Disclaimer: The Twilight Saga and all respective characters, names and related details are the property of Stephenie Meyer, Little Brown publishers and Summit Entertainment. The rest of it is all the works of my own literary genius.
Warning: Oops, we're all out of lemonade! Maybe next time!
Approx: 10 Pages/ 4,223 Words
CHAPTER 21: I CRIED
Edward wrapped a towel quickly around his waist before swathing me in another.
Having just worked over every magnificent inch of his body, I was fascinated by the fact that the sight of him bare-chested in nothing but a towel was still an incredible turn on. He wandered out of the bathroom, leaving me to tend to my soggy hair.
As I dried, dressed, and struggled with my hair, music wafted into the bathroom. I raked the comb through my tangles and got my hair dry enough that it wouldn't thoroughly soak through my shirt.
I followed the haunting, eerie tune towards the back of the house, farther in than I had ventured the last time. Past the bedrooms was a large, open room with a grand piano. Edward had slipped into gray slacks, his muscled back and torso still pleasantly exposed. He leaned over the piano, nimble fingers moving quickly and effortlessly over the keys.
I was surprised when he began to sing. He was not a polished singer – it was evident that he had no formal training. However, what he lacked in technique he more than made up for with raw emotion. His velvet voice took on a rugged bluesy quality that coaxed my soul from my body and carried it away from me on waves of tortured anguish. The song had an ethereal quality that was sad and mesmerizing.
I leaned against the open doorway, hanging on his every word.
"The sunlight is fading
The shadows begin
Twilight is upon you
The chill is creeping in.
"Don't shiver, for you're not alone
Just take my hand, hold it tight.
I'm in this with you, all the way
I'll guide you into the night.
"Embrace the twilight, my sweet friend.
You don't have to be afraid
I'll cherish you forever
and the memories we've made.
You've fought long and hard, my dear,
Let your weary struggle cease.
Venture into that dark unknown
The land of eternal peace.
"We've made it through the twilight
The midnight sun draws near.
I pray for you safe journeys
There is nothing left to fear
"It's time for you to take the high road
I'll miss you when you're gone.
But I'll watch from below and you'll watch from above
and we'll meet each day at the breaking dawn."
The music carried on for another sixteen counts before ending on a sorrowful, unresolved note. Edward sat back farther on the piano bench, placing his elbows on his knees. He dropped his head into his hands, his fingers only partially clawing at his hair. I wiped at the one orphaned tear that trailed over my cheek and quietly walked over, needing to comfort him. He sat up when he heard me coming, a shadow of the broken man lingering on his face.
I straddled the bench so that I was facing him and circled my arms around his waist, my hands settling on his warm, smooth flesh. He wrapped an arm around me and leaned his cheek against my hair, sighing despondently.
"Is this your piano?" My fingertips grazed the ivory keys.
"No, this is Renee's."
"She plays too?"
"Oh, I didn't tell you? She's a piano teacher. Renee's the one who taught me how to play."
"Was that for Bree?" I whispered against his chest.
I could feel him nod against my hair. "We like to pretend that she's going to wake up and things are going to go back to the way that they used to be. But we all know…that's never going to happen. It's never going to be okay. I was just trying to find a way to let her know it's alright if she's tired. We'll understand if she needs to let go, you know?"
I nodded my head. "It was beautiful, Edward. I'm sure it would mean the world to her."
I allowed the silence to linger on for a moment. "I thought you said you hadn't played in years."
He shrugged. "I hadn't. I'd lost my inspiration to play a long time ago."
I pulled back so that I could look into his face. "What changed?"
"You." His thumb caressed my bottom lip. "That night when my car broke down. There was suddenly so much I wanted to express - it was too overwhelming for words. The next time I got home, I started fiddling around with the piano again, trying to pour what I couldn't say into notes and chords, but it just came out as a jumbled mess. I realized I couldn't express everything at once, so I tried to focus on one thing at a time – like finding a way to say goodbye to Bree."
"Why didn't you ever tell me you wrote?"
He shrugged. "Because I never have. That was the first time I've tried to develop lyrics for one of my compositions."
I thought of the complex prose that accompanied his haunting melody. He was a natural. "You're incredible, you know that?"
He smirked. "Well, I'm glad you think so because the feeling is mutual." His stomach rumbled audibly. He laughed, brightening the mood. "Well, woman, you've yet to deliver on the breakfast you've promised me. It appears that my stomach is becoming quite disgruntled."
He telephoned Renee while I set about making us brunch. They spoke for a second before Edward handed his phone to me. I looked at him quizzically and he shrugged his shoulders. "She asked to speak to you. I'm going to pour some orange juice, do you want some?"
I nodded as I took the phone and balanced it between my ear and my shoulder. "Hey Renee! What's up?"
"Hi Bella. What are you making for breakfast?"
I laughed. "Well, it was getting kind of late so I settled on brunch instead. I'm making us egg, ham and cheese sandwiches with hash browns. Want me to bring some back to you?"
"Actually, the nurses have already told me that Bree will be having dialysis once the testing is done, so there won't really be a need for us all to be here. That's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about."
Renee had suggested that Edward take the opportunity to go somewhere different. As always, Edward had insisted on remaining close to the hospital.
"Bella, he's too young to be wasting his life away here. Bree wouldn't want that. Please, talk him into doing something with you. Take him far away from here; get his mind off things for a while."
"But, what if you need us, Renee?"
"I'll call Edward the moment anything changes. You all can be back here in no time. He's gonna put up a fight, but this will be good for him. Heck, it will be good for both of you. You're the only one who will be able to convince him." She coaxed.
I promised I would see what I could do.
Edward and I chatted while we ate, trying to figure out what we would like to do. He admitted that he was getting tired of spending all our time between the Tanner house, the hospital and the bar, but insisted that there was plenty for us to do around town.
"What if we bump into someone you know? You don't think they'll find it strange to see you with me while Bree's in the hospital?" My rationale worked.
"How would you like to meet my friends?" I offered as I bit into my sandwich.
"You mean, the band? I've sort of already met them, remember?"
I shook my head. "No, some mystery guy asked my band mates for their autographs, but my boyfriend has never had the chance to spend time with my friends." He smirked. "Oh! And we can show them the lyrics we wrote for Rosie and Emmet's song!" I bounced up and down in my chair. "Oh, please Edward! You have no idea how important this is to me! Please? Please? Please? "
He broke out into the crooked smile that always did me in. "Well, you might as well give them a call and let them know we're coming over."
I raced around the table and plopped unceremoniously into his lap, peppering his face with kisses, eliciting an even broader, more dazzling smile.
Felix was off doing something boring with Demetri, so he wouldn't be able to come, but the rest of the gang was all anxious to really get to know Edward. I convinced everyone to meet us at the Hale's house just after noon.
Edward offered to take his Volvo so that we would make decent time on the road. I ignored the jab at my faithful old truck because, let's face it, she was slow and just because she'd been good to me didn't mean I needed to push her anymore than I had to.
I laughed when we drove past the small shoulder that we had broken down on recently.
"What's so funny?"
"We've just passed our breakdown point. Congratulations, we've officially beaten the curse!" I giggled.
He blessed himself dramatically. "Let's not celebrate until we're parked safe and sound at your friend's house, okay? I don't want to tempt fate."
As we rounded the familiar curves near Jasper and Rosalie's home, I became nervous. Things had gone so smoothly with Edward and Renee that I had never considered the possibility that they might not go so well with my friends.
What if he didn't like them? What if Rosie tested him in some attempt to scare him off before he could hurt me? What if Al came on too strong, asking how many children he wanted? What if Emmet said something wholly inappropriate to embarrass me? What if Jazz…
I stopped myself there. Jazz was the one person I didn't have to worry about.
God bless you, Jasper Whitlock Hale!
"Bella, are you okay? You look like you're about to be sick."
I pulled down the passenger side vanity mirror. Sure enough, I was pale and a slight sheen of sweat had collected on my brow. I tried to laugh it off. "Just a little nervous, I guess."
His mouth dropped open. "Well, that's reassuring! You're really that worried I'm gonna screw this up?"
I stared at him, mimicking his incredulous expression. "Not you! Them!" I stabbed a finger towards the home that we had come to park in front of. "I've only brought a guy home once before and, well, you know how that turned out. I'm hoping to God they don't do something to scare you off."
Edward laughed cynically. "Let me get this straight: you're bringing your married boyfriend home – the one with the terminally ill wife on dialysis right now – and you're worried they're going to say something to upset me?" I nodded, pouting. He gently took my hand, brushing his soft lips against my knuckles. "I'm not going anywhere, Bella."
I cocked a little grin. "Well then, what are we waiting for?"
They were expecting us, so I didn't bother to pause to knock. As I shut the front door behind us, he looked around the foyer appreciatively. Having heard the door shut, Ali raced around the corner, skidding to a stop as she came to stand in front of us. "Hi Edward!" She hurried past me to hug Edward like he was her long lost cousin. I dropped my head and took a deep, calming breath.
"Down Alice! Down girl!" I pried the Chihuahua off my boyfriend, looking apologetically over her shoulder. "Sorry, Edward. We try to keep her drugged so she doesn't get so excitable."
Jasper calmly turned the corner into the foyer, adding "Oopsy. Is it time to up her meds again?" He looped an arm around her, kissing her briefly on the temple before extending his hand out to Edward. "Nice to see you again, Edward. We've been looking forward to getting to know you better."
Edward clasped Jazz's hand firmly, warmth oozing from his smile. "Hi Jasper. Your home is amazing; I'm glad Bella brought me here."
Jazz shrugged. "Thanks, but I can't take any of the credit for that."
Alice giggled mischievously. "Yeah, he's just a spoiled rotten rich kid, isn't that right sweetie?"
The left side of Jasper's mouth lifted up into a flirtatious little grin. "And you're just my spoiled rotten little girlfriend, aren't you darlin'?"
Edward watched them with a sparkle in his eyes. I grabbed his hand to get his attention. "Get used to it - they're like this all the time."
He pulled me into an embrace. "I kind of like it. Maybe someday, we can be like that too." He said it quietly enough that he didn't even disturb Jazz and Ali's little bubble-o-mushiness.
My heart thumped.
Dear God, I want that. I want to be a stomach-flipping, hurl-inducing, skin-crawling, lovey-dovey couple!
Jazz interrupted my thoughts. "Alice and I were just about to grab some snacks and head down to the studio to meet up with Em and Rosalie. Wanna help us carry everything?"
Edward released me to follow Jasper. "Lead the way."
Alice hooked her arm around mine, squeezing my hand giddily. "I like him, Bella!"
"I appreciate that, Al, but could you maybe ease up just a little bit?" I rolled my eyes. "It would be kind of great if you all didn't send him running for the hills."
She clucked her tongue at me. "Don't worry about it, Bella. He's going to fit in just fine here. I can feel it." With one more squeeze of my hand, she hurried off to catch up with the guys in the kitchen.
A few minutes later, we wandered down into the basement, our arms loaded with goodies as if we were hunkering down for Armageddon.
"Slim Jims!" Emmet tore one out of the arm full of snacks Edward was carrying, not even attempting to help unburden his load. We laid the treats along the small table, everyone swooping in to get their favorites.
"So, Edward…" Emmet started, "Slim Jim or Twinkie?" He held them out as if offering, holding them suggestively near his crotch. His eyes sparkled as his dimpled grin dared Edward to make the right choice.
"Rose, can you please control your boyfriend?" I whined.
She rolled her eyes at me. "Bella, you already know the answer to that, don't you?"
This was the most juvenile of Emmet's supposed "Freudian Tests". The choices were phallic symbols. Choose one and Edward would be tagged as long, thin and limp. Choose the other and he would be labeled as short, fat and soft for life. Worst of all, there was no right answer. Jasper still hadn't lived down choosing the beef jerky when Emmet started this little game two years ago.
Edward looked confused for a second before something dawned in his eyes. He narrowed his gaze at the big guy with the snack foods, tightening his lips in concentration. You could physically see the change when he thought of his answer.
"Well, actually Emmet, I was hoping for a nice, hot foot long, but then I noticed you didn't have one of those." He cocked his head to the side, looking at Emmet as if he were a disfigured puppy.
"Oh, BURN!" Rosalie shouted in triumph.
Emmet's broad smile wasn't phased in the least. He held the snack foods in one hand, offering the other in defeat. "Good one, man. Welcome to the club." As they shook hands, I beamed at Edward's brilliance and quick wit. Rosalie was still the most guarded with him, but besting her boyfriend at his own game had definitely earned him some brownie points in her book.
We chatted and joked idly and my heart swelled within my chest. He fits as neatly into my world as I do into his. Another puzzle piece snapped into place.
"So, guess what?" I interrupted when I simply couldn't wait anymore.
"Chicken butt!" Emmet burst. Rosalie smacked him upside the head before I had their undivided attention.
"Edward happens to be a classically trained pianist and a brilliant songwriter." I gushed.
Edward's face darkened. "Bella…" he started to protest.
"Inexperienced? Yes. But brilliant just the same, Edward." I gave him an insistent look and he shook his head, drawing into the couch with humility. "Anyway, I think we have the lyrics to the song you wrote." Ali's face lit up and I stopped her before she could ask. "It's not a love song, but it's definitely different from our other stuff."
I shuffled through my purse, pulling out the lyrics that we had scribbled the night before. They listened intently as I sang a cappella, obviously moved by the words.
"I like it." Emmet said.
"It's perfect!" Ali was ever the optimist.
"Do you mind if I take a look at it?" Ro held her hand out to me expectantly. Jazz read over her shoulder, an identical expression on their sibling faces as they scrutinized the words.
Edward seemed nervous.
"I'd like to make a couple of small changes. A word here or a different phrasing in some cases, but I definitely think it will work." Jazz mused.
Edward exhaled with relief.
We spent the rest of the afternoon fine tuning the song. Everyone praised Edward, thanking him for his contribution. He remained humble, declining the praise and insisting that it was all my doing. However, credit went to him for naming the song. He called it "A Fighting Chance".
The afternoon was a success - a thoroughly pleasant reprieve from what was quickly becoming a daily routine for Edward and me. With the exception of Rosalie, everyone adored him and couldn't be happier for me. Although Ro had no objections to the man that was Edward Cullen, seeing us together had only deepened her concern about my being with him.
She had pulled me aside once while the guys entertained a heated debate over the magic of Elvis versus the genius of the Beatles.
"You still don't like him, do you Rosie?" My shoulders slumped dejectedly.
"He's wonderful, Bella. There isn't one thing for me to dislike."
"Then what's the problem." I flustered.
"The problem is that nothing has changed. He is still a married man, caught up in insurance fraud to try to save a girl who will most definitely die in the near future. The problem is that you are unnecessarily complicating your life to be with him when you could have any man you wanted. And the problem is that you are facing potential heartache for a man that you can't even be sure is worth it." She spoke in hushed tones so that her voice wouldn't carry to the other side of the room, but her whispers were intense just the same.
"That's where you're wrong, Ro. I know he's worth it. We haven't known each other long, I admit that, but there's something about him. I can't explain it. He's amazing. He's passionate and smart and kind and caring and sensitive and strong and…he's just…he's just everything Rosalie. Can't you understand that? If you were me and Edward was Emmet, would you have just been able to turn your back on him because it was more convenient?"
She swallowed and I thought I had won.
It was quite the opposite. "I was wrong. The problem is worse than I thought because you have changed. How long did it take you to fall in love with James? Six months? You've known Edward for a month, Bella, and suddenly he's everything? You don't believe in love at first sight, remember? You believe that true, long-lasting love develops over time. Isn't that what you always told me? And yet, here you are rearranging your life, orbiting around him and his wants and needs. You're falling, too, and you're going to get hurt. Like I said, I'll be there to pick up the pieces when you do…I'm just afraid there won't be much to put back together."
"You don't know him, Rosalie." I tried to sound scathing, but there was too much hurt in my voice.
"I know. The question is, do I know you?" I could see it very plainly on her face that she did not intend to hurt me. She was wholeheartedly worried for my well being and was sincerely attempting to be the voice of reason and logic.
But I didn't want reason and logic. I wanted the support of my friend in a world where everything else was hard enough as it was.
Her lecture planted a seed of doubt on the long ride back to the hospital.
Had it really only been a month since Edward walked into that bar? I tried to do the math in my head.
Shit! This time last week Rosalie was doing just what she said - picking up the pieces when Edward left me crying and broken, believing that I was garbage for sleeping with a married man.
How could that be?
In a month, Edward really had turned my world around. I jumped from one night stands to a committed relationship. I forewent sexual pleasure for emotional bonds. My spare time revolved around thinking about him, talking to him or being with him. I was losing myself in him.
In one month, he was already talking about making love to me.
You can't fall in love in a month? A week?
I had made love to someone just four months ago – to the same man who had impregnated another woman.
What do I know about love?
My head was swimming. Rosalie's comments aside, the day had been beautiful and pleasant. I worked on not letting her disparaging comments drag me down.
We made it back to the hospital with an hour left to spare before I had to head out to meet everyone at the bar.
I managed to veil my stormy thoughts until we got to Bree's room. That was when all hell broke loose.
As we stepped off the elevator, we could see Renee standing just outside the doorway, panic stricken in the arms of a tall, thin man with a receding hairline. Nurses hurried in and out, spewing medical jargon or carrying different medical supplies and equipment. Edward and I ran down the hallway towards them.
"What the hell's going on, Renee?"
He tried to push past them into the room, but the tall man put an arm out to block him. "Stay out of the way, Edward. Let them do what they have to do."
"Phil, what's happening? Why didn't anyone call me?"
Renee's husband replied despondently. "Don't you think we tried, Edward? We couldn't reach you."
Edward patted his pockets frantically, yanking his phone out and flipping it open. "Shit! I forgot to charge it."
Phil continued solemnly. "Renee called me when the doctor's found something on Bree's tests this morning. I got here as soon as I could. The tests showed that the cancer has now metastasized in her lungs via the blood stream. That's all we know for now. Bree started crashing again while we were talking to the doctor."
Edward began hyperventilating. I reached out to grab his hand, to comfort him. He surprised me when he yanked his hand away from me, as if my touch scorched his skin.
"You see this, Bella! This is important! Not playing rock band with your friends." He jabbed his fist toward the ground. "I should have been here! I should have been worrying about something that matters instead being an hour away worrying about impressing your fucking friends! I can't believe I listened to you!"
The walls came crumbling down around me. Some part of me knew that he didn't mean it. Some tiny little voice told me how very, very sorry he would be when this anger and frustration and fear faded away. However, that did little to comfort the bigger part of me that was fighting back a fresh wave of tears. That tiny part was overwhelmed by the bigger, gaping wounds that James had left behind. Edward had just ripped through that scar tissue, squeezing the hurt and pain right back to the surface.
Renee's eyes went wide at Edward's words. She looked at me, her mouth a perfect "Oh" as she waited to think of the right thing to say to comfort me.
I shook my head.
I couldn't take her sympathy or comfort right now. Not when her daughter was dying only a few feet away from us. Not while the man who was practically her son fell apart within arms reach. She needed to be strong for them right now; not me. No matter how much I felt like I belonged with this family, I was a stranger. An outsider.
And that's exactly where I need to be.
Outside.
Now.
"I'm so, so sorry Renee. Call me if there is anything I can do."
I took one last fleeting, longing glance at the fuming man beside me before hurrying down the hallway and out into the crisp autumn air.
I fumbled with my keys, barely able to see through the unshed tears pooling in my eyes. I finally stabbed my key into the lock and turned, tearing the door open and flinging myself inside the cab.
The tears flowed easily then.
I cried.
A/N: Awwwww, Bella's sad. Throw some reviews her way to cheer her up!
In the meantime, the hideout isn't as glorious as I imagined, but at least I have an address to ship the lemons to!