"Michael and Akira are missing," Charlie informed them. "Along with Skip and Keiko."
They all huddled in Max's apartment. Cain swore. Yut-Lung dropped his head onto Sing's shoulder. Shorter and Eiji both grabbed Ash, who looked as if he was about to collapse or vomit or strangle himself.
"How?" demanded Sing. His voice came hoarse, the word scorching his windpipe. He wanted to cry. Everything—last night—he really believed everything would be okay. And now—
Lao put his hand on Sing's other shoulder. Tears slid down Sing's face. He had no comfort to give. Everything felt like it was lost. And he couldn't tell if it was his fault or not. He wanted to scream, but he didn't want to scare anyone.
Why did we get involved?
He felt Yut-Lung's hands on his back, rubbing circles in his shoulders despite the shell-shocked look on his boyfriend's face. He was crying, too, and he was still comforting Sing.
We got involved for you. You and Ash. You deserve it. The thought of Hua-Lung and Wang-Lung being allowed to still abuse Yut-Lung—and even if Blanca had still gotten involved, of him having to handle such a burden alone—no one should handle anything alone.
You're worth it.
Does this mean none of this could have been prevented? That there's nothing we could have done to have stopped it? No, there have to be things—things others could have done, even small things we could have done—but—
It's our faults. It's not our faults.
If it is, then I don't know how to go on.
If it's not, then things are even scarier.
"I've been nothing but a curse to his family," whispered Ash.
"Bullshit," shouted Jessica's voice. "See, I told you he would say something like that!"
Sing flinched.
Max marched into the room, looking directly at Ash, and he said: "We don't blame you."
"But I'm always running off and doing things on my own, of course Skip would do the same—"
"And Keiko—I didn't realize she was in so much—she feels like she needs to prove herself—" Eiji started.
Ibe appeared, grasping Eiji. Eiji leaned against hm. "I—wasn't like you," he managed.
"I know you are," Max said. "But you're learning, and Ash, given what you grew up with—" His face twisted. "You might as well be our son, too. I love Michael no matter what he's done. No matter how mad I can get at him."
No matter what.
Such a strange concept, and yet he knew it through Yut-Lung. Sing looked at Lao, and he knew.
Flawed as it is, twisted even, you love me no matter what.
What an assurance to fall back on. He looked to Yut-Lung, crying. I love you that way.
I don't know if you know it yet, but even if you don't, you hope so. And Lao… what more can I do?
I just hope you can see it. Sing squeezed Lao's arm.
"You're just seventeen," Ibe managed. "You don't have to be like me yet."
"The cops are probably at Club Cod right now," Jessica said. Max held Ash, and he didn't try to push Max away.
"If something happened to them, I can't—"
"I'll kill—" Max added, and then stopped when he saw Charlie's face.
"We'd handle it," Jessica said, and then she cussed, slamming her fist into a wall.
"Shorter!" Nadia appeared, still wearing her apron. Oh right. She must have been cooking breakfast. She grabbed him.
"Please don't lecture me," Shorter choked out.
"Not what you need right now." Nadia swallowed, her eyes streaming. "Cain, do you want to call your parents?"
"They won't answer," Cain said with a shrug. He ran his hand over his hair as if he couldn't care less.
Nadia slid her other arm around him. Cain's mouth formed a small 'o' but he didn't shrug her off.
"She's adopting you now, too, Cain," joked Sing. "Haven't got a choice."
"Don't have to," Cain said. "I'm fine—Lao probably needs—"
"Geez, you don't get that you don't have a choice," Sing said, trying to fish for some lightness. "She, like, basically dragged Lao and me home from the streets one day when our mom was drunk. Her parents were like 'two more mouths to feed?'"
Shorter blinked, as if he was just remembering that, and he removed his glasses, taking in his sister.
This really makes her happy, Sing thought. She loves feeding kids. They don't even have to be good kids, because all kids are hungry.
Yut-Lung smiled as he looked at Sing.
No one should handle anything alone.
But when we have to, we have memories.
Time is just a concept. We might be part of a vast multiverse, and even if we're not, we were together once.
We're not alone.
Cain slid an arm around Nadia, too.
"They're not there," panted Jenkins, arriving in the apartment with a donut in one hand.
"What?" A dozen voices shrieked. Yut-Lung leaped to his feet. He turned to Ash, mouth open. If—then where—
"We rescued several dozen kids," Jenkins said. "But—none of them have seen—we showed them photos, they didn't recognize—"
"Then where is my son?" bellowed Max.
Charlie cussed.
"It's time to get the big guys," said Jenkins. "The cops are here, but if you'd like to do the honors, Charlie. I think classes will be cancelled for—a while. Today, for sure, considering we're about to lose our history and chemistry teachers, plus the doctor, vice principal, and principal. And I don't think resumes will be rolling in after the news—"
"Oh, who cares," said Jessica. "Where is my son?"
Ibe clutched his head.
"Dino might know," Ash said. "If he did anything to Skip—I'm—"
Yut-Lung's head throbbed. This was too much. Just too much. Skip and Michael and Akira and Keiko and his mother and Griffin and Wang-Lung and Hua-Lung about to rot in jail forever and— "I want to see."
"I think it's your right," Charlie agreed. "Max, Jessica, Ibe, we have to get to the station too."
"I'll stay with them," Nadia said, gesturing to the kids.
Max nodded. He squeezed Ash's shoulder. They all trooped out. Relief settled in Yut-Lung's spine. They all needed to be there. He wanted to see Wang-Lung's face, know that he was disgraced, know that there was nothing more waiting for him but the prison he spent years encasing Yut-Lung in. And his mother. And we did nothing but exist have have things done to us, and it was still enough for you to hate us.
"Wait outside," Charlie ordered them as he headed into the main office building. Yut-Lung trembled from head to toe. Sing held onto him.
And then Ash let out a yelp. Yut-Lung whirled around.
Blanca strode towards them.
"You're free," Ash managed, staring up at him.
"I am," Blanca confirmed. "And I hear we have missing kids."
You're free.
Are you? Yut-Lung wondered, his hair blowing around him. He pushed it away from his face.
That's up to you.
Don't run.
Blanca met his eyes, and his face softened.
"Thank you," Yut-Lung managed. "You found my mom."
Blanca cleared his throat, but Yut-Lung grabbed him before he could back up, hugging him. Blanca let out a sound like he was being strangled, but Yut-Lung knew he was too small to hurt him. He pulled away, face red.
Ash smiled, standing next to Yut-Lung. Sing watched Yut-Lung, his expression somber.
The door opened, and cops pushed Dino, his hands behind his back and his face screwed up as if he was in agony. Yut-Lung glared at him. Remember when you raped me? He slid his eyes to Ash, whose face had turned gray. Eiji held his shoulder, but Ash stood with his spine straight as it could be.
Dino's eyes narrowed when he saw Blanca standing with them. "I see you took a deal."
"You have no one to blame but yourself," Blanca replied. The doors to the classrooms must have burst, because students were flooding around them, teachers gaping, trying to find out what was going on. Phones snapped photo after photo.
How do you like people photographing your humiliation, asshole?
"Don't you have something else you should be worrying about?" Dino's voice. Directed at Ash.
Something.
No, someone.
Max lunged at him. Blanca had to restrain him. "Where's my son? What did you do, you—"
Yut-Lung couldn't hear the rest. All he knew was that he saw Wang-Lung's face, shouting commands that he didn't hear because they didn't matter anymore, lips twisted in a snarl, eyes that wanted to lacerate Yut-Lung from the moment they caught him, but he couldn't.
I'm not yours.
He felt warmth behind him, the cold wind blocked, and he realized Sing stood there. Yut-Lung took a step forward.
"Yut-Lung?" Sing questioned, and he heard his name. He turned. And then he took another step, and another, and Sing was next to him the whole way to the cop car that Wang-Lung was about to be unceremoniously shoved into.
He was shouting. Words Yut-Lung had heard his entire life. "You're nothing but a failure! You have the blood of our father, that demon, inside you too! You're a Lee, you're a snake!"
No, I'm a dragon.
And I want to be a good one.
He stopped a few feet away. Wang-Lung's chest heaved as he glowered. "You'd never give evidence. You're too much a coward, and any defense attorney would be able to point out that you enjoyed—"
"Fuck off," Sing snarled.
"I just want to tell you one thing," Yut-Lung said. His voice came out so much quieter than he expected.
"If you want a why, it's because you were born a—"
I hate you.
I don't care about you.
I love Sing. He loves me.
"My mother and I," said Yut-Lung. "Are going to have a good life."
And you won't.
He walked away.
"What's the over under on Dino giving any useful information to help himself out?" Shorter inquired once they were back in Max's apartment.
Ash bit his lip. He met Shorter's eyes and knew Shorter already knew, too.
"Zero," Cain offered.
"He probably just wants to stick it to me, now," Ash admitted. He pulled his knees up to his chest. Max, Jessica, and Ibe had gone with Charlie to the police station. Nadia was stress-baking. His cheekbones pressed into his knees. "I'm so sorry, Eiji," he choked out. Your sister's in danger.
Griffin… He was supposed to be close. After so many years of being just a ghost, he was tangible now.
I can't let you go through anything like that, Eiji.
It's the worst feeling in the world.
No, it's not. Because at least I know Griff loved me. And you love Keiko. And I love you.
Ash rose.
"No," Nadia said, holding a spatula at him. "My answer is no."
"It's actually not what you think," Ash blurted out, his face red. "I think—there's someone else who might know where they might be. Who isn't currently in a jail cell. And if we could talk to—"
Nadia arched her eyebrows.
"Oh no," said Shorter.
"Ash," Nadia said, sighing as she set the spatula down. "It isn't your fault. You don't have to fix—"
"Not exactly," Ash said. "But it's still—something wrong, something putting people I love at risk—" His stomach churned. How long had it been since he could say out loud that he loved people? In a crowded room, no less? And Skip… if they touched Skip, he didn't know what he'd do. The mere idea churned his stomach, made him want to scream and scream until his throat was raw and bleeding.
He spotted Eiji watching him.
Live, so he can live.
Even if it wasn't his fault, he had to do what he could. He had to try. Because he knew this world, even if it wasn't fair that he did. "Please let me."
Nadia pulled out her phone. "Shorter, I'm leaving you in charge. I'll be back."
"Do you want me to go with you?" Eiji asked.
You are. Ash shook his head. "I won't be long." He gripped Eiji's shoulder, then followed Nadia out into the day. The sun glared down on them, harsh and yet the air was still chilled despite the springtime. She took him to the staff housing, past where Hua-Lung used to live and to another house, where she knocked on the door.
"Nadia!" George answered, rubbing his forehead.
"Bet it's gonna be busy for you the next couple days," Nadia commented.
"No kidding." George spotted Ash.
"Can I talk to Arthur?"
George's eyebrows rose. "I'll ask."
"If he says no, just tell him the police will be on their way," Ash called.
"Fair."
Nadia nodded at Ash as she turned to head back to Max's. "Good luck."
"Thanks," he whispered. For believing in me.
George led Ash inside. Arthur sat scowling on a couch, jeans ripped and t-shirt stained.
A laugh broke through his lips when he saw Ash. "Well, well. How desperate do you have to be to come here and ask me?" He flexed his fingers. The ones with scars.
"I came without the cops," Ash said. "Because as soon as they realize Dino isn't going to break, and neither will Foxx and Dawson is too much of a fucking idiot to know anything, they're going to come for you."
"Cool."
"Do you want me to beg?" Ash demanded, nostrils flaring. He could hear it, embedded in Arthur's voice. He hated Ash beyond anything. It poisoned every cell in his body. And he didn't know why he was so hated.
No, he did know why.
I have everything. And it still got me here. With the life I led.
You had nothing, and you still wound up here, too.
We should be the same, and yet.
"Yes," Arthur said, staring at him, eyes jagged emerald daggers. "I want you to get down on your knees, and I want you to grovel, and I want you to beg and offer to do anything I want, and then I want to smash your face in, break your perfect nose, and give you false information so that you can feel what it's like to have no hope of ever—"
"What did I ever do to you?" Ash shouted. "Your fingers? You—"
"You—"
All you had was pride. And the only reason you had that was fear.
"It's a fucking exhausting way to live," Ash said, heart thumping.
"Hustling's fucking exhausting, which your Skip is probably about to find out," Arthur taunted.
Ash curled his fist. No. No. He had to stay calm. George was right there. "You don't have to compensate so much."
George moaned.
"Excuse me? You—" Arthur leaped to his feet. George took a step forward.
Yut-Lung's right, isn't he? You have no understanding of your true feelings. Or even that you have them.
Yut-Lung's my friend.
"Someone will surely love you," Ash said.
Arthur swung at him. Ash ducked.
"I can't—I will—"
"You can't beat me," Ash shouted as George stepped between them. "Why do you have to?"
"You—"
"Someone will love you someday," Ash said. "I can't imagine why and I feel fucking sorry for them, poor bastard, but they will."
Arthur's face was red. "I'm not a pathetic mousey—"
"Like me?" Ash bellowed. "You're failing logic 101!"
"This was a bad idea. Ash—" started George.
If you don't talk, Arthur, you're going to prison! But he couldn't bring it up. Skip's life was on the line. "I never hated you."
"That's exactly it!" Arthur glared at him, staggering back. He collapsed onto the couch.
You didn't want to everyone be indifferent. And yet all you do is control people with fear because you don't have anything else.
Well, I'm sure you have something. I don't know what it is, though.
"Please," Ash ground out. "Please, Arthur. Where's Skip? Where's Keiko, Michael, Akira?"
"I want you to suffer more than I want to escape jail, Ash, so—"
"You matter more than that!"
Arthur froze. He gaped up at Ash.
"For Christ's sake!" Ash screamed at him. "Why don't you put any value on yourself? Why? You don't have a super tragic backstory, oh boohoo, how sad for you that you didn't get raped every day for years! Prison fucking sucks, Arthur! It's not worth it! Oh, but maybe then you'd get raped every day, is that what you want? You don't have to suffer to be valuable! You don't have to do anything great to matter! Or do you want to prove to yourself that you don't matter, that everything about this fucking shit world is right, so you can just die in spite like you lived? Or do you actually want to matter? Because if you do then fucking help yourself out and me out too!"
George was shaking. Arthur's face twisted. He let out a scream and pounded his fist into a pillow.
"The wall would be more efficient, have more effect," Ash snapped.
Arthur hurled the pillow at him. "The docks."
"Huh?"
"One of the piers. They have a warehouse." Arthur closed his eye, slumping down. "Happy now, asshole?"
"Yeah," Ash said, looking to George, who was already on the phone. "Thank you."
"Go to hell!"
"Thank you anyways." He opened the door to find Blanca standing there, a smile on his face. "What?"
"I'm escorting you back."
"I hate you."
Blanca looked down at him.
"Okay, fine. I don't." Ash stalked ahead, Blanca following. "Happy now?"
"Yes," Blanca said quietly.
"We found them," Blanca said an hour after Ash returned. He'd been staying at Max's place too. Alex set down the beater he'd been licking, since Nadia let them have the leftover frosting.
"You what?" Eiji leaped to his feet, clutching Ash.
"They're unharmed. Physically. Scared. Max said they're going to a hospital just for evaluations, but no one hurt them."
Ash wilted. Yut-Lung grabbed Sing in an embrace, and Lao shook his head.
It was dark by the time the door opened and Max, Jessica, Ibe, Skip, Michael, Akira, and Keiko spilled into the crowded apartment. Charlie brought up the rear, rushing to kiss Nadia.
Eiji stared at his sister. Tears built in his eyes. Skip raced towards Ash. Akira clung to Michael.
I failed you.
It wouldn't leave his mind. The thought, like a block of wood, kept ramming inside his skull. He doubled over. "Keiko—"
She burst into tears. "Don't yell at me!"
"I won't; I won't!" He was crying now, and his arms were around her, and hers around him, and she was sobbing into his chest like she was a toddler and he had to carry her home after she scraped her knee at the playground. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I—"
"I was—so—scared—" She kept sobbing. The story emerged: how she wanted to sneak out and find that club, how then Foxx told Skip Golzine wanted to see him and he was worried, how Keiko came with him and refused to wait outside, how Akira and Michael followed because Keiko had told Akira to leave her alone, that she was annoying, and Akira didn't buy it.
"Aki-chan's—not annoying," Keiko managed, gasping. "I just—they locked us in this closet, I—I wanted to be brave and do something for once, like you—"
"I'm scared," Eiji choked out. "I've been scared the full time I've been here, Keiko."
"Huh?" She pulled back, her eyes red and streaming. "But you—whenever I talked to you, I—I thought you were happy—I thought if I came here I could be—"
"I wasn't—entirely honestly," Eiji told her. "But I didn't lie, either—it's still—the best year of my life, too. Despite it all." Because I wasn't useless, and I never was, and I know that now.
You aren't, either. He squeezed her tighter. "I'm sorry I—wasn't there for you, I—if I was open with you—"
"Not your fault—"
"I was stupid; I—"
"I'm the stupid one—" Wait. He didn't want her blaming herself. "You're not stupid. It just—you're not. You're really not. I'm glad you're okay." He held her close.
"I heard your boyfriend helped," Keiko sniffled. "Thanks, Ash."
Ash looked over at her, mouth open. "I'm happy you're all right."
"You know," Eiji said. "I'm quite sure this is how Griffin feels about you."
"Who's Griffin?" asked Keiko.
"My brother," Ash answered. "I'm—hopefully going to see him for the first time in years. A lot's happened." He fell silent.
Keiko reached out to hug Ash, too. She knew the feeling, didn't she?
I want to get to know you. I want to be a brother to you. I want to protect you however I can. I want to see you grow and to let you see me grow.
One arm around Keiko. One around Ash. Ibe behind him, and he felt, finally, like he wasn't running, panting, out of breath, trying to catch up. Even if they were limping, they were with him, and he was with them, and none of them were dead weight.