AN: I`m making a conscious effort to update more. I`ve been thinking a lot about the story and I think I have all the ending worked out. Now just to write it all, and try and find time! :D
Thanks to Shining Dreamer, uchiha hinata21, sugardash, IWishIWasaCheesecake, happysure115, AnnandRachie, P, and The Dark Crimson Blood. It`s a pleasure to get reviews from my lovely regulars and from the lovely new readers too. :D Gives me real motivation to hear your feedback. And I know, I`m so awful to poor Naruto. This fanfic is a complete angstfest. ;)
Cloud Cover
Chapter 20: Reality is Overrated
"We are addicted to our thoughts. We cannot change anything if we cannot change our thinking."
~Santosh Kalwar
"Kill them! Kill them!" yelled Sakura frantically.
"Dammit, Ino. Stop shooting the civilians!" shouted Kiba. "You`re only supposed to hit the spiders! You`re losing us points."
Kiba and Ino stood holding large black plastic rifles, their eyes glued to the big game screen in front of them. Shino and Neji lounged against the games machine next to them, calmly watching the progress while Sakura screamed panicked instructions. Hinata was watching too, her hands over her mouth as she silently watched the giant spiders flying towards the screen only to be splattered by the laser target gunshots. The arcade around them was buzzing with adolescents happily forking out their allowances on the flashing video games.
"I can`t help it, Inazaka. Those stupid people keep running right in the way of my gun." replied Ino calmly as she not-quite-so-accidentally blasted a civilian with a well-aimed headshot.
"Fuck, Ino." Said Kiba in irritation. "Now you got a game over which means I`ll die soon."
"Relax, we can try it again later. Besides I wanted to play Dance Dance revolution next anyway."
"Awesome, I`ll do that one with you." chipped in Sakura.
Kiba groaned, but didn`t reply as he desperately tried to survive against the onslaught of spiders now all running towards his on-screen character.
He lasted a decent five minutes before being overrun. His character died with a grueling scream.
"Shit!" he yelled, shoving the gun back into the plastic holster angrily.
"Wow, you`re really shit at this game." said a voice from behind him. Kiba spun round angrily but simply opened his mouth in surprise when he saw who it was.
"Naruto, what`re you doing here?" asked Neji, standing up from his half-sitting position.
The blonde teen stood grinning in front of the group, his hands sunk casually into the pockets of his dark blue jeans.
"I finished work and went home, but I got so bored. I changed my mind and figured I`d come out after all." He smiled calmly at Neji, although there was something in the smile that Neji couldn`t quite place. It was different from usual, like it didn`t quite reach his eyes.
"What`re you doing here, Neji?" interrupted Naruto. "I thought you`d be too busy with newspaper stuff and business."
Neji shrugged. "Even I take a break now and then."
"Thank the heavens you`re here, Uzumaki!" exclaimed Kiba dramatically. "Not a single person here can shoot to save a starving baby. Step up to the plate and show me you got what it takes."
He reached into his pocket for coins, but turned up empty.
"Shit, this is your fault Ino. You wasted all my coins with your sadistic killing spree."
"Don`t worry. I`ve got this." Said Naruto cheerfully. He opened his wallet which was brimming with coins and clinked a few into the slot. "I`m loaded now thanks to my job. In fact," He turned to face the girls and gave them a 20 dollar note. "Here, take this and grab some more coins for everyone. Today is my treat."
"Awesome!" yelled Ino.
"Wow, really? Thanks, Naruto." Said Sakura.
"No worries." Said Naruto with a grin as he picked up the plastic rifle from the holster and watched the intro to the video game.
"What`s the occasion?" enquired Neji.
Naruto`s eyes were already glued to the video screen. "Eh? Nothing special." He said distractedly. "I`m just in a good mood. Besides you guys were right. I haven`t been out in ages and I need to take a break."
Naruto wasn`t just in a good mood. He felt euphoric. He would burst into song if he didn`t feel so incredibly calm. It was like a peaceful sort of bliss, relaxed and happy.
Ever since taking that pill he was in an amazing state of happiness. Even Orochimaru`s usual actions hadn`t broken the feelings. In fact, during this state, he wondered why it had ever bothered him so much. Why had he made such a big deal about it all? Why had he let it all get to him? It had been a lot less painful because he`d been relaxed and now when he recalled it and all the other times, it was only with a vague sort of objective interest, like it had happened to someone else, or rather, that it simply wasn`t important. It didn`t matter. All that mattered was that he was happy right here right now.
He barely registered the vague storyline of the game as he watched the flashing colors on the screen. His brain seemed to register the movements in slow motion and yet at full speed. It was odd but it felt good. He raised the gun and began to shoot as he and Kiba progressed through the game.
"Oi, Naruto, get the stuff on your side of the screen. I can`t kill everything myself." muttered Kiba after a few minutes into the game. "Are you even hitting anything?"
"Oh, yeah." Said Naruto calmly, shooting at mini spiders as they crawled towards his character. For some reason, the spiders kept moving too fast. He couldn`t aim at them too well.
"Uhoh," said Kiba. "Big boss time."
The game cut into a story scene and a giant tarantula burst out of the ground, towering over their characters. The lightning flashes of a storm lit up the screen. It was mesmerizing.
"Naruto, aren`t you going to shoot anything? You`re dying." Said Neji.
Naruto blinked. Somehow it was like his brain had caught up with real time and he suddenly realized the story arc was already over and the tarantula was attacking both his and Kiba`s characters. But that lightning was so hypnotizing.
"So cool." said Naruto vaguely.
Neji raised a brow.
"Fucking shoot it, Uzumaki! I`m out of ammo and it`s killing us!" yelled Kiba.
Naruto shook his head briefly and raised his gun, shooting the spider, but it was too little too late. It was game over after one particularly brutal bite from the giant tarantula as it lunged at them."
Kiba sighed and put the gun down. "Defeated on the second level. Well, we got further than I did with Ino."
Sakura, who had returned with Ino earlier, sputtered into the drink she was holding.
"That`s not what I meant!" said Kiba, turning red as he realized the double entendre.
Naruto grinned. "Suuure."
"Pff! Don`t know what you`re grinning about. Your playing was weak, man." Said Kiba sticking his tongue out at his friend. "We`ve played on my Xbox before. You had faster reactions than that."
Normally, Naruto would have defended himself, but he just couldn`t bring himself to care right now. The game didn`t matter. Just being here with his friends and being happy was what mattered. He continued to grin.
"Give him a break, Kiba." said Sakura. "It`s his first time playing."
"All right, enough of shoot-em-ups. Let`s play Dance Dance Revolution next!" said Ino.
"Oh come on, no, I hate that game." whined Kiba.
"That`s cos you`re a crappy dancer." replied Ino smoothly.
"W-what`s Dance Dance Revolution?" asked Hinata.
Ino and Sakura stared at her in amazement. "You don`t know?!"
Hinata tapped her fingers together nervously. "This is my first time in an arcade."
She squeaked in surprise as Ino slung an arm around her. "Then, you are in for an education, Miss Hyuuga."
The group spent a good few hours at the arcade with Naruto happily handing out his hard-earned cash for the play. They stopped off in the food court, talking about the night and making fun of each other about the games. Kiba really had been embarrassingly bad at Dance Dance Revolution. Dancing was obviously not his forte. Whereas after a couple of turns, Hinata had turned out to be surprisingly good. She had a natural grace which translated into excellent dancing. Even more surprisingly, Neji was excellent at it too, which brought on some jealous teasing from Kiba. ("What`re you a girl? How often do you practice, man?") Naruto on the other hand, found the arrows too fast, he gave up pretty soon and just watched. Shino showed off his talent at Guitar Hero, playing some of the most complicated songs while coolly managing to make it look like a walk in the park. Ino and Sakura raced each other competitively on Gran Turismo, playing again and again, one winning, then the other so that it eventually ended up as a draw. It didn`t stop them flinging insults at each other over their bad driving.
It was…possibly the best night of Naruto`s life even though he didn`t do all too well on the games. He kept getting distracted by the flashing screen and forgetting to play, but he watched and simply enjoyed being there. Instead of having dark thoughts and bitter memories invading his every waking moment, his mind was like a simple cloud, like a blanket had been wrapped around everything even slightly negative and pushed aside. He knew they were there, it`s just that those thoughts couldn`t touch him.
"Well, I`d better head back home. I`ve got a lot to work on tomorrow." said Neji finally .
Kiba stretched. "Yeah, man, I guess you`re right. It`s getting late and school awaits."
"Aw, it`s a shame we can`t all hang out more." said Sakura as they all made their way out of the mall. "This was fun."
"Well," replied Ino. "I heard Shikamaru`s sister is having a party next week. We should go."
"Oooh! A party! I`m so there." squealed Sakura.
"Sounds good to me." agreed Naruto. "I love parties." This was probably true considering he`d only ever been to Choji`s one after the football match, and that had been fun.
"It`s decided!" said Ino happily.
Ino , Sakura, Shino and Kiba peeled off, heading to their respective homes. They all lived in the same area, having grown up together.
Only Neji, Hinata and Naruto were left to walk in a different direction.
At first they just talked about the night`s events until silence fell between them. They walked down the dark streets, three figures passing under the fluorescent lights of the lamp posts.
Finally, Neji broke the silence. "You ok, Naruto? You`ve seemed kinda stressed lately."
Naruto sighed and put his hands behind his head as he walked. "Yeah, I guess I have been. I`ve had a lot going on, but things are ok now."
He turned to look at Neji with that odd grin. "I feel on top of the world."
Neji just nodded. "How come?"
"I dunno." Said Naruto. "I guess I just realized, life is good. I`ve got friends, food, a roof over my head and lots of money." He jingled the change in his pocket gleefully. "Lately, I`ve only ever been feeling sorry for myself and seeing all the bad stuff, but, I realized that feeling sorry for myself isn`t going to do jack shit, and actually I have a lot to be happy about."
"Well, that`s good." Replied Neji, then hesitated for a moment. "I was just a bit…I dunno. You seemed kind of out of it tonight."
"Out of it?" repeated Naruto.
"Yeah, like, a bit spacey." Said Neji.
"Oh, yeah," Naruto searched quickly for a reason. He hadn`t realized he`d seemed zoned out. He`d have to be more careful. "I guess that`s cos I`m tired. I get up really early for work and it kinda stops my brain from functioning properly if you know what I mean."
"I suppose so." Said Neji.
Naruto was guessing the genius Hyuuga didn`t. "Then again, I`m guessing you don`t get that kind of thing. You always seem sharp. But hey, you know me, not the brightest spark."
He grinned and tapped his head. Neji smirked. "You are a knucklehead, but you`re smarter than you let on."
Naruto scratched his head in embarrassment. "Haha, you think so? Thanks."
"Anyway, we gotta head off this way." Said Neji, motioning to a nearby street that stretched off in the opposite direction to Naruto`s apartment. "Will you be all right walking home alone?"
Naruto laughed. If Neji only knew that he walked to drug addicts houses alone all the time. This was nothing. "Of course. I`m not a girl and it`s not that late."
"All right. See you tomorrow, Uzumaki." Said Neji, walking away with Hinata.
"G-goodbye, Naruto." She said quickly before turning shyly away.
Naruto shoved his hands in his pockets and set his mouth grimly. He realised he`d have to be careful of Neji`s perceptiveness and be more aware of his actions.
Had he really been spaced out? If the drug was making him less sharp, he`d have to act to stay aware. Maybe it was something he`d get used to.
Naruto felt a pang in his gut. He put his hand on his stomach. What was that? He looked up and realized he was just standing alone on the dark street. He`d better get home. The city at night gave him the creeps. Still, it wasn`t like anything on the street could be worse than what he dealt with at school…with him. Naruto shivered as he thought about the man. The thoughts about that afternoon started swirling around in his head, and suddenly Naruto was aware that the blanket that had covered those thoughts was becoming a thin veil and gradually those feelings were returning in full force, no, even more strongly. Naruto walked quickly home. He felt sick. Every second of that afternoon jumped fresh into his head as he relived it and saw it as if for the first time. It was like waking up after being drunk. All that had been foggy, he started remembering in a whole new light. Orochimaru had drugged him and forced himself on him, and Naruto had just lain there like a doll.
Oh shit. And he had made noises…of pleasure. Orochimaru had been whispering sick things into his ear the entire time.
Naruto stopped for a moment, leaning against the brick wall of building on the side of the street. Fuck, he`d…he`d acted like he`d been enjoying himself. The teen felt the nausea build in his stomach suddenly and he doubled over, throwing up on the sidewalk. How could he have enjoyed it? It made him feel more disgusted with himself than he ever had in his life.
Ugh, he needed to get rid of these feelings right now. Where was the blanket on his mind? The animal in his stomach began to grow, and he felt it beginning to claw at his insides, stronger than the last time. His stomach seemed to twist in pain and the hunger and thirst returned, making him feel like a dying man. Naruto broke into a run. He had to get home. He had to get some…something.
When he reached apartment block, he didn`t take the elevator, opting for the stairs and running up them as fast as he could. He dashed down the hallway. He saw a flash of red (Gaara?), but he didn`t stop for the boy in the hall, running past to his apartment door, he dashed inside and to his room. It was dark. He hadn`t even turned on the light. Naruto sank onto his bed, then quickly stood up again and started pacing around the room. He needed some. He needed it now…badly. He could already feel Orochimaru`s hands on him. He shivered. It made him nauseous again, and then dark force inside him was practically yelling at him, "I need some! I need some now!"
But he didn`t have any. Naruto raked a hand through his hair. Even if he needed some, he didn`t have any. He scratched at his arm distractedly, trying to relieve himself of the pain. Then a thought struck him.
The trash can.
Turning on the light, Naruto dropped to his knees and overturned the trash can, letting everthing spill all over the floor. He pushed aside the papers and old ramen boxes with old noodles still stuck to the inside. There it was, the remains of that small red pill. There was a little bit of fluff on it, but Naruto just picked it off. He rubbed the pill a little and popped it in his mouth without hesitation. The fizzing sensation buzzed over his tongue and immediately he felt calmer.
He felt like…himself again. Naruto gave a sigh of relief. This was how it was supposed to be.