Chapter Twenty-One

I awoke the following morning when my doctors arrived for their morning examination. Rob and Emily, who was still virtually silent, had been checking in with me three times a day lately. Grandpa Carlisle sometimes observed, but today he had spent most of the day discussing the future of werewolf/Cullen relations with Jacob, so I hadn't seen much of either of them.

"I still can't understand why the pack lost so many," I remarked as Rob cut through my bandages.

"From what I saw, it seemed that the newborns knew about the wolves, and how to kill them. They were not at all taken off guard as Jasper and I had hoped they would be. In fact, it almost seemed as though they were trying to target them specifically."

"But then why did they seem so disturbed when the wolves showed up?" I pointed out.

He gave a grim smile. "Facing an enemy is never precisely what you expect, regardless of foreknowledge and preparation. Actually, I would wager that fear was part of what made them pursue the wolves so ruthlessly."

"How?"

"I don't know if it's the same for all newborns, but when I was young, I could convert almost any emotion to aggression, which, for someone in my position, was extremely helpful. I imagine it would be even better for destroying an opponent you've only ever heard of."

"We lost our fair share too," Emily murmured.

Rob and I both glanced at her, but neither of us replied. For a moment I was distracted by her appearance. The horrific bruises along her jaw – which William had broken, I had since learned, along with four of her ribs – were a mottled yellow colour now. Her face was an unhealthy chalky colour, and her eyes, deep blue with thirst and unusually dull, sported dark circles. But her terrible appearance was a testament to the truth of her statement. We'd lost Henry, Dahlia, Raj, Ivan, Elizaveta and Julianna. It had also come to light that William had not only found out about Uncle Jasper from Peter and Charlotte, but he'd killed them afterwards to prevent them from telling anyone that he'd been asking questions. I'd not seen Uncle Jasper or Aunt Alice since.

In addition to Emily, Tara, Jacob and I, Rebecca and Embry had also been wounded. Uncle Jasper, Rob, Ajay and even Mom had walked away with fresh bite marks.

"I'm sorry about your friends," I said quietly. "I know you considered them your family."

Pain flickered across Rob's face. He lowered his eyes, and then cleared his throat and returned to work. "My concern is more for Jacob, not for myself. I can only imagine his grief."

I sighed. Jacob's sadness was crippling. After our reconciliation, he'd more or less returned to his state of depression. He kept it hidden as best he could from the pack, but he didn't seem to be able to keep up the façade with me.

"But it could have been worse," he conceded. "We might have lost more, far more." His gaze flicked to Emily briefly.

We had been prepared for the fact that the Taylors would be after our immediate family, and so we'd been better prepared. But it had never even crossed my mind that they would target the wolves. Ever since our return, I'd been trying to convince myself that we hadn't led them to the slaughter.

"Why would they have gone after them anyway?" I asked softly.

"If I were William, it's what I would do."

"But why?" I asked, frowning.

"Well," he said, cleansing my gradually-healing wounds, first with water, and then with rubbing alcohol. I grimaced at its sting. "William's four hundred years old. He knows all about vampires. Werewolves, however, he would have known nothing about, other than the fact that there are plenty of them, they're massive, they protect your family and they're partially mortal. However, without specific numbers, undefined abilities, unknown strength and ability, and no way by which to predict their movements and behaviour, they are an unknown and dangerous variable. Any prudent tactician would dispose of them first. And William was nothing if not a prudent tactician, and a calculating one at that."

I looked at Emily as she turned away from us.

"But William had them playing with the border at La Push. Surely he must have
learned something," I reasoned.

"Something, yes," Rob agreed. "But not enough to make them less dangerous to him. Besides, Jacob and his pack were quite thorough about dispatching the newborns. Unless they were regularly travelling between here and Yellowknife, they couldn't have reported much of what they did discover to him."

"But how would they have known about the venom?"

"That I cannot say. But it's hardly an uncommon myth. Stories about the rivalry between wolves and our kind are as ancient as we are."

"Peter and Charlotte," Emily murmured.

We both glanced at her again.

"What was that, dearest?" Rob asked quietly.

"Peter and Charlotte. Jasper told me that he warned them about the wolves in case things went badly with the Volturi eight years ago. They probably told him before they realized his intentions."

I shuddered as the lifeless faces of Jacob's brothers drifted into my mind. "What's wrong with my arm?" I asked, changing the subject before the thought could take root in my mind. I didn't want to start crying again; I was so tried of crying. "That should have healed ages ago."

Emily answered, but kept her back to us. "As you've experienced, a venomous bite conflicts with your own venom. Because they cannot exist together, the result of this conflict is that both end up destroying the other. You will remain weak for several days, until your venom supply has time to regenerate."

"So you're saying right now that I have no venom in me whatsoever?" I said.

"Yes."

"So…for the next little while, I'm basically human."

"Essentially, yes." She was silent for a moment, and then slowly turned back to face us. "But you will eventually heal, and I daresay that when you do, you will find yourself stronger than before." With that, she turned and drifted from the room.

I watched her go. "How is she?" I asked quietly.

He sighed softly. "She's struggling, but that's more than I've heard her say in the past two days combined. I believe killing her family was more difficult than she anticipated." He began to rebind my arm. "She plans to stay behind with Tara when we leave tomorrow."

I frowned. "Why would she do that?"

"Something about visiting Lillian's grave before she leaves, and showing it to Tara."

I still could not believe that he had killed his own wife. Even more incredible than that, I couldn't believe that his wife had actually survived giving birth to Tara. I could still recall my first memories as plainly and clearly as the day I'd had them. They were of my mother's weak, bloodied face. Her frail, human face. It was the face of a dying woman. And to imagine that Tara's mother had managed to suffer the same ordeal, and survive… That was a kind of strength that I doubted I would ever be able to fully comprehend.

Once Rob had finished, he gathered up his implements. "I'll go check on Rebecca."

I nodded. "Thanks, Rob."

"You're perfectly welcome." He offered me a small smile and then went upstairs.

I followed a few moments later. The emptiness of the house struck me. I'd gotten so used to having extra people around. Only Adair and Austin remained now of our guests.

"Nessie? Is something wrong?" Mom asked, rising quickly as I entered the living room.

I tried not to smile. "No, Mom."

"Are you sure? Does your arm hurt? Do you need some pain medication?" she said.

"I can get some," Dad said, jumping up.

"No, really, it's okay," I assured him.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

He reluctantly sat back down.

I took a seat beside Aunt Alice and sighed quietly. I wondered (fearfully) how long it would be until all of their extra obsessing over my wellbeing would end.

"So has Rob checked in on you yet?" Mom inquired.

I nodded. "Em was with him. She said something about me basically being human for the next few days."

"What?" all three asked at the same time, bearing matching looks of confusion.

"She said that the pure venom and mine burned each other out, and it's left me with none for the moment," I explained.

"How does she know so much about this?" Mom asked.

I heard Aunt Alice snicker quietly, Dad buried his head in his hands and moaned, and I instantly turned bright red.

"Right. I don't think I want to know, then," she said.

"Anyway, she said it'll regenerate within a few days," I said, quickly changing the topic.

Dad's head snapped up. "But for the present, you are completely susceptible to germs, sickness, disease, injury, death…" His eyes widened.

"Oh just stop!" Aunt Alice snapped. "You are so incredibly annoying sometimes! A few days without venom won't kill her! There's no need for you to have a panic attack over everything!"

I looked at her in surprise, as did my parents.

She exhaled. "Sorry."

He nodded his head. "It's all right."

"Alice?" Mom asked, frowning in concern. "What's wrong?"

She sighed heavily. "I've been rather frustrated with my vision lately."

"How?"

She fidgeted. "I hate that I didn't see all of this coming."

"William's plan?" I guessed.

She nodded, bowing her head. "And what he did to Peter and Charlotte. Things might have turned out much differently if I'd just tried harder."

"There was nothing more that you could have done, Alice," Dad said. "I saw his mind. William knew about your gift. He knew about all of our gifts. He also knew how to work around your particular ability. You were over-extending as it was. You can't blame yourself, especially not considering that you wouldn't have been able to see the majority of his plan anyway, since it revolved around half-breeds. As for Peter and Charlotte…" It was his turn to sigh.

Mom shook her head. "How is Jasper?"

"Yeah," I said, frowning in concern. "I haven't seen him."

She pursed her lips unhappily. "He's devastated. They were his first actual friends. They were the ones responsible for showing him a life outside of the newborn army."

"Where is he?" Mom asked softly.

"Hunting with Emmett," she replied. "They both needed to blow off some steam."

The mention of hunting suddenly made me thirsty. I cursed my temporary humanity.

"I can make you something, if you'd like," Dad offered.

"No, I'll get it," I sighed, rising again.

"Make sure you disinfect everything. And check expiration dates."

I rolled my eyes and gave him a pointed look. "Father."

"Right. Sorry."

Cali and Emily were already in the kitchen when I arrived. Emily was sitting beside her at the island in the centre of the room, trying to talk her into eating the plate of eggs set in front of her.

"I don't like eggs. Grandfather never made me eat eggs," she said resolutely. Her accent was a strange combination of French, British and Canadian.

Emily sighed. "Alexandria, please."

I frowned in confusion. "Alexandria?"

Both looked at me. Emily glanced back at the child as she rose. "Please just take three bites. That's all I ask."

"No," the girl retorted.

Emily shot exasperated look heavenward and walked over the fridge. "Do you need something?" she asked me.

"I'm just here for food," I said, following her. "But why are you calling her Alexandria?"

She did not answer immediately. "Rob and I want to give her a fresh start," she said, her voice low as she dug through the fridge. "And we also don't want any of William's old friends to come looking for her."

"But why Alexandria?"

She shrugged slightly. "It's what I would have named my daughter, if I were capable of bearing one."

"Aren't you?" I asked.

She gave a short laugh. "I've been married thirty-eight years, Nessie. Believe you me, if it were going to happen, it would have happened long before now."

"Oh," I said, instantly going crimson. For a moment, we were silent. Finally, I asked, "Are you okay?"

She paused and looked at me. Her face was carefully arranged into a neutral expression. "Yes. Why would I not be?"

"I don't know, maybe because your father was put to death less than a week ago, along with almost all of your siblings."

She looked away quickly, but not before I saw tears gathering in her eyes. She swallowed and turned her back to me. "This is not what I wanted," she said softly. "This is not what I ever wanted." She glanced at Alex. "To have to take charge of my niece because I've killed her indifferent parents, because they were trying to kill the people I love... To have your family put at risk because of your association with me... To kill my sister with my own hands... To become my father's enemy, and then watch him killed.. But then, I didn't ask to be born to a killer, either. I didn't want any of that. But you will find that many things in life happen that you do not want. But wanting what is right...that matters more than getting what you want. So you must deal with what is given to you, and then pick up and move on."

I nodded and studied her for a moment.

She exhaled. "Now, what would you like to eat?" she asked, closing the fridge and exploring the cupboards instead.

"Would you like my eggs?" Alexandria offered.

I looked at her and smiled. "I think you're meant to eat those."

"No I'm not," she retorted.

"Yes you are," Emily said. "And you bloody well know it."

"I won't eat them!" she declared.

Emily closed her eyes and exhaled, massaging her temples.

"You know," I said, walking back over to the island. "I hated food too when I was a kid, but eggs were the only food I really liked. They taste better than you think."

"No they don't. They're gross," she said flatly. "I only like chocolate."

"Me too, but eggs are better for you," I said.

"I don't care. I hate eggs," she said, pushing the plate away. "Can I have chocolate?"

"No," Emily said.

"I'll go to Aunt Tara! She won't make me eat them!"

"You are most welcome to. She will tell you the same thing I have."

"Fine! I'll ask Rob."

"Ask Rob what, Princess?" he said, wandering into the room.

"Do I have to eat this?" she asked, gesturing to the plate.

I winced and shook my head slightly, hoping he would take a hint.

He smiled. "Well of course you don –" he started to say, and then caught the look Emily was shooting him. He cleared his throat. "Uh, I mean, of course, if that's what Em has told you to do."

She scowled and then leapt off the chair and flashed down the hall.

"Let her go," Emily said. 'She'll eat it when she gets hungry enough." She looked at me. "Aren't children fun?"

I merely looked in the direction that Alexandria had stormed off in, finding myself at a loss for words.

I was sitting on one of the leather couches in the den that afternoon, just staring into the fire when I heard footsteps approaching from behind. I caught Jacob's scent the moment he entered the room.

He dropped onto the couch beside me and leaned back with a sigh.

I tore my eyes away from the flames and looked at him. "Hey," I said.

"Hey," he sighed, closing his eyes. I was surprised by how exhausted he looked. I knew he hadn't been sleeping well, but I hadn't thought it was that bad.

I rubbed his shoulder. "Are you okay?" I asked quietly.

"I…I'm…"

"Yeah. Thought so."

He gave a grim smile.

"How's Leah?"

"Pretty broken up."

"And the rest?"

"Not much better." He paused. "The rest of the pack knows by now. I've ordered them not to say a word about it until we get back. I don't want the families to know until I can give them some answers."

I doubted that anything we told them would be adequate. Really, there were no answers to help the families understand what had happened. There was no rhyme or reason for an evil like William's. It defied comprehension, much less explanation.

"So what did you and Grandpa Carlisle discuss?" I asked.

"We've decided to sort of…combine forces. We've agreed that we'll both deal with any future threats to the area. Mi casa, su casa kind of idea. Anyway, we're also going to try to have more interaction."

"Between us and the pack, you mean?" I asked. It would be interesting to see how that would go over, on both sides.

He nodded. "We're going to try to get everyone more comfortable with each other. We also talked about being more…open."

"And I would imagine that that would include not lying about newborn attacks?" I said, giving him a pointed look.

He gave me the lopsided smile that I could never resist.

"Stop it," I ordered, slapping his arm and looking away before he could dazzle me.

He chuckled. "I can't believe that that actually works."

"Oh quit gloating, wolf-man."

"You know you secretly enjoy it."

"Moving on," I said, fighting a smile. "There's something else we need to talk about."

The conversation didn't take long. What had to happen was obvious to us both. But then came the difficult part.

After slipping Tara a twenty to mentally shield Jacob and me (I wanted Dad to find out at the same time as everyone else), we rallied the whole family and the pack to the living room.

I watched as everyone took their seats, exchanging glances and murmuring to each other, looking at us curiously.

"Ready?" Jacob whispered in my ear, squeezing my hand.

"As I'm ever going to be," I replied. Once everyone was settled, I began. "So, Jacob and I have been toying with an idea for a while now. We have discussed it at length, and we think that this would be the best time, given the circumstances and everything that's happened. Jacob has more responsibilities in La Push now, and things are going to be even crazier for the next year or so. So, we've decided to move back."

The first thing that I saw was the horror that flashed across my parents' faces. "What?" they said at exactly the same time.

"Yes!" Quil and Embry said, beaming.

"You can't be serious!" Dad exclaimed.

I had guessed that they would be the hardest to reason with. "Look, we're adults now. We've been married for a year, and having us at home drives you insane anyway, Dad."

"That doesn't mean I want you to leave!"

"We need to do this. You knew this was going to happen eventually. It'll be hard for me too, but this is the twenty-first century. It's not like you'll never see me again. You can call all the time," I said. I paused and reconsidered that statement. "Well, not all the time," I qualified, because knowing my father, he would call all the time if I left that possibility open to him.

"Besides, La Push isn't far," Jacob added. "We can visit."

"When will you go?" Grandpa Carlisle asked softly, his expression pained.

"As soon as we can get our things together and make arrangements in La Push," Jacob said.

"You can live with me!" Quil said.

"No! I call dibs!" Embry said, pushing him.

"You can't call dibs! I called it first!"

"Dibs trumps first-call!"

"Yeah? On what planet?"

"What makes you think they'd want to live with either of you?" Jared said. "Clearly I'm the better choice here."

Jacob and I exchanged glances. "Well, uh sorry to burst some bubbles, but we'll probably stay with Billy," he said.

"What about your sister?" Grandma Esme asked. "Paul mentioned that she was expecting."

He sighed unhappily. "I'll see if she'll move in, too. I don't want her to be on her own."

"Would you at least let us build you a bigger house?" Aunt Alice said. "It was rather squishy the last time we were there."

Jacob chuckled. "Good luck getting that one past Billy."

She gave him a pouty look.

"But now who am I going to beat into a pulp?" Uncle Emmett whined.

Oh dear. Here we go, I thought. My uncle and Jacob were like

But Jacob merely sighed and shook his head.

"I'm up for it," Ian said immediately.

"Ian." Rob gave him a warning look.

"What?" he asked innocently, looking at his brother. "Someone needs to keep him humble."

"Right," Jacob continued. "Now, when we get back, the Quinault have graciously offered to pay for the funeral. I know that at the least the chief and his council will be attending, but they'll probably bring their families, too, and who knows who else might show up. So the dog jokes have to stop," he said.

Uncle Emmett, Aunt Rose and Ian all looked acutely disappointed.

"We don't know how much they know yet," I added. "Chief Redwood clearly does, but we don't know about the rest of them. And if they don't, what they don't know won't hurt them, so we want to keep it that way."

"No vampire jokes, either," Jacob said, looking at the pack.

"What?" Embry exclaimed. "You can't be serious! They obviously already know about leeches. They came hammering on your front door, didn't they? What kind of a chief would deprive of us of our leech jokes?"

"This one," Jacob retorted simply.

"So you plan to stay in La Push after the funeral?" Dad said.

"That's the plan," I said, nodding.

Mom's lips trembled. She bowed her head.

I swallowed, guilt sweeping over me. "I'm sorry," I said quietly. "I wish this could be easier, but we have to do this. You understand, don't you?"

She nodded but said nothing.

Dad wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "We understand, Nessie. You have our blessing."

I gave a sad smile and walked over to hug him. He held me tightly and kissed my cheek. After a few moments, he let me go.

"Thank you," I said. I looked at Mom next.

I sighed and hugged her next. "It'll be okay, Mom."

She nodded and exhaled. "I know. But it's so not helping right now."

I smiled. "Hey," I said, drawing back. "Let's save all the messy stuff for when we actually go."

She nodded again. "Sounds good. It'll give me some time to work up to it."

I chuckled.

"Emily?" I heard Alexandria whisper. "Can I have her room?"