Chapter 21 - My Family Problem Just Turned Even More Complicated
Tokyo, Japan, 16 April 1986
Coming back at home, after going our separate ways as Jiji went to check the construction progress and my mother preparing for dinner, the first thing I checked is Aqua, who still being stone-Aqua inside the furniture storage room. Still secured by a series of ultraviolet searchlights. But before I could say anything to her...
"Hello, great-gran... Ouch!" I suddenly found her scarf roughly entangling my neck before I got unceremoniously thrown out of the room with a flick of her wrist. "Hey! I'm not doing anything wrong dammit!"
Only for her to unceremoniously slammed the door from the inside without she even talks to me at the first place. Geez, it seems that she got a particularly bad case of PMS today, but isn't she already ninety-seven years old? Must have a bad day over something else then.
*SIGH*
"Granny is having a bad mood today after what happened this morning, and she did say that nobody except herself and Papa is permitted to enter the room where Aqua is currently stored," said Darkness, putting her hand on top of my shoulder in a gesture of sympathy. "Not until the workers finished the proper containment room for Aqua."
"Containment room?" I said while scratching my head over that. "Oh well, I remember Jiji said about that, so..."
"Do you want to see it for yourself Jozuma? It only less than half-finished at this state, but the concrete already hardened enough to be walked upon. The construction work there will only be resumed tomorrow as today the workers are working on the main house, so there's nobody down there today," said Darkness with slight glee, and it did pique my curiosity, so I just nod at her offer.
Walking to the backyard, I could see a half-formed hole lined with steel and concrete. Now I am curious about what it looks like from the inside.
"Are we permitted to climb down there?" I said and Darkness just quickly nod at my question.
Inside the covered hole, there seems to be a half-made steel-and-concrete platform accessible from the top, and there lies a ladder going down under for about fifteen meters down. Well, it's rather dizzying, climbing a ladder this tall downward, but as far as things going on, it seems safe enough to climb this down, so...
We make it at the base of what could be described as a half-done basement that lies down at a considerable depth from the surface. I look up and realize that this is not your usual basement, this could be a frickin nuclear-proof bunker!
"Whew! Isn't this too much to contain a Youkai like her? I meant this very deep, 6m x 6m bunker with 1m thick reinforced concrete walls? This is beyond ridiculous!"
"As far as I know this is indeed a bunker, The second bunker built to contain a pillar man in fact, and the design has been proven to be escape-proof once the mirrors and UV floodlights have been installed," Darkness whispers on my ear. "I know I shouldn't tell you about this, but Papa technically only killed three Pillar Men. The first one, Santana, is held at a bunker just like this in Washington DC."
"There's another Pillar Man that still being alive?" I asked while we walked upon the obvious freshly hardened concrete. The wall is still pretty damp, but it already hardened enough to support the long extension ladder we used earlier.
"Papa defeated Santana first, exposed him to the sun and turned him into the stone form. It was said that Santana being originally kept alive just in case either the Nazis use their cyborg tech, or Japanese use their nuclear weapons against US targets."
I rolled my eyes on remembering just how bizarre this world history is. Japan was the one who discovered the nuclear bomb first and used them on Shanghai, Canton, and Nanking. We break the Chinese early on and cause us to never actually fight against the USA during the whole Second World War. Our Empire ends up coming out more or less intact, with Korea and Manchuria staying as our colonies. I don't care about the Koreans and Manchurians anyway, the Kenpeitai seems to be competent enough to keep them from rebelling.
"Wait, why are you telling me about this if you should not tell me at the first place?"
"Because you know my reasons, Jojo," said Darkness as she held my arms in front of her chest and made them touch her pair of fun bags. Normally, I wouldn't mind too much about this kind of gesture coming from other girls, but then...
I just realized that we were essentially alone, since we already climbed down the half-formed bunker, and at fifteen meters underground no one could hear you scream...
Wait, why did we end up here anyway?
This. Is. Not. Good.
ゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴ
"We are now related dammit! Go looking for someone that is not your nephew at the first place!" I said as I yanked my hands out of her grip, but it seems that her strength is as monstrous as ever so... "Wait, Darkness... Don't!"
"Come on, you don't even give me a goodnight kiss like the other members of our family!" whined Darkness as she pulls me closer to her face and her warm breath falls upon my face. "I have read your naughty secrets under the mats, Jozuma..."
"Hey! You shouldn't read my hentai collection under the tatami in the first place! That's a breach of my privacy dammit!"
"But why you read a story about a boy with his aunt, whose title is 'Kirei no Obasan' or something..."
"That's different dammit! Those are fictions! I don't want that to happen in my real life here!" I said while darkness nuzzled her cheeks against mine.
"Come on... I just want a kiss..." Darkness puckered her lips, and it went very awkward with my baser instinct told me to stay and enjoy the show, my mind told me to get out of this as quickly as possible.
"Alright Darkness, I don't want to use this but you forced me!" I summoned Whitesnake at my side, using him to shove Darkness away.
"~Ahhh...~ Who's that Jozuma?" said Darkness while pointing out to Whitesnake, that stood on my side.
"Aren't you supposed to be able to indirectly feel my stand because of Hamon and shits?" I said while using Whitesnake to held Darkness at bay while I climb the ladder back to the garden.
"I used to only feel their presence, but now I see him ~clearly~! ~Oh~! I ~love~ how he looks!"
*BAM*
Whitesnake kicked Darkness at her stomach, and I used the distraction to climb out as fast as possible to avoid being molested by my own aunt. Dammit, why did she still have that kind of feelings, even as we end up becoming blood-related here?
If only Jesus or whoever Gods who placed us here put Darkness not as my own blood-related family, I might be willing to indulge her... But now, it just feels very wrong.
Better run until I met either Jiji or my mother, so Darkness won't have the chance to molest me, seeing that Megumin won't be coming home until late in the afternoon.
...
"Jozuma, who is that?" said my mother as I run into the kitchen.
"Oh dammit Da..." wait, I just realized that she won't elicit this kind of question from my mother, and aside of myself, the only other 'person' present in this room would be Whitesnake, so...
"Wait, you could see Whitesnake too?" I said as I unsummoned Whitesnake from my side.
"And now he's gone!" said my mother, apparently confused with what just happened. "Is he your stand, Jojo?"
"Well, you could really see him?" I summoned Whitesnake, and it was now clear that mom could indeed see Whitesnake as her eyes did move and follow Whitesnake's movements.
"Yes I can see him moving around," said my mother, which is rather weird because she is not supposed to be able to feel him, unlike Darkness and the others who could use Hamon.
I do feel that something is wrong, but maybe that's because Darkness just try to molest me, so...
"Is there anything I could help with the dinner?"
Well, maybe helping my mom in the kitchen will help me avoid being molested by Darkness in the first place. She wouldn't dare to do that in front of my mom, right?
...
"Tadaima..." said someone from outside the door, and I already knew it must be Megumin, but why she ends up sounding like that?
"Oi Megumin!" I said as I put the steamed fish on the table, and her existing frown turned into a smile, but it does seem kind of forced. "What happened, why are you looking like that?"
"Your great-grandmother was very angry this morning," said Megumin as she warily eyed the furniture storage room where great-grandmother (and stone-Aqua) currently resides. "And that was partially your fault, to begin with..."
"What? How could I am at fault when I literally just coming back from America this afternoon?" I said while Megumin's crimson eyes glared at me with some sort of weird looks.
"Last night, Darkness found your perverse books hidden under the tatami, she ends up reading them all night, and her hysteric laugh ends up causing your great-grandmother to come into our room and confiscate all of them. She already burned them all this morning anyway..."
"OH, MY GODS! MY PRECIOUS HENTAI COLLECTION! GONE?!"
"This is your fault of being such trashy pervert at the first place! If only you could take my onii-sama as an example... Instead of those trashy swimsuit posters, there is a copy of Mona Lisa inside his room. Instead, tasteless hentai showing objectification of female body, he decorates his room with classy pictures of hands."
"Well, your brother is truly a saint then..." I sighed in defeat as the humiliation keeps piling up on me. Of course, Yoshikage-san, being the ideal example to us all, could be massively disappointed if he found that I have a secret stash of porn in my room discovered by his little sister. "Just don't tell your brother about this, ok?"
"Of course I won't tell him about that, that was obvious... Oh, hi aunt Seiko..."
ゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴ
My face turns extremely deep red as my mother seems to listen to our conversation all along, but instead of being angry, she seems to only mildly disappoint instead...
"Well... I'm sorry Jojo, I already told granny that as long as it was just a secret stash, that would never be a problem as your father and I already knew about those things under the tatami since you were in middle school. But apparently your great-grandmother insists to burn them all," said my mother awkwardly as she carries a big pot of soup to the table.
It feels hellishly uncomfortable when my own mother ends up joining the conversation concerning my very own 'secret' hentai collection.
"Am I saying something wrong?" said my mother as my face turned extremely pale. "Your father did know about that, but he just told me that those are parts of being a normal boy. He did sound impressed with your efforts putting aside parts of your allowance to buy that many."
Oh, Gods, I knew I got the best parents I could ever bargain for, but why did my hentai collection burn down like they were trash because of a snooping pervert of an aunt.
"Calm down Holly, let me handle this..." I feel someone grab my shoulder and it was none other than Jiji, whose face shows disappointment. "This is something that needs proper man-to-man talk!"
ゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴ
...
And as soon as Jiji drags me to the garden...
"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! PUTTING BOOKS LIKE THAT TO BE DISCOVERED BY YOUR OWN AUNT!"
"IT'S NOT MY FAULT! If only you let me sleep in MY OWN ROOM and for Lalatina to sleep in the living room in the first place!"
"I'm not complaining about how you hide your stash of porn at the first place! But some of them are apparently too close for our comfort!"
Oh yeah, those works titled 'Kirei no Obasan' is indeed too close to comfort when it comes to a certain Lalatina... And the very fact that the language we used on Eris' realm is too close to Japanese, so much that Darkness could apparently understand Japanese that fast.
"That was an old manga dammit! I bought them back then at the middle school before I even know Darkness would be my very own aunt!"
"Well, that can't be helped, but for our sanity's sake, please refrain from buying that kind of stuff!" said Jiji with a touch of finality, and it seems for a foreseeable future, I cannot re-built my painstakingly collected hentai manga collection.
At this point, reporting about how Darkness trying to molest me earlier inside the freshly made bunker might actually cause my great-grandmother to murder me...
Just forget it, at least I still have Whitesnake at my side and Darkness just can't do anything against that... Wait, why did it sounds like I'm the one who wants to molest Darkness instead?
...
Dinner is expectedly awkward and silent today.
Great-grandmother is looking at me with something that could only be reserved to the lowest of trash.
Jiji is mostly silent, but it seems that he has his own problem, as he also keeps his silence most of the time.
My mother could only do an awkward smile all the time, and the talk between everyone is kept at the minimum.
It was because Darkness, of all people, coming all sweaty to the dining table, have the indecency to grin when we first met again across the table. Apparently oblivious that everyone else in the family is very concerned with our inappropriate relationship that is now coming entirely from her direction.
But even Megumin gave me her gaze of disapproval all the time.
Everything is silent, until...
"Uh, Papa, what's that purple thing I just see?" said Darkness to Jiji, even as the latter is confused with what the hell she is talking about.
"Uh, what?" Jiji lifts his arm as Darkness did point out at his left elbow. "Oh, you realized that my left arm is no longer the usual prosthetics?"
At least now we're talking about something else. The mood did end up lightened as Jiji demonstrates how brand new left hand could turn into a pile of sand before returning to become human hand once again, thanks to the stand he got from the little dog Iggy.
"And it could turn into anything I could imagine too!" said Jiji, beaming with pride as his left hand elongated to take a piece of the steamed fish on the opposite side of the table.
"Well Jojo, you give your grandfather a stand?" whispered Megumin.
"Taken from a dog, long story," I said while looking toward Darkness, who apparently still being engrossed poking at Jiji's new arm. "Anyway you do say that you planned to introduce Darkness to your brother, how's that going?"
"We met him completely by accident last Friday when your mother takes us to go sightseeing at the Tokyo Bay. We end up eating Teppanyaki together with onii-sama, but I afraid Darkness did give him the wrong first impression..."
"How so?" I raised my eyebrows at that.
"She got drunk, called onii-sama as an evil demon lord, before asking if he could torture her to fulfill his most debauched desire..." said Megumin way too loud to be a whisper, and of course, this meant...
"WHAAATTT? OHHH MYYY GOOOOOOOOD!" Jiji obviously hears Megumin's words, and everyone's eyes now looking upon Lalatina, who could only look down. "HOOOLLYYY! WHY YOU NEVER TALK ABOUT WHAT LALATINA HAS DONE?!"
Well, at least this day did end up in a rather light-hearted tone, and apparently, Darkness also got the scolding she deserves, even if for another reason altogether.
Megumin did give me a secret wink, and I do realize that she must have suspected something about Darkness all along... Oh well, my family problem just turned even more complicated, but whatever...
I did wonder about what is that purple thing occasionally coming out from Jiji's arm anyway?
ゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴ