Aware
This wasn't the first time he had dreamt this. He noticed her smile, how it spread across her face, how it made his own mouth turn into a smile. Then, he noticed she was standing. Waiting for him. Her and Caitlin. Waiting for him. Just waiting. But he never came. He woke up alone in Paris, in Rio de Janeiro, in Tokyo, alone.
*
1 year later
The door opened and Sonny walked in with a paper bag. "I got you something to eat."
Courtney smiled at him. "Thanks." She continued to walk around the small room, focusing on keeping her balance, working on her strength.
"How's the physical therapy going?" Sonny asked.
"Good. The doctors say if I stay on my feet, I can be back to normal," she said.
Back to normal. Whatever that was.
Sonny sat down and watched her walk. She had dark circles under her eyes. She had lost a lot of weight. Her hair was up in a messy ponytail. The white hospital uniform wasn't helping either.
"You know, Carly and I are thinking about sending Bella to preschool," Sonny said. "Get her started early on her education, you know?"
Courtney gave him a small nod.
"If you want, we can look into something for Caitlin," he said softly.
"Whatever you think is best," she said.
"I'm glad you trust me and Carly with Caitlin," Sonny said, "but she's your daughter. You haven't seen her since you woke up from your coma seven months ago."
"I can't, Sonny!" Courtney stopped walking. "How can I look at her and not be reminded of Jason? How he left us. How he hasn't tried to contact us. How he might never come back."
"Courtney—"
"Why, Sonny?" The tears came. "Why did Jason leave us?"
*
Sonny entered the penthouse, throwing his suit jacket over the chair.
"Daddy!" Michael held up a picture he drew. "Look at this!"
Bella and Caitlin sat by him, scribbling on their own drawings.
Sonny went to the couch and sat down, watching the three children play.
"Hey, honey." Carly walked in from the kitchen. "I was going to get the kids some ice cream. Want some?"
He shook his head.
"How's Courtney?" Carly asked.
"She's getting stronger," he said. It was a lie though. She may have woken up from the coma. She may have defied the doctors and proved them wrong by walking again, but when it came to Jason, she was not strong.
"Did you see my mommy, Uncle Sonny?" Caitlin asked.
"Yes, I did."
"Is she coming home?" Caitlin said.
Sonny touched her blond hair. "Not yet, sweetie, but she will."
"With my daddy?"
Sonny glanced at Carly, then back at his niece. "With your daddy."
*
Courtney sat here often. She stared out to the garden. It was a beautiful sunny day, but she sat inside. Her thoughts wandered to Jason to Caitlin to the night she was shot to the day she woke up from her coma. The first person she has asked to see was Jason, but he never came. She wanted to see Caitlin, but she didn't want her to see her mother in the hospital. So the only people she ever saw besides the hospital staff were Sonny, Carly, and her father. When she was alone, she would try to understand Jason's reasons for leaving Port Charles. Fear. Doubts. Loneliness. A lot of the things she felt herself. She touched the gold wedding band on her finger. She took in a deep breath and made her decision. She exhaled slowly.
*
"We got a postcard from Dean and Brenda," Carly said.
Sonny looked at the picture of London and flipped it over to read Brenda's handwriting.
Sonny and Carly—Just wanted to say hi. Dean sends his warmest regards also. We hope all is well.
"Looks like Brenda's settling down in England," he said.
"I'm glad," said Carly.
Sonny raised an eyebrow skeptically.
"What?" Carly smiled. "Everyone deserves to be in love." She kissed Sonny just as the phone rang. She groaned and answered it. "Hello? Oh, hi, Mom. What happened?" Carly frowned. "She did? Did she say where she was going? Okay. Thanks." She hung up and turned to Sonny.
"What is it?" he asked.
"Courtney checked herself out the hospital today," Carly said.
"What?"
"My mother was doing some paperwork and she saw her release forms. There's a letter at the hospital for you," Carly said.
Sonny grabbed his coat and quickly left for the hospital.
*
Dear Sonny,
Ever since I found out that Jason had left, I've been trying to figure out his reasons. Today I became aware of them. And for those same reasons, I am also leaving. Thank you for everything. Take care of Caitlin. Tell her I love her. Tell her I'll come back. I'll come back when he does.
Love, Courtney
END AWARE