Otis cleaned himself up just standing numb under the shower he had got revenge for him and Alice but it hadn't taken away any of the shame or pain ge felt from Cutters previous assult if anything it made him feel partly worse because he knew Cutter would go through something similar to what he does, the nightmares, the shame and the feeling of not being able to feel clean.

Cutter slowly heaved himself off the floor using the wall for support, his head spun he felt so dizzy and in so much pain. He had never thought Otis would hurt him he had always thought Otis's threats and aggression was just him blowing smoke just two blokes having a testosterone match, what a terrible misjudgement that had been. He stumbled to the bathroom leaning on the wall he could feel bile rise to his throat and tried to quicken the pace. Cutter threw himself onto his knees in front of the toilet and moaned as the bile burnt his throat. He crawled under the shower he hurt so much, everything hurt his body ached and some parts stung, the scolding hot water scorched his skin but he still felt unclean, embarrassed and ashamed he still couldn't believe that he hadn't been strong enough to defend himself against Otis, that Whitey HE had done this to him.

When Otis had cleaned himself up he walked into the bedroom, Alice was sat waiting for him a smile spread across her face when she saw him and she ran up to him and wrapped her fingers around him.
"Otis baby are you ok? I've missed you so much I thought i'd never see you again" She looked up at him running a hand through his hair
"I'm Ok mama I'm ok"
"Oh baby your poor bruised face, it must have been horrible sleeping on the streets" She fussed.
"Don't fuss mama I'm alright" He grinned but he liked the attention.
"Aww my poor baby sleeping rough" She said stroking his cheek, wait a minute he thought I should be comforting you.
"Don't worry about me mama, how are you are you ok?" He asked sternly looking into her eyes, Alice slowly nodded.
"I'm ok baby... thank you"
"For what" He chuckled.
"Saving me of course" She reached up kissing his cheek.
"You don't have to thank me you silly girl" He laughed scooping her into his arms.

Otis and Alice lay in bed wrapped in each others arms comforting each other, Alice was so happy to hold her Otis again she smiled as her head rested on her chest.
"I...I can't believe Cutter was going to do that" She stuttered, they had been so close she had thought they had had a father daughter type bond but Cutter had ruined that, obviously he had felt something different.
"I'm sorry I didn't get there quick enough" He mumbled sadly "But, but he won't hurt you again I made sure of that" Alice couldn't help but wonder what he meant by that but let it go she was too busy trying to make him feel better.
"Oh Otis, don't blame yourself this isn't your fault you got there in time my lovely brave strong man" She smiling giving him a squeeze.
"Huh I don't know about that" He huffed.
"You were brave you came to my rescue" Otis huffed.
"I didn't get there quick enough for him to rip your clothes of though did I?" He spat.
"Otis, No Stop! You don't get to blame yourself for this you did everything you could this is NOT your fault, stop blaming yourself for things you couldn't do a thing about"
"I shouldn't have fucking left you!" He spat "I shouldn't have left you with him, I knew what he was fucking capable of" Otis fumed he was so angry with himself.
"Otis you didn't know anything like this would happen, I certainly didn't don't blame yourself for something someone else did" She took his face in her hands and kissed him on the lips.
"Love you Otis so much you don't know how happy I am to have my man back"
"Mmmm love you too mama missed you" He smiled snuggling her, trying to push the guilt and regret he felt to the back of his mind.

As Alice lay in bed fast asleep Otis lay awake staring at the ceiling, he felt like everything was his fault. It was his fault that Cutter had had the opportunity to attack her he had left her to defend herself against him he knew what cutter was capable of and he had left her alone with him. It was his fault Alice had got attacked he hadn't got there in time he had ignored the first scream if he hadn't done that maybe he wouldn't have got chance to pull her clothes off her. Was Cutter attacking him all those years ago his fault Otis had been drunk beyond belief that night if he hadn't maybe he could have fought him off, In Otis's drunken state had he sort of sent Cutter some mixed messages that he wanted it? And his parents he had wanted his parents to love him was all the abuse by his parents what he had asked for? Adults used sex to express love so was that what his father was doing when he assaulted him when he was little? Showing him love? Did that mean all those years of rape it wasn't rape at all it was his parents expressing the love that HE had asked for? Had HE asked his parents to do that to him?

Cutter finally managed to drag himself out of the shower he still didn't feel clean but he couldn't spend all day in there. He lay on his bed with his cocaine and weed stash and began to purge on it trying to take his mind of what had happened, all he wanted to do was drug himself into a numb stupor. He hated that Whitey was happy he was there in his bedroom being fussed and showered in affection by Alice, that he had her body wrapped around him while he was on his own injured, humiliated and about to get drugged out of his eyeballs. There just wasn't any justice in the world nothing was fair.

Otis woke up in the middle of the night shivering he felt so hot but he couldn't stop shaking, Alice woke up feeling the vibrations.
"You ok baby?" She asked concerned.
"Fuck it's so fucking hot but I can't stop shaking" He shivered, Alice felt his forehead and frowned.
"You are a bit warm babe" She pulled the covers up to his neck and wrapped herself around him trying to stop him shaking.
"Maybe your coming down with something" Alice said.
"Great that's all I fucking need" Otis groaned.
"Well that's what you get for sleeping on the street silly" Alice chuckled.

In the morning that's when the coughing and sniffing started he hadn't noticed it at first but it had become worse.
"Oh baby you're coming down with a cold I think" Alice soothed stroking his hair "I have to get to work though are you going to be ok?" She frowned, Otis nodded.
"I'll be fine I've had worse than a cold when you wasn't here" Alice nodded she hated to think about what poor condition he had been in when the Firefly family had taken him in. While Alice was at work she couldn't help but wonder if Otis was ok she knew he had handled worse but she still worried. Alice rushed straight home when she had finished and ran up the stairs to see him she knew mother firefly would take care of him if he had needed anything but she wanted to see her baby.

Alice gasped when she saw him her baby was shivering and was wrapped tightly in bed, a bin beside the bed almost full with tissues.
"Hay mama" He croaked, he groaned as he tried to sit up.
"Oh baby you don't look good" She soothed sitting down beside him.
"I don't feel good mama" Alice frowned with worry, that wasn't like Otis he always said he was ok even when he clearly wasn't.
"I ache mama, my muscles hurt when I move and I can't stop shivering" He whimpered "Can, can I just hold you for a bit mama?" Alice smiled at him.
"Awwww of course you can" Alice got comfy then Otis slowly curled into her he whimpered as he pressed against her his muscles ached so much it even hurt to be touched.
"Hnnnnn it hurts mama it even hurts to hug you" He groaned, Alice removed her arms so he could move away from her. "I didn't say that mean stop" He said grabbing her arm and moving it back to where it was, Alice chuckled.
"Awww baby you're nothing but a big snuggle bug ain't you, big scary Otis is nothing but a cuddle monster" She chuckled to herself.

Alice felt awful leaving him for work the next day she knew he was suffering from flu and really didn't want to leave him but she knew he had Baby or mother firefly to look after him if he needed someone, but she didn't want to be at work she wanted to be at home looking after her sweet silly man.

Otis groaned and wrapped himself up to his eyes in his blankets so that there was just a white mop of hair and two red eyes poking out from the quilt, he had obviously been a lot sicker in his lifetime that this but he didn't like this, he hated the constant shivers and hot and cold sweats and he hated how much his muscles hurt and ached every time he moved.

Baby checked on him later in the early afternoon, he was covered in sweat and she could see from the covers how much he was shaking.
"You Ok Otis?" She asked through the small gap in the door.
"Ma,mama" He groaned.
"Alice isn't here at the minute"
"I, I want Alice" He whimpered, it broke Baby's heart to see he big brother so sick.
"Shes not here right now" Baby tried to explain sitting on the bed beside her brother stroking his damp hair.
"Alice, she's left me?" Baby almost laughed at the idea.
"No silly she's just at work" Otis grunted in response and turned round to try and get some sleep so Baby left him alone to rest.