Chapter 21: Erskine's Best Christmas

A/N: Ok, this chapter was inspired by the lovely conversation between me and NightCatMau, who pushed me to put it into a one shot. Well, here I am…

Thanks for the FANTABULOUS reviews!

Ahora, lea con cuidado ... hay una mención del condón ... o.o

Skulduggery watched in absolute horror as Valkyrie wobbled on the ladder above him, attempting to hang a wreath up above the mantel piece. She gripped onto the wall to steady herself and finally got the wreath on the nail, but it kept tipping much to her discontent. She sighed as it went crooked once again, and glanced down at Skulduggery who was chuckling to himself.

"Hmm, you think this is funny, huh Skul?" she called irritably, glaring down at him.

Skulduggery stopped laughing and turned his skull to look at her and replied, "Well, yes actually. If you were me, you would find the scene quite amusing."

Valkyrie growled and kicked her slipper off and at his face. Out of instinct Skulduggery burned it, earning a sigh from Valkyrie who slipped into silence. Skulduggery face palmed and looked back up at his angry girlfriend, who was waiting for a decent apology.

"I'm sorry Val…I did it out of instinct…" he apologized, sympathy apparent in his velvety voice.

Valkyrie's glare softened and she gave a sad smile to Skulduggery. It was just a slipper, no need for her to get all irritated about it. She sighed and began to climb down the ladder to hug him when the wreath once again went crooked. She growled as she reached the final few steps of the ladder, on hopped off. She immediately ran to Skulduggery and gave him a tight hug, kissing his cheekbone before pulling back.

"Apology accepted. I am sorry too," she whispered, grasping his hand.

"What for?"

"Getting overdramatic about a slipper," she replied, rolling her eyes at her actions.

Skulduggery tilted his head to smile, and looked up at the crooked wreath Val had been struggling with. He decided to help her, and gave her a quick hug before climbing up the ladder.

"What are you doing Skul?" she asked, folding her arms and cocking her head.

Skulduggery didn't answer but got the wreath to steady before clambering back down. Valkyrie gave him a sweet smile and went into the other room with him hot on her heels. She walked in their bedroom in the mansion and picked up a cardboard box labeled: "Gift Wrap."

Valkyrie tucked a dark piece of hair behind her ear and thanked Skulduggery for offering to carry the box out into the living room for her. He took it over to the glass table and set it down before taking a seat on the sofa.

"Why do you need wrapping paper?" he asked, watching as Valkyrie peeled back the tape from the box.

Valkyrie looked over to him and replied, "To wrap presents, duh."

Skulduggery smiled and watched as she lay out four rolls of wrapping paper, each one with a design scattered across it. She smiled up at him and gestured to the paper much to his confusion.

"Which one should I use?" she asked, looking down at the rolls.

Skulduggery glanced at the wrapping paper before answering, "Why are you asking me?"

Valkyrie smirked at him and replied, "Well, you always go on and on about your amazing taste in things like this. So, go on ahead."

Skulduggery chuckled before picking up the pale blue roll with snowflakes scattered across it. Valkyrie nodded in agreement and stood up with it. She began to walk into their bedroom with it, Skulduggery close behind her. Before he could step foot into the room, Valkyrie turned and put a hand against his ribcage and shook her head,

"No, no, Detective. I'm going to wrap your present, and before you ask, I'm not letting you see what it is. Now, what about you go get a present for Erskine for us? I've already got every one else's. Thanks love, I love you," she explained, shutting the door before he could speak.

Skulduggery sighed and hunched his shoulders before grabbing his disguise out of the closet and grabbing his car keys. He thought about what to get Erskine when the perfect gift popped into his mind. This was going to be quite the show.

Valkyrie began grabbing the presents from her bag and started to wrap them in the snowflake wrapping paper. As she creased the paper for Tanith's present, she pondered what Skulduggery was retrieving for Erskine. She couldn't imagine anything as she peeled the excess tape from her pajama pants and moved on to Fletcher's gift.

After five minutes of wrapping and boxing presents, she stacked them into a pile and began to carry them out of the bedroom to the Christmas tree when she heard the tires of the Bentley. He was back already? Valkyrie rushed to the tree and set down the marked gifts and ran to the door, opening it for Skulduggery who strolled in with a smirk apparent on his skeletal features. Valkyrie looked at him in confusion as he strode over to the couch and took a seat, leaving Valkyrie clueless. She decided to investigate and walked over to where he sat, taking a seat next to him.

"Mind telling me what you are smiling like a goon over here for?" she asked, leaning forward so she could see his skull better. Skulduggery glanced over at her and leaned back, reaching into his pocket for something. Valkyrie watched speechless as he pulled out a small box, and began to laugh so hard, her eyes watered a bit. She grasped her side and finished her giggling fit, and just had to ask.

"So that's our present to Erskine?" she asked, wiping the tears of laughter from her eye.

Skulduggery smiled and nodded, earning a smirk from Valkyrie who sighed in amusement. She leaned over and kissed him on the teeth and whispered, "Oh, I love you."

The Following Day:

Tanith smiled sweetly at Valkyrie as she began unwrapping the delicate paper covering her gift, and gasped in adoration as she pulled out the zombie movie: "Shawn of the Dead."

Tanith hopped up and hugged her sister, then ran back to her seat leaning into Ghastly. Now it was Fletcher's turn to open his gift, which read "From Skulduggery" on it. He gave a curious glance to the skeleton before ripping it open to reveal a huge bottle of hair gel. Fletcher gave a quick laugh and thank you to Skulduggery, earning a nod from him as he wrapped his skeletal arm around Valkyrie's shoulder.

She couldn't wait for Erskine's reaction to his present. His face would be priceless, and she only prayed that there was a camera nearby when he opened it. She was brought out of her thoughts as Ghastly began to unwrap his present: a new sewing machine.

Ghastly nodded his thanks to Valkyrie and Skulduggery, and gently set the machine down as Ravel impatiently reached for his own present. Valkyrie giggled and handed it to him, smirking at Skulduggery who just leaned back, a smirk forming across his skeletal features. Ravel rubbed his hands together and unwrapped the small gift saying, "Well, you know the saying, the smaller the most expensive."

Valkyrie and Skulduggery laughed.

As he tore the last bits of paper and tape off, and his eyes widened. He examined the label on the box and gasped in horror, and then glared at Skulduggery and Valkyrie, who were clutching onto each other in laughter. Now, even Tanith, Fletcher, and Ghastly were laughing at his reaction, adding to Ravel's irritation.

"That was a sick joke, Skulduggery!" he screeched, quietly slipping the condoms into his pocket.

"I know, couldn't resist," Skul managed, leaning against Val for support.

"Valkyrie! Please tell me you have something better than what your boyfriend has just given!" he begged, looking over at the now calmed Valkyrie.

She nodded, a smirk forming across her pink lips, and stood to walk in her bedroom. Erskine looked at Skulduggery in confusion, but he just shrugged and watched as Valkyrie returned, shoving something behind her back. Tanith and Fletcher laughed as they got a good glance at what she was carrying. Valkyrie gave him one last smile before pulling out a T-shirt with Ravel's smiling face across it. Under the picture in big red letters it read: "#1 Man Whore!"

Ravel growled before snatching the shirt, and walked out the door, slamming it shut behind him. The whole room then exploded with laughter, Skulduggery whispering something in Valkyrie's ear. Her eyes widened, and her expression became soft as she replied, "You did?"

Skulduggery only nodded and handed her the present. She smiled at him and untied the bow atop it, pulling the paper back to reveal a new pair of slippers. Valkyrie laughed and slipped them on before leaning over and kissing Skulduggery. He parted from her much to her confusion and stood, earning the attention from everyone in the room. He grabbed Valkyrie's hands and helped her stand up, smiling at the confused look on her face.

Valkyrie watched in utter shock as he leaned down on one knee, and pulled out a velvet box. She placed a hand over her mouth as tears sprang from her eyes when Skulduggery revealed a beautiful ring inside the box. Ghastly was hugging Tantith who was squealing like a lunatic, Fletcher beside them glaring at Skulduggery.

"Valkyrie Cain, would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?" he asked, a huge grin finding its way upon his skull.

Valkyrie didn't answer due to her shaky voice but nodded as Skulduggery slipped the ring on her finger and stood up to envelope her in a kiss.

A/N: AWWWWW HOW SWEET!

Too fluffy? Ehh whatever. Well hope you enjoyed Erskine's presents!

BTW that line up there in Spanish read: Now, read with caution...there is a mention of condoms. o.o

REVIEW PLEASE! :D
LOVE YOU ALL!