PREVIOUSLY:
The letter.
The letter sent to him some months ago, something he still had yet to read. It was kept untouched in his room in this house he rarely visited. The letter he was afraid to face—
The letter from his brother.
Hinata was at the foot of the stairs, recalling the time she had conversed with Sakura in the same place, when suddenly—
Crash!
Rushing up the stairs, she went to the open doorway that a bright light shone from. Shattered pieces of a lamp littered the plain room on one side. Other sorts of belongings were strewn around elsewhere, making the room a mess. Hinata couldn't tell whether this room had been vandalized or whether the mess was Sasuke's doing, seeing as how he was emptying drawers, swiping frames off the nightstands, tearing the bed sheets off the bed and checking beneath the furniture.
Sasuke didn't seem to notice her in his desperate search for something. Perturbed, he boiled at the thought that the letter his brother sent him, the letter he never read, was taken from him. What he never knew, he may never know.
He slammed his fist into the wall before snarling, "Damn it!"
"What's wrong?" Hinata asked fretfully.
Ignoring the pain in his hand, he continued to search for the letter, though in vain.
"Sasuke?" she tried again, but he gave her no reaction. To get his attention, she stepped toward him—albeit hesitantly—as she said, "What are you lookin—"
Her heel crunched something, stopping her in her tracks. After she stepped off it, she picked it up. It was a folded piece of paper that read Sasuke's name in neat handwriting. Before she could do anything with it, Sasuke abruptly came and grabbed it from her.
Relief poured through him at the discovery of his letter. Leaving his room behind, he entered another that was more or less untouched. The setting not chaotic anymore, he sat on the wide bed and stared hard at the letter in his hands.
Hinata had followed him a minute after, stopping at the doorway. She watched Sasuke as his eyes scanned the contents of the paper. Seeing him in deep concentration, she waited silently, her eyes wandering around the room as she did so. Frames filled with familial pictures decorated various places. She guessed this elegant-looking room belonged to his parents.
Glancing at Sasuke, she stepped inside and turned to a dresser to look closer at the framed pictures. One displayed a young boy holding a small baby in his arms. The features of the boy looked similar to Sasuke's, but were slightly different. Another picture portrayed a family portrait: a stern man, a kind-looking mother, a teenage boy and his younger brother smiling beside him. Hinata could recognize that the younger boy was Sasuke. His genuine smile was captivating, it being such a foreign sight nowadays.
The next picture her eyes fell upon was a wedding photo encased in a glass frame. She took it in her hands and looked at it mournfully. This happy couple, who must be Sasuke's parents, were gone. Taking a peek at the back of the frame as if looking for a date, she found instead the names of the two people written in pretty penmanship and enclosed in a heart.
Her head tilted slightly in reading the faintly familiar names. 'Fugaku & Mikoto Uchiha.'
Fugaku and Mikoto Uchiha…
Oh! Fugaku and Mikoto Uchiha!
So that grave… and that flower…
Suddenly she heard the crumpling of paper and whipped her head quickly to see Sasuke throwing the letter aside. Her chest tightened and she froze, as if he were to see her doing something she shouldn't be doing, but Sasuke stormed out of the room without even looking her way. He was irate and needed to let off steam.
"Sasuke?" she called, but he was already gone. She looked back at the crumpled letter. That letter was what he was desperately searching for earlier, and yet, its contents made him angry. Why?
Setting the frame back to where it originally stood, she stepped over to the new object of interest and picked it up. This letter was none of her business she knew, but she didn't like how it made Sasuke angry. She simply wanted to know who was responsible. So, flattening the creases, she glanced at the bottom of the paper.
Sasuke had left his mansion with the intention of getting fresh air as he tried to figure out how to comprehend the information he had just read. But when he saw flashing cameras camped outside behind the wall that separated his mansion home from the public street, he lost his self-control.
This life, his career, it was too boring. These fans that lived in their fantasies and these cameramen who took pleasure in harassing celebrities, taking every inch of their private life for their own profit—Sasuke wanted none of it anymore.
So, to the closest paparazzo, he displayed what rage he held within himself. The poor man never saw it coming as Sasuke forced the camera away from the man's face to plant a fist in his eye.
"Brother, let's go outside and play!" a young Sasuke had said after he had opened the door to his elder brother's room.
Without turning around, Itachi—whom Sasuke had always admired and was once close to—replied, "I can't, Sasuke. I have homework." His eyes remained focused on the paperwork on his desk, his back facing his little brother.
Said boy frowned, "But you always have homework."
Smiling, he had turned in his chair to face the pouting boy, who had stood dejected in the doorframe, a soccer ball between his small hands. "I'm sorry, Sasuke. Another time."
A knee met the man's stomach. When the paparazzo reeled over and held himself, knuckles met jaw and the man stumbled back. He was down. The paparazzo's camera hit the pavement hard—pieces of the body fell off and the lens cracked.
Sasuke had been found hiding in a closet in his family's mansion home three days after the sudden deaths of his father, mother and brother. When he had heard loud banging on his front door, he ran in fear. Upon learning it was just the police, he thought his family had finally come back for him.
"I'm sorry, son," a melancholic man in a blue uniform told him at the police station. The man was recognizable because he worked under Sasuke's father. "It seems your family is… gone." He said slowly, regretfully, "They're not coming back."
Sasuke sat motionless in his chair. He wasn't stupid. These people talked to him like he couldn't handle the reality of the situation. A young boy was suddenly alone in the world because his family was burned to the ground in their car by a random fire. It had been all over the news. The only way they identified the casualties was from anything left of the car firefighters had managed to salvage.
Sasuke was on his knees over the paparazzo now. Taking the poor man's collar, he dealt blow after blow to the man's bony face. The paparazzo tried to defend himself at first but his arms eventually gave way. The pain from Sasuke's wrath was too great. Barely a handful of punches hit him until he was knocked out cold.
The letter had haunted him.
After Orochimaru's party, Sasuke had driven to his apartment despite alcohol controlling his system. That letter he had received just prior to the event yelled its presence from his kitchen counter. Knowing whom it was from, he couldn't rip it apart nor shred it up. He couldn't burn it to ashes.
But he couldn't read it either. Not now. He didn't want to. So Sasuke called his ex-girlfriend and invited her to stay with him at his mansion, where he decided he'd visit once again. The letter would go with him, to be stowed away in the family home for good, a place he didn't visit often.
How lonely it felt to be in such a large, empty place. That dark, quiet building held nothing. It was an empty shell of a house. But he couldn't sell it. Even if he didn't use it often, it was his family's home and it was to stay that way.
Foreign hands tried to grab Sasuke's arms or hold him back but Sasuke doggedly kept pushing them away to stay in place. All he could see was red, the same color that covered his fists.
"I'm sorry, Sasuke," it had read. "This will be the only letter I will ever write you."
Had it not been for the idiots that broke into his home, he would've forgotten all about the fucking letter.
"I wanted you to live your life the way you wanted, without the past holding you back, without the knowledge of my existence haunting your every move. Now you know, but don't look for me."
This person, his brother, claimed he had only wanted to protect him. Pathetic. He left him in utter abandonment.
"Even if you hate me for what I've done, that's what big brothers are for.
No matter what, I will always love you."
Why? Why now? Why couldn't he look for him?
"S—Stop! Sasuke!" came Hinata's desperate voice.
His fist froze in midair. Then he turned his head in the direction he heard her. Hinata stood a few feet away, panting. He noted her frightened eyes, watching him as if he were a monster.
Next thing he knew, he was shoved off the bloodied victim and pushed to the ground. A few from the clutter of paparazzi had taken the opportunity to hold the enraged Uchiha away from the wounded body lying motionless on the floor. The rest continued to photograph and film the entire assault.
Everything seemed to happen too quickly, like flashes, and Sasuke still couldn't make up all of what was happening around him even as he began to struggle against these strangers wrestling him for control. The red disappeared from his eyes and pain was felt on his bruised fists. He had had enough. He wanted no more of this.
The paparazzi were feeding on his current mental break like hungry vultures. The Sasuke Uchiha had finally cracked. That was probably what ran through their heads and what was going to be the title of magazines and newspapers. "Famous actor, who has been known to be cool and composed, could hold himself no longer."
"Sasuke!"
Again, her voice. Sasuke stopped struggling, his chest on the ground as two men pinned him down. He relaxed, his breaths heavy and his body weary.
"We won't let you go until you've calmed the fuck down," said one of the men on top of him.
"Get—off—me," he said deadly.
"You done beating people up to a bloody pulp?"
His teeth clenched, "Yes."
Hesitantly, the men released him. Sasuke had no intention of fighting any longer. When the flames had been extinguished, all his energy had been drained. No, now he felt differently.
He staggered momentarily to the wall that separated the mansion from the sidewalk, slumped his back against it, and slid down to rest on the ground. His arms propped on his knees, his eyes were cast down as he once again tried to understand his brother.
Because of him, his parents had such a fate. Why couldn't he have been in the car with his family that night? At least then he wouldn't have had to live so alone.
The persistent flashes of white took him away from his thoughts and he glared harshly up at the vultures that continued preying on him. His features softened when Hinata suddenly approached him, kneeling down between his open legs. Locked with his, her eyes were unwavering. They no longer confused him with a monster.
Gently, she took his face in her hands, her actions trying to tell him what she didn't know how to say. When her thumb caressed his cheek, she felt his jaw clench, and the next thing he knew, she embraced him. He slowly lifted his hands to hold her back, but upon seeing them bloodstained, he stopped.
It was not a moment later when sirens were heard and the police had come to collect Sasuke and tend to the injured photographer.
"Sasuke Uchiha," said one police officer. "Stand up."
He attempted to, but couldn't. Hinata was still holding him tightly.
"Hinata," he said, her loose strands brushing his lips.
She shook her head slightly.
"Miss," said a female officer, touching her shoulder, "we need you to let go."
Her chest hurt. "They're," she whispered to Sasuke, "going to take you away from me." It wasn't that she wanted to keep him from the police. She just wanted him to reassure her that everything was going to be okay.
"I'll be out soon," was all he told her nonchalantly.
"Miss," said the officer more sternly, her hand still holding Hinata's shoulder.
Hinata finally let him go, but not before she blinked away the tears that glistened in her eyes.
Helped by the police, Sasuke stood up.
"Sasuke Uchiha, you are under arrest..."
It was alleged that Sasuke had cried in the police car as he was taken to the station, but it was hard to tell, for Sasuke's head was down and his long bangs covered his face the entire ride over.
Before he knew it, he was getting his mug shots taken. The tedious booking process took quite some time, and when it was finally over with, he was granted a phone call. He spared no hesitation, knowing ahead of time whom he would be calling.
As he sat for another long hour in a cell, his elbows on his legs and his hands holding his head, a familiar voice caught his attention.
"So it has finally come to this," said Kakashi, who seemed unfazed at the sight before him. "I'm only surprised it wasn't for DUI charges."
Sasuke was too exhausted to glare back at the man. He stood up as a police officer opened his cell. After he was released on bail and reminded that his court date was to be scheduled some time next month, the agent and the actor left the precinct.
"So," Kakashi started, the two in his car and on the road, "are you going to tell me what happened?" Sasuke remained silent. Guess that's a no, he knew already.
He peeked at the passenger's side. Sasuke's seat was reclined and his eyes were closed, reminiscent of the times when Sasuke was a teenager. The boy used to habitually rest like that whenever Kakashi drove him to acting gigs or other places.
Days passed, and no correspondence had been made between Hinata and Sasuke. It wasn't because Hinata didn't make an effort. She had tried calling him twice or three times but he just never picked up. And when Vogue released its December issue, her schedule permitted her very little time to think or do anything other than her job. No response from him worried her, but she was too distracted from her feelings to do anything about it.
Having been branded "Model at the Moment" by the most influential fashion magazine in the world, interest in Hinata skyrocketed within the coming days of the magazine's release. She finally had received recognition in the fashion industry and was ever closer to supermodel stardom. A variety of reputable designers were asking for her, longer contracts were being made, and her rate of pay increased. One of the big names she managed to sign with was CoverGirl Cosmetics.
That's what was happening in the modeling world. Out in the celebrity spectrum, the spotlight had returned to shine on her due to the major news regarding Sasuke. With the actor nowhere to be found, paparazzi went for the next best thing, flooding Hinata with questions about what had exactly happened that night and why. Hinata wouldn't give them any answers of course.
Her silence only fueled the fire. New rumors were made: Sasuke was under the influence that night and he had been planning on retiring from the entertainment industry altogether. Even worse was the rumor that Hinata was the reason why he would be leaving.
As an A-list celebrity—hugely popular and the epitome of stardom—Sasuke's supporters couldn't believe it and his fans wouldn't accept it. Some responded by spatting abuse at Hinata. Most continued their blind support for Sasuke, hoping he would come out from isolation soon. The rumor over his quitting acting was believable because Sasuke had taken a temporary hiatus and focused on the modeling industry, where he met Hinata, all having fallen apart after that...
"Damn it, Sasuke," said an exasperated Naruto to his brooding friend, who was sitting on the couch, a beer in his hand, whilst he himself was standing. Their conversation had been going in circles for some time now. "This is the first time I've seen you in weeks. Why won't you tell me what's up already? You can't hide here forever! People are making up shit and you gotta set it straight!"
"I told you I don't give a fuck about what others say."
"Even if it involves Hinata? Shit, Sasuke, get over it!"
"Shut up, Naruto."
"You're losing your career! You know that movie Fight Club? You know that role that was made for you? Kakashi told me they're giving it to me now. Your sissy fit's losing you jobs."
Such a circumstance would be a blow to any actor, but Sasuke seemed unfazed. I would've turned it down anyway, he told himself, taking the last swig of his beer. "It's too boring," he mumbled, setting the empty bottle on the coffee table in front of him.
Everything was the same old thing: acting, publicity stunts, TV interviews, photo shoots, award ceremonies, etcetera. A cycle every year. He was an actor because he was talented at it. He made easy money. Yet for some time now, his interest had been waning.
"What is?" Naruto repeated insistently. "What are you talking about? Acting?" Watching him casually shrug his shoulders, Naruto's eyebrows lifted upon realizing his claim. A tough profession in a tough world, Sasuke claimed acting to be "boring?" Was he really considering leaving? Turning around, Naruto said, "I give up," as he headed toward the front door. "You win." But it wasn't that he had no more determination to help his friend. Rather, he decided to call for reinforcements.
She was in the middle of a photo shoot for CoverGirl when Naruto called, offering to take her to see Sasuke. Unfortunately, she couldn't take up his offer until she completed her shoot—which wouldn't be until late.
"That's nothing to worry about," Naruto reassured her. "I'll pick you up when you're done. When does it end and where do I meet you?"
It was past midnight by the time she finally finished her long, exhausting day. Naruto picked her up from her location and waved away her apologies.
On the drive over to Sasuke's apartment, he recalled his earlier visit with the man in question, "I tried getting him out of the apartment but he's not budging. It's one thing when you want alone time, but when you start losing acting gigs? I mean can you believe what he said? It's like he lost his heart for the business. It's the career that gives him his luxurious lifestyle! Why the hell would he want to give that up?" When Naruto was coming up to the apartment complex, he told Hinata, "Good luck trying to get him outta there." Then he leaned forward, "Hey, is that him?"
Hinata followed his line of sight to find Sasuke standing outside his building, smoking a cigarette. Even though he was down the street, she could tell it was him.
"Well, at least we know he's still awake," Naruto said. After parking the car some distance away so that Sasuke wouldn't see him, Hinata got out. She said, "Goodnight," and he said, "See you later," before she made her way to Sasuke.
Tentatively, she approached him. This was the first time she had seen him in a while. With no contact from his side, she felt a little nervous to confront him. There was reason behind his isolation, she knew, but still…
Her heels were loud enough in the silence of the night to be heard by him, but he made no turn of the head to look at her. Instead, his eyes seemed fixed on the cement ground in front of him. One arm was tucked warmly in his pocket as the other lowered his cigarette. His lips blew out a gray cloud. Although appearing casual, he didn't look very welcoming.
Finally, when she stopped only a few feet away from him, he gave Hinata a quick glance. Throwing the cigarette to the floor, he crushed it with his foot. Then, without indicating anything to her, he turned to head back inside.
A moment passed before she followed after him. When they reached his door, he whipped around and faced her, causing her to flinch slightly. In better lighting, she noted his disheveled appearance.
His eyes watched her with indifference. "What do you want?"
She was taken aback. He spoke to her as if she had no reason to see him. A flood of emotions rushed through her; concern for Sasuke, weariness and stress from her job, and now, something else yet to be identified caused her hand to raise and—
It took her a moment to realize what she had done. And when she acknowledged that she had slapped him, she recoiled and held her sinful hand to her chest. So that newfound feeling was anger…
"You're wasting your talents," she blurted. Then, lowering her eyes to his chest, she said more softly, "You're better than this."
Silence passed, and in hearing no reply, she glanced up at him. His bangs hid his eyes. Just as she was about to apologize for her misconduct, he turned away, unlocked his door and entered his apartment. The door still wide open, it took Hinata a moment to realize he was allowing her to come inside.
So, she did, closing the door behind her and standing by it, hesitant to step any further. Watching Sasuke carefully, who now held a glass in his hand, she quietly observed him drink down a shot of hard liquor in one go. He then set the now empty glass down on the kitchen counter and began pacing around the living room.
After a prolonged silence, he said under his breath, "It's annoying."
She blinked, her eyes still following him. "What is?"
Sasuke passed a hand through his hair, exhaling. Stopping mid-stride, he was buying time for the drink to kick in, saying nothing for a few moments before pacing again.
"He thinks he can just send me a fucking letter like it's nothing. Not even see me. And I can't fucking look for him because there's nowhere to start. What kind of older brother would—" When he turned his head and met her gaze, he stopped. Then he looked away and continued to pace. "This is my business and mine alone. I don't need anyone else meddling in my fucking personal life." Stopping again, he looked toward the large window in the living room. Why did he think it was okay? he thought. He was supposed to be dead. Why couldn't he have just stayed dead. His older brother, somewhere out there, was alive and well. Old wounds had been reopened, yet Itachi wouldn't allow Sasuke closure by speaking to him.
Hinata could see his heart was heavy, and it made hers feel heavy too. His solemn expression at the angle she was seeing it wasn't enough to mask the pain, and even sadness, that flashed in his eyes before he squeezed them closed.
Suddenly, he felt her arms around his waist and her face against his back. He placed a hand over hers.
To Be Continued
A/N:
The mug shot picture is linked on my profile page.
I am so sorry for the long wait after a cliffhanger! I wish I had written more but this was all I could do. Hopefully, the next update will come sooner!
Honestly, I found this chapter hard to write (and therefore, it took careful time to edit and a longer time to publish). So please let me know what you think!