I want to thank everyone for your feedback on the last chapter. It's very heartwarming to read all your reviews.

SoFeelingTheLove Beta'd.

I own nothing.

Erin's POV

The pale light of the morning sun streams through my bedroom window, though carrying none of its usual warmth. The air has that chilly bite to it and it will not be too long before I have to bring out my winter coat. The summers are long and hot, while winters are short and extremely cold.

I roll over half-asleep, reaching for Jay and notice that he is gone. The empty side of the old mattress still bears the imprint of his body, but none of his warmth.

With the success of the virus implemented into the Aedes' grid, the whole team is now focused on finding the metaphorical chinks in their armor, specially Jay. He has been working tirelessly day and night. Usually up before dawn and down long after the sun has set. I know taking down the Aedes ensures our safety and our little girl's future, but I'm afraid it might come at a high cost for him. Hank has noticed Jay's overly zealous disposition and has sent him out of the pen on various occasions to clear his mind.

I wrap myself snugly in bed, but the cold air still seeps under the blankets making me shiver. With much effort, I get up and pull on some wool socks and a pair of jeans.

In the last week, I've started to show, just a little, but enough for my jeans to get tight and right now I have to use a rubber band to make my jeans a little more comfortable. I'm not very broad, even a little on the skinny side, so when I start to really show… it'll become visible pretty quickly. Hopefully, if I wear loose-ish shirts I can hide my pregnancy a little while longer.

I hear a sound and when I look back I see Jay standing in my bedroom doorway, looking at me.

"How long have you been standing there?"

"Not long." He comes over and wraps his arms around me from the back, pulling me close.

There is something in his voice that makes me turn to look at him, but his face is hidden behind me.

I lean into him. "What?"

"Nothing. I just like seeing you like this in the morning." His low voice rumbles against my back. Now I recognize the emotion in his voice – it's contained excitement. Jay slides his hands down to the top of my jeans and I squirm in his arms.

"What's this?" He asks, a hint of laughter in his voice.

I laugh. "It's an elastic band to keep my pants closed," I tell him.

He chuckles.

"As you can see," I say turning sideways to highlight the baby bump beneath my tank. "I can't contain it anymore."

There's a forced smile on his lips, but then he blinks and the smile comes back more naturally.

"It's barely noticeable. I look like I had a big meal," I tell him, reading his mind. I've come to accept that worry never leaves his side, but sometimes it graciously retreats to a spot a few feet away. I rise on my toes and kiss him and he returns the affection. We break apart shortly after and he wraps me in a bear hug, the warmness of his touch emanating through me.

"How on earth can you be warm as toast dressed in only a T-shirt?"

"I've got pants on too," he retorts, smiling down at me. We cling together for a bit, enjoying each other's warmth in the quiet cold of the early morning.

"How are you feeling?" he asks.

"I feel good. The morning sickness is pretty much gone."

"That's good."

Jay lets go of me, but holds my hand a little while longer before he steps away. "I have a surprise for you," he says walking out into the hallway. He returns hauling two big boxes.

I look at him with narrowed eyes. "What's this?"

"Open it."

I open one of the boxes and inside I find infant sleepers, dressers, onesies, and caps in the softest cotton in green, yellow, lavender, and cream. I lift a blanket and press it to my cheek. So soft. I continue to dig through the box and find diapers, bottles, bibs, and all sorts of baby items inside. My eyes well up with tears.

"Ruzek and I went back to the superstore and took all the baby items we could find. We also have a few more boxes downstairs."

"Is that why you disappeared on me this morning?"

He nods. "Sorry about that. I wanted to surprise you."

He leans in to kiss me, and I pull him down on the bed, on top of me. We quickly disrobe and I clasp the solid curves of his back, letting my hands cup his bottom. His bare skin is chilled, but the goosebumps smooths away under the warmth of my touch.

He nibbles the edges of my neck and ear, then his head dips lower, and his hand gently spread my thighs apart. I shiver momentarily as the cold air hits the bare skin of my legs, then relax completely into the warm demand of his mouth. His thick hair brushes against my thighs and the solid weight of his body rests comfortably between my legs, broad hands cup on the roundness of my hips.

"Mmmm?" Comes an interrogative sound from below.

I arch my hips slightly in response, and a brief chuckle grazes my skin with warmth.

The hands slides beneath my hips and raises me, and I relax into deliquescence as the tiny shudders grow and spread, rising in seconds to a fulfillment that leaves me limp and gasping. Jay's head rests against my thigh while he waits for me to recover, caressing the slope of my leg, before returning to his self-appointed task of pleasing me once again.

"Wait, Jay…" I say straining upward. "Come, here."

"Not yet," he says doing something with the tip of his tongue that makes me squirm uncontrollably.

"No, Babe… Oh God, come here," I mumble.

He doesn't bother to reply, but his muffled laugh vibrates against my all too sensitive flesh.

"Jay," I say more firmly. "I want you. Come here."

Sighing in resignation, he rises to his knees and lets me pull him upwards, settling with his weight balanced on his elbows, but comfortably solid on top of me, belly to belly and lips to lips.

He opens his mouth to protest – I know he is concerned he might hurt the baby now that she is getting bigger– but I promptly kiss him, and he slides between my thighs before he can stop himself. He moans slightly in involuntarily pleasure as he enters me, muscles tensing as he grips my shoulders.

He is gentle and slow, pausing now and then to kiss me deeply, moving again only at my silent urging. I run my hands softly down the slope of his back, absorbing his warmth. The long muscles of his thigh trembles briefly against my own, but he holds back, unwilling to move as quickly as he needs to.

"I won't break; you know? And the baby is perfectly safe in here," I say smiling into his eyes.

He laughs huskily. "You sure? I keep thinking she doesn't want me to do…that."

"She has no idea."

I move my hips against him, to bring him deeper. He closes his eyes, and his brow furrows slightly in concentration. He draws in a long, ragged breath and leans in to kiss me. Then he's pushing deep inside me again, over and over, in between bouts of kissing my lips, my collarbone, and my breasts. I feel his climax deep inside me and I keeping pushing my hips up until I come myself.

He gathers me close against him, his cheek pressed against my hair. I flip the blankets up and tuck it around his shoulders, sealing us in a pocket of warmth.

We lie quiet for a while, listening to the occasional footsteps in the hallway as everyone stirs to life.

"Jay," I say softly. "Are you still happy about the baby?" I ask because I still see the deep worry set in his eyes.

He is silent for a moment, only hugging me harder, before answering. "Yes." His hand strays downward, gently rubbing my belly. "I'm very happy. And excited. But very anxious too."

I can hardly blame him for his apprehension.

"I want to protect you and that baby." His voice is soft and husky, with a slight catch in it. "And to think of the things that might happen, and me helpless to stop them…" He lets the sentence go unfinished.

"We have eyes on them now. The Aedes will never catch us by surprise," I tell him. I run a hand through his hair, thick and dark against my fingers. "If there's ever any inkling of them coming, we bolt out of here. We'll be miles away before they even cross the divide."

"And where would we go?" He asks. His eyes are the color of summer skies, and the misty blue of distant mountains.

I shrug. "Somewhere where there's a lake. Or we can go east towards the ocean."

I feel his muscles relax.

I rise up on one elbow. "I will build a cabin with my bare hands," I tell him, trying to smooth down the hairs that spiked out over his left ear.

He laughs. Amusement rising in the color of his cheeks. "And I will learn how to cook."

"You'll be my perfect househusband."

"Nothin' wrong with that," he drawls and presses me tight against his chest, kissing my nose, and I hug him back with all my might.

A cabin near the water.

A girl can dream.

x

Later that same day, I head up to the bullpen and see Jay and Hank arguing in Hank's office. I can't see Jay's face, though he seems frustrated, flailing his arms about as he talks. What are they arguing about? The door is slightly ajar, and if I get close enough I might hear snatches of their conversation. I move quickly and hide near Alvin's corner where they can't see me.

Hank says, "That's not – But orders to—"

"I can't just—the next time—"

"Jay—"

I strain to hear what's being said, but I can only hear fragments of their conversation, and what I hear doesn't make any sense. I move to the other side of the pen, careful to stay hidden from view, and enter the little kitchenette area.

"Does Erin know about your plan?" Hank asks.

"I will find a way to tell her."

"What if she doesn't agree with you?"

I hear Jay releasing a big sigh. "She'll understand. It's our best bet."

"This is dangerous," Hank says. "We don't even know if she's there."

She who? There where?

"It's the only way. For all we know she is out there finding the highest bidder for the information."

I hear Hank grunt in agreement. There's a beat of silence before Hank asks, "Does Erin know about the cord blood? Did Natalie tell her?"

"No. She doesn't know."

Cord blood?

"Maybe you should start there," Hank advises.

"The last thing I want is for Erin to have one more thing to worry about."

"Do you want to keep her in the dark?"

"For now," Jay says.

I sense that their conversation is nearing its end. I have to leave before they find me here. I tip toe out of the pen with my heat hammering against my ribs. I feel anger boiling in my chest, like a pot of soup on a flame that's too high. They have no right to keep me in the dark. No right at all.

I walk down the hall towards the infirmary. I burst inside startling - borderline frightening - some of the nurses. "Where's Nat-Dr. Manning?" I ask.

I few nurses scurry about and I smooth my hair and attempt to keep my composure. Soon enough Natalie rushes out from somewhere out back.

"Erin, everything okay?"

I nod. I feel the stirrings of frustration and indignation in my belly, and I do everything in my power to keep them form showing on my face. "Can we talk in private?"

Natalie nods. "Of course. This way."

I follow her down the infirmary hall until she finds an empty room. "What's going on? Did something happen?"

I hesitate. "Tell me about the cord blood."

Natalie is immediately taken aback by my request. I watch her think for a moment before she looks at me with a hint of reluctance. She's about to say something, but when she opens her mouth nothing comes out.

"I know you told Jay, and I deserve to know too."

"Of course." She paces before she sits on a stool, takes a deep breath, and says in a normal cadence. "Do you remember what I did before Hank found me?"

I nod. "You were a doctor in the city."

Natalie nods. "That's right. But I also did a lot of research through the medical institute." She hesitates before she adds, "Geared towards finding a permanent treatment for the viral pandemic."

"I thought all treatment options had been exhausted," I say.

Natalie nods. "This was off the books. No one knew what we were doing."

"Did you find a cure?" I ask ironically, and to my surprise she nods. "W-What…? Really?"

"Yes. It is possible to engineer a therapeutic serum from stem cells of Typo O donors."

"Wha.…" I can't handle it and my anger flares up again. "You knew about this and never said anything? We could've had an antidote this whole time and you kept quiet?"

"It's not that simple—"

"—It is that simple. You knew Jay was a donor. You could've—"

"—The serum can't be made from adult stem cells," she interjects. "It has to be embryonic stem cells."

"Wait…" My heart pounds, my breathing is heavy, my mouth is dry, and my hands shake. "You don't mean to take from…" I breathe, folding my arms protectively over my stomach. "You can't take cell from my—"

"No," she shakes her head. "No, no. Not from the baby. From the umbilical cord."

I pause, quietly digesting the information and processing what this means. "So, you can make this serum using the cells from the umbilical cord?"

Natalie nods, her eyes wide and bright, hope burning within them.

"And the city knows this is possible?"

Natalie nods again.

I don't understand. "Why haven't they done it?"

"When we figured this out…" Natalie lowers her voice and glances around as though someone is lurking behind her. "…the Aedes shut the whole program down. Most of my colleagues who headed the project mysteriously disappeared shortly after. That's when I decided to escape. I knew they would come for me eventually."

"Why would they—" As I begin to formulate the question, I'm hit straight in the gut with the answer. "A cure means they lose control. Blood is their currency."

Natalie nods sadly. "Yes."

I suddenly feel heavy. It is almost like I have a weight on my shoulders, and I'm starting to feel it get heavier and heavier with each passing moment.

"So, if they find out about her…" I rub my small baby bump. "They will come to kill me - to make sure this serum is never made."

Natalie nods again.

My anger gives away to tears. I feel like my world is caving in around me and someone is squeezing my heart with pliers.

"God Erin, you look white as a sheet. Here, have a seat," Natalie says, pulling a stool over to me. Her eyes scan me worriedly as she lifts my wrist, taking my pulse.

"I-I'm f-fine," I tell her, though I feel like all the energy has been drained out of me. "And Jay knows about all of this?"

Natalie nods. "I only told him this morning. I wasn't sure I could make the serum, but I dug through all I had salvaged from my time at the medical institute and I was able to piece the protocol together. I didn't say anything before because I want to give anyone false hope."

I get up slowly— in the hopes that maybe if I take my time I won't look so distraught. "Thank you, Natalie."

"Look Erin, I'm so—"

"—There's nothing to be sorry about," I tell her. "You've been a wonderful friend."

I leave the infirmary knee deep in emotional energy. I am filled with grief and despair and hope simultaneously.

x

It's dinner time and I head to the cafeteria. My head is still reeling from all that Natalie told me. I rest my elbows on the battered table, and park my chin on my folded hands. Jay shows up moments later. He smiles, then comes behind me, bending to put his arms around me. I'm still rather cross at him, but I can't help but feel better having the strength and the bulk of him behind me. He kisses me lightly on top of my head.

"Were the dinner options that bad today?"

I shake my head. "Not feeling very hungry."

"Do I have to talk to the kid to lay off for a minute? Cause I'll do it," he whispers low in my ear.

I smile faintly and he immediately notices something is wrong beyond the normal pregnancy aches and pains.

"Why don't we grab some food and bring it up to the room, huh?"

I nod, knowing we can't talk here, and we desperately need to talk.

We go up to the room and I pick at my food. I don't even know how to rationalize my thoughts. I don't even know where to begin. Jay is quietly eating, watching me, his deep blue eyes are hooded in thought. I think he is waiting for me to go first, giving me a chance to open up. Perhaps I should just start with the obvious.

"I overheard you and Hank talking in his office today."

Jay's face goes a little pale for a minute. He puts his fork down, really slowly, wipes his mouth off with a napkin and swallows his food.

"I also talked to Natalie. I know about the cord blood," I add. "So, tell me everything, from beginning to end."

The line between his eyes deepens, but he smiles at me and tells me everything. He tells me about Bunny's disappearance. He tells me about the 'wanted pamphlets' of him circling around the settlements. Then he tells me he fears Bunny will put two-and-two together and will give us up.

"Hank doesn't trust her," he says.

I nod. "I don't trust her either." I feel my anger dissipate just a little. A fraction. A fraction of a fraction. But I feel it. "You have a plan," I say.

He takes a deep breath and nods. "I want to find your mom. We need her silence. I think she's at the capital."

"As soon as you step foot there you'll be captured," I tell him, trying to keep the desperation out of my voice. Jay doesn't say anything, but from the expression on his face, I'm already guessing that's his intent. "Wait, you want to be captured?"

"I want to find your mom," he repeats with infuriating calmness.

"If you get captured. You'll not be here," I snap angrily.

"If Bunny tells them about you, then everyone here is in danger, specially you. They will not come to bargain; they will come to annihilate the Refuge." He moves closer to me, reaching for my hand. "This is not me leaving. This is ensuring her future. Everyone's future."

He pulls me close as he often does, gathering me against his chest and resting his cheek against my hair. I can feel his heart beating against my ears, and I want nothing more than to stay here forever, not moving, not making love, just breathing the same air.

As much as I'm upset, I also know that it isn't fair to jeopardize all those living here at the Refuge. As much as I hate to admit it, Jay is right. This is bigger than me. It's bigger than all of us. Someone has to go find my Bunny.

A last Jay murmurs, "If I get caught Bunny's word won't stand against mine. You'll be protected and it might just buy us time until Nora gets here and Natalie can make the serum."

Pain chokes my voice as I murmur, "When do you leave?"

I can see him struggling to master the emotions on his face. "The sooner the better."

Tears spring to my eyes and I can't hold them back. They snake freely down my cheeks.

"It's not a goodbye." His voice is quiet, barely audible. "Far from it. I'm coming back and I'm sticking to you like glue. You'll never get rid of me." He smiles, but his blue eyes are shiny with unshed tears. "Then we'll take a trip east to the ocean, or north towards the great lakes." He wipes my cheeks. "And Nora will grow up free."

"I want" —my voice breaks suddenly and I have to swallow hard before continuing – "I want all of that with you and more."

My eyes are so full of tears that I can see his face clearly. His arms go tighter around me and the heat of him engulfs me like a monsoon. We hold each other for a long time without speaking.

"I wish I could just keep you here," I whisper to him.

His hand, large and warm, moves slowly and cups the swell of my belly, sheltering and caressing.

"I'll be here," he whispers, face buried in my hair. "Right here."

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