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Jax POV
"This could be it, is it what you want Jackie?" Chibs hacked up a cough after taking a puff of a forbidden cigarette. He, Opie, and Miles were all staring at me, anxious for an answer and for knowledge of the club's next move.
I've made a lot of mistakes. I'm not a good man, and won't pretend that I am. But I could be.
I could be the father my kids deserved growing up, I could be a loving husband, and I could be a provider and source of strength in my family.
As of right now, I was not in familiar territory. The president's chair that I once thirsted so badly for was now nothing but a wooden seat. Power was nothing but a false sense of security and with age I've come to really see that family is everything. But the Sons was family.
I looked up and around at Opie, Chibs, and Miles as they continued to wait patiently.
Was I in or out?
I spent all my time in the rig pushing the club as far away as possible, all the while plotting my exit from the club without being seen as a traitor. But Thomas joining, let alone becoming the VP, was a game changer.
Juice was with Anthony and whether oxygen was wasting time in his lungs or not at this point, I don't think anyone cared. Which left 23 year old Thomas in charge.
Nothing shook me to my core more than that fact.
My memories of Thomas consisted of holding his warm, soft baby body close. Light, fuzzy hair that rubbed against my cheek while I burped him and the way he cried in the night before Tara would wake to soothe him. Yet here he was, about to take over the very thing that had been tearing my family apart from the beginning.
"Jax, we need to know what we're putting a vote on. Are we throwing your name in for presidency or Thomas?" Miles gently urged me to make up my mind but the words I wanted to stay were stuck in my throat.
Impatiently, I tapped my fingers onto the oak table before me that displayed the signature reaper. I couldn't imagine that baby boy I held so close, killing anyone. But then again, he did help me bury a body not too long ago.
Which brings that whole deal up. We need the club more than ever for support and cover. It'd be too suspicious if the Teller family upped and left Charming after this body was found.
I pushed my tongue to my cheek and tried not to let my voice shake, "Put my name in."
Opie's eyes widened while Chibs took a disappointed sigh. Miles nodded solemnly and cleared his throat, "Okay. We'll vote tonight at church. 7:00."
I couldn't let Thomas do it alone.
Not anymore.
Abel POV
Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.
My thoughts ran marathons in my mind, one chasing after the other without giving me the time to catch up. Nausea continued to wrack my body but I worked to keep it down as Grace sat patiently across from me.
"You don't have to worry about anything, I'll take care of it." Grace spoke softly to me, as if the tone of her voice mattered right now.
"Take care of what?" I jerked my eyes away from the floor and to her soften, glowing face. She was apparently 4 months along, but she was currently wearing a dress and sweater that camouflaged her well.
"I have a ticket to New York." Grace said coolly.
"New York?" All the air in my lungs escaped.
"I'll be with my mother. She'll help. My dad won't have to know for a while and hopefully when he finds out it'll be when all this…" She looked around my father's living room, "Blows over."
"Over my dead body." I spat, but Grace didn't falter. Her face remained calm and she pulled at the hem of her dress, preparing to give a speech I already knew she had probably rehearsed on the way over here.
"It's for the best Abel. What are you going to do with a baby? You dropped out of school and are in the midst of all this Sons of Anarchy business with your family. You just met up with your Dad and they need you now. Just like my family needs me." Grace stood up to cross the room but I quickly joined her, towering over her and looking down upon her with rage and fear.
"You're about to leave school and up and relocate across the country. This isn't a good time for either of us so quit making me the bad guy." Grace still kept a straight face, causing my anger to continue boiling in my blood.
"Well you're not a good guy." Grace's brown eyes narrowed and I turned to my side and snatched up the cup of coffee from the side table to chuck it across the room. The cold, aged coffee splattered on the soft carpeting while the mug shattered upon contact with the wall. Causing Grace to scream and me to shake with anger.
Red.
All I saw was red.
"What the hell!" My mom charged into the living room back from Jax's bedroom where she had been continuing packing. She looked at the mess and then to Grace and I with a stern look. "I'm not cleaning that up." Was all she said while looking directly at Grace.
I wasn't sure if she was talking about the coffee or me.
With that, she disappeared back into the bedroom, leaving Grace and I in continued silence.
"I had to spend my life without a Dad and it was not fun. I'm not doing that to my kid. And it is just that; my kid." I looked at Grace but she was staring off at the newest decoration courtesy of me.
"I don't know if I want to be with a man in a biker gang. All I know is I want to be with…just, not this." Grace's eyes pooled with tears as she looked up at me. "You have changed so much since your Dad got out and you've been here. I'm at a loss. You told me about our dads a few days after I found out I was pregnant. And here I stand, as the father of my baby throws and breaks something out of anger. What am I supposed to do Abel?"
I shoved my fingers through my hair and closed my eyes for a moment, taking in what all she had said. The shaking returned, but her words made me drop my angry guard. Sadness overwhelmed me at all of my wrongdoings as of late. When I dropped out of school, I wasn't thinking of her or myself. I claim to love her but didn't take her into account.
"You pushed me away. You could've told me earlier and you chose to make this your own secret. You…" I trailed off as tears began to flood my own eyes, "Don't do that again. Please."
Grace had been a few steps away from me but closed the space as she took me into her arms.
This was home.
All of the heartbreak I had been swallowing down and pushing away surfaced as she held me with strength and silence.
Grace would be an excellent mother. She is going to be an excellent mother. And I will be the Dad.
My arms wrapped around her, pulling her as close as possible, letting her know that all the words that were just said didn't matter. As long as she was mine again.
"Don't leave," Escaped from my lips and Grace answered with a kiss on my cheek, "Never again."
"Abel?" Thomas' voice squeaked from the entry of Jax's home. I tried to keep my grip on Grace as I craned my neck to look at him, but she quickly escaped and stood beside me awkwardly.
"Hi Thomas." Grace greeted nervously and Thomas smiled at her before turning more serious as he looked to me.
"What are you doing?" Thomas hissed.
"We were just-" I started but Grace shook her head eagerly. So I sighed before looking back to my brother, "I needed to see her."
"Abel," Thomas started but probably couldn't say what he wanted to in Grace's presence. Emily then entered the room, standing beside him. "Hey! Oh," She looked at Grace in surprise and then back to me, "Hey." She said more flatly.
"I'm Grace." She smiled at the two of them and only Emily's smile seemed sincere in return. Thomas was holding back, unsure of how to react in this situation.
I wanted to explain everything, let them know that things just got a whole lot more complicated; but honestly, I still wasn't even sure if she was actually sticking around.
"You were our waitress when our Dad passed out from the heart attack. Right after he got out." Emily pointed to her in recognition.
Grace nodded and bit her lip, I grabbed her hand to save her from this awkward interaction but she pulled away and smiled up at me. "I better get going, it's close to dinner and I've got to get home. I'll um, see you around."
"Grace—" I started but Thomas and Emily had already parted so she could pass between them.
"See ya!" She called out before rushing out the door.
Thomas continued to stare at me as Emily cleared her throat. "I see something slipped out of your hands?" She motioned to the mess I made and I shrugged before heading to the kitchen to gather supplies to clean up.
There were no paper towels or cleaner under the sink, and I turned to yell for my mom, only to notice my siblings had followed me into the kitchen.
"What?" I snapped. Emily crossed her arms and Thomas shook his head, "I thought we were staying away from Grace."
"We aren't doing anything." I passed by them, already annoyed enough.
"Mom! Where's the cleaner?" I yelled out. "In the box labeled on the stoop!" She answered loudly, before exiting the room once again. This time with a box in her hands.
She followed behind me and we passed Emily and Thomas who only continued to stare. I swung the door open and looked amongst the boxes for some damn 409.
"What was that all about?" My mom mumbled as she placed her box beside the others.
"Give it a rest Mom." I was thisfuckingclose to losing it again, I just wanted to clean up the damn mug and get back to Grace's apartment to speak some more.
"Abel. This isn't safe." Thomas scolded from front door, he was defensively leaned against the door frame and looked down at my mom and me with concern.
I opened my mouth to curse his nosy ass but my mom started before I could, "Leave him be Thomas." She spoke with such sharpness that Thomas couldn't come up with a comeback quick enough before we were back inside.
He trailed behind us with Emily before we all gathered in Jax's bedroom. "Where have you been?" My mom questioned Emily as she had disappeared a little after Grace broke the news to me. She somehow had managed to miss Grace and me standing beside the house, as I got the hose to wash down my puke on the street.
Emily noticeably scrambled for an excuse and right as my mom was about to call her out, Thomas' phone rang. We all looked at him, "Its Dad." With that he exited the room to take the call.
"Emily?" My mom pressed further when her attention returned to my sister's silence.
"I had to go to the uh, shop. Check on some things." Emily didn't make eye contact with our mom and looked to me to save her. "Why was Grace here?" She quickly accused, taking the spotlight off of her.
Dammit Emily.
My mom's harsh eyes then glared at me, "Yes Abel, why?"
I swallowed and then searched for an excuse myself, deciding between a lie and the truth.
"Juice is dead. He's dead." Thomas' shocked voice rang out from the living room just as I was about to spill the beans.
The three of us looked at each other in silent knowing. This was the beginning of something we weren't quite sure of, but we all knew we wanted no part of it. A heavy weight collected in my stomach as I willed myself to go to my brother.
Emily grabbed my mom's hand as we entered the living room that was illuminated by the television.
"Another day, another body. Charming is being struck by recent violence of the deadly kind. One can only imagine what went on to cause this. Serious violence is about to be pictured and viewer discretion is advised." A blonde reporter's suspenseful tone and serious face went out of focus as the image of Juice's bloody and beaten head was placed upon a pitchfork.
There was the nausea again.
None of us moved, not a single breath taken, and I again fought the urge to get sick all over the carpet.
The image quickly disappeared from the screen as the reporter went on to say what they knew, which wasn't much, and Juice's body was not being officially linked to the burnt body that was Michael's.
"Thomas." Was all I could say. We looked at each other and my heart tinged at the terrified look across my little brother's face.
"Someone better clean that up." My mom pulled her hand from Emily's and used it to point at the coffee stain before walking back into the bedroom once again.
"Thomas." Emily copied me, and the three of us stood paralyzed.