's so beautiful."

Rose smiled and he felt her relief. She felt his hand squeeze her bum.

"There's no one like us, Rose. In the entire universe. I'm the only Time Lord here, and you are the only, whatever you decide to call yourself. We can do amazing things that would terrify anyone who understands the power we can yield. I used to depend on regenerating myself to continue on, but I don't have to do that anymore because you have the power to heal yourself, me or anyone else. You will become more comfortable using that, and everything else in time. But, I'll always see you as my Rose. Just the way I see you now."

He continued, "Your greatest fear is that you will change into something else. Something you would fear. And Rose, that's normal because you are a reasonable person and you know that this has completely changed your life. But, I'm here with you, and I'll never leave you. I'll help you with anything that I can."

"Rose, my greatest fear is that you will one day blame me for this happening to you. I had sent you away, and you looked into the Time Vortex to return to save me. I took as much as I could, but some remained. I have no idea what that will do over time, but I know you will live a very long life. I've lived for millions of years already and can tell you that you don't want to do it alone. I never want you to be alone. I want to be the one with you."

"Living a long time isn't what most think it is. It really isn't. You have to outlive everyone. As time goes on, you will start to see them as temporary in your life and you will stop to care because it hurts so very badly when they are gone. When you have had to watch so many wither and die in front of your eyes, it will make you guard your heart and distance yourself from them. I don't want you to grow to resent me because of this long life and you experiencing that. I fear you will one day that will cross your mind. All of the hurt I've already done to you, and all of the hurt that you will experience."

Rose whispered to him, "None of that was your fault. I can't blame you for that. It just…happened. You sent me away to protect me. It was me forcing the TARDIS to return to you that put the Bad Wolf inside of me."

"Can you feel her? The Bad Wolf?"

"Sometimes. She is a voice in my head. She whispers. Sometimes, I think you are not telling me everything, and she will assure me that you aren't. I want to say something but-"

"You should. I do keep too much from you. But, understand there are reasons sometimes and I can't explain them right away. Or even at all."

"What are you keeping from me now?" She asked as he caressed her face.

"That falls in that category. I can't tell you in this moment."

Rose groaned and returned to using her Doctor Helga accent. "Your wife will be proper cross with you I fear."

"I don't think a German would ever say that."

Rose playfully smacked him in the chest.

He looked in her eyes, "Seriously. You said something last night-"

Rose closed her eyes tightly, "Oh God, I really don't know what I might have said. Don't pay that any attention."

"You complained that I am a dark ocean of secrets, and you wanted to know more about me."

Rose didn't open her eyes. He could feel her embarrassment. "Baby, I don't need to know that. I can't believe I said that. I know you don't want to talk about any of that."

He rubbed her back. "No. Rose, you are right. I do need to tell you some of that. It's your right to know. You are my wife. I want this to work with us."

Rose looked surprised at him, "But, there are things you can't tell me. I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"Rose. I want us to share the rest of our very long lives together. You need to know these things about me. I'll let you see everything if you promise that you won't think of me any differently."

Rose could feel his worry and took his hand. She kissed it. "There is nothing you could tell me that would ever change how I feel about you. Please, feel my serenity. I traveled through countless dimensions to find you. I looked into the Time Vortex to return to you. When you lay dying, I returned you to me. There's nothing that will change my option of you. I love you more than you could know."

He smiled and she felt his apprehension. "I hope you still feel that way after you know." He rubbed her bum and sighed, "Okay, this will be….weird. Are you ready for this?"

Rose smiled. "What isn't weird with you?"

He chuckled as he leaned in and kissed her. As she opened her mouth to allow his tongue to dance with hers, he rolled over on top of her. She ran her hands through his hair. He continued to snog her as she felt her body tingle all over. It was a very strange sensation, and she wondered what he could be doing. Wasn't he going to tell her something? Maybe he had meant after the snogging. She felt his hands on her back as he sat up and rose her up to him. She opened her eyes and looked into his. As soon as she saw his face, she knew he had transferred some of his history to her.

Her eyes grew huge.

"Weird, huh?" He asked her as he looked at her. She could feel he was so nervous that it took everything in him to sit there in the bed with her, straddling her waist. "It's not everything, but that should explain most of it."

Rose's brain was busy sorting out the information.

"Well. You're a-"

He shook his head. "No, I'm not. Not anymore. And that was only because I married into that."

"She was the President's daughter?"

He chuckled, "Oh, and he hated me."

"They called you the-"

"No. I can't use that title anymore. It was officially erased from time."

"But, it was your right."

He shook his head. "I didn't want that. I hate politics."

"If you returned to Gallifrey, you would be-"

He shook his head. "Gallifrey is gone. There's no possibility of that ever happening. Besides, I really don't want to do it."

She smiled as he put his fingers over her lips. He asked her. "It will fade completely in a bit, there were things in there you can't know. Just tell me, does this change anything?"

Rose looked in his eyes. She could feel that he was fighting the urge to run more than he had in months. She took both of his hands in hers and smiled, "Baby. It only makes me love you more. Stay here with me."

She felt his relief as he smiled at her. "I'm finished running, Rose. Never again."

He cupped her face with his hands and kissed her. He licked her lips as she lay back down in the pillows. Rose could feel the relief continue to wash over him and she couldn't remember feeling him being more at ease. He rose up and kissed her on the end of her nose. "I love you, Rose."

She smiled, "I have something for you."

His eyes lit up, and he smiled his 10,000 watt smile at her. "Really? What is it?"

Rose spoke, "Friday, please play our shagging music."

"Of course, ma'am." 'Strict Machine' by Goldfrapp began to play.

He chuckled, "You fixed the music."

She smiled proudly as she returned to her German accent, "Doctor Helga fixed the music. I also locked it out so Jack, Jake and Tony can't mess with it again."

He laughed. "I'm sorry, Doctor Helga. You have not asked me about my sex life yet. Don't all physiologists do that?"

She smiled, "No. They do not John. But, since you brought it up-"

"Well, it's not up at the moment. You can give a bit and I could work something out."

She laughed as she took his staff in her hands and teased it. "John, how is your sex life?"

He smiled like a loon at her. "Oh, I have no words for it. It is…" He bit his lip.

Rose smiled, "I feel that. Yes, I agree."

He smiled at her, "Thank you for our session, Doctor Helga. I believe it helped."

Rose shrugged her shoulders, "Ah. I do what I can with the mess I'm brought. If you need another session, just let me know. But, you need to pay for this one."

He felt her playful mood. "What is the fee?"

"Wake up this island again, with your wife's screams."

He chuckled, "Oh, yes, ma'am. I'll do my best."

She rolled him over and straddled his waist, sliding him inside of her. She rubbed his chest as she leaned down to kiss him. He whispered, "Rose. I can't remember ever being happier, in all of my lives."

Rose smiled at him as she gently brushed his beard in her hands. "Neither can I."

She rose up and pumped up and down on him. He watched her pleasure magnify as soon as he whispered a word which caused her to begin to climax. He smiled and rubbed her clit as she shouted. He rolled her over and lay on top of her. He slipped inside of her as he pulled her leg up behind his back. He kissed her neck and chest as she continued to cry out. He panted as the sweat beaded up on his forehead.

He whispered something, unheard to Rose, and she met his lips. They snogged as he noticed the song playing changed to, 'Undenied' by Portishead.

'Is this your song?' he asked her in her head as he continued to kiss her.

'Yes. I love this song.'

He kissed her neck as she lay in the pillows and panted. He rubbed her breasts as he returned to her lips and they continued to kiss again. She wrapped her legs around his back and he slipped back inside of her and stroked.

'No strange words, baby.' Rose asked him.

He smiled as he continued to kiss her. 'No words. Yes, ma'am.'

She panted as he continued to stroke deeply inside of her. She felt his warm breath as he laid his head on her shoulder and grunted in a deep breath. Then he lay still on her. She was out of breath and ran her fingertips up and down his back.

"What song will play next, Rose?" He asked her quietly.

She smiled as they lay there waiting to hear what it would be. They both laughed when the Beatles, 'Get Back' started to play.

He rose up and laughed at her. "Oh, that's one I didn't expect." He rubbed his face with both of his hands and shook his head. He stood up beside of the bed and held out his hand to her. "Let's go take a shower, and I can continue my payment of my session in there."

Rose smiled as she took his hand.

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By the time they had taken a shower, the sun had risen. The light reflected off of the white sand on the beach. The Doctor stood on the balcony, watching Logan and Legate surfing. He was wearing a pair of jeans, a t-shirt with a green jumper. The wind blew through his wet hair. He stood with his arms crossed. A large wave came up behind Logan, which he was able to catch and ride it for a while. He fell backwards off of the board and cheered in celebration that he had gotten so far. The Doctor chuckled at him and shook his head.

Rose appeared in the doorway, "Baby, what are you watching?"

He laughed, "Logan and Legate surfing. I need to figure out how to do that. I looks fun."

Rose stood in the doorway and put on her earrings. She was wearing a sundress with a floral print. The sleeves were thin, and it had a razorback piece of material on the back. She had her hair down, and he couldn't help but think she looked ready to jump back into the bed for quick another shag. He turned and walked over to her to look at the dress she was wearing.

She smiled as he slid his hand down the dress slowly and took it in. "This is lovely. I've never seen it before."

"I can feel how you really feel about." She teased him.

He rubbed the back of his neck and sighed, "I have to know. Are you?"

She rubbed his chest. "Am I what?"

"Wearing any knickers?" He smiled like a loon at her.

Rose kissed his lips quickly and whispered, "Let's go downstairs and have breakfast, and then I'll tell you."

He groaned as she took his hand and led him downstairs.

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