The next day, the twenty-sixth, Sirius, Harry and Barbara were sitting in the flat, watching Love and Lust on TV again. It was an incredibly hot day, and the air conditioning was blasting. On the show, one of the main characters was going on a blind date, which was going horribly.

"Did you know, I used to get all my dating advice from shows like these?" said Barbara with a grin. "No wonder I never had a relationship that lasted for very long."

"It's probably not a good idea," Sirius agreed. "This is more of a what not to do."

The character was starting to cry over her ex-boyfriend, and her date looked incredibly uncomfortable.

"At least I didn't do that," said Barbara.

That was when the phone rang. Harry was hoping it was Hermione, calling to watch the show ironically with him, so he picked it up quickly on the first ring—the hell with that magazine's advice about picking up on the second ring.

"Hello?" he said eagerly.

"Why, Mr. Potter," said a vaguely familiar voice on the phone. "How nice to hear your voice. How are you?"

Harry tried to remember how you figured out who was on the phone without asking them when they obviously remembered you.

"I'm fine," he said. "Uh…is this call for me?"

"Well, it's for all of you, isn't it?" said the caller. "Why don't you put me on speakerphone, Mr. Potter, and I can speak to your godfather as well? Is Barbara there?"

"Yeah." Harry turned on the speakerphone and said, a little artificially, "Look who's on the phone!"

"Who?" said Barbara, looking around.

"Barbara, honey," said the caller. "How are you? We've missed you so, here around Bunsen and Barnes."

Then Harry knew. It was Mr. Glacier!

"Oh, I've missed you, too, Mr. Glacier!" she said, muting the TV and leaning over the back of the couch. "I'm super pregnant! You can meet the baby once she's born, if you want!"

"I'd love to," Mr. Glacier told her. "When are you due?"

"September," she said brightly. "We're moving to Scotland, so we can be near the school where Siri teaches, but I can always come back to visit."

"Please do," said Mr. Glacier. "Anyway, I suppose you're wondering why I'm calling?"

"Sure," said Sirius.

"Well, I just wanted to remind you, Mr. Potter, that your aunt and uncle are still in jail, and we need a day in court to send them to prison officially," said Mr. Glacier seriously. "If it's convenient for you, I can schedule the date for July 30, and I'll give you a call later about the hour."

"O-Okay," said Harry in surprise. The sooner the Dursleys were in prison, he supposed, the better, but the truth was, it seemed like their lawsuit last summer with Mrs. Figg and her cats turning up in the courtroom with the police had been the end of an era. He had a godfather, a godmother-in-law (if that was a thing), a baby sister, two best friends, a girlfriend, and he'd be living in a house in Hogsmeade. It was almost as if he could no longer relate to his old self, a lonely boy with no friends or any real family, and he didn't even know if that was good or bad.

"I think we're free that day," said Sirius.

Once that had been arranged, they watched the show again until the ad break came on. Sirius was getting snacks in the kitchen, and Barbara was in the bathroom yet again, when the phone rang for the second time. Harry still hoped it was Hermione.

"Hello?" he asked.

"Why, hello again, Harry." It was a grown woman; sweet, low and gentle, her voice reminded Harry of a hummed lullaby. "Is Barbara there?"

"Uh, she's in the bathroom," Harry told the caller, "for the third time this hour."

"Ah, yes, I remember being pregnant." She laughed. "Going to the bathroom is what pregnant women do, Harry."

"Who is this?" Harry asked.

"It's Sirius's very own cousin, Andromeda," she said. "I was wondering how Barbara might feel about a baby shower."

And then Harry knew Regulus had already talked to her about it. Maybe Sirius was right about Andromeda being very neat and particular.

"You can tell your girlfriend, Hermione, that she's invited, too," Andromeda continued.

"Who's on the phone, Harry?" Sirius called from the kitchen.

"It's Andromeda!" Harry shouted to him. "She wants to throw a baby shower for Barbara! Is that okay?"

"Baby shower?" came Barbara's voice from the bathroom, and then, "Sirius!"

"Blast it!" said Sirius, heading for Barbara's bathroom. "Not again."

"Let me guess," said Andromeda, still laughing. "He needs to help her off the toilet?"

"How did you know that?" asked Harry.

"Like I said, I was pregnant once, with my Nymphadora," she told him.

"But I thought she likes—"

"I don't care what she likes people to call her," said Andromeda, cutting him off. "I spent twelve hours in labor with her and I think it's a lovely name."

Harry didn't know what to say to that, and Andromeda just laughed again. One thing Harry noticed was that she laughed a lot.

Once Sirius had hoisted Barbara off the toilet, and the two of them were out of the bathroom, Harry pressed the speakerphone button and they all talked to Andromeda. Sirius seemed glad to hear from his favorite cousin.

"Andromeda," he said affectionately. "When did you learn to use the phone?"

"Probably before you did," she joked. "Ted taught me."

"Definitely before he did, then," Harry told her. "I taught Sirius—and I taught him about the TV, too."

"Nice," she said. "Anyway, is there any particular day that would be convenient for you, Barbara? For the baby shower?"

"Sure…July 30, I guess," Barbara replied. Harry wondered if she was trying to get out of the court date, or if she'd simply assumed she wasn't invited. Probably both.

"Very well!" Andromeda said brightly. "July 30 it is. All the bridesmaids will be there, honey, and—"

"Are you planning on inviting Narcissa?" Sirius interrupted.

"Well…I don't see why it would matter to you," Andromeda said slowly. "I mean, it's not like you're going to be there, are you?"

"No," said Sirius, "but—"

"Look, Sirius, I'd feel terrible if I didn't." Andromeda's voice had taken on a pleading note. "She is my sister, after all…"

"Did she invite you to the baby shower for her little brat?"

"Well, no, but—"

"And did she come to the shower for Tonks?"

"No, but—"

"There you are," said Sirius. "She probably wouldn't want to come, anyway, because Barbara's a Muggle."

"I don't care," Andromeda told him. "Because…well, because I want her there, that's all. It's hard to be the odd one out, when your older and younger sisters get along, and then you're the one stuck in the middle, left out in the cold. I was always a little jealous of the way she and Bella were close and I was like the runt…and I always hoped that as adults we could put all that behind us. I guess I can safely give up on Bella, but 'Cissa…"

Andromeda's voice quavered on the last word. There was a half a minute long silence. Harry could see that Sirius was deep in thought, and he thought he knew what his godfather was thinking—both of them, Sirius and Harry, knew what it was like to be the one the adults didn't favor. But what was it like when your own siblings abandoned you and hung out with each other instead? Being the third wheel? Finally, Sirius sighed.

"I understand," he told her. "Go ahead and invite her. I can't promise she'll come, but it's good of you to make the first move."

"Thanks, Sirius," she replied. "I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you…I am looking forward to having another little girl to spoil, you know."

"Hopefully, though, one not quite as rebellious as Tonks was growing up," Sirius joked.

"Phoebe is Sirius's daughter," said Harry. "If she's anything like her dad, she'll be the most rebellious baby ever."

…

Somehow, Harry found he wasn't as nervous for the court date as he had been last year, the original Potter vs. Dursley. Maybe it was because he knew he wouldn't be sent back to them, or maybe it had something to do with seeing Dudley, reduced to stocking shelves in the grocery store. Or maybe it was because this court date wasn't preceded by a psychiatric exam and a couple of days' hospitalization. Harry figured they would see Dr. Grant eventually, and he didn't mind her; she was kind of…mommish, more so than Barbara, at least, which just made him feel at home. He did hope they wouldn't have to visit Dr. Stefansen, though.

It had really been the custody court date he'd been scared of. He was sure there would be some mix-up and he'd be returned to the Dursleys to stay there for the rest of his natural life. The custody battle had been on his eleventh birthday, he also remembered; it had been so weird turning from ten to eleven. He remembered wondering if, six years from now, he would be waiting for the clock to turn him into an adult wizard. Before the clock struck midnight, he was a kid; after, he wasn't.

Either way, either on top of his old worries or in place of them, new ones had arrived; he knew he wasn't going to be sent back to the Dursleys, but he figured maybe there was something about having a magic gene that deprived you of empathy, because most kids at Hogwarts, especially the underclassmen, were ignorant sheep at best, downright cruel at worst. In his Muggle primary school, Harry had been teased for things like his poorly-fitting clothing and his hair and his "mean, runty look," but never the fact that he had no parents.

These people, even the adults, saw nothing rude or inconsiderate about whispering as he walked by, or standing up to look at him, or even (in Mr. Ollivander's case) grabbing him by the arm and running a finger up and down his scar, then telling him Voldemort's acts were "great." Oh well, at least Sirius had called him out on it. But if word got around school that Harry was a Parselmouth, the kids would be merciless.

So the next few days passed pretty much uneventfully. Ron and Hermione came over almost every day. Barbara complained about being pregnant a lot, although she had gone to a department store and made a baby registry so everyone would know what to buy her (next up would be the wedding registry, Harry supposed). Reno on the Hogsmeade house was going full-swing now that they'd bought it. When the court date approached, it was less "Oh, God, oh God" and more "Meh."

Harry did his hair that day, but it was more to keep his skills from getting rusty than to look good for the stupid Dursleys. He didn't even care anymore. Sirius still washed his hair and had a fresh shave, though.

"Last year, before the custody battle, you asked me if it hurt to shave," said Sirius, grinning as he ran the razor blade through the shaving cream. "And then I told you the story of Regulus slicing his fingers open on the razor blade when he wasn't given permission to shave yet. Remember?"

"Vaguely," Harry said.

"You know, that was the story of the stupidest breakup I ever had," Sirius told him. "Over shaving, in sixth year. This girl, Lorraine or something, she didn't shave anything. I know I'm not really supposed to care, but it was kind of a turn-off. Hairy pits I can deal with, I guess, but the legs and the chest—"

"Wait, a girl with a hairy chest? That's gross."

"Yes…But then she said she wanted me to shave my legs, chest and pits every week at least, and my face every day," Sirius told him. "Maybe wax my eyebrows, too. That's where I drew the line."

Harry wasn't going to ask about Barbara, because he already knew anyway. After all, it was only until recently that he thought women needed to shave at all, and that was because Barbara got rid of everything except the hair on her head, even during pregnancy.

"Do you remember how I was still living in my old studio, where the hallway reeked of cigarette smoke?" Sirius continued. "And there was only one bed, and the kitchen floor was all sticky, and Barbara was still a secretary—and had you even gotten your Hogwarts letter by then? Didn't you have the flu or something?"

"I got my letter after I got the flu, but I think before the court date." Harry grinned. "Why do you ask? Are you feeling nostalgic?"

"Maybe a bit." Sirius shrugged and rinsed his face. "Either way, the letter with all the information about second year will come any day now, maybe even tomorrow—your birthday."

Harry had to admit, he was excited about his birthday. He didn't know what the age was when you were supposed to stop expecting people to make a big deal out of your birthday, but since he couldn't remember his first birthday, and birthdays two through ten had been ignored completely, Harry figured making a fuss about eleven and now twelve wouldn't be that bad.

…

The best birthday present, Harry supposed, would be getting the Dursleys locked up for good. Harry and Sirius wore suits and ties, and Apparated to the courthouse. Harry was getting used to it, and he figured that by the time he was old enough, he'd probably be doing it on his own. He couldn't believe that when he had first done Side-Along Apparition, last summer, he'd thrown up.

They arrived a relatively safe distance away from the courthouse, so nobody would see them appear out of thin air. When the big building came into view, the Dursleys weren't there yet, or maybe they were just inside, but Mr. Glacier, Dr. Grant and Dr. Stefansen were still milling around outside.

"Good, you're here," Mr. Glacier said genially, shaking Harry's hand and then Sirius's. "Send Barbara my love, will you?"

"Absolutely," said Sirius, and he didn't seem threatened by the word "love," either. Harry figured Mr. Glacier probably loved Barbara like a granddaughter, and that was what he meant. Anything other than that would be a little creepy; Mr. Glacier had been practicing law for twice as long as Barbara had been alive.

"It's wonderful to see you, Harry, dear," Dr. Grant added, giving Harry a hug. Appearance-wise, she hadn't changed much since last summer (Harry was hoping she wouldn't say the same thing about him). She was wearing a black pantsuit with black heels, and her hair was fluffed up with the hairdryer, the way Barbara did it. "How are you?"

"Fine, just fine," he said. "Dr. Stefansen?"

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Black," he said seriously, bowing to them each in turn.

"Now, you do know you have to testify, Mr. Potter," Mr. Glacier said seriously.

"Oh…yeah," said Harry, feeling nervous for the first time since he'd heard about the trial. Public speaking had never been one of his favorite activities.

"Listen," Mr. Glacier said. "I'm a lawyer, as you know…But did you know that I used to have the greatest fear of public speaking?"

"You? No way." Harry shook his head. "You're a natural."

"Not so," Mr. Glacier replied. "In fact, I used to be terrified. But then somebody told me that it's really the audience who's scared of you. They're scared you'll be boring, or that they won't be able to understand you. It is simply your job to get rid of their fear. Anyone who's ever been to a boring school assembly or taken a confusing class at school can attest to that. And when I heard it, I just got over my fear. It gave me the power I needed to have self-confidence, and once I had self-confidence, public speaking was easy."

There was that word again, self-confidence. To hear Sirius and now Mr. Glacier tell it, if a guy had self-confidence, he could accomplish absolutely anything he put his mind to.

The courthouse bell clanged. It was time to go inside.

Harry was surprised to see the Dursleys. Aunt Petunia's hair had been cut short like a man's, just like Laurel the businesswoman from Regulus's matchmaking session. Uncle Vernon was bald, and The Mustache was gone. They were both wearing bright-orange prison uniforms and they were both handcuffed.

"Their hair is gone!" Harry hissed.

"Yes," said Mr. Glacier. "They do that in prison, to prevent lice."

Harry could understand that; there had been a lice outbreak in primary school when he was in third grade, and it had practically shut down the whole school. If one kid got it, every kid could. But then Harry thought of Sirius, who had been allowed to keep his long hair in prison.

"Did you have lice in prison, Sirius?" he wanted to know.

"Yeah," said Sirius. "Little itchy crawling things everywhere. In your hair and in your clothes, all the time. They didn't care."

Mr. Glacier looked appalled.

"What prison is this?" he demanded. "It needs to be shut down. Everything about it is against the laws of cruel and unusual punishment."

"It doesn't matter, Mr. Glacier," Sirius said solemnly. "I do appreciate it, but not today."

Anyway, they had called people in to testify. Dr. Grant's statements, and Dr. Stefansen's, were pretty much the same from last summer's. It made Harry realize how much he had really changed as a person. Whatever Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia thought, they weren't looking at the same scared little boy Harry once was. He barely even listened, although he knew their words must have been powerful, because many in the audience were weeping, dabbing at their eyes with tissues. Sirius's eyes were fixated on the Dursleys, and if looks could kill, they would be el muerto.Harry knew they were going to prison; everyone knew it. This was just the formal trial. This time, though, Mrs. Figg had to testify, and so did Harry.

"I spent a lot of time babysitting Harry over the years," Mrs. Figg said. (Harry wished she hadn't chosen the word "babysitting," since twelve was old enough to be a babysitter.) "I had to bore Harry by showing him pictures of my cats, because if he had a good time at my house, the Dursleys would never let him come back. They left him home with me when he should have been having fun with them on vacation. I deeply regret that I didn't contact child services earlier. I didn't know they were keeping him in a cupboard, though."

"Very well," said the judge. "The prosecution calls Mr. Potter himself to the stand."

Harry felt his heart rate pick up again as he walked to the soapbox. Boom, boom, boom, boom. Mr. Glacier said the audience was afraid of him, but he wasn't buying it for a minute.

"H-Hello," he said, along with the worst voice crack in history, it seemed, exaggerated by the way it echoed around the entire courtroom. How humiliating…But that could happen when he was nervous, he knew, so he just tried to ignore it and cleared his throat. "I-I lived with the Dursleys for…for many years, and…um…"

What was he supposed to say now, for Heaven's sake? They locked me up and were really mean to me all the time? That sounded so stupid. Everything he thought of sounded stupid. He had started his testification with "Hello," for crying out loud. Who did that? And what could he say that Dr. Stefansen and Dr. Grant and Mr. Glacier and Sirius and Mrs. Figg and all the others hadn't already said? Why did they need to hear it from him? Because they thought all the others were lying? Harry pulled on his tie, which was driving him crazy in this heat. Everyone was staring, waiting for him to finish. It was one thing to hear people you knew talk about your terrible experiences, but another to do it yourself in front of all these people…but Harry didn't want people thinking he was too emotionally damaged to speak about it. He had to say something.

"I just wanted to be treated as well as my cousin, but they really hated me," Harry said finally. "Looking back, I think I have more self-confidence now than I did last summer." Oh my God, you did not just SAY that. "But self-confidence can be hard to come by when you were deprived of the Critical Love Stage, like Dr. Stefansen talked about."

Dr. Stefansen was nodding knowingly in the audience.

"Bottom line, it's not just me," Harry said. "No kid should have to be treated that way. People who treat their kids like they treat me shouldn't be at large. They belong in prison, where they can suffer for harming someone forever."

Harry didn't want people to think he was "harmed forever," because that sounded kind of dramatic, but he seemed to have chosen the right words. Even though they sounded corny to him, many more audience members were teary-eyed. They all stood up and clapped. Sirius smiled slightly and gestured for Harry to step down from the soapbox, so he did. Harry collapsed into his seat next to Sirius.

"Good job," Sirius whispered.

"I don't think so," Harry whispered back, still feeling sweaty.

"They do." Sirius pointed around the courtroom. Even the judge dabbed at her eyes.

"Unanimous decision by the jury," she said, slamming down her gavel. "Mr. and Mrs. Dursley are sentenced to twenty years each in federal prison."

Harry figured they weren't going to get life; that was probably a little unrealistic. But they also could have gotten away with just ten years. And when they were released, they wouldn't have any money, and Dudley would be thirty-two, out of foster care but probably alone, it would be hard for them to get jobs, and Uncle Vernon would have to start growing his mustache all over again.