Thanks for reading, and please review if you're still enjoying the story. Special thanks to my brilliant beta Prothrombintime.

Chapter 21

Jack spent the rest of the afternoon and part of the early evening at Toshiko's flat with his friends. He'd expected it to be more awkward than it was, and in the end, it had been good to share their memories of John. They'd been able to remember all the things they'd loved about him, and the positive impact he'd had on their lives.

The pain of losing him was still profound – a deep wound that hadn't yet begun to heal. However, Jack felt a renewed sense of determination to try to make the most of the time he had left. It had been John's wish that he find some genuine happiness, and as Toshiko had recently reminded him, it was the best way that they could honour John's life. Jack couldn't allow himself the luxury of dwelling on things that he had no control over. He didn't have much time left. He still needed answers, and he still wanted justice, but deep down, he knew he had to accept that there was no guarantee he would find either. He couldn't let those needs completely overshadow the brief remainder of his life.

Tosh had tried to convince Jack to stay and have dinner with them, but he'd politely declined, simply stating that he needed some time alone. It hadn't exactly been a lie, but he wanted to make sure that he was home in case Ianto called or arrived on his doorstep.

He'd been a little worried about the younger man since they'd parted company earlier that afternoon. The depth of his feelings for the enigmatic Welshman continued to astonish and confuse him. He couldn't deny that he was becoming more enamoured with each passing moment. Plus, he had reached a decision. He was going to tell Ianto the truth about everything.

It was a little after seven o'clock when Jack arrived back at his apartment. He quickly stripped off his suit and pulled off the tie hanging loosely at his neck, along with his shirt. Adding the shirt and socks to the growing pile of dirty clothing in his washing basket, he hastily put the suit away, feeling relieved when it was finally out of sight. He didn't think he'd ever want to wear it again. Digging out his favourite pair of faded, well-worn jeans, he pulled them on, enjoying the feel of the soft fabric as it settled against his skin. He tugged on an old blue t-shirt and, leaving his feet bare, he retreated to the kitchen.

Deciding to indulge in a drink, Jack downed some painkillers, poured himself a measure of scotch, and collapsed onto the sofa. Other than one glass of wine, he'd stuck with tea and coffee at Toshiko's, since he'd had to drive himself home.

His thoughts drifted as he sipped at his drink. The despair of the arduous day mixed with his confusion over John Hart and his bizarre threat, along with his need to enter the simulation again and find the mysterious, hidden message. Feeling emotionally drained, he allowed his eyes to close, and he settled into a light doze.

Jack woke with a start to the sound of the apartment's intercom buzzing insistently. Glancing blearily down at his phone where he'd left it earlier on the coffee table, he noticed that almost two hours had passed. Shaking off his grogginess, he pulled himself to his feet and padded down the hallway.

It was only a minute or so later that Ianto was standing on the doorstep, a large pizza box in one arm, and a six-pack of beer in the other.

"Hi, Jack," Ianto offered in greeting with a warm but weary smile.

Jack smiled back at the younger man, feeling the now familiar warm rush sweep over him. Ianto had changed into casual clothes; his leather jacket accompanied by a fitted black t-shirt and his usual figure hugging jeans. He looked stunning, and for a fleeting moment, Jack wondered why Ianto was wasting his time with him. The Welshman deserved to be with someone who could offer him the possibility of a future... the chance to have a lifetime with someone he loved. And it wasn't as if Ianto would have any trouble finding other options. Ianto was young and eligible, with qualities in abundance that could easily attract any number of highly desirable men or women.

"Ianto, hey. Come in," Jack replied, forcefully pushing aside his doubts and closing the door behind the other man.

"Thought you might be hungry," Ianto offered as he passed the items to Jack and removed his jacket and shoes. "It's meat feast. Hope that's okay?"

The tantalising aroma hit Jack's nostrils, and he realised that he hadn't attempted to eat anything since breakfast. "I hadn't really thought about dinner," he admitted. "But this smells delicious. My favourite too."

They made their way into the kitchen, and Jack put the food and beer down on the bench-top. He turned to Ianto and with scarcely a thought, he pulled him in close and kissed him firmly on the mouth. The simple gesture felt surprisingly natural and effortless. He'd almost forgotten how nice it was to have someone to care about, to enjoy being with, and to openly share affection.

"You okay?" he asked Ianto as he pulled back, settling his hands on the other man's hips and looking at him closely.

"Yeah," Ianto replied with a hint of a smile that didn't quite seem to reach his eyes. His hand was settled on Jack's upper arm, and he gave a gentle squeeze. "I'm fine, Jack. Sorry about earlier."

"Nothing to apologise for," Jack reassured him and dropped his hands away.

Suddenly feeling a bit awkward, Jack moved away and busied himself with fetching plates from a nearby cupboard. Ianto put the beers in the refrigerator, leaving two of them out on the bench.

"By the way, you've won Toshiko over with that irresistible Welsh charm of yours," Jack teased as he pulled out two plates and dug out some paper napkins. He wanted to lighten the mood, and he hoped that Ianto wouldn't want to talk about the funeral. He just needed to forget about everything for a few hours. "She thinks you're gorgeous," he added lightly.

Ianto raised an inquiring eyebrow. "Does she? Well, Toshiko seems to be a woman with impeccable taste. Not to mention the fact that she's beautiful and obviously brilliant."

Jack looked up at Ianto abruptly, and noticing his cheeky smirk, he couldn't help but smile. "Oh, she's a genius all right, and she's stunning," he agreed easily. "But don't go getting any ideas. She's taken." He paused and stared at Ianto. "And so are you."

Ianto's eyes widened slightly in surprise, and Jack inwardly cringed as soon as the words had left his mouth. He wondered why in the world he'd blurted that out. He knew that he didn't have any claim over Ianto, but the idea of him being with anyone else filled Jack with a sense of irrational possessiveness.

"Am I?" Ianto asked innocently, moving closer to Jack, a glimmer of amusement dancing in his eyes.

"Um, yeah. You are," Jack finished, trying to keep his tone light to hide his insecurity. "Besides, I don't like to share."

"Me neither," Ianto responded, suddenly serious again. He leaned in closer and gave Jack a brief but tender kiss. "Come on, let's eat," he added with a soft smile.

They moved the pizza and drinks over to the coffee table and sat down next to each other. Ianto was apparently as ravenous as Jack, and the pizza was finished off in short order, along with their first round of beers. Jack went to the refrigerator and extracted two more bottles, passing one to Ianto as he sat down again.

He took a steadying breath and gulped down a mouthful of beer from his fresh bottle before turning to look at the other man anxiously. "Ianto, there's something else I need to tell you... it's about John."

Ianto lowered his bottle from his lips and looked at him in surprise. "What is it, Jack?"

Jack sighed heavily and decided just to start from the beginning. He told Ianto about the discussion he'd had with John on the night of their celebration, and how he was meant to have been the first to test the simulation.

As he finished that part of the story, he saw the pain in Ianto's eyes. The younger man was apparently distressed that Jack had been so willing to sacrifice himself. Ianto didn't speak though, and Jack looked away. He wasn't used to having someone care about him like that, and despite Jack's doubts, it was clear that Ianto did care deeply about his welfare. After a moment, he forced himself to continue on, explaining what he'd discovered about John's activities while he'd had been away at the holiday cottage.

"And there were no problems? No side-effects?" Ianto asked, looking both astonished and curious.

"Owen said he checked him out each time afterwards, and apparently he was fine," Jack replied. "John took a hell of a risk though. I was furious when I found out what he'd done."

Ianto nodded. "But there's more isn't there?"

"Yeah," Jack admitted. "I'm not sure if I should tell you the rest. John told me not to tell anyone, but I think you deserve to know." He paused and rubbed at the back of his neck, desperately hoping that he wasn't making a terrible mistake. "But this has to stay between the two of us, okay? The others can't know."

Ianto continued to look at him curiously. "Yes, of course."

"John left me a video message," Jack stated. "He recorded it the night before he was killed."

Ianto's eyes opened wider, but he continued to listen as Jack recounted the contents of John's message as near to word-for-word as he could manage to recollect.

"And you have no idea what it means... what he discovered?" Ianto asked after he'd finished.

Jack shook his head. "Not a clue. It doesn't make sense. None of it does."

Ianto looked thoughtful but didn't say anything further. Jack rested his hand on Ianto's knee. "You're not going to like the next bit."

Ianto frowned. "You went into the simulation, didn't you?"

Jack nodded, realising that he shouldn't have been surprised by Ianto's perceptiveness. "Yeah. I had to see it for myself, and I needed to find the message he left for me."

"How many times?" Ianto asked evenly.

"Just once so far," Jack confirmed.

Ianto nodded. "Did you find it?"

"No," Jack admitted with a weary sigh. "I kept running into dead ends. Then my time was up." He paused and looked at Ianto cautiously. "I'm going back in," he said quietly, feeling an acute sense of dread at the thought. "I need to find that message."

"Jack, no!" Ianto exclaimed, sitting up straight and looking alarmed. "It's too dangerous. Especially with your condition."

Jack sighed. "I have to. There's no other way."

Ianto turned away and didn't say anything for a minute or so. "When?" he finally said before looking back at Jack with obvious fear in his eyes.

"Tomorrow night," Jack stated. "That's assuming I can convince Owen to help me again."

Ianto didn't immediately reply. "You could do what John suggested," he said quietly, looking down at his hands and not meeting Jack's eyes. "Leave it alone and walk away."

Jack took another mouthful of beer. "I know. And believe me, I've thought about it more than once. But I need answers. I need to know what John discovered. I'm not going to have any peace until I do." He shook his head wearily. "I suppose I just need to know that his death wasn't for nothing. That there was a reason, that it wasn't just some random event."

"And if you don't find anything?" Ianto argued. "If there aren't any answers?"

"There has to be something," Jack insisted. Although a large part of him wanted to simply let it all go, he needed to see it through to the end. "John went to a hell of a lot of trouble to hide that message and make sure I would be the only one to find it."

Ianto eventually nodded in agreement, but he remained silent.

Jack sighed again. "You think it's a bad idea, don't you?"

"No, I understand," Ianto replied hesitantly after a moment, looking into Jack's eyes and appearing to be genuinely afraid. "It's just that... I want you to be safe. And from what you've said, John wanted that too. He told you to walk away." Ianto paused and breathed out heavily as he fixed Jack with a piercing stare. "We don't know what could happen to you. You said so yourself, Jack. It's an enormous risk. You can't go plugging yourself into that machine without expecting there to be consequences."

Jack shrugged and tried to appear unconcerned. Ianto was right, but it wouldn't do either of them any good to focus on the risks. "John was all right, and I'll be okay too." Jack took Ianto's hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "It's going to be fine, Ianto."

Jack watched as Ianto stared down at their joined hands, a deep frown marring his handsome features. "I suppose," he agreed with obvious reluctance. After a moment he looked at up Jack. "Can I come with you? To the Hub tomorrow night, I mean."

Jack sighed and tightened his hold on the Welshman's hand. "Ianto, I'm not sure if that's a good idea."

"I want to see where John worked all this time," Ianto said insistently. "See what you've all achieved. Besides, it sounds like you could use some moral support."

"True," Jack admitted, and he knew that he couldn't refuse Ianto's request to see the results of John's work. He sighed heavily. "All right. I'll speak to Owen in the morning, and you can come with me to the Hub."

Ianto looked relieved. "Thank you."

Jack nodded and drained his bottle, put it down on the table, and then leaned back into the sofa. He kept a tight hold of Ianto's hand, drawing strength and comfort from the contact. Closing his eyes, he took a moment to consider Ianto's reaction to everything he'd just told him. The younger man had taken it surprisingly well, all things considered. Jack had half expected him to be furious, but if Ianto was angry, he was managing to hide it exceedingly well.

A soft clink of glass against glass reached his ears, and he felt Ianto shift on the sofa and move closer to him. A moment later, warm lips pressed against his own, and then an insistent tongue pushed into his mouth. Jack returned the kiss eagerly as Ianto's arms wrapped around him. The sheer intensity of the kiss surprised him, and the mixture of passion and desperation coming from Ianto was almost overwhelming.

Keeping his eyes closed, Jack lost himself as he concentrated on the sensation of intense arousal surging through his body. Ianto continued to kiss him fiercely, and it wasn't long before he was hard and straining against his jeans. Ianto continued to amaze him by seeming to know exactly what he needed. Jack reached up and cradled Ianto's face in his hands, savouring the feel of the younger man's soft, stubbled skin against his fingertips.

"Are you staying tonight?" Jack murmured as he opened his eyes and they finally pulled apart, both breathing rapidly.

"Is that okay?" Ianto asked quietly in return.

Jack wrapped his hand around the back of Ianto's neck and pulled him back in for a long, indulgent kiss. "Does that answer your question?" he said as he smiled against Ianto's mouth.

"Hmm... I think so," Ianto replied with a seductive grin as they broke apart again. "I might need some further reassurance though," he added teasingly.

Jack looked into Ianto's eyes and saw the lust burning in the darkened, stormy depths. A shiver of anticipation coursed down his spine. He couldn't wait to find out what new pleasures they would enjoy together as the evening continued.