I know this story is probably dying, but I am going to try and keep it going. I don't think I am good at straight smut, so I am going to try to dig a little deeper. I do plan on finishing it, somehow, if I can find it in me. thanks to those of you sticking around and reading it…
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A few weeks later, Carli lay in Eric's bed as she listened to the deepening breathing of her lovers. Her body was spore everywhere and she sighed quietly. She thought back to that first night in the office of the bar she had forgotten the name of, and she remembered considering walking away from Eric and Pam that night. She had just drank more and Eric had to help her to his car to bring her to his apartment that night and others to come. She had closed her eyes and compared Pam's soft feminine hands to Eric's large calloused hands, his long tongue to her soft one, and his touch to her touch. There had been nights alone with one or the other as well as night with them all together. Carli felt herself losing her own sense and her control, and she stared at the ceiling as she bit her swollen lip. She turned her head to see Eric in a deep slumber on his side, his hand tight around her waist. Pam was at the end of the bed sleeping horizontally on her stomach with her hair over her face. Carli scooted out of bed and went into the bathroom, using it quickly and then looking into the mirror. Her hair was messy and she looked closely at her lips that were swollen and bruised. Her nipples were hurting at any contact, and everywhere down below was aching. She fixed her hair and looked around for her clothes, walking quietly through the rooms and pulling them on slowly as she found them. Carli grabbed her purse and a hat and called a cab, locking the door behind her as she left. She needed to be away. She needed to breath. Carli slipped into the cab and leaned back as she told the driver where to go, and he glanced at her for a long moment. The radio was on and she heard a familiar song come on, and she took a deep breath. She heard Troy's voice and then her own, and a tear slid down her cheek. Was this the part of Eric that had gone all wrong? Was the time in LA the part where things had taken this depraved turn? She tried to focus on the beautiful song that her friend had written, and she saw Pam's broken face in her mind the first day that she had seen her. She saw the smile as Pam held her after they had sex, and she closed her eyes tightly together. Carli saw the look on Eric's face at her hotel door after the explosion, and the love was apparent to her as he had pulled her into his arms.
Carli was alerted by the driver that she was home, and she pulled money from her purse to pay him. She walked into the dimly lit apartment, chaining the door behind her after making sure that Travis's door was closed and he was there. She walked back to her room, glancing at the clock to see that it was three am as she sat on her bed. Carli dropped her purse on the floor and walked into her bathroom, running a hot bubble bath as she tried not to think about the late hour. She closed her door and undressed, slipping into it with a long sigh of relief. She closed her eyes in the dim light of the candles she had lit, and took a breath. "Car? Are you okay?" Her eyes opened slowly at Travis's soft voice, and she bit her lip and winced.
"I'm so sorry, Trav. I just wanted to soak for awhile."
"It's fine. Do you need to talk or anything?" Travis asked, and she smiled at his sweet offer.
"Come in, if you want. I really just needed to…..cleanse." Carli said, and he sat behind her and rubbed her neck. That didn't hurt and she leaned her head forward.
"You're tense." Travis noted, and she smiled bitterly in agreement. His hands rubbed her neck and then her shoulders, and she felt his hands in the hot water. "That feels good, the water." Travis said, and she turned her head to look at him.
"Want to come in? It is a big tub and you would have your own end." Carli offered, and his eyes looked curiously at her.
"Would you mind?" Travis asked, and she shook her head. They had lived on tour buses and in apartments together for periods of time, and the closeness didn't bother her. It made her remember their moments together and how he felt pressed against her, but she pushed that away. "I'll keep these on." He stood and indicated to his boxers and she nodded. He slipped into the other end and slid his feet over her calves, stopping at her knees. He looked at her for a long moment, and she slid under the water for along moment to wet her hair. She slid back up and he spoke. "What is wrong, Carli?" He had seen her distraction when they sat together writing, when they were out eating or hanging out, and obviously now. He had read the troubled words that she had written, and had remained complimentary but not curious.
"I just want to know myself again, Trav." Carli said slowly, and stared at the water. "I feel out of control and like I am losing everything I know."
"You will never lose yourself completely, Carli. You just need to change things around until you are happy with them." Travis suggested, and she stared at him. "I know how strong you can be. I know how good you are."
"Really?" Carli asked with a bitter laugh, and leaned her head back. "I am nothing like that."
"You are. It dies not matter what you have done before this moment because you can always change what happens from now on. Don't do whatever it is that makes you feel this way about yourself."
"Was I strong when I was with him?"
"Ryan, you mean?" Travis asked, and she nodded slowly.
"You guys were good together for awhile. You seemed to ground each other, but I think that life got in the way and things just happened. You went your way and he went his." Travis said, and she blinked as sadness hit her.
"Do you ever regret that night in the bus?" Carli asked, and his eyes deepened as she looked at him.
"I can still taste you, Carli. I guess that part of me does, but I wouldn't want to ever forget it." Travis told her, and she smiled.
"What part of me?" Carli pressed, and he looked down.
"I taste your lips, your skin, and….. inside of you. Why do you ask?" Travis replied shortly, and she closed her eyes.
"I wish that I had not shut you out after that night the way that I did. I liked the feeling of you." Carli said, and shook her head. "It's too late. I have done too much to even go back."
"What made you go to her?" Travis asked, and she raised her eyebrow. "When did it happen the first time?"
"I'm not sure. I was at a party the first time, and she touched me. We didn't sleep together that night, but I knew that I liked it. After that, she was in LA and lost her girlfriend during my time there recording and I spent the night with her. I comforted her. I like Pam, but it has gotten so out of control."
"How does Eric feel about it?" Travis asked, and she remembered earlier as Eric had asked her to touch herself. She had spread her legs, wet from Pam's tongue, and fingered her sensitive clit as he pushed Pam onto her knees and entered her. They had fucked hard, and his eyes has been on Carli's pussy for a long time before he finally closed his eyes and came inside of her friend. Carli shuddered a little, not sure how to sort her feelings about the event. "Is he jealous?"
"Not anymore," Carl replied in a hoarse voice, and looked up at Travis. "He found a way around that."
Travis looked back at her, and understanding passed over his face. "Oh. He is making you do both of them?"
"I didn't stop it." Carli said, and pulled her knees up to rest her head on them. It had started with her lovers pleasing her and her only, watching the other find ways to make her happy during the times that they were all together. Pam loved the times alone at Eric's if he was out, searching Carli's body for any way to make her orgasm. Carli worked to return every favor, and she would like when Eric would come home to fuck her as Pam rode her eager mouth. Eric was still demanding of his own time, and he would take her out like any good boyfriend and she could see the love under all of the romantic gestures before they got home and he would turn it into something else. He knew where to lick, where to bite, and where to fuck her and she liked it all. He had taken to watching Pam use various toys on Carli, and then Carli using them on Pam as he watched before he could not handle it anymore and would take her. The night he had first reached for Pam instead had taken her by surprise, though she had still found herself wet at the sight and the sounds they made and came against her own hand. She watched every time after that, seeing how they moved together and hearing what they said, and she could see the comfort. She could see the way that they moved so easily together, and Carli knew that there was more there than a moment in a threesome. She had left the apartment that night as it had hurt her finally and deeply, and now she looked at Travis. "I never said no to any of it. Now I know how bad an idea it was and I should have walked away."
"Oh, Car." Travis said, and she blinked as tears filled her eyes. "I wish I knew what to say."
"I wish that I had chosen you after that night." Carli said, and he only looked quietly at her. "I know I have gone too far to even think that it could be normal with us."
"Do you want there to be an us?" Travis asked, and she shrugged.
"I want normal." Carli said, and he moved forward to press his chest against her knees and stroke back her hair. "I almost wish I had not left Ryan sometimes. Is that crazy?"
"No. I wish he was here as well." Carli let the tears slide down her cheeks and he kissed her hair until they got out, him first as he held a towel over his wet shorts.
"Can you hold me tonight?" Carli asked, as he started to walk out. "I don't want to be alone." He looked at her and nodded and she smiled gratefully. Travis left the room and she dried off and dressed in shorts and a long tee, and brushed her teeth and hair before getting under the covers. Her pain was less, and she curled up as she rested against her pillows. Travis entered the room and she watched as he got under the covers and leaned forward to kiss her hair again. She straightened her legs and he pulled her against his bare chest as she slid her arms around him and pressed against his warmth. She kissed his skin slowly and he gripped her hair as she slid her lips unknowingly over his chest, and she felt him harden in his dry shorts. Carli's eyes widened and she looked up at him. "I'm sorry, Travis. I think I forgot where I was and who you were for a moment. I just wanted to be close to your warmth."
"Carli, you really know how to make me forget how to control myself." Travis told her, and she closed her eyes and held him. She felt his hand loosen in her hair and she slowly drifted off to sleep as he stroked her back soothingly, and slept peacefully in his close embrace. She woke up in the afternoon and slowly moved away from him, blushing as she remembered the night before. She had lost herself there for a second, and she shook her head angrily at herself. Travis was her best friend and she didn't need to cross that line. She had her chance with him and had run back to Eric, but for what? Even the deep love that she had felt for him was fading slowly, and she wondered if they ever had any chance of being normal. Carli used the bathroom and went to make a cup of coffee, sitting at the bistro table as she stared outside for a long moment. Her phone rang and she hurried to the bedroom to grab her purse and bring it to the living room as she looked at it, sighing as she saw Eric's name. She chose to ignore it and returned to the table and sipped her coffee again. The afternoon seemed pretty peaceful without the drama that would probably occur if she spoke her mind. She settled on the couch with her notebook and pen, staring at it before she scribbled words here and there. "Hey." Travis greeted her, and she glanced up to see him standing in the entrance to the hallway in a pair of shorts with his hair rumpled. "Sleep OK?"
"I did. Thanks for listening to me and holding me last night. I have kind of missed that since the tour and staying in Chicago with you." Carli admitted, and he nodded at her. "It was comforting, though I am a bit ashamed to even consider what you must think of me."
"I think that you can move past anything. It has been a rough few months, and I am sure that contributes to any of it." Travis replied, and she glanced up to see discomfort pass over his face. "I am sure that you will figure it out."
"You'll always be there for me, Travis? I never want to fuck up so badly that you would be gone." Carli said, and he smiled.
"I don't see that happening." Travis said as he passed her on the way to the kitchen. "I do want you to be happy though." Her phone rang again and he brought it to her, and she saw Pam's name. she ignored that as well, and stared at her paper again as Travis joined her on the couch. They wrote together and played melodies for awhile, and then showered and left to get something for dinner. She could see the curious look in his eyes from time to time that night, and she happily settled in his arms that night when they were done watching movies. He slid his arms around her waist and settled behind her, and she felt his lips against her hair. They fell asleep slowly, talking about the upcoming record and the writing, and she smiled as his fingertips stroked her stomach slowly. She woke up to a knocking at the door, and her eyes slowly opened as she sighed. Carli stood up and pulled a shirt over her tight tank top and shorts and stumbled through the living room. She peeked through the door and saw Pam there, her hair curly around her beautiful face.
"What?" Carli asked, opening the door only as far as the chain would let her.
"Nice greeting. Can I come in?" Pam asked, her eyes changing into slow anger as she saw hurt the look in Carli's eyes.
"Not here." Carli said, and Pam rolled her eyes.
"I would like to talk, Carli. Eric would like to talk as well. Meet us for a drink later tonight after our event?" Pam's eyes were hopeful, and Carli sighed.
"I'll think about it." Carli said, and Pam stared at her for a long time. "Just text me later and tell me where you are thinking about. I suppose I do owe that to you."
"You do." Pam assured her, and walked away slowly. Carli closed and locked the door, and went back to bed and snuggled up to Travis. He pulled her to him and she kissed his shoulder softly, and he ruffled her hair. They got up and made lunch later and worked through some more songs, as they did daily, and then she took a very long shower. Her phone chimed as she got out and she glanced at it to see that it was from Pam and it listed the name of a restaurant near her. She stared into the mirror and figured that she owed them a proper goodbye. She put on some bright make up and brushed her hair straight slowly, pulling on a black skirt and long sleeved pink shirt with boots, and stepped out of her room. Travis was dressed himself and he glanced at her with a whistle. He asked where she was going and she said that she was going to explain some things to Eric, and he frowned at her. He mentioned that he was going to go out with some friends and they both pulled on jackets and headed to the door. Before they opened it, Travis looked into her face before leaning down and pecking her glossed lips.
"Be careful and stay strong, Car."
"Thanks. I will." Carli replied, leaning up for another longer kiss. "See you later?"
"Sure thing." Travis replied, looking worriedly at her. They left and she started walking to the place she was meeting them, and stepped inside the glass doors when she saw the sign. She glanced around the small but nice place and saw just Eric at the table, dressed in black slacks and a white button up shirt that was loosened around the neck. He was speaking to the waitress and smiling at her, when his eyes met Carli's. He nodded at the waitress, who turned and started to give Carli a dirty look before she smiled. She greeted her as a fan as Carli walked up, and she forced herself to smile and be friendly as she fought the power he had over her being so close. His eyes burned into her the whole time and she took a deep breath when the girl finally walked away. Carli looked at Eric, who leaned down to brush her cheek gently with his lips as he met her eyes.
"Carli. I am glad that you came tonight." Eric spoke low, and she nodded slowly as she stared at him. She still felt the brush of Travis's lips on hers, but Eric's blue eyes melted her slowly. "You just left me, left us, the other night." He kissed her on the lips then, and she slid her arms over his hips to hold on as she felt her knees weaken. When he pulled away, she looked down and took a deep breath. Eric quickly took her coat, his eyes raking over her tight fitting shirt as he hung it on her chair that he pulled out for her. She sat down and ordered a martini from the waitress and picked up the menu and stared at it as Eric stared at her. "Why did you go?"
"It has gotten a bit…..intense for me now." Carli replied softly, and bit her lip. "I don't want to be involved in any of it anymore."
"You do not want me any longer?" Eric questioned her, and she met his eyes as he took one of her hands from the menu and laced his long fingers through it, leaning closely to her.
"I don't want to share." Carli specified, and he raised a blond eyebrow at her.
"Yet you were fine with jumping back and forth between beds?" Eric asked her, close enough and soft enough for nobody to hear.
"I tried it, Eric. It is not me and not what I want." Carli said weakly, staring at their hands. The waitress came back and she ordered a salad without much thought and he ordered a dinner and another martini. "I don't know anymore who you want more."
"You never thought it would transcend into more, Carli? You had to realize I would end up doing more as time went on, and sex with both of you seemed to be right at the moment. You let her do many things to you that is very similar to what I do. I am not complaining at all, lover. Pam means nothing to me compared to you. I see you when I see her now as a result of our shared nights together, and I connect her with you. It is as simple as that."
"That is not simple, Eric. None of this is simple. I wish I had never met you sometimes when I think about it." Carli blinked her watering eyes and he slid a hand under her chin to meet his blazing blue eyes.
"I will never forget meeting you, my love. It was such an mundane afternoon until I heard your laughter as you stepped through that door, and looked into your beautiful face. I was so lucky to kiss you, touch you, and even more so to fall in love with you. I do not want to lose you." Eric told her, and she let a tear run down her cheek. "You do not want to lose me either. "
"Eric, I cannot pretend it all didn't happen." Carli said, and looked down at the table as the waitress set their food down. She felt stupid crying there, and she wiped her eyes with a small gesture.
"Eat, lover. Calm down and we will talk after dinner." Eric urged her, and she nodded. She took a small bite of the chicken on the huge salad and chewed it thoughtfully, and Eric started on his plate.
"Where is she? Where is Pam?" Carli asked, and he looked at her in surprise.
"I asked if we could be alone for dinner." Eric replied, and she met his eyes. "She has things to say as well, but I wanted dinner to be between us."
"Well, we will be meeting somewhere then. I am not going to your apartment tonight." Carli told him, and his eyes questioned her words silently. They ate slowly and she mentioned going to Chicago for the tour, hoping to make ending things easier. She would be gone for awhile, and she figured that might make a difference. He paid for the dinner gracefully, handing the folder back to the waitress with a card inserted in faster than Carli could blink.
"A proper man buys his girlfriend dinner." Eric told her, standing up to help her with her coat as she stood with a shake of her head. He took her hand as they left the building, and stroked her gently with his thumb. "Come somewhere quiet with me where we can talk." She looked up at him and his eyes were burning into hers, and she pressed her lips together. A few nights ago they were painfully swollen but tonight she longed to kiss him badly as their gazes locked. He read her mind and leaned down to meet her lips and she felt his hand slide into her hair. Carli wanted to fight him but her lips opened eagerly to allow him to deepen the kiss, and she whimpered against his mouth. A few kisses later as they walked and she found himself in the elevator in his building, pressed against the wall as he kissed her deeply.
"Eric." Carli tried to protest as the door opened and he whisked her out to his door, pushing her inside and slamming her into that wall to kiss her again as he dropped his keys. "Eric, I don't want this." His hands slid over her hard nipples slowly, teasing her as he smiled. Her bra could not even conceal them, and he squeezed tightly as she leaned back and moaned. Her legs trembled and her boy shorts were soaked, and he lifted her and carried her to the couch. He slid her over his lap and kissed her again, and she allowed him to lift her shirt off. He pulled the bra off eagerly afterwards, and she pinched her eyes closed as he pinched her nipples hard and slid his tongue against hers. She could not protest further, and she cried out in relief as he finally bit down on a nipple with his teeth as he drew it into his mouth.
"I knew you wanted me as much as I did you." Eric breathed against her as she arched her back. She ripped at his shirt, and he removed it for her as she slid her nails down his chest. She felt herself lifted again and carried into the bedroom, where she was dropped onto the bed. She looked around slowly, reliving some rough moments as he slid her skirt down and tossed it to the floor. He dropped over her and kissed her again, moving down her body to kiss her neck and breasts before he moved down to her stomach. She slid her hands into his hair as he slid his fingers gently over her damp underwear with a pleased smile. His long fingers slid under them and over her throbbing folds as she bit her lip hard, and he stroked her clit as he stared at her face.
"Oh, god." Carli moaned as she parted her legs eagerly for him so he could freely finger her. She moaned as she felt him inside of her and again stroking her swollen clit and she gripped the sheets.
"There you are." Pam's voice carried into the room, and Carli tried to focus as she felt the impending orgasm coming on.
"You can have the top half. I am busy down here." Eric said, and Carli began to protest but she came against his hand instead as she arched her back. Pam took a nipple into her soft mouth and bit, and Carli cried out loudly at the combination. Her tongue moved expertly over Carli's skin and her teeth teased her just right before Pam kissed her deeply. "Take off your clothes." Carli heard Eric's voice dimly and she felt Pam moving about as their tongues danced wildly. Pam moaned sharply against Carli's lips and Eric went away for a moment as Carli tired to protest. "Sit on her face while I fuck her, Pam. You seem to be good and wet, and very ready."
"What?" Carli moaned, staring up into Pam's pussy as she blinked. It looked delicious and wet and she leaned her face up to lick her eagerly as her friend moaned and moved her hips. She sucked her clit between her teeth and felt Eric move between her legs to do the same.
"You taste so good, lover." Eric said after a few slow and thorough swipes, before he really started tormenting her with his deep sucks and long tongue. She was sweating again when he entered her, and she took a moment to breath. "Make her come, Carli. Lick all of it up as she does." She returned to Pam, grunting as he fucked her deeply and he friend began moving over her tongue. Carli lifted a hand to slide a finger inside of her tight walls and sucked on her clit as Pam cried out and bucked harder. She came with a near scream and Carli felt her dripping onto her lips as she sucked it all in, and that was when Eric delivered his deepest thrust and made me open her mouth to scream his name as she flooded his cock with her orgasm. Pam collapsed next to her and she felt him drop down to kiss her and taste her lips with his darting tongue. "I love you, Carli. Rest up for a moment because we are not through yet."
Eric kissed her body with his roving mouth and she craved him again as he pulled away with a slow smile. "What?"
"I will honor your wishes and not have any further sex with Pam, but you will have to step in." He leaned over to open a drawer and pull out a large dildo to hand to her. "Fuck her with this, Carli. Then she can return the favor as I watch and wait for my second turn."
"Mmmm." Pam murmured as she rolled to her back and parted her legs. "I could care less if it was real or fake."
"But you looked like you have had sex before us." Carli said, staring at her friend as she looked at her with eager eyes.
"Of course we have, but after this began. It is very easy to be turned on these days." Eric told her, as she sat up slowly. "I want you much more." He slipped his hand around to her nipples, and she slid the tip of the dildo into Pam. "Fuck her hard." Eric whispered and she winced as she slid it in deeper. She had done this before and she knew what Pam liked, and something took over in her as she brought her friend to low screams as she writhed on the bed. He kissed her neck and stroked her skin and she brought her fingers to her lips afterwards to taste them. Eric told her to get on her knees and Pam moved behind her as she inserted the toy at Carli's entrance. It stretched her and Carli dropped her head forward as Pam moved it deeper. She soon found herself bucking against it, drawing it deeper until she cried out hoarsely and dropped to the mattress. Eric moved behind her hard and ready, and slid himself inside of her as her orgasm was ending. She moaned and he drove himself deep into her as she felt him lift her. She came weakly and he rested over her as Pam took a deep breath.
"You don't really want to give this up, do you?" Pam asked her, and Carli closed her eyes as the wall of regret hit her at full force. She really did, but she had no idea how to as she felt her lovers bodies around her. Eric kissed her as Pam stroked her hair, and she sighed silently.