A/N Not too keen on the beginning of this chapter but love the ending. Here you go, have some (slight) happiness ;)
***WARNING*** Slight description of self-harm.
Gaius was sat, scratching his head, lost in thought as he re-read the letter once more. It had arrived that morning while he was preparing potions and since then, an hour later, he's read it about 20 times. It's a letter from Hunith expressing her concern for Merlin as he's slitting his wrists. She must've sent it that night when Gaius sent his. However, the troubling part isn't that Merlin's slitting his wrists (even though it bothers him.) it's the fact that it's his left arm and started a week ago. Yes Merlin's right handed and it starting a week ago isn't confusing itself it's the fact that Arthur started cutting himself on his left arm a week ago. Hunith states that he looked alarm when it seemed to start out of nowhere. It's all confusing to Gaius. He feels he's missing something. It could be coincidence but Gaius has a nagging doubt that it isn't. He's that lost in thought that he doesn't hear Morgana approach him. Not until she shouts his name, startling him. "I did knock." Morgana said, slightly amused.
"I'm sorry my child. I wasn't with it." Gaius said patting her hand that's resting on the table in front of him.
"It's fine. What's wrong?" Morgana asked noticing the paper.
"This." Gaius says, waving the letter. "It's a letter from Hunith. She's worried about Merlin. She believes he's cutting himself." Morgana gasped and groaned.
"Not him as well. I swear I'm going to go kill someone soon. What's Hunith doing about it? This can't be easy on her bless her."
"See that's the thing Morgana! 'Him as well'." Gaius said, quoting her words. Morgana's eyebrows were brought together in confusion.
"I don't see it." she admitted, confused.
"Merlin is supposedly cutting himself as well when we know Arthur's cutting himself. Coincidence, maybe? However, Hunith says that it's his left arm and started a little over a week ago. The same arm and same time as Arthur started." Gaius allowed the words to register with Morgana and when they did, Morgana could see what Gaius is trying to get at. "You think they're somehow linked?"
"Yes. I just don't see how." Gaius rests his chin on his linked hands lost in thought and re-reading the letter. Morgana sat down on the stool next to him. Something is clawing to get out of her head - then she remembers. The raping of Merlin. Arthur somehow got raped when he was travelling on a horse. Then again with the whipping. Arthur somehow got whipped and Merlin had got whipped. Surely they're all linked? "Gaius," Morgana said. The old man turned round to face her. "Merlin got raped yet somehow Arthur did and then Merlin also got whipped and somehow Arthur did. What if it's like that? Arthur's cutting himself so somehow Merlin's getting cut as well. They've always been linked by destiny but what if it runs deeper then that? What if they're physically bonded?" Gaius allows the possibility to run through his mind. It does make sense, especially with their destiny and their power but how come it's never happened before? "It's possible but it doesn't explain why it's happening all of a sudden."
"Maybe it's because Arthur was trying to find Merlin so much and Merlin's soul was calling to him that their souls have somehow bonded so they could feel each others presence." Morgana tried to explain. It seems likely.
"That makes sense and I do believe I've heard of stories like that from when the High Priestess' reigned." Gaius informed Morgana.
"So. What are we going to do?" Morgana asked.
"We go to Ealdor. I'll send a letter and we leave tomorrow. With Arthur." Gaius announces.
"You sure that's a good idea?"
"It's the only choice we have." Gaius said giving Morgana that intense stare that Merlin was so often the recipient of. Morgana knew then that it was the only choice. She went to see Arthur.
"I'm still not sure this is a good idea. He hates me. I won't be able to stand him shouting at me again." Arthur announced his doubts for what seemed like the hundredth time in the past two days. However, they fall on deaf ears and considering they're very close to Ealdor now, are just a mask for his nerves. They set off for Ealdor yesterday morning and it's now noon on their second day. It's just the three of them travelling; Arthur, Morgana and Gaius. There was no need to bring any guards or knights along despite certain knights pleading to come along. It would be hard enough for Merlin with just those three and Arthur and the warlock could do without such a huge crowd. No, it could only be those three travelling.
Hunith left her small hut mid-morning telling Merlin that she was just going to gather some herbs as they're running out. Merlin just grunted a response playing with a lose thread on his jacket. Casting a worried look at her son's back, she had left. She did need to gather herbs but she was expecting visitors at around noon that day, not that Merlin was aware. She was shocked to have received such a quick response but what was more shocking was the content within. Hunith's motherly instincts kicked in reading Gaius' explanation of Morgana's theory on Arthur and Merlin's connection. All she wanted to do was hold Arthur tight. She's always had a soft spot for the Prince as she feels for any person who's grown up without a mother's affection however, she couldn't help but be slightly relieved that her own son isn't the one cutting his wrist. Hunith mused over this while picking herbs awaiting her visitors.
Deep in thought, Hunith didn't realise how high the sun had now travelled until she was brought out of her musings by the distinctive cracking of twigs being stepped on and the rustle of leaves underfoot. Standing up she looked to where the sound was coming from in the forest and making their way through low-hanging branches and upturned tree roots came three horses with three riders - one grey stallion carrying an old man, a black stallion carrying a young woman and a brown stallion with a white mark down it's nose carrying a young man. The riders pulled their horses to a stop in front of her and the two young riders dismounted easy enough and then went to help the old man down. The old man was the first to address her coming close and pulling her into a hug. "My dear Hunith. It's so good to see you after so many years." He pulled back and held her at arms length, never letting go. Hunith smiled and replied back. "And I you my dear Gaius." She then turned her attention to Arthur and Morgana. Gaius stood back to allow them access. Morgana was the first to step forward and embrace her. "It's nice to meet you again Hunith." Morgana said before stepping to her left so Arthur can come forward. Arthur gave a tentative smile to Hunith. He didn't know what she knows or what she doesn't. It broke Hunith's heart to see what a state the young Prince was in. "Come here Arthur." Hunith told him, stepping forward and spreading her arms inviting him in for a hug. Arthur broke and held her tight trying hard to hold back the tears that threatened to fall. They stood like that for a few minutes before they pulled back. "We'll get it sorted, yes?" Hunith said softly. Arthur just nodded, screwing his face up as tears fell down his cheeks. "There, there." Hunith said, wiping some stray tears from his cheeks. Arthur managed a watery smile still doubting that this will work. Gaius chose that moment to speak. "Does he know we're here?"
"No. I thought it best not to tell him. He's back at the hut. Come on." Hunith replied picking up her basket and leading the way home. Gaius, Arthur and Morgana all followed leading their horses by the reins.
Merlin was bored. He wished that he'd gone to collect herbs with his mother. It would give him something to do. He had no new spells to learn or anything else to occupy him. He looked out the window seeing how high the sun was. Noon. Too late to go picking herbs now. Maybe a swim. It was then that it registered with him that his mother should've been back about an hour ago. It doesn't take more than a couple of hours to collect herbs. Maybe he should go find her, see whether she's alright. Before worry could really creep into his mind, he heard footsteps approach outside. That will be his mother now. He thought. Hang on a minute. There's more than one set of footsteps by the sounds of it. It sounds more like three or four at most. And is that, horses? Yes that definitely is. Merlin has managed to go from bored to worried to confused within the space of a few minutes. A growing sense of anxiousness has started to creep up Merlin's spine. What the hell is going on? The warlock heard the front door of the hut open and heard his mother - as that most definitely is his mother's footsteps, soft and gentle, - put down the basket that she uses to collect herbs. "Merlin?" she called out softly. Merlin, confused now, waited a minute before getting up and walking into the small living area. He immediately stopped dead in the doorway wishing that he hadn't got up.
Merlin was right in thinking there was more than one person arriving. In front of him stood his mother looking guilty yet determined at her son and stood behind her was Gaius looking older then what he had done when Merlin had left Camelot. The old man smiled when he saw Merlin yet the concern in his eyes lessened the glee the smile brought. Stood next to Gaius was Morgana who wore a similar expression as Gaius. However it wasn't these three that Merlin was interested in. Stood in the front door , looking awkward and uncomfortable and in a worse state then Merlin was Arthur. He looked pale and weak as if the wind could break him in two with a gentle blow. His hair had grown and looks just as ill as the person it grew on. Arthur's stance made it look as though he would rather be anywhere but where he was and the Prince refused to lift his eyes from the ground. Merlin's heart broke. This isn't Arthur. With his attention stuck on Arthur, Merlin hadn't realised his mother had moved forward until her hand touched his shoulder. Merlin jumped as if he'd been branded with a hot iron. It was then that the truth of who was there crashed down on him. He tried to make a bee line for the back door yet Morgana was quicker blocking his way before he could move two steps in the right direction. "Hello Merlin." she said, happiness in her voice but so was concern and determination. It filled Merlin with dread. He slowly turned back round and his breath caught in his throat as Arthur had lifted his eyes to look at him.
Arthur's eyes bolted up at the sound of Morgana speaking. His gaze zeroed in on the even thinner and paler Merlin. He looked as bad as he did when they rescued him from captivity. His clothes were about four sizes too big for him and he looked a mess. Arthur watched as Merlin slowly turned around and their eyes, blue clashing with blue, met. Arthur didn't dare breath for fear of the moment being over too quick. Emotions were racing through the orbs of blue that were more than likely mirroring his own; happiness, concern, guilt and sadness. What was remaining of his heart wept. The moment was over too soon as Merlin lowered his eyes and looked towards his mother. "What's going on?" the warlock's voice broke betraying his nerves.
"Take a seat." Hunith said, gesturing to them all. Merlin slowly and cautiously took the seat closest to him while Gaius took the one next to him. Morgana stayed by the door still not trusting Merlin to make an escape but her stance relaxed slightly. They all looked at Arthur who, taking a deep breath readying himself for what was to come, slowly edged away from the door and took the seat opposite Merlin. Their eyes wouldn't meet again.
"It's good to see you again my boy." Gaius said sincerely smiling at the young warlock. Merlin's mind was too busy throwing many reasons concerning why they're here to return one. "Why are you here?" he asked, voice stronger then earlier. Gaius looked to Hunith who had gone into the kitchen putting the herbs away yet still in eyesight of the small group of people seated. She nodded once and Gaius turned back to Merlin. "Your mother wrote me a letter expressing concern over your mental state." Merlin shot a quick glance to his mother who ignored him. "What do you mean my mental state?" Merlin demanded, tensing up.
"She was worried that you were very depressed to the point that you were cutting yourself." Merlin curled his left hand into a fist. It didn't go unnoticed by Gaius. "Are you?" the old man asked delicately. Merlin shook his head vehemently. "So you wouldn't mind me having a look?" Merlin's face flashed worry and hesitation. Before he had time to reply Gaius continued his interrogation. Arthur was watching this all through his eyelashes. "Is there something you're not telling us?" Gaius asked eyes never leaving Merlin. Hunith had finished putting her herbs away and had joined Morgana next to the door. Merlin could feel four pairs of eyes fixed on him and knew it was pointless to hide anymore. You could see Merlin reach this decision as all fight left him until he just looked tired. "I'm not cutting myself, honest." Merlin started, tone desperately wanting people to believe him. He looked around seeing that yes, they do believe him. He continued. "I'm not cutting myself but…I - I have cuts. I don't know how they just…appeared." Merlin finished flatly. There was silence for a couple of minutes while people registered what was said. "May I have a look?" Gaius asked, breaking the silence. Arthur's head snapped up at the question, eyes focused on Merlin. Merlin sensed this and raised his eyes to look at Arthur. He was shocked at the intense gaze that was focused on him. He nodded dumbly at Gaius's question and rolled his left sleeve up, eyes never leaving Arthur. He saw Arthur's eyes focus on his now bare arm as soon as it was revealed and noticed the worry and guilt cross the Prince's face just before Arthur leapt to his feet and left the hut before anyone else can react. This brought Merlin back to reality and he quickly rolled his sleeve down. "What's going on?" he demanded again at Gaius who was sitting there with a thoughtful expression on his face. Gaius looked at Merlin and sighed. "You and Arthur are linked." he announced. Seeing Merlin's confused expression he explained more. "When you were taken captive Arthur was desperately looking for you and you were desperate to see him. Somehow we believe that because of that desperation, your souls became linked and now anything that physically happens to one of you with great emotion or great pain behind it while you're separated, it will happen to the other. When you were taken captive you were raped. Arthur was raped at the same time by some unknown force. You were also whipped; so was Arthur. Do I need to explain further?" Gaius finished as he saw the pieces fit together in Merlin's head.
"Arthur's cut himself so it's happening to me." Merlin stated it as a fact rather then voicing it as a question. He didn't need an answer. Within a minute he was on his feet and out of the hut looking for Arthur.
It didn't take Merlin long to find the Prince. He was sat curled up next to a tree root watching the stream that ran through the forest ripple gently in the soft breeze. There were tears streaking from his bloodshot eyes and he was scratching his arm as if subconsciously, the one with the cuts on. Merlin took this in and also the Prince's posture. He could tell that Arthur was frustrated and angry. Not with anything or anyone else but he was angry with himself. Merlin could still read him like a book even after all this time. Merlin gently started walking closer to the Prince not wanting to startle him. Arthur didn't even notice his approach. The warlock sat down next to him and just looked at the once strong man. "Arthur?" Merlin said tentatively. Arthur startled slightly and looked to Merlin. He quickly looked away in guilt. Merlin hated it. "Hey. Look at me. Please?" Merlin asked. Slowly Arthur did as he was asked. The way Arthur looked, so broken and vulnerable, made Merlin wonder whether this was what he looked like when they found him after his capture. He had a sickening thought that yes it was. The Prince and the Warlock just looked at each other for a long moment, neither knowing what to see but then words weren't needed. Arthur broke down sobbing and Merlin just held him trying to comfort him yet failing as he too broke down. Arthur was just murmuring a chain of apologies between his sobs while Merlin copied him. Months of frustration, months of hardship and months of separation, on both parts, were released in that moment. A moment that stretched on and blocked everything else out. It was just them two; Merlin and Arthur. The Once and Future King and the Great Warlock. Who knows how long they stayed like that rocking each other and just holding onto the other. It felt like an age to them when it was only a few hours as the sun slowly set and the sobs died down.
A/N Yay! It's getting resolved and everything's explained! :D You know what else is good? Next chapter = FINAL chapter, finally! Bye.