Mountain Creek
Jelucan

Grhan felt centered for the first time in days. He sat beside the pool of moving water – a widened area in the mountain creek – and allowed the sun to dry the chilly water from his chest and back. He had practiced his preferred Forms in lightsaber combat and worked on some of his more acrobatic movements until his muscles were so fatigued he was shaking. He was drenched in sweat from head-to-toe. Nothing could have felt sweeter in that moment than lying down and floating on the shallow, freezing water, and that's just what Grhan did.

He knew he needed to get back, but he was enjoying the time alone. It was hard to pull himself away. He grabbed his sweaty tunic and tossed it over his shoulder, then headed up the path. When he passed by the secret hideout, he heard a noise inside. He stepped through the entrance, but the brightness of the sun made it difficult for him to adjust his vision.

"Hello?" There was a pause. He stepped a little further in. "Hello?"

"Grhan? Where have you been?" It was Kendy, and either she had developed a raging head cold or she had been crying.

"Hey, Kendy, what's wrong? Is it Ciena?" Grhan stepped further into the space and his eyes were more focused now. Kendy was sitting in the back corner with her knees bent and a light blanket covering her legs.

"Ciena's fine. Where have you been?" she asked again.

"I meditated and then got some exercise. I was just heading back to the house." He walked over towards the back corner where Kendy sat and only then remembered his lightsaber hilt was hanging from his waist. He wasn't wearing his tunic, so there was no way to hide the weapon.

Kendy wasn't looking at him, though. She was staring at nothing in particular from Grhan's point of view. "Kendy? Please tell me what's wrong." Grhan was sincerely concerned.

"Why?" she asked.

"I don't understand," Grhan said. "Why am I asking or why should you answer?"

"Why should I answer?" Kendy replied.

Grhan stepped a little closer, looking for any opportunity to ditch the lightsaber without drawing attention to it. "May I sit with you?" he asked.

Kendy shrugged, but didn't exactly protest, so Grhan sat a few feet away from her, with the lightsaber hilt on the hip opposite her. He pulled his wet tunic top off his shoulder and smoothly unclipped the hilt from his waist, setting them aside on the ground with the tunic on top.

Kendy wasn't speaking. She clearly had been crying. Grhan felt an ache inside his chest at the sight of her upset like this. He did not like being in the dark regarding why.

"Tell me why you're crying, Kendy," Graham said softly. "That would be a good place to start."

"You don't understand. There's… history. And now I'm feeling more lost than ever."

Grhan nodded. He took a deep breath, and said what he had known since the day they escaped from Jakku. "You're in love with Thane."

Kendy looked up at Grhan, visibly stunned at his words. She said nothing.

"I watched you while he was saying goodbye to Ciena. I saw your face – I… felt your heartache." Grhan was looking down into his lap as he spoke.

"Yes. I had a silly crush on him in school, but so didn't every female cadet with eyes. But, we grew up. We weren't kids anymore. Bad things happened. People we loved died. We both defected and ended up together, and I fell in love with him. And you know what, Grhan, he had feelings for me, too. After he believed Ciena died, he mourned her and followed through with those Valley Kindred rituals, but he wasn't lost in his grief. He moved through it, and at some point – I don't know, maybe six months into the year – he started to laugh again. When I came into a room, he'd come straight to me. He wanted to be near me. We talked about the armband he was wearing that he would remove and burn after a year, and he all but told me he could already move on. He just felt he owed it to her to see it through. I believed he was giving us permission to act on our feelings. Anyone on our Squadron could see that we had a special bond. We spent so much time together. I thought… I thought…"

"He would grow to love you back." Grhan said without any judgment or condemnation in his voice. He said it like it made perfect sense.

"Yes." With the admission, Kendy began sobbing and when Grhan tried to put his hand on her shoulder, she moved away from him. "I know it's hopeless, and I feel dirty and ashamed seeing them together now. But, she was dead. I'm so happy she's not, but for a very long time, I knew what it felt like to be the one Thane wanted to talk to and spend time with. When I was with him I felt like the sun was on my face and I was safe. I miss that so much. I feel so empty inside. In a single moment, I became invisible, and I've been trying to find a way to be seen again. I've done manipulative things to make sure I spend time with Thane – to keep him stationed where I am. Even knowing he would never betray Ciena, I just wanted to be with him so badly." As the words poured out of Kendy, her sobs grew stronger and her speech less clear.

"I love Ciena, Grhan – I would never choose to do or say anything to hurt Ciena. I… I… I just want to stop loving him. I… don't… know how."

Grhan leaned toward Kendy again, this time he reached her opposite shoulder and slid her back toward him. She leaned into him, hear head hanging with her cheek against his chest, crying, while he gently reached down and pulled her hair out of her face and stroked her hair softly.

"You're not wrong, Kendy. You did not set out to hurt anyone. You fell in love with an available man. Maybe emotionally he was inaccessible, but you were not betraying Ciena by seeing the same wonderful things in Thane that she sees. I think you need to accept this before you can move forward. The guilt is causing you to think less of – and expect less of – yourself." Kendy had quieted some. She seemed to be listening.

"You can survive loving Thane as long as you believe that one day, you won't." Kendy looked up at Grhan as if she was waiting for him to say something more. "The hard part is being patient while the love changes. I know you want it to simply stop, but the human condition doesn't allow us the ability to cognitively choose to fall in love or out of love. If it were that easy, it would never be the wonderful, mysterious, passionate experience that makes the journey worth the risk and potential for pain." Kendy had stopped crying and was sitting up, her hands clasped in her lap, nodding quietly as Grhan spoke.

"Grhan?" He looked up at her and nodded. "Have you ever been in love?"

"No. I haven't been so fortunate," he shrugged and smiled. "I look forward to it very, very much, though."

"Why did you kiss me?" There wasn't a lighthearted or playful tone in Kendy's voice. She really wanted to know.

"Hmmm… Well, I could tell you that I have a habit of kissing women during sunsets, or in caves, or when they show me their pink bikini underwear…" he glanced at her and caught the briefest smile before her solemn expression returned. "But I'm afraid it has nothing to do with any of that." Grhan smiled for a moment, and then he took a deep breath and looked at Kendy, directly in her eyes. "The honest truth is that I've sat next to and spent time with many women in my life, but never before has a woman looked at me and made me feel as though I'd do or say anything to know she will look at me that way again and again. It's not just because she is so beautiful, and her smile makes my heart beat a little faster. It's as much because suddenly, for the first time, I saw myself for the man I am – a man who feels desire and passion – because that one woman looked at me."

Kendy sat perfectly still, mesmerized by Grhan's words. She didn't move or look away. When he finished talking, he held her gaze for a moment, then turned his head away to give her the chance to escape any discomfort or awkwardness he made her feel. He was surprised when her hand reached around and turned his face back toward her, and she leaned in and kissed him. For the first few moments, while she kissed him, he barely moved and sat with his hands on the ground. Then he turned his body toward her and placed a hand behind her head, gently pulling her in closer while their kissing became more passionate.

His heart was racing now, and he was losing himself in the moment, so when Kendy began to lean back he followed her down until she was lying beside him, their arms embracing one another. At the center of it all was what he thought had to be the single longest, most intense, passionate and perfect kiss in the history of the Galaxy. Well, for him, anyway.

Grhan suspected it could have gone further – much further – if either of them had made an indication that this was something they were ready for. For now, he thought the moment was exactly what it was meant to be. When they finally began to take a moment to catch their breath, neither of them said a word. They just held each other, both twirling their fingers in the other's hair. When they loosened their embrace and moved apart enough to see their expressions, Kendy just smiled at Grhan and he smiled back.

They both stood – Grhan grabbing his damp tunic with the lightsaber carefully rolled inside. He was going to tell Kendy the truth about who he is. He made that decision the moment he confessed to having feelings for her, and her returning the sentiment in deed - if not in word - set his path in stone. She still loved Thane. He knew this and wasn't bothered by it, because he knew she loved him a little bit less in that moment than she did fifteen minutes before. That is how he would win her heart: one step, one moment, one kiss at a time. And maybe – just maybe – she'll feel a little stronger when she sees him again today.

"Kendy?" Grhan asked as they walked out of the cave.

"Mm-hmm?"

"Did you see me during my workout today?"

"No," she said. Grhan felt a wave of relief. He didn't know what compelled him to ask, other than it struck him that a lightsaber might be visible not far from the cave.

"I did see a Jedi with mad skills doing some major damage to his invisible enemies, though." Kendy barely cracked a smile. It was the most matter-of-fact tone she could have affected. Grhan stopped and turned to face her.

"A Jedi? Huh. I imagine he was pretty awesome. Probably a real turn on for the ladies." Kendy didn't say another word about it. When they got to the Hangar, Grhan said he would be right back. He hopped on board the shuttle and stowed his lightsaber in its hiding place. Kendy was still waiting when he returned. She took his hand in hers and they walked to the house together.