Author's Note: This chapter contains sexy times ;)

Chapter Twenty-One

Cas heard the bedroom door open and didn't even bother looking up. "Go away, Sam."

He wasn't in the mood to talk, or eat, or to listen to another lecture about how he needed to pull himself together. He appreciated what the younger Winchester was trying to do, but he didn't want to be dragged out of this pit of despair. He didn't want to move on with his life like Dean had meant nothing to him. He didn't want to find a way to be okay without him.

He kept his face buried in the pillow that used to smell like his husband and waited for Sam to leave.

"Guess again."

He knew that voice.

Cas sat bolt upright. "Dean!"

Dean closed the door and leaned back against it with his arms folded across his chest. "You look terrible."

Cas couldn't believe he was there. He should have been a hundred miles away. "What are you – how did you find us?"

"Homing pigeon."

Cas frowned. "You have a homing pigeon?"

Dean raised an eyebrow at him.

"Oh. Oh. You…"

"I remembered," Dean confirmed. "Sorry to disappoint."

"How-how much?" Cas looked him up and down, searching for a hint that would tell him how Dean was doing. "Are you okay?"

"I wasn't." The words were blunt and Cas flinched at the underlying anger he could hear in Dean's tone. "I can't believe you left me to remember all that crap on my own."

"I thought-"

"-you were doing the right thing. Yeah. You always do."

Cas winced at the painful echo of another argument they'd had. "Dean-"

"No. You don't get to give me some sob story about how you didn't want to do it and it tore you apart and you missed me terribly but it was for the best. Because it wasn't for the best, Cas, it fucking hurt."

"I didn't want you to remember all the pain you had suffered."

"Well I did. I remembered my mum burning to death on the ceiling. I remembered finding my dad lying dead on the floor of the hospital. I remembered Sam dying in my arms from the knife that Jake shoved into his back. I remembered that hell hound tearing me several hundred new ones before it dragged me into the Pit. I remembered Hell. I remembered Jo and Ellen and Bobby and Benny and Kevin and Charlie-" His voice broke.

Cas moved towards him instinctually. "Dean, I'm so sorry-"

"Don't," Dean snapped, flinching away from his touch. "You weren't there. Not when I lost them, and not when I had to live through their deaths all over again. I needed you and you weren't there. It's too late now."

Cas dropped his hand to his side. He hadn't spared Dean the pain after all and instead of being there to help him through it, he had left Dean to cope on his own. Dean was never going to forgive him, not this time. It was one strike too many. "Then why are you here?"

"You screwed up." Dean's voice was hard, but after a moment he sighed and his expression softened. "But that's what we do. We screw up and we fight and the world comes pretty damn close to ending. But we get through it together." He raised his left hand so his ring was showing. "I think that's the whole point of this whole marriage deal."

"Dean… what are you saying?"

"I'm saying I'm mad at you. I'm saying that you had better not pull another stunt like this on me again because I'm sick and tired of losing you. I'm saying that we're married and we should damn well act like it."

"I don't-"

Dean seized a fistful of his shirt and for a moment Cas thought that he was going to punch him in the face.

Instead, Dean yanked him close and kissed him.

It took Cas a few stunned moments to realise what was happening. But then he curled one hand around the back of Dean's neck and slid the other up the back of his shirt. He pulled Dean in so tight that their bodies were practically fused together and kissed him with a fierce and furious passion.

Dean groaned into his mouth and Cas thrust his tongue through his parted lips. He shoved Dean back against the door and held him fixed in place, nipping at his tongue when he tried to regain control.

"I'm never letting you go," he growled.

"Then fucking act like it," Dean snarled back.

Cas captured his hands and pinned them above his head. "Stay."

Dean bucked his hips rebelliously and Cas thrust back twice as hard, making Dean gasp.

"I said stay." He loosened his grip but Dean kept his arms right where they were. Castiel's grin was predatory. "That's right." He buried his teeth into Dean's neck and delighted in the way Dean dropped his head back to bare his throat. He sucked and nibbled until he was sure there would be a deep, dark bruise, then laved over it with his tongue.

"Fuck, Cas," Dean panted.

"Is that an invitation?"

Dean looked at him with eyes blown wide by lust. "Hell yes."

"Good." Without preamble, Cas ripped Dean's belt open and hooked his thumbs under the waistband of his pants, yanking them down in one swift motion. "Off."

Dean kicked the offending garments away.

"Don't move."

Dean stayed absolutely still, but his gaze tracked Castiel's movement across the room.

Cas shucked his own clothes before he retrieved a bottle of lube from the drawer and returned to Dean's side. "You remember how this goes?"

Dean licked his lips. "Fuck yeah."

Those lips momentarily distracted him from his goal; he had to taste them again.

"You fucking tease," Dean gasped when Cas finally allowed them to part for air, rocking up against him to nudge their cocks together. "I don't even know how long it has been since we last did this, but I don't think I can wait a second more."

Cas was in thorough agreement with him. He squirted a generous amount of lube onto his fingers and dropped his hand between them. Dean writhed as Cas dragged their cocks together in a slow, slick slide.

"Stay still," Cas ordered.

Dean bit his lower lip and kept his body rigid as Cas worked them both until they were hot and heavy and straining for release.

"You- promised-"

"I did." Cas slicked up his fingers again and at the slightest nudge Dean spread his legs for him. Cas slipped his hand up behind his balls and dragged his fingertips along the crack, trailing lubricant. "This might hurt," he warned.

"Don't care," Dean rasped, sounding totally wrecked already.

Cas traced the tight ring of muscle around his hole. "Are you sure?"

"Just hurry the hell up so we can get to the good part."

Cas took the urgency in Dean's voice as a sign that he had no reservations about this, but he still went slow, massaging around Dean's hole before gently sliding one finger inside.

"Alright?"

"Cas…" Dean warned.

Cas slid in deeper and then started to move, coating Dean's insides with lubricant and carefully stretching him open. When he sensed that Dean was getting restless he crooked his finger and Dean yelped, jerking forward so his cock thrust into Castiel's stomach.

"Fuck," he hissed. "I forgot what that felt like."

Cas smirked. "I'm going to jog your memory. Over," he nudged Dean's prostate again, "and over," Dean's entire body spasmed, "and over."

"Fuck, just do it," Dean said desperately. "I need you in me. Right the hell now."

Cas pressed a kiss to his ear lobe. "Patience," he whispered.

A second finger joined the first and he scissored them, deliberately avoiding the prostate now so Dean wouldn't finish too soon. Dean whined and wriggled his hips, trying to drive Castiel's fingers in deeper. Only once Dean could comfortably take three did he finally pull his hand away.

"Do you want to move to the bed?"

Dean shook his head. "N-no. Do it like this."

Cas swept his hands down Dean's sides and then curved them around his ass. Dean's arms dropped to wrap around his shoulders.

There was a long, frozen moment as they just stared into each other's eyes. Cas saw the Dean that knew him, really knew him, looking at him with a blaze of fire and lust and deep affection, and he realised that his husband had come home.

"I missed you," he said.

Dean crushed their mouths together in a way that clearly meant 'no more talking'. Cas wasted no more time; he hoisted Dean up against the wall and kissed him hard. Dean wrapped his legs around him. Cas was prepared to take it slow but Dean dropped his weight, impaling himself on Castiel's cock and they groaned in unison.

Dean was hot and tight, so tight still, and fuck Cas had missed this, missed them. Because Dean was right. They made mistakes and they fought like there was no tomorrow, but when they were together nothing else mattered.

They both knew this wouldn't last long. Cas set up a hard, fast rhythm and Dean matched him thrust for thrust. Cas hammered his prostate and Dean swore to high heaven and Cas didn't care if their siblings were listening in because he wanted to hear every filthy sound that spilled from Dean's lips. Within minutes he could feel his legs trembling and heat pooling low in his belly.

"You're going to come without me touching you," Cas told him.

Dean could only nod. He was dripping with sweat, still trapped in the confines of his shirt, and his breath was coming in short, sharp gasps.

Cas rolled his hips, driving up into Dean as far as he could go. It only took three more thrusts before Dean cried out and his muscles clenched hard around Castiel's cock as he spilled all over their stomachs. Cas locked his knees and pressed Dean against the wall for balance as he followed him over the edge, waves of pleasure crashing over him.

When the high faded, Cas found he had almost no strength left. He pulled out, Dean lowered his legs and they slid bonelessly to the floor. Cas pulled him in for a sloppy kiss.

"I won't be forgetting that any time soon," Dean said.

Cas hummed his agreement. "It almost rivalled our wedding night." Then he paused, realising he might have said something he shouldn't. "Do you…?"

Dean smiled and kissed him gently on the tip of his nose. "I remember. That's why I came back."

"For the incredible sex?"

Dean thwacked him on the arm. "No. Because I remembered why I married you, and why you married me."

"For the sex," Cas deadpanned.

Dean laughed and pulled him in for another kiss. "Yeah, that and some other stuff."

Cas snuggled into him and let out a contented sigh. The floor wasn't particularly comfortable and at some point they would probably have to move to the bed, but for now there was no place he would rather be.

ooOOoo