DISCLAIMERS: I own many things, but unfortunately, 'Castle' isn't among those things.
SUMMARY: Castle takes Kate away for a weekend, where they finally discuss the events of that night and his plans for the new book. They also make plans to get help for Ariel. Oh, this is an M-rated chapter.
A/N #1: I want to thank everybody the great feedback and reviews for the previous chapter. Every review in my email inbox makes me so happy. You guys are the best.
A/N #2: I start my new job on Saturday. I'm nervous and excited at the same time, although I'm not thrilled about spending six hours on my feet. I'll tweet all about it on Sunday.
Chapter 21: The Hero Should've Been Me
Kate wanted to wake up, but her whole body was so relaxed. She vaguely remembered Castle helping her into bed the previous night after making love to her in the shower. He'd fallen asleep with his arm casually cast over her stomach, both of them gravitating toward the middle of the bed, like they usually did. What was different about last night was every time Kate tried to move to her side of the bed, Castle would reach for her, drawing her tightly against him. This was a sign that he was having a rough night, so she didn't fight it. Instead she put her hands over his, clasping them against her and letting sleep pull her completely under.
But now it was morning. She could feel the brightness of the room pressing against her eyelids. She opened her eyes, smiling when she saw bright blue eyes peeking at her over the top of the mattress. She patted the mattress beside her as her two-year-old son climbed up on the bed, snuggling against her. Every time she felt his warm body against her, she marveled at the fact that this beautiful little boy had been created by her and Castle. "You're up early. Did you and daddy take Sissy to school?" She kissed the top of his head.
"Daddy and I make you breakfast," he boasted proudly.
"You did? Well, give me a few minutes and I'll get up."
"No, you wait here," he pointed at her before sliding off of the bed and running from the room. "Daddy! Mommy's awake! Stay there, mommy!"
"I'm not going anywhere, Jack," she called back, wondering what mischief her husband and son were up to.
Moments later, Castle walked into the room carrying a tray with Jack trailing behind him. "See? We make breakfast." Jack got back onto the bed, settling against his mother's side.
"Wow, this looks wonderful," Kate smiled as Castle placed the tray over her legs. She could see that Castle had gone all out. The tray contained pancakes, eggs, bacon, sausage, fresh fruit, and coffee. "Are you going to help me eat this?" She smiled down at Jack.
"Jack has already had his breakfast," Castle sat on the bed by her legs, placing a hand on her knee. "Speaking of children having had their breakfast, your daughter wanted to have green curry for breakfast before school. I convinced her that Cheerios was a much wiser breakfast choice."
"Did you get her to school all right?" She asked him, watching his face. She could always tell when he was lying and she also knew how difficult it had been to get Ari into a car the past couple of weeks.
"Well, I got her into her coat and I got her into the elevator. Then we made it to the parking garage and as far as the car. It all kind of fell apart from there. I did finally manage to get her into the car, but it wasn't easy and she barely got to class on time."
"Sissy wanted to ride on the train," Jack looked up at his mother.
"Did you want to ride on the train, Jack?"
"I'm not Jack," he smiled.
"You're not?" Kate was amused. "Then who are you?"
"I'm George Pig."
"Oh, no. I'm going to miss my Jack the Bear."
"You're silly, mommy," he giggled as Kate and Castle both laughed.
"So are you," she handed him some blueberries, which he promptly popped into his mouth. "You and daddy made me such a good breakfast."
"Hey buddy, why don't you go play with your cars and trucks so that mommy can finish her breakfast?" Castle suggested as Jack climbed off of the bed and ran from the room. "Kate, what are we going to do about Ariel? I'm worried that her meltdowns are going to start rubbing off on Jack."
"Let's call that doctor that Dr. Swann recommended. We'll see if we can make an appointment to meet with him. Were you okay last night?"
"Yeah. Why?"
"You didn't want to let me out of arm's reach." She watched him as his eyes cast down toward the comforter on the bed. "Rick? Talk to me. What's going on?"
"I was thinking last night after you went to sleep. I talked to mother this morning and she's going to watch the kids this weekend so that you and I can go to the Hamptons house for the weekend. We have some things that we need to talk about."
"Castle, everything's fine," she smiled at him.
"No, Kate," he shook his head. "Everything's not fine. I got an earful from the boys last night. I'm not angry at you. But things can't go back to the way that they were before we got together when our lives consisted of subtext and mixed signals. But I don't want to discuss this right now. I'm going to go play with Jack and let you enjoy your breakfast," he got up from the bed and leaned over to press his lips to her forehead. "I love you."
"I love you, too."
After eating breakfast, showering and dressing, Kate took the card that Castle had gotten from his therapist and dialed. The phone was answered by a pleasant sounding young woman. She told Kate that the doctor had an opening to speak to her and Castle Monday afternoon at four. She told her to come in at least an hour early to fill out paperwork.
When she came back out into the living room, she stopped to watch Castle and Jack both sprawled on their stomachs on the living room rug, cars, trucks, blocks, and plastic track scattered around them. Castle loved playing with his kids; be it laser tag with Alexis, tea parties with Ari or Manhattan Gridlock with Jack. "It's a major traffic jam," Castle told his son.
"Oh no," Jack slapped his head. "We'll be stuck for hours!"
"Can I play?" Kate knelt down beside Castle.
"No girls, mommy!"
"Hey, we need a traffic cop," Castle smiled at Jack.
"Okay," Jack agreed rather reluctantly.
The two adults and the little boy played for another hour or so until Jack got bored and wanted to play in his room. Since Castle had helped him make the mess, he helped him clean it up, placing the vehicles in his backpack, and the rest where it belonged. "I think that we should have 10 more just like him," Castle announced, collapsing on the sofa as his knee audibly popped, making both of them wince.
"The day that you can push them out of your body, we'll have 10 more. Until then, you're SOL," Kate sat down and took his hand in hers. "Dr. Franklin will see us Monday at four. The receptionist told me to be there an hour early to fill out paperwork."
"What're you going to tell Ariel?"
"I'm not telling her anything until after we talk to Dr. Franklin. What exactly did she say yesterday when she hid from you at Alexis'?"
"I'll tell you all about it this weekend. I don't want to say anything where Jack can hear us."
"We can talk in the tub tonight," she suggested.
"Okay," he leaned his head on her shoulder.
"Castle, she's going to be okay."
***CCC***
More rain clouds were on the horizon when Kate waited outside of the front doors of Ari's school waiting for school to be dismissed. She heard the final bell, followed seconds later by the doors pushing open and a sea of children exiting, heading for nearby school buses or to the safety of their parents. The Kindergarten class was almost always the last to exit, since they were led out by their teachers. She smiled when she saw Ari walking out, holding onto one of Miss Kathy's hand while another child held onto the other. Ari's smile was huge when she spotted her mother. "Mommy!" Ari flew into Kate's arms.
Kate lifted Ari into her arms, feeling her daughter's thin legs wrapping around her waist. "Thank you, Miss Kathy," Kate smiled.
"Have a good evening, Ariel. I'll see you tomorrow."
Walking across the grounds and to her car in the parking lot, Ari cheerfully chattered about her day at school, about what her different classmates had done and which boy had tried to chase her on the playground today. "Let's not tell daddy about the boys chasing you on the playground," Kate smiled as they approached the car. She instantly felt Ari stiffen up. "Ari? Ariel, it's okay," she put the terrified little girl on the ground. "Ari, you need to breathe," Kate knelt down in front of her daughter. "Would you like to know something? A secret about mommy?"
"What?" Ari stared at her mother, her breathing rapid.
"I get scared sometimes, too. I'm going to tell you something that Uncle Javi told me a long time ago. You trust what Uncle Javi says, don't you?"
"Yes," Ari nodded.
"Ari, this is just a car. And this," she opened the back door and touched Ari's booster seat, "is just a seat. They're things, Ari. They're not magical things like in the movies. They're just normal, ordinary things. They can't hurt you. Now I'm going to put you in your seat and I'm going to strap you in, just like I always do. Then I'm going to get behind the wheel and start the car. But before I do that, I'm going to make sure all of our doors are locked. Now, is it hard or easy to get in a door that's locked?"
"Hard."
"Okay then," Kate smoothed Ari's long hair and lifted her into the booster seat and strapping her in. "What would you like to listen to while we ride home?"
"Pink," Ari smiled.
"All right then. Pink, it is," Kate found the CD and slipped it into the player.
Later that night long after the kids were tucked into their beds, Castle slipped into a warm bath, helping Kate into the warm water with him. She sighed as she leaned back against his chest and felt his arms come around her. "Ariel saw something on the news about Denise Newburg," Castle's voice echoed off of the walls. "So now she thinks that not only do bad guys pull little girls from their car seats, but they also put them into trunks."
"I thought that she was going to have a full-blown panic attack this afternoon when I picked her up at school. I told her what Javi told me so long ago. Do you remember when I told you?"
"Yeah," he remembered how close she'd been to falling apart during the Lee Travis sniper case so long ago. He'd urged Esposito to talk to her since he was the only person with even a clue as to what Kate was feeling at the time. "Did it work?"
"This time. I think we're both running out of tricks, Castle."
"I think reminding her that the car is just a tool was good. See? You've got this whole mom thing down," he kissed her neck, feeling her shudder against him.
"Well, I've had five years to perfect the craft. Is it always going to be this hard?"
"I don't know. Alexis' only major trauma when she was little was the usual monsters under the bed. I armed her with a flashlight and all was right with her world. I've never had to deal with anything like this."
***CCC***
"When are you going to be back?" Ari was sitting on the vanity watching Kate put on her makeup. Castle had made early dinner reservations and then they were going to go to the Hamptons.
"Sunday before you and Jack go to bed. You're going to have a great time with Gram. Tomorrow she's going to take you and Jack shopping."
"Why can't Jack and I go with you?"
"Ari, daddy and I have to talk about some grown up things. Things that we can't talk about in front of you and your brother."
"Are you getting a divorce?"
"No, sweetie. It's nothing that you need to worry about," Kate turned toward her daughter.
"Then why do you have to go to the Hamptons to talk? Jack and I can stay in our rooms."
"Ari, I promise that the very second that the weather gets warm enough, we will all go to the Hamptons as a family. We'll go looking for seashells on the beach and if it's warm enough, we'll even have a picnic. Okay?"
"Will you call every day while you're gone?"
"Ari, daddy and I are going to be gone for just two short days. But yes, I promise that we will call tonight when we get there and you can talk to both of us in the morning. And if you need to talk to us, you know how to call us. You're going to be fine. If you get scared to get into Gram's car, just remember what I told you. The car and your booster seat are just things. Gram will make sure that all of the doors in the car are locked. Can you do that for me?"
"I'll try," Ari bit down on her lip, a habit she'd gotten from her mother.
"That's my girl," Kate ran her blusher brush over Ari's face as the little girl giggled in delight.
"Can I have some lip gloss, too?"
"When you're 16."
"Come on, mom," Ari whined.
"You're not old enough for makeup. Come on, lets' go see what daddy and Jack are doing."
Castle looked up and smiled when Kate exited his office with Ariel in tow. She was wearing a gorgeous purple dress that brought out the green in her eyes. She had paired them with a pair of five-inch purple velvet heels. "You're pretty, mommy," Jack complimented her.
"You're so sweet. Thank you."
"Mother will be here any minute. Is Ariel wearing makeup?"
"I lightly ran my blusher over her face. It'll wash off."
Castle was about to say something further when they heard Martha's key in the loft, followed seconds later by the vivacious redhead walking in, making an entrance, as usual. The kids instantly ran over to her, embracing her excitedly. Every time Kate saw how exuberantly the kids welcomed their grandmother, it made her long for her own mother. She knew that Johanna Beckett would've adored being a grandmother. "We will back Sunday by five," Castle told Martha. "Do not stuff them full of junk over the weekend."
"What fun is being a grandmother if I can't stuff my grandchildren full of candy and pop?"
"I have two words for you, mother. Projectile vomiting," he pointed toward Jack. "He makes Regan in 'The Exorcist' look like a piker."
"It's pretty gross," Ariel added, nodding sagely.
"Okay, so no junk food binges," Martha sighed. "Be careful, you two. We'll see you Sunday afternoon.
"Have fun and mind grandma," Kate kissed first Ari and then Jack.
"Bye, mommy. Bye, daddy," Jack rubbed his face where Kate had kissed him.
"Do you promise that you'll be back Sunday at five?" Ariel clasped her father around his legs, staring up at him.
"We will be back Sunday afternoon, baby girl. I promise," Castle lifted her into his arms, kissing her soft cheek. "I love you."
"I love you, too," Ariel wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly.
It was almost eight o'clock by the time they finished dinner and headed for the Hamptons. Kate quickly called Martha, who put both of the kids on before they went to bed. After ending the call, she put her seat back a little and closed her eyes. She knew that it would be close to one in the morning before they reached the house. "Are you sure that you don't want me to drive?" She asked sleepily.
"No, I'm good. Get some sleep."
Kate wrapped her coat around her shoulders and tucked herself into the seat. Castle smiled, remembering how long it had taken Kate to trust his driving. It really meant a lot now after he'd almost killed their daughter. He played with the Sirius radio until he found an 80's channel. Cracking the window to let in some air, he continued toward their destination.
Kate opened her eyes when she felt their speed reduce. "Where are we?" She struggled to wake up, looking around at her surroundings in the darkness. "Are we in Southampton?"
"In just a few minutes. How'd you sleep?"
"I had a dream that I was at a Van Halen concert."
"Oh, I was listening to the 80's channel on Sirius. You know, Hair Bands."
"I know. It's okay, Castle. At least it wasn't the Page Brothers."
"Hey, come on. 'Get on the Floor' was destined to be a classic," he grinned, remembering the rapping brothers they'd met during one of their earlier cases.
"It always smells so good out here."
"I know. That's what I always loved about it when I first bought the house. The smell of the ocean and the sound of it. I never get tired of it."
Castle pulled into the drive of the Hamptons house almost 45 minutes later. Kate groaned when she stepped out of the car after he'd opened her door for her. He slipped his arm around her waist, guiding her into the house after he'd unlocked the door.
They were both so exhausted that they fell into bed soon after changing into nightclothes. Kate cuddled close to Castle and drifted away to the feel of his breath on the back of her neck and his arm slung over her, just like always.
She wasn't sure how long she slept before awakening suddenly. She rolled over and saw Rick lying on his back, staring at the ceiling in the darkness. Years of sleeping beside him had her attuned to the nights when he wasn't asleep, just as he always knew when she was awake. She propped herself up on one elbow as he turned his eyes toward her. "Are you okay? Are you in pain?" She knew that the combination of the cold, dampness, and the long drive couldn't be good for his leg.
"No, I just couldn't sleep. I was going to get up and write, but I didn't want to wake you up."
"Well, I'm awake now," she moved closer, laying her head on his shoulder and stroking his chest with her fingers.
He stilled her fingers with his hand, as she glanced up at him. "The boys made it pretty clear that they don't want me to write the book. 'Sito said that you felt that way, too. Is that true?"
"I know why you feel the need to write it," Kate sat up in their bed. "My misgivings about the book aren't about me, Rick. I worry about what it could do to you. The accident was just two months ago. You're still trying to heal, mentally and physically. I want us to move forward as a family and put Tyson and Neiman out of our heads. Jack's still little enough so that he doesn't understand what you write about. But Ari does. She's bright and inquisitive. I'm not sure if she's going to understand why you want to write about the man who tried to kill the two of you."
"Kate, if you don't want me to write about him, I won't do it."
"Castle, I'm not saying that I don't want you to do it; I'm just saying to shelve it for a month or two. Tell Gina that you need a little more time. That way you can get some more healing done and we can get Ari the help that she needs."
"Well, she's given me a deadline of May first for the first three chapters. I can get an extension. She won't like it, but I'm used to that," he played with her fingers, always in awe of how small her hand was compared to his. "That night must've been hell for you. Worrying about whether I was going to survive. Worrying that they wouldn't find Ariel in time."
Kate's breath hitched as she tried to prevent herself from crying. She didn't want to talk about that night, especially not at four o'clock in the morning. Her thinking processes had been so muddled that night that she wasn't even sure at time if she was thinking. She had just existed. She didn't remember calling Martha, Alexis, or her father, but suddenly they were all there. "Castle—" she fought to keep her voice from breaking.
"Hey, it's okay. But that is one of the things that we need to talk about. Come here," he motioned her back down to him, letting his lips drift over hers, swallowing her shaky sob on a gentle kiss.
***CCC***
Kate didn't remember going back to sleep. It was still early, but light was starting to filter through the French doors leading outside. She noticed one of the doors was opened slightly, so she knew that Castle was outside. She got out of bed and slipped into her robe before walking out onto the cold patio floor. She stepped up behind Castle and slipped her arms around him from behind, standing on tip-toe to press a kiss to the back of his neck. "Did you go back to sleep?"
"For a couple of hours. I called mother and talked to the kids. I told Ariel that you would call her when you woke up."
"Let me take a shower and I'll call them. Then I'll cook us breakfast," she kissed him again before going back into the house.
Castle stayed on the patio after Kate had gone back into the house, staring out at the horizon. But his mind wasn't on what was in the distance. Instead his mind was on a cold December night and the sounds of his daughter's shrieks of terror as two psychos' stole her into the night. He could remember the fire department arriving. He remembered someone placing a yellow tarp over him as machinery fired to life. He figured it had to be the Jaws of Life cutting him out of the car. He could remember telling them that Ariel had been taken, but his words had no sound to them. It wasn't until Kate arrived that he was finally able to articulate the horrifying news about Ariel. "You have to find her, Kate! They're going to kill her if you don't!" He could remember saying those same words over and over.
He didn't remember anything that happened once they reached the hospital. His next clear memory was waking up, unable to breathe, but looking into the huge, frightened eyes of Ariel as she hugged him tight. He remembered her tears soaking the hospital gown that he was wearing. He remembered his tears mixing with hers, soaking into her hair. He remembered being angry at Kate for allowing their daughter to see him like that.
He walked into the bedroom and into the bathroom, smiling at Kate as she stepped out of the shower, toweling her hair off. "Let's take a walk on the beach after breakfast," he suggested as he began to undress.
"Okay," she stepped up, brushing her lips against his. "Is French toast okay for breakfast?"
"Yeah, sounds good. I'll be down in a few minutes."
When Castle came downstairs 20 minutes later, he could hear Kate's voice. "Sweetie, I'm sorry that you hurt your finger. Did Gram kiss it and make it better?"
Yes, but it still hurts!" He heard Jack's voice on Kate's speakerphone. "Come home and kiss it, mommy!"
"Jack, by the time I get back home, your finger will feel all better. Tell Gram to put a Spiderman band-aid on it and I'll kiss it for you tomorrow when I get home. Let me talk to your sister."
"Hi, mommy," Ari's voice came over the phone. "What're you doing?"
"Making daddy breakfast. What're you doing?"
"Nothing. Jack hurt his finger."
"I know. He told me all about it."
"I miss you, mommy."
"I miss you too, sweetie. But we'll be home tomorrow. Have a good time with Gram. Help her keep an eye on Jack."
"I will. Bye, mommy."
"Bye, sweetie."
"What did Jack do to his finger?" Castle walked into the kitchen.
"The toy box lid fell on it. Martha said he's okay."
"I'll talk to your dad about fixing that lid."
After breakfast and washing dishes, Kate and Castle both donned hooded sweatshirts before setting off for the beach. The sun was shining, but it was windy and cool. As they walked side by side, Castle reached out for Kate's hand, clasping it in his and placing both of their hands in his hoodie pocket. "How often do you think about that night?" He asked as they walked on the hard-packed sand.
"Every minute of every day. When I heard you say that they had grabbed Ari, I think my heart stopped. I was so torn," she stopped walking to look at him. "Gates wanted me to go with you, but you wanted me to look for Ari. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to be with both of you. I wanted to be the one to comfort you, but I also wanted to be the one to find Ari."
"You did what you needed to do, Kate. Maybe it sounds selfish, but I wanted you to ride with me to the hospital. I was so scared and having you there to hold my hand made everything less scary."
"I can't help thinking about what kinds of thoughts were going through Ari's mind while she was in their clutches," Kate stared at her feet. "She had to sit there and listen to them call her daddy names, and talk about what they were going to do to her."
"I did some Google research about Dr. Franklin before you woke up this morning. He's good, Kate. I read reviews from the medical magazines and they all sing his praises. He's been a renowned child psychologist for more than 15 years. He has all kinds of awards and commendations. It looks like he's the best."
"That's good because I want her to have the best," she looked up and gave him a watery smile. "I miss our Ari, Castle. I miss that funny little girl who'd dance around and make up silly songs."
"We're going to get that little girl back, Kate," he closed the distance between them and pulled her into a warm embrace. "I promise that we're going to get her back."
When they got back to the house, they curled up together under a throw at the end of the sofa with a blazing fire going in the fireplace. "It was the longest night of my life," he looked down at Kate when he heard her speak. "I don't even remember calling anybody. It seemed like one second I was waiting outside of the operating room alone, and then your mother, Alexis, and my dad were all there."
"Maybe Gates called them."
"No, my father told me that he'd gotten my call, but I wasn't making a lot of sense. Alexis told me that I kept repeating the same words over and over. Your name, Ari, and an accident. She said the same thing that my dad said. That I wasn't making any sense. About an hour into the waiting, I remembered Ari's watch. The one that you'd gotten her for her birthday," she looked into his eyes as he nodded. "I called Helen, because she was staying at the loft with Jack. I asked her to search Ari's jewelry box for it and I was so thankful when she said that it wasn't there."
"The boys told me that was how they ended up tracking Tyson's car. Do you know how long it was before you saw her again?"
"No," she shook her head. "It felt like a lifetime. I remember Capt. Gates telling us that the boys had found her and that they were bringing her to the hospital. I asked her if she was hurt and she told me that she didn't think so from the way that Ari was screaming when she was trying to talk to Ryan and Espo. I just wanted to see her, Castle. I wanted to see her and hold her. I needed to feel her again."
Castle held her tighter to him, feeling her shake with silent sobs. He knew that night had to have been a living nightmare for her. Kate had carried their daughter in her body, close to her heart for nine months only to have her almost stolen from her so violently. "What happened when you finally saw her again?" He whispered into her hair.
"The doctor had just come out to tell me that you'd be out of surgery soon," she wiped her face. "I think that I sensed she was near before I actually saw her. I looked toward the end of the hall and I saw Ryan step off of the elevator, carrying her in his arms." She smiled at the memory of seeing Ari for the first time after the accident. "I saw Kevin whisper something in her ear and then he put her on the floor. I was down on the floor and she hit me like a linebacker for the Giants. She hit me so hard that we both fell over. She was holding onto me so tight, Castle. Her face was bleeding and so were her hands. Then I saw that one of her pant legs was covered in blood. I remember taking her downstairs to the ER and letting a resident look at her. She was holding this filthy stuffed rabbit in her hands and she wouldn't let the doctor take it. There was no light in her eyes, Castle."
"She was in shock."
"The only words that would come out of her mouth were 'Where's my daddy?' She kept asking me that over and over. I told her that the doctor was making you better. She didn't believe me. The next day when she was at Alexis', she accused us of lying to her about your condition. She thought that you were dead and we were afraid to tell her."
"That's why you brought her to the hospital that day," he closed his eyes and sighed.
"That night was hard on the boys. The only thing Kevin has ever told me was they didn't know how they were going to break the news to me if they hadn't found her. Javi told me the other day that he had to start seeing his therapist again. He said that he couldn't deal with the nightmares."
"Kate, I don't want to hurt any of you. But writing is how I deal with things. It always has been. I can put this on hold for a little while, but I can tell you from experience that it isn't going to go away."
"I just want to help you heal," she touched his face. "If writing about Jerry Tyson is what it takes to help you heal, then that's what you need to do."
They remained curled up on the sofa, talking amid intermittent kisses and touches. Spending quiet time like this with her husband was among her favorite things to do. While she loved being a mom more than life itself, sometimes it was nice to be able to connect with Castle without constant interruptions. "I should've been the hero for both of you," she blurted out as Castle stilled his fingers.
"Kate, no," he tilted her chin up to look at him. "You were the hero that night. If you hadn't remembered Ariel's watch, I hate to think of what they would've done to her. You saved her life."
"Castle, I should've been the one that she ran to when Neiman threw her out of that car. I was the one that should've comforted her when she was screaming!"
"Hey, you were where you needed to be."
"Castle, you don't understand!" She got up and walked over to the French doors. "I'm Ari's mom! I'm the one who's supposed to pick her up when she falls, or kisses her cuts and scrapes to make her feel better. I'm not supposed to leave that job to my co-workers! I should've been on the LIE that night, not Ryan and Esposito!"
Castle had been waiting two months for this meltdown to happen. He'd seen hints that it was on the horizon, but Kate held everything in until she was about to burst. She always had and he suspected that she always would. It all went back to being that scared 19-year-old who'd been forced to take care of herself in the wake of a murdered mother and an alcoholic father who was so blinded by his own rage and grief that he couldn't or wouldn't see what was happening to his own daughter. Even after so long together, Kate still had problems letting Castle be the strong one.
He got off of the sofa and walked over to her, pulling her close as she clung to the back of his shirt. "Ariel was so happy to see you, Kate. And believe me when I tell you that she understood why you weren't there when she came out of that car."
"How could she understand, Castle? She's five and her mother wasn't there when she needed her. I can't do to her what my mother did to me."
"Kate, you're talking about two entirely different sets of circumstances," he pulled her back slightly to look at her. "Your mother didn't have a choice in the matter. Death pulled her from you. You weren't dead that night, Kate. If you could've been there, you would've been there. But I needed you that night too, Kate. I might not have known that you were there, but it doesn't mean that I needed you less. Sometimes as a parent you have to make choices. Sometimes those choices aren't the easiest to live with. But you do what you have to."
"What would I do without you?" She wrapped her arms around his waist once again, pressing her wet cheek into his chest.
"You'd be miserable and still dealing with walls that are 20 feet high."
"You're probably right."
"Probably right? I ask you, who else would've even tried tearing down those walls that you put up?"
"Nobody, because I was never with anyone else who was persistent enough or nosy enough," she teased him.
Later that evening, Castle was lying in their bed reading an old Le Carre novel. He kept one ear tuned to the bathroom, waiting for the water to shut off. After her meltdown earlier that afternoon, Kate had returned to the sofa with Castle where they lazed away the rest of the afternoon. Castle made them Chef's Salad for dinner and then they relaxed by the fireplace with glasses of wine. Before going upstairs to bed, they had called the loft and spoken to both kids. Jack reported that his finger still hurt, but Alexis had come over and made chocolate chip cookies, which helped in the mending process. Ariel asked once again what time they would be home. She seemed to relax when they told her once again five o'clock.
Hearing the bathroom door open, Castle smiled when he saw Kate sauntering across the bedroom, with her hair damp from her shower and wearing nothing but a towel knotted around her upper body. And it wasn't one of their bath sheets either, Castle smiled. It was a regular bath towel, which barely skimmed Kate's ass and left absolutely nothing to the imagination. The closer she got to the bed, the further south the blood in his body seemed to travel. He quickly marked his place in his book and went to place it on his nightstand, only to miss, falling with a thud to the floor by the bed.
Kate bit her lip and crawled up onto the bed and straddled Castle, who looked like he'd suddenly forgotten how to breathe. "Breathe, Rick," she moved closer to him, instantly feeling his arms come around her. Their mouths met and the duel of lips, tongues, and teeth began. Kate slapped Castle's hand away when he reached to untangle the towel that wasn't really hiding anything. "Not yet."
"Kate," he whined into her mouth.
She sat up and smiled at him, her lips swollen from his kisses. "You can have me after I'm done with you."
"Okay," he managed to stammer as she reached for the bottom of his t-shirt and lifted it over his head.
She then scooted further down his body, tugging at his boxers as she moved. He was almost completely hard just from the image of watching her cross the room wearing nothing but that extremely skimpy bath towel. Keeping her eyes locked on his, Kate skimmed her fingers down the insides of both of his thighs, studiously watching his facial expressions as she touched him. She loved the way that his eyes would darken from their usual baby blue to almost black as he became more and more aroused.
Kate moved forward, once again capturing his lips with her own, her tongue exploring his mouth, swallowing his moan of pleasure. Her lips then traveled down to his jaw and neck, as she gently nipped at his skin. He closed his eyes and sighed when he felt her lips blazing a trail down his chest and stomach. He was now so hard that he was throbbing, but still she was taking her time. Just when he was about to beg her to touch him, take him in her mouth, anything to put his out of the agony and ecstasy that he was in, he felt her fingers close around him, stroking him slowly, her thumb brushing over his tip. "Kate," her voice came out of his lips as a strangled moan.
"Hmmm?" She continued kissing his chest and stroking his rock hard cock.
"If you don't do something soon, I'm going to make one hell of a mess." He could feel her grin against his bare chest and knew exactly what she was doing. "Please, Kate?"
"You know what they say, Castle? All good things come to those who wait."
"Oh, somebody's going to be coming in a minute, that's for damn sure."
Feeling her lips move down to the inside of his thigh, he arched his back off of the bed. It took every bit of self-control not to come like a 15-year-old schoolboy right at that moment. He felt her hand move from his cock to his balls. He then felt her warm, wet tongue barely brush over his tip as he jerked once again. He knew that the second he was in her mouth that it was going to be all over.
Kate also sensed that he was close, so she tightened her grip on him to slow things down. After she saw that Castle had regained some sense of control, she once again drew him into her mouth, taking him in deeper, savoring the feel of him, the taste of him against her tongue. She could feel his fingers massaging the back of her scalp as she moved up and down on him, feeling him pulse against the inside of her mouth. She could feel wetness building up between her thighs, her core pulsating as she orally ministered to Castle. Going down on him was always such a turn-on to her. She loved the way that she could make him react to her mouth, whether it was with ice cubes or without. Listening to the sounds that he was making, she knew that he was close, so she redoubled her efforts. She heard him cry out, followed seconds later by him coming in her mouth.
Castle was sweat-soaked and incredibly satiated by the incredibly intimate act Kate had just performed on him. He was still trying to get his breath when he felt her get off of the bed. He heard water running in the bathroom, followed seconds later by the bed once again dipping under Kate's weight. He opened his eyes and smiled when he saw that she was still wearing that little bitty towel. "Can I unwrap you now?" He asked as she bit her lip and nodded.
He reached his fingers into the top of the towel and pulled it away from where it was tucked into her body. Once the towel fell to the bed, Castle picked it up and tossed it toward the floor. He then pulled her close and rolled them so that he was hovering over her. She smiled when his lips came over hers, his kiss alternating between soft and more demanding. She groaned when his fingers closed over her breast, his thumb and forefinger urging her nipple to full hardness. He then repeated the same thing on her other breast. Her groans intensified as Castle continued playing with her breasts. Her breasts had always been extremely sensitive and Castle took full advantage of that fact.
Leaving her mouth, smiling at her whimper of disappointment, Castle kissed his way down to her breasts, encasing first one and then the other into his mouth, tugging on her nipples with his lips and gently biting as she wrapped her hands into his hair, holding him closer. She could feel his fingers tracing the long scar on her left side, gradually moving lower as her legs instinctively opened wider for him. "Patience, my lovely detective," he smiled against her breasts. "You don't think I'm going to give you relief that easily, do you? After the torture that you just put me through?"
"Castle, please? I'm so close."
"I know you are. But never interrupt a man when he's having a snack."
"Seriously? You're on my boobs more than the kids were when they were nursing."
She heard his cackle of laughter as he moved back up her body to stare down into her eyes. "I can't help it. I told you it's biological. Besides, I happen to be extremely attractive to your boobs."
"Would you hurry and finish your snack then so that you can get to the entre?" She pushed his head back down to her breasts.
Between the kisses and the caresses, Kate was about to come out of her skin with want and desire. A non-stop litany of sighs and blasphemies were pouring out of her mouth. She felt Castle's tongue leaving a wet trail down her abdomen, stopping when he reached her thighs.
Every time they made love, Castle always had to ponder that this beautiful woman was in his bed. That all of the men in the world that she could have had, she'd chosen to be with him. It never failed to take his breath away. She was panting and keening with the desire for him to touch her, to make her come completely undone under his lips and tongue. He loved to listen to her when she shattered around him or under him. One thing he could say about their sex life was that it had never been quiet. They both loved nothing better than to make the other scream.
She was so warm and so wet. Rick knew that he'd never tire of being with her, never get bored with solving the mystery that was his beautiful Kate. He used his hands to press her thighs even further apart and barely touched the flat of his tongue to her as she screamed and arched her back off of the bed like a cat. "Oh, shit! Yes!" She pulled on her breasts when she felt Castle start to seriously work her into a frenzy with his very talented tongue.
Castle knew that Kate was close by the way that her thighs were trembling under his hands. He flicked the tip of his tongue over her engorged clit, earning another scream of pleasure from his wife. He then clamped his lips over it and gently sucked on it before nipping at it with his teeth.
Kate was alternating between pulling on her nipples and trying to gain purchase with her heels on the sheets. She could feel Castle desperately trying to keep her still, but she was all over the place. She could feel the most unbearable tension building up in her pelvis. She wanted it to burst forth and keep building all at the same time. That tension was radiating down to her thighs and between her legs, especially that one spot that Castle was paying such close attention to with his lips, tongue, and teeth. She felt him slowly insert two fingers into her and move them up to that sweet spot inside of her. Castle had been the only man who had actually taken the time to find that spot that could make her come multiple times. "Oh fuck, Castle! I'm so close! Harder!"
Castle was only too happy to oblige her. He sucked a little harder on her clit and moved the two fingers inside of her a little faster. He felt the sudden increase of wetness over his fingers and felt Kate press him tighter against her as she came hard. Her screams echoed in the quiet bedroom as Castle slowly brought her down from her orgasm.
She had her eyes closed and was panting for breath when she felt him rejoin her on their pillows. She opened her eyes and gave him a bright smile as they kissed softly. "That must be what they mean by mind blowing sex," she was still fighting to catch her breath as they continued sharing kisses and caresses.
"That was just the appetizer," he kissed her shoulder. "I'm not sure I have enough energy for the main course."
"I'll wake you up in an hour for round two," she rolled over, wrapping her leg around him.
"Sounds good. Do you want to cover up?" He mumbled sleepily.
"Not cold, Castle."
***CCC***
"What time is it now?" Ariel asked, pacing up and down the living room floor.
"It's five minutes later than the last time that you asked," Martha told her granddaughter patiently.
"What if mommy and daddy are really late?"
"You, my dear, are going to have gray hair by the time you're eight if you don't stop worrying so much," Martha admonished the little girl.
Ariel was about to say something else when she heard a key in the front door. Seconds later, the door opened as her parents entered the room. "Mommy! Daddy! You came back!" Ariel raced to her mother first.
"Sweetie, we told you that we'd be back," Kate looked across the room at Martha, who just gave a slight headshake. "Where's Jack?"
"He went to the museum with Brian and Lex."
"You didn't go?" Kate frowned. "Ari, you love the museum."
"They wouldn't take the subway," Martha said. "Miss Ariel has decided that she's only safe in your car or her daddy's."
Kate looked at Castle and then her mother-in-law. She knew that they had to get Ari help fast before it destroyed all of them.
A/N #3: I didn't set out to make this chapter 8k+ words. It just happened.
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