AN: S. Meyer owns Twilight and its characters.

I know this is a short one, but I'm glad to have something to offer those who are still interested in reading my little story.

Happy reading!

Cheers x

Ch 21 The Four Letter Word

EPOV

"So… when are ya' gonna make an honest woman out of Bells?" I just gave Jasper the 'What the fuck are you on about' look and continued eating my slice of pizza.

"Excuse me?" I asked with a tone of indifference and a hint of annoyance.

"You fuckin' heard me, don't think I can't see what's goin' on."

I continued eating. Each bite seeming harder to swallow than the last, it was like I was swallowing large quantities of sand. Sam's pizza is never usually dry.

"I don't know what you're talking about man." Shrugging my shoulders for effect.

"Oh get off it. You know exactly what I'm talkin' about. What… are you ashamed or somethin'? Because Bella is like a sister to me; I know I haven't known her as long as you have but so help me if you hurt her." His eyes were glaring at me now, elbows resting on his knees as he sat on the side of my bed staring at me from my position on my chair opposite him. "What are your intentions with her? You better not be using her as a fuck buddy or some shit, because I expected differently from you. That's so not cool man. Either ask her to officially be your girl or quit fooling around. She deserves better than that."

I looked at him flabbergasted. I can't believe he'd even put me in that category. I told him so.

"What the fuck Jas! I can't believe you think that low of me. I would never do that!" I pinched the bridge of my nose and groaned in frustration. But he was right. I wanted nothing more than to make her mine and what we were doing together was bordering 'fuck buddy' territory, even if neither of us would like to call it that. Remember the whole no labels thing? Fuck I'm confused.

"Ah… so you admit that there's something more than friendship going on between the two of you?" He said all knowingly. Alice is really rubbing off on him. I guess it was time I had someone to confide in about my situation with Bella. Although I do feel quite guilty since I told her I wouldn't breathe a word of our still undefined relationship to anybody, including Jasper. I hope she wouldn't hate me.

"I think I'm in love with her man. No wait I know I'm in love with her." Whatever I felt for Tanya in the past was nothing compared to what I feel for Bella this very instant and if I wasn't kidding myself what, I've felt for her the entire time she's been in my life.

He looked at me and cocked his eyebrow as he clasped his hands together and rested his chin on them.

"Let me guess, you just haven't grown a pair and told her yet have you?"

I just nodded; there was no point in denying it anymore.

"Listen Jas, this stays between us okay? Our situation is something that hasn't even been defined between the two of us. I'd like to see where she wants this to go before my affections are publicly known." I was really hoping that he would understand.

"Of course man, I wasn't gonna say anything to anyone. It's your business." I let out a huge breath of relief and told him the basic gist of what has been happening between Bella and I as of late. Well all of it without going into intimate details. Like I said, I don't kiss and tell.

BPOV

So the whole amending rules to our sleepover arrangement was kind of a moot point at Edward's house, you see since Em moved out he pretty much doesn't have to worry about anything, nobody occupied the room near by and Esme and Carlisle's room happened to be down the very large hallway of their home. I have a feeling they were just doing it for the whole "responsible parent charade" they like to have going for themselves. Edward's parents and mine for that matter don't really restrict us much as you might've noticed, making our households much happier. We're less likely to rebel if we aren't shackled down with many rules, and the whole trust factor ensures that neither he nor I would abuse it. I think it works wonderfully. But still we kept it up for a while, it's not like they really checked up on us frequently or at all for that matter.

The gossiping and stares that we received from the student body had somewhat died down since the incident. Thanksgiving came and went a few days ago and December was now looming. It was too fucking cold to function, but of course that wasn't anything new. Winter is always entirely too cold here in Forks. Alice thought it was about time we updated our winter wardrobes, well more so on my part since she's always prepared. That is what brought us to Seattle for the day for a spot of shopping.

"So Bella, are you gonna tell me what's been going on between you and Edward? Don't think I haven't noticed the shift in your friendship." She was looking through a rack of coats in the department store we were currently in. She wasn't even looking at me to gauge my reaction, for which I was glad. My facial expressions always give too much away without my having to say anything, especially the blush I currently feel making its appearance.

"I don't know what you're talking about Alice." I continued to look at the sweaters in front of me.

"See that right there missy is a dead give away."

"What are you on about Alice, care to fill me in because I have no idea what you mean." She finally looked me in the eye; ready I'm sure to call me on my bullshit.

"Don't lie to me Bellie. For one I know there's something up because you used 'Alice' and you're blushing a deep shade of crimson right now." She turned back to the coats and picked one up tossing it to the ever-growing pile of things to try on in my arms.

"I've waited long enough for you to tell me what's been going on between you two and I've had enough already. My patience is wearing thin. You know you can tell me anything." I could tell by the tone she used she was incredibly frustrated.

I sighed in dejection. I guess she was right, but I felt horrible for both keeping something like this from her, and feeling a twinge of guilt for what I'm about to say since Edward and I had agreed not to let anyone know about our undefined situation.

"Look Alice, I didn't intentionally keep anything from you, trust me. This… situation Edward and I have found ourselves in isn't even defined. We're not anything to each other. I don't think he could ever love me. I mean; I'm just me you know? He could have anyone he wants. Why would he settle?" I shrugged my shoulders and walked off to the changing rooms.

I wasn't surprised to find Alice straight on my heels, following me into the certainly not big enough for two changing room.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me Bella. What do you mean 'I don't think he could ever love me, why would he settle'?" She said mocking me, and making quotation marks with her fingers trying to make a point.

"Are you even hearing yourself clearly Bella? Because you sure sound like you're spouting out a load of bullshit." I tried to ignore her by trying on the grey long sleeved shirt while she sat in the chair looking at me incredulously. Once I had the top on I turned around and showed her.

"What? Don't look at me that way Allie."

"I can look at you any way I want to Bellie because right now you're being ridiculous, and you're also buying that it looks good on you." I agreed and tried on the next item of clothing.

"Honey, I'm not trying to be mean or anything but you obviously don't see things the way I do and that boy… that boy loves you." Her face changed from one of incredulity to a soft look of understanding. "I think he's loved you your whole life, he worships the ground you walk on. So don't tell me you think otherwise. Bella he's not Jacob." With that she put a reassuring hand on my shoulder giving it a light squeeze and turned to leave the changing room; but before she left hyper pixie was back in her element and said in a wistful tone that a pair of boots outside were calling her so off she went, leaving me to mull over everything she had just said.

She was right; Edward is no Jacob. But were do we go from here? Do I want to be in a relationship? One I know that will eventually have to end when we leave for college. Or should we just stay in this safe bubble we've built. Do I choose safety or inevitable heartbreak?

Thanks so much for reading :)

I wonder what Bella will choose. Hopefully I can update soon. But I'm making no promises so I can avoid disappointment from you guys and myself. This sem really has been crazy, my hairs been falling out from all the stress :(

Thanks again for reading lovelies x