Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own randomness and attempt at creating a Spashley happy ending. All the characters of SoN belong to Tom Lynch and The-N. Any reference to any person, place, or thing is purely for entertainment purposes.

A/N: Reviewers = amazing!

Haha I'm very glad you all liked the church seen. I wanted to put Ashley in a place where she was very vulnerable and uncomfortable, and figured church was the place. You guys asked for a longer chapter with Spashely-ness, and it has been granted. You are officially now caught up to me as far as writing, so sadly updates will be not as frequent, especially with finals week coming up. That said, I shall persevere and continue to write :)

A big thanks to all my reviewers and those who have delurked for me!

Also, I do not know how to solve the rubik's cube, but I've been messing with my friends recently after she learned how to solve it, and I got the idea to use it in the story, in a much better context. And yes, Ashley's experience with it once again mirrors my own (at least for the swearing).


Chapter 21

I owe Madison. Big.

Her suggestion about going to church really helped out. I'm not really sure what all I can do to show appreciation. I mean I already said thanks, isn't that enough?

I'm going to pretend it is, because as much as she's helped me out, Madison is still a big bitch and she still pisses me off when I talk to her. Even when she was giving me advice she still managed to talk down to me as if I was stupid - though in her mind, I probably am.

But the real reason I owe Madison is because of my current surroundings. I'm in Spencer's room, smiling contently as I take in her familiar setting. The picture that she's convinced is haunted is, once again, on her nightstand. You know, the one of her in braces. Her cute comforter is made up nicely on her bed, and I have the random urge run and dive onto it, just to mess it up.

"What are you smiling at?" Spencer asks me with amusement, a cute smile on her face.

I blush at my childish thoughts. "Nothing."

She raises her eyebrows doubtfully. "Oh really?"

I smile wider as she steps closer to me, and I feel my pulse race. I can't help but submit. "I was just picturing myself running and diving onto your bed," I admit with more than a little embarrassment.

She smiles again and looks from me to her bed. "Ashley," she says in a soft tone.

I look at her. "Yeah?"

She shakes her head and laughs, walking over to her nightstand and putting the picture face down again.

"Spencer?" I call out questioningly. I want to know what she has to say.

She ignores me, and I can see her smug smile as she turns away. I walk over to where she's standing, giving her a nudge with my elbow. "What were you going to say?"

She's still wearing a smile as she turns towards me, but this ones different. Softer. "You know, I really hate that picture."

I roll my eyes, letting her see my smile. I know that's not what she was going to say, and even though I'm slightly frustrated, I can't help but laugh at her. "It's not that bad," I offer nicely. It's not ugly or anything, it's just...completely different from the Spencer standing in front of me.

She looks at me doubtfully. "I had a perm and braces," she tells me pointedly. She lifts up the picture again, cringing slightly before quickly putting it back down.

I do my best to stifle a laugh. "It magically shows up on your nightstand each time. I think it could be a sign from God," I tell her seriously. "Maybe he's telling you something."

"What, that this is the worst picture of me ever?"

This time I can't hold back that laugh. I try to hide it as she pretends to be offended.

"It's okay to laugh." She takes the picture and throws it into her hamper, making sure to pile more clothes on top. "I hardly cry myself to sleep over it anymore."

I let her see my eye roll. "Dramatic much?"

She pretends to wipe tears away. "I was thinking more of traumatic."

"Hey, don't even. Remember Mr. Snuggles?"

"You're right! How selfish of me." She walks over and squeezes my shoulder gently. "Do you..." She steps away, looking down and scuffing her foot on her carpet. "...want my braces picture?"

I sniff loudly, making a dramatic gesture of wiping my nose. "Do you mean it?" I whisper brokenly.

"Uh huh," she says in a kid voice.

We hold gazes for a moment before we both start laughing. It's always enjoyable finding some one who not only puts up with your stupidity, but also joins in.

I'm saddened as it reminds me of times with Aiden. Even though I know he has a right to be mad, I can't help but feel like it's up to him to make things right. But maybe he's made his decision. Or maybe I've subconsciously made mine and am just hoping he's come to one.

I can't help but feel that I got the better end of the deal, no matter what he's decided.

"You know you don't have to stay for dinner," she tells me gently, slowly bringing my attention back to hers.

I guess she doesn't like it when we don't talk either. It makes me smile. Not that we have to talk, but she obviously could tell something is bothering me, and this is her way of changing the subject. I'm amazed at how well she can read me.

Mr. Carlin - or Papa C as I jokingly called him in front of Spencer - asked me to come over to the house for an early Sunday dinner. He said it's the least he could do since I went to church. I didn't know how to take his response until I saw the twinkle in his kind eyes.

"Do you not want me to?" I avoid her eyes, hating how my voice comes out timid.

"No, no, I do!" she assures me quickly, shaking her head at her outburst. I offer her a smile.

"Well I want to, too." My voice is oddly formal.

"Ok, good," she says, mimicking my tone.

"Yeah."

"Good," she says again, looking at me.

"It's swell," I add.

"Marvelous." She's biting back a smile.

There's a lull in our conversation, and I take this time to dive on her bed, barely hearing her muffled laughter.

"You're such a dork," she tells me as she sits at the end of the bed.

I pretend to act offended. "I am not a-" I cut myself and smile slyly as something catches my eye.

I promptly stand up and walk to her closet, grabbing the object. I hold it behind my back and make my way back to her, sitting back on her bed.

"Hey Spencer," I say casually, switching it between my hands.

"Yeah?" she asks cautiously, trying to sneak a peak behind my back.

"Cute Rubik's cube."

I watch in enjoyment as her face immediately reddens. She reaches out to snatch it from me but I'm too quick. "Oh look, and it's completed," I tease.

"Give it back," she demands, reaching out again, only to be foiled again. "Please?" Her lips turn in an impressive pout.

"Why? Afraid I'm going-" I pause for dramatic effect "- mess it up?"

She bites her lip and looks away. "No," she mutters. "I just...it's Glen's and I hid it..because...because he stole my cell phone and I...forgot about it..."

"Yes, of course," I agree easily, happily wearing a smug look of my own.

I stare at the cube for a moment before I begin randomly twisting and rotating it as best as I can. Once I'm satisfied with the result, I start trying to get a side down.

Spencer watches me with interest as I struggle with it. "Now turn this part-" she cuts off at the glare I give her, smiling at me.

I swat her hand away. "I've got it." I turn another side. "And then I twist this side and it should...ugh you little fucker!"

I throw it hard against her pillow, feeling pleased as it bounces onto the floor. I give a defeated sigh and lay on my stomach, muttering to myself about how she owns the one Rubik's cube that can't be solved.

She laughs and retrieves it off of the floor. "They can all be solved, Ashley."

I scoff. "Yeah, by super Asian geniuses who have nothing better to do than dedicate years to learning stupid, pointless stuff like how to solve a fucking toy."

She laughs again. "I think some one might be a little bitter."

"No," I huff indignantly, "I just don't think it's very economical to spend so much time on it when we could be dedicating time to solving world hunger."

"That's very ambitious of you," she says with a smile. She kneels in front of me on the floor, holding the rubik's cube up to my face. "It's really not that hard."

"Yeah, if you're-"

"And not just if you're a super Asian genius," she supplies for me. I can't help but smile.

"Can you really solve it?" I'm not sure whether to sound impressed or disgusted.

"I can," she affirms with a nod. "It's just a bunch of little steps. Once you have it down, it's simple. Here," she says and she pats a space closer to her, "I'll teach you."

I shift until my elbows are resting at the edge of the bed, watching her with interest. "I am your grasshoppa," I say in a butchered Chinese accent.

She bows to me, taking a big breath. "Ok grasshoppa." I smile. "First you have to pick a color to go at the bottom. I normally choose white." I nod eagerly. "Then you focus on getting crosses."

She starts twisting, giving directions with each move she makes. I feel a little bad that I've tuned her out. Honestly, she lost me after she said to choose a color, because they only color I am thinking of is blue. And that's just because I'm staring at her eyes.

She doesn't even notice I'm not listening. I'm doing a good job of nodding and murmuring "Mmhmm," and even if I wasn't, she's so focused on what she's doing. I smile at her intent concentration, but it quickly drops as I finally take in how close she is.

She's probably about a foot from me, but with me laying down, she's level with me, and I'm watching her lips move as she calls out directions. It's enticing me, calling out to me with each brush her lips make with each other. I watch as she bites her lower lip gently, obvious stuck on a part.

"This part is always a little-" she stops as she lifts her eyes to meet me, finally noticing I'm not the least bit focused on that stupid cube anymore. As if I could be when she's in the room.

She licks her lips, and my gaze is drawn to her mouth even more. "Um..." I flick my gaze back up to her, watching as her eyes close slowly before opening with what looks like much effort.

"Spencer, I..." I shake my head. For once, I don't want words. I know that all they'll do is cause me to stall.

The moment is heavy, and I feel like each action is so weighed down, that any wrong move will cause it to crash around us.

I slowly, cautiously, move my head forward, taking in her reaction as I reach my hand out towards her. We both close our eyes as I make contact with her smooth cheek, gently caressing the perfect patch of skin.

And I was right, this moment is heavy. Because I've never initiated any of our kisses. I might have been a willing participant, but never have I given in, and it feels so good to finally surrender - completely - to Spencer.

My other hand rests on her other cheek, softly cradling her face and angling it up to me. I can already feel our breaths quicken as we anxiously wait for the moment they can be joined with each other, creating our own air.

Then my lips have brushed against hers, and all the sensations humming through my body seem to explode with that light contact. I feel a low sigh escape me, and she leans forward, pressing harder against me.

And with that one simple touch, I already know that this kiss is a hundred times better than the other two, because this one is devoid of everything that's not Spencer. There isn't an internal clock ticking in our minds. There isn't a devil and an angel resting on each shoulder, giving me contradicting directions. And there's no Aiden, and I don't think I've ever been grateful of that until now.

My elbows begin to hurt from holding myself up, and even though I'm afraid of breaking the kiss for fear that we might shake out of this moment, I know I need to get in a better position. Spencer's eyes are still closed, and I take this time to trace my tongue over my lips, taking in her taste and smiling.

When her eyes meet mine, I can see her unsureness. Every time we've stopped kissing, something bad has happened, whether it's been me running or Aiden interrupting. This time though, I'll make sure there is nothing capable of stopping us from connecting again.

She opens her mouth to speak, but I shake my head with a smile, cutting off any words. I shift until I'm sitting on the edge of the bed, my right hand grabbing her left and squeezing it softly, giving her a strong, silent message of reassurance. And then my left hand is once again framing her face as I guide her back to me.

There's no hesitancy with this kiss, both of us past that stage, at least for now. I can already feel the hot tingles surge through my body, and when she traces her tongue against my bottom lip, I swear I shiver. My hand drops hers and finds purchase on the hem of her shirt, absently stroking the warm skin I know is hidden underneath, as I finally bring my tongue to meet hers.

Spencer releases a broken pant into my mouth, and all I can do is press against her, my body aching for more contact. Our tongues continue their elegant dance, mouths separating for mere milliseconds before they gravitate towards each other again.

I desperately want my mouth to taste other areas, but I know at this point I won't be able to handle anything more. Just being joined with her lips is enough to engulf me, sending my pulse racing and blood pounding to my ears as it conveys a message that's very loud and clear, one I usually have no problem listening to.

It's that voice that draws me to pull away, because Spencer is so much more to me than that. And partially because I truly believe that anything more than this would kill me - in the best way possible.

We separate with harsh breathing and tingling lips, my hand still gently rubbing her hip. I smile stupidly as she leans forward and rests her forehead on mine, chest rising and falling quickly as she tries to steady her breathing.

I could care less about regulating my breathing, I know eventually it will steady. But the taste of her on my lips...I know that that's an endless flavor, the taste of forever.

She leans back from me, and her darkened eyes are gazing back at me with so much emotion, that I want to kiss her, simply so I don't have to look at all the conflicting thoughts swirling around. I know that she's scared. I comfort her the only way I know how.

I lean towards her again, and she closes her eyes and sighs, though whether in defeat or anticipation, I'm not sure. I press my lips to her forehead, letting them rest there for a moment before giving her a soft kiss and pulling back.

She stands up and sits beside me, both of us silent. It's not awkward, and I'm thankful that we don't have to say anything, especially after something as monumental as this kiss. I don't think I've ever been so happy, sitting next to Spencer, feeling her side touching mine and her hand resting lightly on my thigh.

"Hey Spence?" I say suddenly, a little surprised myself at breaking the silence.

She gives me a warm smile as she regards me. It's the first time I've intentionally called her that, and its significance is not lost on either of us.

"Yeah?" she asks softly.

"I think..." I take my hand and lay it on top of hers, interlocking them tightly. "I think I really like the Rubik's cube."

Her eyes close as she laughs, and when they open, they focus on me, looking brighter and bluer than I've ever seen. "I think I do too."