I'm reposting the chapter because there was some kind of url issue the last time. Hopefully it works now!
Chapter 21
"Yes," he replied, not hesitating for even a second.
Hermione shook her head. "No, I'm not asking if you will be her father," she said. "I'm asking if you can be her father."
Blond brows furrowed. "I don't think I understand the distinction." He retracted his hand and moved to the sofa to sit. Rubbing his hands over his face, he sighed and faced her again. "Can you ask me again? Maybe it'll make more sense this time."
She moved to join him, but kept a cushion between them. "Do you honestly believe that you can be Kit's father?" she asked, hating herself for having to ask. "This...whole situation is new to you, and I know how you feel about her. I'm just concerned that you have this idealistic concept of fatherhood, and when it doesn't live up to that, you'll leave."
He extended his hand to her, and held her breath until she reluctantly accepted it. "Growing up with Lucius, I often wondered what it would be like when I had kids," he told her. "I was afraid, for the longest time, that I would be like him. He used intimidation to keep me in line, and it made me horrible to everyone else. I thought if I could make people fear me, the way I feared him, then they would respect me as I respected him.
"Being with you and with Kit these past few months," he continued, "I figured out that there's another way. I don't have to be like my father. I love Kit like she's my own. I'll love her long after you tell me to get lost, and I'll love you too. She wants a father, and you've got a willing volunteer before you."
She inched closer and drew his hand into her lap. "It scares me," she confessed.
"Being with me?" he guessed, brows furrowing with confusion and worry.
Hermione shrugged. "Being with you is easy," she replied. "I haven't been with anyone in years, but you...you fit so seamlessly here in our life."
"Then," he asked softly, as if holding his breath, "what are you afraid of?"
She took his hand in both of her own and brought it to her lips to place a soft kiss on his knuckles. "That it's just talk," she whispered.
Draco yanked his hand out of her grip and rose from the sofa. He stood on the other side of the living room, his face reddening with anger, and his chest rising and falling as he breathed deeply. "Just talk?" he hissed. "Telling you I love you was just talk? Telling you I love your daughter was just talk?"
"No," she replied, getting to her feet.
"Then what was 'just talk'?" he wondered, his voice rising with his anger.
Sighing, she looked down at her hands. "Could you please not yell?" she requested. Huffing, he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall. "Please, just let me explain what I meant. Because I do love you, Draco."
His only response was a derisive snort.
She crossed the room and rested her hand on his still crossed forearms. "I don't care if you don't believe me, but it's true," she continued. "Raising Kit, especially on my own, is the most difficult thing I've ever done. I've fought in battles, gone on the run with a possessed locket, nearly died more times than I can count. But being a parent was harder and scarier than any of that. It's easy to say you want a child, that you want to be a father. But when it comes true, when it really happens and there's no turning back, can you be a father?"
"Saying yes proves nothing to you," he muttered, dropping his arms to his side. "And let's face it - there is no way to prove to you that I'm being sincere. So, just tell me what to do. You want me to walk away forever? Done."
"That's the last thing I want," she replied as he reached the front door.
He leaned back against the door and tilted his head up to look at the ceiling. "That night Potter was here, you told him you thought I would be a good father to Kit," he said softly. "Was that a lie?"
"No," she replied.
He laughed a dry, mirthless laugh. "Well, then I'm confused as all hell here, Granger," he retorted, glaring down at her. She continued to look down, chewing on her bottom lip as she did so. When it was clear she would offer him no explanation, Draco sighed and opened the front door. "When you're ready to talk, you know where to find me."
And he was gone.
She had done nothing to stop him.
Hermione stared at the front door, willing herself to open it and run to him. She wished she could have explained herself better, but it was too late. Sinking to the floor, she pressed her back against the door, drew her knees up to her chest, and cried.
"Mummy?" Kit's worried voice asked as she descended the stairs. Hermione looked up and did her best to smile, but she couldn't fool the little girl. "Mummy, is Mr. Draco coming back?"
When she curled up by her mother's side, Hermione wrapped her arms around Kit and held her close. "I'm sure he'll be back, baby," she replied. If only she believed it.
Draco entered the schoolhouse to find his mother directing the movers. She greeted him, and continued with her instructions. It seemed to escape her notice that he was angry. When the last man left, she turned her attention to her only son. Perfectly arched, blonde eyebrows furrowed, and Narcissa opened her mouth to speak.
"What did you say to her?" he demanded before his mother could utter a single syllable. Narcissa opened her mouth again, but no sound came out. "Because whatever the two of you talked about seems to have completely changed her mind about me. Is it her blood? You're afraid I might marry a mudblood? Is that it, Mother? You and Father must be so terrified that I've lowered myself to the likes of her."
Though no words would come, Narcissa found that she still had complete use of her hands. She slapped him. For the first time in 22 years, she slapped her son. "Grow up, Draco," she seethed. "You're not a little boy anymore. It's time you stopped acting like one. And if I ever hear you use that word again, especially when you're speaking about Ms. Granger, you'll earn far worse than a slap to the cheek."
He was alone then. For the first time he realized just how much he hated being alone.