Hate Me

"Now isn't a good time." Punk said to AJ's mother, shielding AJ from her mother in the process.

"I just wanted to see how she was feeling. I heard she was hurt." Her mother told him.

"That was a month ago." Punk pointed out. "And she's fine."

"It's alright." AJ said to Punk who turned his head to look at her.

"Yea?" He asked cautiously and she nodded.

"Maybe you can take Larry out?" She suggested.

"Sure." He said stepping aside and nodding for her mother to come in. "Larry!" he whistled and the dog came running.

"You got a dog." He mom said with a soft smile.

"Yea." AJ said folding her arms as she watched Punk put the leash on him.

"Mateo felt so guilty about your dog." She told AJ who's face fell. "He never forgave himself for letting her get off her leash and run over."

"That son of a bitch." AJ muttered and looked at Phil. "Did you know?"

"I've got to take Larry right now." Punk shrugged and rushed out the door.

"So, what are you doing here?" AJ asked.

"I was worried about you." Janet said to her as she put her purse down. "Beautiful apartment." she noted looking around.

"It's Phil's." She said to her. "He graciously asked me to move in."

"Before marriage I see." Janet noted under her breath.

"You have to say something." AJ laughed bitterly.

"It's just you were raised differently." Janet said to her.

"Penny has been sleeping around since she hit puberty." AJ shot at her. "Yet you're living with her."

"Not anymore." Janet told her. "I'm moving to Puerto Rico. I had a layover for two hours and thought I'd check in."

"Wow." AJ said to her. "Thought you were afraid to fly."

"I am but I have to get out of here." Janet told her.

"Out of where?" She asked.

"Here." Janet repeated. "I need to be in peace."

"Why don't you get treatment?" AJ asked her. "Actually, Penny made a remark at Thanksgiving and it had me thinking you were getting help."

"They diagnosed me as bipolar." Janet told her and AJ wasn't surprised. "It's hereditary. I know you have it too."

"I never told you that." AJ said to her.

"You didn't have to. As things became more clear I realized you were just like me when you were younger." Janet said to her. "I assume since you're so well rounded that you have been getting help as well."

"Why did you start to get help? What changed?" AJ asked.

"Overdosed. Wanted to die." Janet told her. "It's- painful sometimes."

"Me too." AJ told her.

"When?" Janet asked her quietly.

"College. My first year in my dorm." She told her.

"Why wasn't I notified?" Janet asked.

"Because I was 18 and I didn't want you to know anything." She told her. "I didn't have ID or anything on me. Nick took care of it."

"I heard he passed away." Janet said to her. "Plus you were attacked. I wanted to see with my own two eyes you were still standing."

"I've been standing my whole life. Losing Nick and get the shit kicked out of me is nothing compared to what you put me through growing up." AJ told her.

"I deserve that." Janet said to her.

"Are you here to apologize?" AJ asked curiously.

"No." Janet said to her. "I always felt I did right by you. I saw so much of me in you and that's why I was so hard on you."

"That's why? Maybe it was because you weren't medicated and severely bipolar." AJ shot back.

"I think your brother and sister turned out ok." Janet said to her.

"They got out." AJ reminded her. "You wouldn't let me go. You wouldn't let me do anything."

"I tried the best I could." Janet told her.

"No you really didn't." AJ said back to her. "You're the reason I'm afraid to have children."

"What?" Janet asked.

"I don't want to abuse my child like you did me." She told her.

"You shouldn't let me dictate your future April, that's giving me far too much power." Janet told her. "You and I were just too alike. We both had our issues and we both didn't get help."

"And who's fault was that?" AJ asked back.

"I'm trying to put some of this behind us." Janet said to her.

"You could apologize." She said to her.

"I can't apologize for what I have." Janet said to her. "You of all people should know that."

"I know I won't make the same mistakes." AJ said to her. "I won't be like you"

"I hope not." Janet said to her. "I want better for you. I want better for myself which is why I'm getting away."

"Not all of us can run from our problems like you." AJ said simply. "After you got diagnosed why didn't you reach out to me? Why didn't you tell me if you knew I had to? Why did you always want me to suffer? Why didn't you love me?"

"I just wanted to check in on you." Janet said simply. "Like I said, Mateo had told me about your attack and Nick passing and that was it." she said walking to the door.

"You really can't tell me you love me?" She asked her mother who just walked out the door. "That's fine! Because I hate you!" She yelled following her mother out the door. Her mom was waiting for the elevator and didn't even look back. "Do you hear me!" AJ screamed. "I hate you too!" she yelled and saw her mother rush on the elevator as Punk stepped off of it. Once neighbors began to open their doors AJ shut hers but Punk and Larry walked in.

"I don't want to talk about it." AJ said to Punk before he could even speak then ran up the stairs.

Punk decided to ignore AJ's request to not talk about it and walk into the bedroom where she was getting changed.

"I said I didn't want to talk about." AJ said pulling a tank-top over her head.

"Ok." Punk said watching her grab clothes and violently throw them into the hamper. "If you change your mind-"

"She wouldn't apologize." AJ told him and Punk knew she wanted to vent. "She couldn't even say she loved me."

"Ape-" he began.

"How horrible am I that my own mother doesn't love me?" She asked him. "I'm incapable of people loving me. It's apparently this impossible task-"

"I love you." He said quietly. "I love you very much as a matter of fact."

"This is why I can't have children." She told him. "I'll be just like her-"

"You're nothing like her." Punk said to her. "I remember your mom very well and you are not her. You allow yourself to laugh and love she never did. You let me love you, you don't make easy for me but it's impossible not to."

"I'm her child." AJ choked back tears. "I'm fucked up- I get that but that's because of her! Because I inherited her shitty genes!"

"It's alright." Punk said pulling her against him. "Your genes aren't shitty either."

"They are." She cried into his chest. "I'll never have a normal life."

"Why would you say that?" He asked.

"Women my age are looking to get married and have kids." She told him. "Me on the other hand I'm looking for a new therapist and trying to remember if I took my medication-"

"You're normal. Everyone's idea of normal is different." He told her seriously. "You're going to have it all I promise you."

"I'm not meant to have normal." She told him.

"We have a place together, we have a dog, we have jobs- we're pretty much as normal as people get." He smirked as she cried.

"She hates me." AJ repeated slowly to him so he would understand. "You have no idea what that feels like. Your mom is unmedicated bipolar and she worships the ground you walk on."

"Your mom is jealous of you." Punk told her and AJ rolled her teary eyes and shook her head. "She is! She wishes she had the stability you have. When your father died she stopped trying. You graduated from college, have an amazing job, a beautiful home and man that would lay his life down for yours without hesitation. You don't need her to love you."

"Everyone needs their parents love." She said shaking her head.

"Not true." He told her.

"We're family." She told him.

"WE'RE family." He corrected. "You and I. Mateo, Maria our new niece or nephew." He reminded her. "We're what matters." Punk reminded her. "Not her. She's not even in your life anymore."

"Like enough shit hasn't been going on that she had to show up and add unnecessary stress to it." She snapped moving to sit on the bed. "She said she heard about Nick and beating wanted to stop in apparently to just to throw some salt on my wound."

"Why do you give her this power over you?" Punk asked curiously.

"What do you mean? It's not power it's my mother not loving me-" She began to explain.

"Every major decision you make you base it on your mother." Punk pointed out as he walked over to his dresser and pulled out some clothes.

"That's not true...is it?" She asked more herself as she tried to think about it.

"You won't have kids because of her." He said to her. "You said you had an abortion because you were afraid you would be like your mother. Even when you said you were hesitant about marriage it was because of your mother- why do you let her consume your life?"

"I don't know." She admitted. "Do I really say that a lot? I'm one of those people who blame my mom for everything, aren't I?"

"I do it too." Punk said to her turning around. "I mean, I jumped from woman to woman most of my life and I put that blame on her myself. I never let anyone get close to me-"

"Not even your wife?" She asked and he glared at her. "Sorry." She added in a whisper and he walked over to her.

"I get that she was awful to you, I really do." he said to her. "I know it's not easy to do but if we're going to have a shot at a future together you have to let some of this go. I don't want your mom dictating your future because I'm planning on my future with you."

"You're right." She agreed cleaning her eyes. "You're absolutely right." she said nodding her head strongly. "I'm done throwing myself a pity party."

"You can throw yourself a pity party, just don't invite your mom." he said offering her a sweet smile.

"How do you put up with me?" She asked seriously.

"I'm not that much of a picnic myself." Punk teased and she had to smile. "I love you to death, I really do. You're the reason I want to get my shit together, I love waking up next to you every morning even though your hot breath is always blowing in my face." she laughed loudly at that. "And that laugh, I love making you laugh. If every word I said could make you laugh I'd talk forever. It literally gives me life. And Larry, I love having this small little family with you. I love that when we argue you don't dump me or run off- you stay and you fight. You're not like anyone else I've ever been with. I can't imagine not falling asleep next to you every night."

"You're too good to me." She whispered as happy tears ran down her face.

"You're perfect. You hate hearing that and you don't believe it, but for me, you're perfect." He told her honestly then she saw him slowly get down on one knee. "I was going to do this on Tuesday for your birthday but I don't want to do the cliché restaurant proposal. And my plan was to put the ring in your dessert but I had a fear that you'd eat it all up and I'd have to take you to the hospital to get it out and the ring cost me way too much for that." he teased nervously.

"I would have." She whispered in shock and watched as he opened the box and it was gold banded diamond ring- a huge diamond. She was afraid it weighed more than she did.

"I can't speak for your mom or anyone else in your life but I love you." He said honestly. "I'm never going to stop loving you which is why I want you to wear my ring and marry me. We both didn't believe in marriage but I want to solidify our commitment to each other." he told her. "I can't promise you that it will always be easy and we won't go at it or drive each other nuts but there's no one else I'd rather drive nuts than you. But I can promise you I'll spend everyday trying to make you laugh and feel loved."

"I love you." She said falling to her knees before him and kissing him. "I'm going to try really hard to prove to you everyday that I'm worthy of your love." she said as he slid the ring onto her finger.

"You already do." He told her. "Is this a yes?"

"It's a yes." She smiled and he kissed her deeply. "Are you sure though?" she asked he had to laugh. "I mean really sure because-"

"I've never been more sure of anything in my life." He said to her as he stood up and grabbed her hands and helped her to her feet.

"I want to celebrate." She said looking at her ring.

"You read my mind." He grinned and literally jumped onto the bed.

"I want to show Mateo!" She said running out of the room and his face fell.

"Maybe I didn't read your mind." He muttered as he reluctantly got off the bed.

At The Club House it was jammed but AJ didn't care. She literally pushed through every customer waiting at the bar to be served.

"Mateo!" AJ yelled slapping her hand against the bar.

"Rudest-" Mateo began to complain but she held up her left hand with a big smile.

"I'm getting married!" She screeched.

"Oh my god!" Mateo yelled running around the bar and hugging her.

"Isn't it pretty?" She asked showing him the ring.

"It's a rock." Mateo said examining the ring.

"You don't seem surprised." AJ noted.

"He asked for your hand in marriage a while ago." Mateo told her.

"You did?" AJ asked as Punk approached.

"Of course I did." Punk said to her. "There has to be some tradition."

"I'm happy for you." He said hugging AJ one more time. "But more excited we get to be brothers for real!" Mateo cheered as he hugged Punk happily.

"I think you're both more happy you're going to be related to each other." AJ remarked in a jealous tone.

"You didn't get me a ring." Daffney noted.

"You want to see mine?" AJ asked in a cocky voice flashing her ring.

"A little too flashy if you ask me." Daffney smiled politely.

"Flashy?" AJ asked annoyed and Punk gently pulled her away from Daffney.

"Ignore her." Punk insisted. "She's jealous."

"Why? She married you first." AJ said to him and he practically growled at her. "I don't like her."

"She's harmless." Punk said to her. "She's also good here and helps your brother out and it keeps me out of coming in to help him."

"So does this make Mateo's boss?" She asked curiously and slightly intrigued.

"What?" He asked laughing.

"Since you own the bar and his boss, once we get married isn't this like half mine?" She asked.

"Half yours if we divorce which won't happen." He said to her. "But yea, you can boss him around once we get married. Why not?" he asked and she smiled wide. "I'd tell you that you could go next door and boss Cliff around too but he'd like that too much."

"I don't want to wait." She told him in the crowded bar.

"For what?" he asked.

"You asked me months ago what my dream wedding would be and I still want it to be that." She told him. "I want to get a dress and I want you in a fancy suit but that's about as traditional. My brother can give me away and Maria can be a witness but that's it. I don't want anyone else seeing what we have because it's just ours."

"Ok." He smiled and kissed the top of her head. "You just pick out the suit and tell me when and where and I'll be there."

"Alright." She grinned.

"But I do want to be control in one thing." He said to her. "You can do whatever you want wedding wise, we'll go to Vegas, we'll do it in the living room, we'll do it right here in this bar during happy hour if you want." He teased. "But I want to plan the honeymoon."

"Will it be hot and tropical?" She asked curiously.

"What do you know about anything tropical? The furthest you've ever been is New York." He mocked.

"Ok, plan the honeymoon." she told him excitedly. "It's going to be perfect. All of it."

"I know that." He said looking down at her.

"And Larry can be our ring boy!" She suggested.

"Larry would eat our rings." Punk teased. "Let's not do that."

"We'll get him a little suit then." She said to him. "He could be your best man."

"I thought Mateo would be." He smirked.

"No. He has to give me away." AJ told him.

"Ok, so Larry it is." He said to her. "He better not piss on me during the ceremony."

"He has an excited bladder." AJ reminded him sadly. "Don't blame him for his accidents."

"He's excited 24/7?" Punk asked curiously. "Maybe it's a good thing we don't have kids. We can't even train a dog."

"Larry is a handful, a kid would be easier I feel like." She teased.

"I think the three of us are each handfuls." He said to her and she smiled.

"That's why we're a perfect family." she told him. "We're rejects"

"You two may be rejects, but I'm fucking cool." Punk said seriously and she laughed.

"Says the man who employees his ex-wife." She said to him and he glared at her.

"How can I get you to stop bringing that up?" He asked her.

"Build a time machine." She shrugged.

"I don't throw your ex up in your face." He said to her and she laughed right in her face.

"You bring up Nick constantly." She said in disbelief.

"Speaking of that, I want to go down to the police station before I take you to work tomorrow." he told her.

"If they heard something they'd call us." She told him. "We have to move on."

"Never. Not until I know Ryan is away." He told her. "And we have to stay on them so they don't slack off."

"I just want to focus on our wedding." She told him. "I have so much to plan!"

"I've never seen you so excited before." He said to her.

"I've never been this excited before." She smiled. "I never thought this day would come. I never thought I'd meet someone who knew my deepest darkest secrets and still loved me in spite of them."

"I love you because of them." He corrected. "Can we get out of here now? I want to celebrate."

"We are celebrating." She said to him.

"Not such an open forum." He whispered. "Something a bit more private with a bit less clothing." He suggested.

"Ok." She said looking at ring.

"That you can keep on." he told her twirling the ring around her finger. "But that's it."

"I'm never taking it off." She said admiring the ring. "It's so beautiful. Did you pick it up yourself?"

"I did." He said proudly. "It took me weeks to find the right one. You're not the easiest person to shop for, has anyone ever told you that?"

"Just everybody I have ever met." She smiled. "But you did good, you should be proud."

"I'm pretty damn proud." He had to admit smugly. "But now I really want to get you home." He said pulling her towards the door.